Just wanted to say, I apologise for how crabby I’ve been around here lately.

I haven’t been sleeping much, work has gone completely nuts, and I’m feeling the stress of committing to raiding too much.

I can tell I’m getting unbearable, and the grumpiness is slopping all over my writing, and I apologise for it.

I’m hoping the combination of a good nights’ sleep tonight, a day off from work tomorrow, some playing in the snow with my son, watching Top Chef on tape and maybe getting some outdoor grilling in tomorrow will chill me back to normal.

Of course, I committed to main tanking Kara tonight. Elystia the mage has a 70 warrior she wants to bring into Kara as a tank, and I am looking forward to helping her. And I enjoy playing with Cassie and the guild. 

But I’m not looking forward to raiding tonight. The guild decided, hey, let’s schedule Gruuls for Friday night since a bunch of people that signed up for last Wednesday nights’ raid didn’t show after a week and a half of the run being up on the schedule and having been trumpeted by the officers. And hey, lets raid SSC on Saturday, and if the last 5 weeks in a row are any indication, hey, we almost got it done, so let’s schedule a raid at the last second for Sunday, too to try and finish it off. Why not.

Yeah, see? I start out trying to be nice, I just want to be lighthearted, and tell you I know I’ve been crabby as heck, and I can’t get through it without getting bitter.

Damn I need some sleep.

I am getting sick of it, though. If we have two big raids on the calender, then that’s what I want to commit to. If we schedule three, then I’ll be there for three. On time, repaired, and with consumables, so long as there has been enough time since the LAST raid for me to have done so.

But being somewhat responsible, and a family man, with the ability to organize our time as a family and make plans in advance, we as a family like to schedule the rest of the damn weekend. It’s getting so that home repair projects are coming up, rooms to paint, stairs to build on the patio, outside of the house to paint, new windows to install, family members to visit, you know. Life. We actually schedule these things. In advance. 

So these endless “We didn’t get it done tonight, not enough people online or that showed up after signing up, so lets assume EVERYONE here will be there tomorrow in the hopes of getting enough online to get a raid together, mmmkay” bullshit is not cutting it.

I feel responsible, as a member of the guild with solid tanking gear, to be available for guild progression events. But if you throw a raid up today, no matter how unrealistic your idea of just spontaneously starting a 25 man with 1 hours notice may be, I HAVE to be there at that time… just in case. And if ALMOST enough people show up… and you decide, well, we’ll schedule it for tomorrow… that’s a second night in a row that I have to be online to make sure, if I’m needed, I’m there.

And if this goes on most days, then it starts to feel like I have raided every one of those days, because I had to be online and ready to go, and NOT doing what we scheduled, or change our plans, or work around this crap. 

It’s getting old. It’s getting real old.

I hope that all of you will forgive my crankiness for now, and when I get some sleep, hopefully tomorrow will be a nice fresh return to the normal BBB. I need to spend some time doing evil practical jokes, that’s what I need to do. I need a fun imaginative project.

Hmmm. I think I have something in mind. Cool.

21 Responses to “My apologies, for all the rants and crabbiness”
  1. Messyah says:

    BBB, do you use the Group Calendar mod? If not, get it and make all of your guildies get it. It friggin rocks, man. Everyone does their sign-ups or no-shows right from the game clock, it gives you warnings that a Raid is about to begin, and best of all, when the time comes the raid leader can invite everyone with a single click. It’s frigging sweet.

    Our guild policy is we schedule 4 raid days per week (Sat, Sun, Mon, Tue) and all “raiders” must attend at least 2 of 4. These rules apply to 25-man raids only. If you do not attend your reqired 2-days of raiding (which even a blind monkey could accomplish), you lose your raider status and thus, are not given priority or SuicideKings bidding on any drops. Now, if you are on, ready and raring to go and the raid is cancelled, it counts towards your required 2.

    For those who are wondering what SuicideKings is, it’s an alternative to using DKP for 25-Man Raid drop distribution. We used to use DKP and it just made way too many people unhappy. SuicideKings, or SKG GEO (which is the version we use) is much easier to manage. I like it a helluva lot more than DKP. If you want to check it out, you can get it from curse.com.

  2. Ratshag says:

    “It didn’t work, so let’s do it some more” be a common practice, not limited to raid scheduling. /sigh

    Looking forward to hearing about the imaginative project.

  3. Aug says:

    Dude, you totally need a schedule. No _reasonable_ person will hold it against you if you say, in advance, “These are the nights I’m generally available for raiding, and these are the nights I’m generally not.” As long as they can plan around your Life, then I don’t see a problem. It would probably even be good for the guild as a whole, if someone else had an excuse to develop a tank of their own, specifically for the nights when you aren’t normally around.

  4. Taueth says:

    Sympathies on the raiding frustration. Nothing like logging on for nothing to really make a night stink. I hope your guild wises up to the ramifications, as one can give a raid burn-out with successive nights of raid-prep (which is not a small time-commitment), waiting, and then logging. It inspires people to quit raiding, quit the guild, or quit the game.

    It also tends to hit the most-dedicated the hardest, because they log on for those three…no, now it’s four…oh wait, let’s make it five, nights. Then the people who only showed up for one of the scheduled three raids wonder why other people are suffering from burn-out.

    I hope your guild can figure out a regular schedule and stick to it, and that things get better soon.

  5. Matticus says:

    Hey bear, April 1st is coming up *grin*. I’ll add you to my hit list =)!

  6. Bellwether says:

    I know what you mean. Last Saturday I rearranged all my Easter evening plans to work on Gruul’s with the guild. And when less than ten people showed up? Not a happy camper.

    WoW is a game you should enjoy, and I’m sad things have been going so it’s frustrating and unhelpful. I sincerely hope things get better and slow down a bit for you, so you can relax and take some more time off to do some fun, random things.

    And if your guild decides to keep doing it, then they should probably learn to do it without you so you can get some rest.

  7. Nightravyn says:

    /pat There, there, let it all out. It’s not good to hold all that in. :) Just remember, breathe in……….. breathe out. Breathe in…………. breathe out.

    Failing that, make your own raid on Shatt, naked and drunk, dancing on the tables. ::grin::

  8. Anna says:

    Chiming in to second what Aug said above. Work out a schedule, and if you can’t be online when they decide randomly to schedule something – well, they knew in advance that you weren’t around on Wednesdays (or whenever) because you’ve let them know. And by “them scheduling something” I mean scheduled raid days for the guild, not “well nobody showed up yesterday so we’re going today instead!”.

    This kind of “spontaneous raiding” works great for 5 mans… but not great for 25 mans, and only works for 10 mans when you have a large enough pool of geared people. And it should be spontaneous, not thrown up on the schedule and then expecting that everyone will drop their real life plans in order to show up.

    Also, if people aren’t showing up for raids that are scheduled a week in advance, and they aren’t letting anyone know why, there’s a bigger problem there, and it will eventually backfire on the guild. If people aren’t willing to commit and show up, it gets everyone else mad, nobody gets to raid, and resentment builds.

  9. Alex says:

    Already a lot of good advice here already. A regular schedule and a method for sign-ups should be a priority. They also need to understand the limits of the guild. Guilds are much better off in the long run if they are patient — ie not adding days just because they almost got SSC down. If they do that, they’ll find people not showing up the following week and this is a huge cause of regression, imo.

    For you, be careful that while you are trying to be the good guy and help the guild, if you burnout, then it hurts the guild in the long run since you probably won’t last. So, my advice is to avoid enabling this kind of disorganization. If they add a raid on short notice, and you are feeling run down, don’t bother with it. You are paying the same $15 as everyone else and shouldn’t be doing more than you are comfortable with. You don’t HAVE to be there, though I understand what you are getting at — you being available at their beck and call allows them to believe this kind of scheduling is ok,

    Good luck.

  10. Tauringard says:

    I understand you wanting to be there for your guild, but remember that is a two way street that you are on. They should understand that you have other things besides the game going on. I have to take weeks off from playing because of work. My guild understands that and works with me if we are planning something. They won’t hold it against you if you need a couple of days for personal stuff. If they do then unfortunately it might be time to rethink the situation. I hope you get it worked out because a burned out BBB is not a good thing.

  11. Melpo says:

    I think the main thing here is to let the other officers know what you are feeling. I know some of our guildies read the blog, but making sure that the GM and some of the other raid leaders know of your frustration will help.

    Hopefully it will also get easier when Jopps gets back.

    I will be on this weekend, at the normal time most likely. Let me know if you want to do some stuff on yer priesty. We’ll melt some faces. :)

  12. Hey BBB,

    Long time list- er, reader :) First time writer.

    The main issue here seems to be that you seem to have a sense of obligation to the guild to turn up to every raid no matter how poorly scheduled it is. Until this sense of obligation changes into a need to turn up for every “properly scheduled” run, and excludes the “lets just see if we can do it” runs, you will find that your frustrations do not diminish – in fact they will only grow over time.

    If you are online and doing nothing else anyway and have time to commit to an unscheduled raid, cool. But if you are re-organising RL commitments around these sorts of occurrences in game, then you need to re-prioritise methinks :)

    JMTCW

    Cheers

    Rob

  13. Spiritryu says:

    Here’s a fun and totally evil practical joke that I really want to see how well it’d go.
    “So if /gkick and /gquit were on a boat, and /gkick jumped off, who’d be left?”

    rest of the joke goes, “man that used to wipe out some of the noobs in MC days.”-1
    “But yea, they added a confirmation window now.” -2
    “really?” -1
    “yea!” -2
    “really?” -1
    “yea!” -2
    “really?” -1
    “yea!” -2
    “-1 has left the guild”

    Yea sounds fun to me :p

  14. Kheldar says:

    yeah been there, done it and got the t-shirt.

    used to raid 3 times a week pre-bc. had to sort it with wife so she was happy and then sign up.

    the times people turned up late, did not turn up, turned up and then as we raided found they had forgotten to repair or bring consumables was a real bind.

    in the end the guild folded due to the hardcore vs casual issue.

    i moved servers, TBC came out, i levelled to 70, thought heck i need a break and took 6 months off.

    came back end of last year just to have a look around and now with a new baby i certainly do not raid and just do the odd 5 man with some people i know.

    GL sorting it all out.

    I got fed up organising my real life around a ‘game’.

  15. Pete says:

    … and this sort of thing is why I don’t think I’ll ever see much of the raid content. Or even the harder 5-mans.

  16. Orc Shaman says:

    BearButt – just say no! And as someone else said, tell your guild officers how you feel.

    Turn up for the properly organised raids, and only go to the short notice ones if your life and your wife don’t mind. Otherwise put a note into whatever signup system you use along the lines of “I’d really like to be there for the attempt on [whoever] but [insert real life reason here]“. That way they know that you’re keen on being part of the raid setup, but that they have to take into account their member’s real life schedules.

  17. Amanna says:

    BBB – I totally disagree with your basic premise.

    You don’t HAVE to be there.

    I agree that it’s important to be responsible to your committments, but a raid scheduled with little advance notice, because of other guild members being irresponsible and not showing up, is not a raid I feel you HAVE to attend. If it fits your schedule, then fine. But if you have other things to do, like RL, then send a polite note that you can’t make it and attend to your affairs.

    It’s just a damn game after all. If you are blaming your crabbiness on the game, then it might be time to take a step back and re-assess things. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not on your case. I’m just as hooked on this thing as you. But there comes a time when you got to take stock of what’s important and make some priority choices.

  18. Heilerin says:

    BBB, you do NOT have to be there. You think you have a responsibility, but you do NOT. Your RL comes first, your family comes first, and you won’t feel like a loser if you actually dedicate time to that RL and get stuff done — paint rooms etc, whatever you have to do..

    Raids come and go, can happen again, will happen again.

    Take a break man. You certainly need it! Plus, it will make them appreciate you more when you get back. Or they find replacements, like they did with me. lol. Either way, no worries. Look after yourself first, your family. Then your friends (in game or RL). Otherwise you will lose yourself. And you will hate it. Been there, done that.

  19. Kestra says:

    Personally, I think if you need to vent/rant your blog is the ideal place to do it, as you can tell from many of the comments left so far to a certain degree many of us have been through similar sorts of scenarios, and your family and friends I’m sure appreciate that your frustration is taken out by venting through the medium of Blog, rather than directly on them.

    Whilst we want to support our guilds progress, and see the content for ourselves with the possible bonus of new loot we need to keep things in context, the worklife balance needs to be restored.

    I live by one motto in my work life, “I work to live, not live to work” in many respects, during heavy raiding focus times this motto can be applied to WoW.

    Keep the chin up!

  20. Mcmanager says:

    Raids are comprised of 10 or 25 different ppl. No one person can do it all. If the team is not willing to play as a team then the lvl of success you hope for will not come to be. It is important to realize that the accomplishment of killing new bosses and helping your friends with thier needs is supposed to provide you with enjoyment. The one thing I have always admired about your site is that you speak about raiding as a facet of an already enjoyable game that allows players to work together. Yeah, it’s nice to have the chance to get new gear and accomplish new things, but if you let yourself lose the reasons for your personal play then you will only be hurting yourself. Your committment to your group is inspiring as I have the same self-imposed desire to be there for my friends and guildmates, but it sounds as if it is not matched by all of your teammates. I would point you to a column you wrote recently about running Kara with a fresh tank and a less than strategically perfect group. Your joy in running it was clear regardless of whether you got anything out of it other than the sense of accomplishment from the teamwork involved. I salute you for trying to further the content available for enjoyment by your guild, but you need to have fun with it and work as a team. Organization is key for teamwork so scheduling the raids ahead of time sounds like a very suitable option for your guild. Also, you might consider discussing things with your officers as others have suggested. If you do not accept that the current state of affairs is not what you want from your playtime and speak with them about it, then things will only get worse. I think you will find that there are others who have the same thoughts on the situation as yourself who want to make the raiding work for the guild rather than the guild work for the raiding. WoW is a service you pay for so enjoy it. If all else fails, consider stepping back on the raiding for awhile to find, capture, and cage that feeling of enjoyment that you seek. Alts, rep grinds, 5-mans w/e. Just find something to devote your energies to that rewards you for your efforts with the enjoyment you deserve for your time. Sry if I sounded preachy. I’m going through alot of the same in my guild currently so I have great sympathy for you as you have still taken the time to speak with your readers.

  21. Mannyac says:

    Eh, hop in the car, fire up a cigar, have a beer and listen to the Malloys… make you feel worlds better.

    Have’em play Queen of Argyle for me

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