In response to the massive (and unexpected) outpouring of support yesterday, I just wanted to finish this up and then hopefully write about DRUIDS later this morning. No, really. I swear. Got a post half written about actual druid stuff and everything.
I’m serious, damn it! Stop laughing!.
Okay, in response to some of the stuff said yesterday;
I’m not actually stopping play, or quitting writing my blog, or anything. Have no worries on that score.
I don’t go to the official WoW forums because they have been taken over by asshats. I know there are good people that try to carry on solid discussions there, and lots of great folks write awesome guides and thoughtful posts over there; I long ago made the personal choice to avoid those forums as much as possible, since my time is too short to waste it wading through reams of bullshit to get to the good stuff.
But that policy has served to isolate me for quite a while from the worst of the jackasses that play the game.
I’ve gotten too used to the cool people that come by here and other blogs I read, and I have gotten a warped view of WoW players because of it.
I’ve even noticed it in the game itself. I find myself getting disgusted with other players in the game, and even in my guild, for using foul language, and being immature to just a stupid level.
I get to logging in, and wondering why the heck I have to put up with some of these idiots, mostly in trade channel, sure, but sometimes in guild chat too.
You people spoil the heck out of me by being mature and having an interest in the game and how to play your class, and being friendly to each other even when disagreeing with each other.
Oh, and since some folks may be thinking of some not-so-bad, youthful high spirits behavior and assuming that I’m talking about that kind of thing, no, I’m talking about people, for example, that go on and on and on about how they raped someone in PvP, and how they love to rape people (in PvP), and how we totally raped Kara, and just… wtf? Is rape your favorite word? Why the heck do you have to use it in EVERY OTHER SENTENCE? Can you please DROP the word and choose something that maybe DOESN’T have some massively hateful connotations? PLEASE?
THAT is what I’m talking about… okay? I’m not talking about piddling little stuff, here. It really takes a MASSIVE amount of constant behavior like that before I start getting tweaked.
But I sure don’t see that kind of thing here. No one comes on this site and brags about the people they raped in BG last night, and then go on to use long, rambling sexual terms to describe the way they pwned n00bs.
Yep, you people spoil me, and make me feel that mature, intelligent emotionally secure folks should be the norm in the game and on websites rather than the exception.
And when some crap rubs my nose in the reality, it annoys me.
Oh, and I do have a reply to folks that think less of me because I occasionally get worked upa bout it. Hey, it’s cool, I never understood why people thought I was a reasonably stable person in the first place. If you think I’m an idiot for letting some things get to me, that is absolutely understandable. If I let it get to me to the point that it affected the decisions I made on how I spend my time, I’d agree with you.
I am not too cool for school. I do not maintain an emotionally distant, unfeeling attitude towards people and their words, simply because the medium we use to communicate with is the web.
Nope, I try to be emotionally open, honest, and passionate about what I do. I am genuinely enthusiastic. This is the real me. (Sad, I know. lol)
As the saying goes… I’m FINE. [Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional].
If I ain’t feeling passionate, if I’m all bummed out and tired and drained, I try not to post. If I feel blah, what I’m going to write is gonna be blah too. And if I’m too tired to write… what’s the point?
BUT, if I’m pissed, that’s a fair game mood. My criteria isn’t about being a shiny happy person, it’s about being passionate about what I’m talking about.
I am just lucky that more often than not, I am happy/passionate rather than angry.
But please. My friends, telling me that I should be the better man by not caring what someone says isn’t the answer that works for me.
I don’t take what they or anyone says about me personally, sure, in fact I most often laugh at the stuff I see that gets said about me. I think my judgment is pretty sound about perspective, and whatnot.
But I’m still going to care when people go to the trouble to spew hate. I’m still going to feel that twinge of hurt when someone goes to the effort of unleashing the bile at me or at people I care about. I’ll recognise them for folks not worth my time or attention, but I’ll still feel that twinge of “ouch”.
The time I no longer care what any of you have to say, is the time I WILL no longer write this blog, because I will cease to give a shit.
I hope that day never comes, even if I occasionally get my eensy weensy feelings hurt or pissed off or whatever. Better I get torqued by a hater than that I read everything people say and go ‘Eh, who gives a shit’.
I dunno, maybe that is wrong, but it just feels more like being me, you know? Cynical, sarcastic, sometimes bitter, but always me.
Oh, and why do I write stuff like this? It’s a good question, because I always figure just as I’m about to hit ’send’, that no one out there needs to read crap like this. But I write it because it feels like it purges some kind of worry or weight from my mind. I get to thinking about stuff, and I write and write, and then I hit send, and it’s purged. Gone. My stress noticeably drops. I wander away from the keyboard lightened and whistling.
I have noticed that those posts I make that I’m sure will be the ones that, honesty or not, gets you to stop visiting the blog, are the ones that get commented on the most. You’re all enablers, damnit. You’re all coming to my next Bloggers Anonymous meeting.
Take care guys, chill out, I’ll see you in a couple hours with some druid talk.
Hey,
Keep on keeping on man!
Being Quiet now… Not Enabling… :-)
Hey, you can’t be roses and rainbows all the time.
And to be truthful, the friends I used to play with love to over-use “rape”. Not just in WoW, but in every capacity.
So when the limitations of their lingual skills keep them at a level where they feel that the phrase “rape” is the most creative and appropriate expression for their situation, you HAVE to pity them. Most players, unfortunately, will think that the game is a perfect outlet for locker-room talk.
(I’ve got nothing against it, but it’s a little annoying when we’re doing a heroic Underbog run and our tank is spending three minutes tea-bagging Hungarfen and bragging about it in guild chat.)
Thanks for being honest with us.
I’m glad to hear that you’re feeling better! Illegitimi non carborundum! (Don’t let the bastards grind you down!)
When you do your Druid post, can you put something in there about “Kitty” form? ;)
ya know, all you mature hard working people should server transfer and start your own guild. You could take over the world!.. of warcraft.
-steve
Ehh. It can’t be as bad as Barrens chat late at night. Trust me.
:P
Spot on, as usual… when I read your blog and many others of the fun, cool, informative and nice wow-blogs out there I often find myself thinking it would be fun if the people who write them and comment on them were playing on my server ;P
Would be pretty nice to be able to play and interact in-game with you all who seems to know your stuff, and are able to talk about it in a fun nice way :-) (as opposed to the all-too-common rude, moronic, offensive and disgusting creatures who spew their loud-mouthed crap everywhere.)
Slightly off topic maybe but there is this guild on my server which has a recruiting line that goes something like this:…what are you doing out here?… naked and lonely and raped…come in for a cup of tea… pwns! /w for invites.
Yes? And? Totally uncomprehensible recruiting line, unless they are trying to advertise themselves as a guild for immature asshats who think they are cool. Or maybe I am just missing something.
Anyways, keep the posts coming, your rants are as enjoyable to read as your more informative posts :-)
I really hear you!
One’s ignorance and general lack of experience is apparent in their comments. Those who have had life hit them once or twice in the guts won’t tell someone to DIAF (die in a fire) even in pseudo-jest.
Actually, a bunch of bloggers started their own alt guild to play in, and made brand new level 1 alts to elvel together. I hear its working great, and they are having insane amounts of fun. I wish I could do that, I really wanted to join them, but I have too much going on with my Druid to split up game time that way right now, and by the time I COULD play with them, they’ll be level 45 or something, lol.
But you are ab solutely right, I have often thought how insane it would be to ahve bloggers from all over the web do a mass migrate server transfer to form one guild. Of course, I wouldn’t get to play with Trackhoof or Ratshag or Dammerung or Mooire, but I’d get to play with Valenna, Phaelia, BRK, Nightravyn, Leafy, Bell, TJ and Doomilias.
Ah well… an idle dream, such would never come to pass.
Trying to remember that thing that one guy said in trade yesterday… letting all the immature morons loose in trade chat and in-game in general is like unleashing savages into a natural habitat. There is no real control over them aside from you just /ignoring them. It would be fantastic to do some research on how people act in such an environment. It sure is amazing just how many morons are playing this game.
I’d move this priest into such a guild in a heartbeat. She is a 51 at this point.
I’ve felt your pain… really I have. I wish I could tell you I found a cure for it, but I didn’t. My solution was to bid farewell to the handful (or two) of guildies that I actually cared about, thanked them for countless hours of fun, and then disconnect.
It has been a struggle. Watching the arrival of the 2.4 goodness… thinking about the upcoming arrival of WOTLK… knowing that I’ve got a main and an alt still waiting on me to take them to see Supremus and Kael (respectively)… and remembering all the good times spent with friends… I frequently wonder if I made the correct decision.
And then I remember the utter frustration that the unreasonable, self-centered and arrogant children on my realm brought to my life.
At some point playing became a chore. It felt like I was babysitting somebody else’s kids. After weeks and weeks and months and months or dealing with other players who by their words or through their actions left me feeling depressed and miserable, players who were all “take,” with unreasonable demands and no reciprocation, I noticed that I was only playing out of habit and was frequently not enjoying myself at all. The endgame progression required co-operation with people who shouldn’t be given the time of day. So I decided to leave them to their own devices.
I apologize for the downer… I hope you have more luck with this problem.
Don’t worry about being in a snippy mood. Even your rants are coherent and intelligent, which is why I keep coming back to read this blog. (eck, I don’t even HAVE a druid character other than a lvl 15 banker mule)
The periodic rage is acceptable and probably unavoidable. You ARE, after all, a Big Bear, and rage is what you do. If you’d be Big Kitty Tail, the blog would probably be all over the place with extra ADD energy you’d have… :D
BBB –
You are not alone in the shock, disbelief and outrage inspired by the flip and casual use of the word “rape” ingame. On a number of occasions, I’ve whispered the offender, and tried to explain that if they knew anyone who had been the victim of rape, or knew that they knew, or (God forbid) been victimized themself, they would NEVER toss around this term so lightly. The usual response is, sadly, exactly what I’ve come to expect from someone who would use the term to begin with…
But I feel like I have to say SOMETHING. I’m a teacher in RL, and I make the same attempts with students who toss around the word “gay” as an insult of the highest order. Baffles me, esp. when I know, for a fact, that some of their best friends are gay, and I can only imagine how these friends must feel when their “buddy” uses the term as an insult.
Anyway, just wanted you to know that you’re not the only one up on that soapbox. Keep fighting the good fight, BBB.
Braveship
(Anvilmar)
I have found setting boundaries and keeping focused on the aspect of the gaming part of the game helps me maintain sanity. I also find chipping in where I can in guild chat, trade chat and general chat to help illustrate the absurdities of the asshats brings me great joy.
But, back to the boundaries idea. I learned well about 12 years ago when I played that first MMO Gemstone 3 that if I was going to enjoy a game like this I was going to have to set up some boundaries when it came to what extent I was going to allow myself to be drawn into to the lifes of others. Being a counselor in real life, I often find myself coming to the game to play out life as alot less serious than the client I just talked to about his/her suicidal ideations. So here are a few of the rules(boundaries) I follow while in game take it for what its worth.
1. No one “knows” me…Neither text or vent nor anyother from of communication will ever really reveal the person that I am outside of this game.
2. I never really “know” anyone in game…recipocal of above statement.
3. Text is the absolute worst means of communication so I never take it seriously when I read it. In game you get none of the non-verbal clues that we get in normal human converstaion so it is hard to assume you understand when someone is conversing with you outside of the normal stand here and kill this or stand here and heal me while I kill this type of directions.
4. Assholes are everywhere and mine stinks as bad as yours…Good people have bad days and are capable of saying some pretty horrid things. I am just as capable on a bad day.
Hope this helps. First time poster but long time reader. Thanks for your stories BBB. Keep up the fun, info, and all out druidness.
I know women who have stopped playing wow because they were into PVP over raiding and you can’t PVP w/o hearing raped every other second.
I’ve been in 4 guilds since I started playing, the last 3 all with women GLs. I find that putting myself in that environment helps minimize the kind of conversations you’re talking about. There’s been other drama in the middle 2 guilds, but not that kind.
The guild I’m currently in is a casual adult guild/alliance that is co-led by a female and male team (online, not RL, friends) and I have never seen anything like that in almost a year in either our alliance or guild channels. Every once in a while one of the younger “adult” guys will get drunk and start talking about the sex he wishes he had, but that’s about it.
So I guess what I’m saying is that there is no reason to put yourself in that environment, ever. If I see it in general or trade, I leave the channel. If I see it in a PUG, I voice my feelings and if needed ditch the group. I admit, I don’t BG regularly … may be no escape there.
I play this game for fun … there is no reason I should have to put myself in any situation that makes me uncomfortable when I’m trying to relax and get away.
Like Braveship I’m also a teacher IRL. Maybe that affects how I perceive the World of WOW.
B3, you used the “R” word too many times in this post. I am sorry to tell you that you are being removed from my Rss feed.
Interesting coincidence… Last night I was having a conversation with the other officers in our guild about recruitment policy…
We don’t really have one at the moment – we’re a pretty casual bunch – brought together through a similar set of capabilities originally…
But recently, we’ve been trying to recruit – and have been advertising in-game for members.
As a result, we’ve had.a bunch of new members who haven’t really been “vetted”… And these have generally been getting me down.
Our original members were all “Adult” – some university friends and others who had gathered online – I’m probably one of the oldest, though.
The new members include a fair few “youngsters”, ubclifing at least one 13 year old… His recent annoying habit is telling GRIFFIN TIME in Guild Chat every time he uses a Flight Master…
I know that’s not a bad thing, as things go, but the Fifth time in an hour got to me…
Our Guild Chat is now peppered with a variety or expletives and L33T Speek, and it annoys me! Hey – on a bad day bad grammar in Guild Chat can abbot me!
So I’m currently wondering whether it’s just my advancing years, or a valid opinion, that we should have an age limit for members…
Your comments reinforce my opinion – I use WOW as an alternative environment to real life and don’t want the rubbish parts of society (probably a bit of a strong description, Stobs, he’s just young!) in there spoiling it!
Rant over! And thanks for listening!
LOL @ maerdred.
Aluc, your point on text sucking to communicate meaning is dead on.
Sadly, the person I cited uses the word in text a lot, but I never said anything… until I was in kara with him and he used it in off topic BG discussion on the teamspeak server during the run. That’s when I just had to stop and say, “Jeez, c’mon man….”
Hey, there are some folks in my guild I simply love playing with. But can anyone out there truly tell me they are in a guild with more than 15 people, and they like every single other person in the guild all the time?
Sometimes, I think it’s only realistic that in order to play with the people you really like, you’re going to have to be mature and ignore the chatter from the one or two that you don’t like.
But I have never been shy about telling someone that they are going over the line of my comfort zone when it’s just over the top.
We had a Kara run over a month ago, where one of the players was a 13 year old warrior. I normally am not ageist (unlike Cassie, who keeps telling me how I’m old enough to be most of the other guildies’ dad. She just recently discovered the guild forum ‘about the player’ thread… with names, ages and pictures. She is horrified. lol, she is SO going to kick my ass for saying that.), and the kid was NOT a bad player.
Wild and unfocused, sure, excitable, yeah, but those are NOT negatives. Being young is not a fricken’ crime. I think if you’re young, run with it, revel in it, go nuts.
But he got into a heated discussion with another guildie in teamspeak during the run, talking in the most vulgar terms about… well, things that they were too damn young and ignorant to have first hand knowledge of. We told them both repeatedly to stop using that language on teamspeak, and they ignored us. And then one of the players in the group simply left TS. They said in text that they’d stay in the run, but they refused to listen for one more minute to that talk.
Yeah, when that happens, you know there is a serious problem. It is a game, and if someone playing the game is uncomfortable at THAT level, you are failing as an officer. Especially when you have ten people on a raid in a chat room as a ‘captive’ audience who can’t reasonably leave without trashing the run.
I was all for /gkicking them, but I was swiftly over-ruled.
But I did make the personal decision that I would never run a raid with either of them again. I respect myself too much to deal with that kind of drama in my funtime, the same as so many of you have said.
Since then, well, guess who ain’t in the guild anymore. Others finally had enough.
But the point remains… just cause that one guy in the guild is an asshat, does not mean you leave the guild full of people you like playing with and respect as damn good people.
Right? You don’t throw out a whole bunch of bananas cause you found one with some brown spots all over it. Right?
I wish Blizzard would:
a) Make 18+ servers, and
b) Have not only an “ignore” button, but “ostracize” where if enough folks click it, the person is muted in general, trade, receives the deserter debuff and is unable to group.
@BBB
I guess the dream is to find a guild big enough to do all the fun stuff but small enough to stay like minded when it comes to these issues. You may not throw out all the Bananas but you sure take a closer look at the rest of the them once you throw out the one bad one.
And on a side note I learned a valuable lesson today. Never choose a banana for breakfast in the dark and then get in a dark car and eat it. Life lesson #567
Whew, I do know what you mean about being spoiled. I had a side project going on where I was trying to pug every instance in the game, sort of hoping to brush with stupid people who did annoying things so I could blog about the experiences. Two things killed the project… one is Pox Arcanum, the blogger alt guild you mentioned, and the other is that I’ve hit 70 and can now group more easily with my guild (I adore them!). I’ve found that it is much more fun and relaxing to group up with friendly, mature, like-minded folks than to hang out in the LFG hoping for the best. (I’m not saying I won’t pug anymore because I have met some great folks that way, it’s just not my focus anymore.) Because hobbies are supposed to be fun and relaxing, right?
In any case, if you ever do find some extra time for some Poxin’ fun, just drop us a line in the blog. We’d love to have you. :)
Hey BBB Was interesting to read your post and I too HATE that word – had guys from another guild use the C word in an instnace the other day and I had to ask them to stop – which they did and apologised.
I’ve had a lot of problems finding the right guild – being a 35yr old female I don’t want to play with kids. The guild I am in now has about 40 active people – about 25 active 70s and it’s brilliant. We have 5 guild masters – yes 5! 2 are female and the other 3 are male all over 30. We only recruit friends and have slowly gotten a really nice group of people together who respect each other – no kids allowed – we have one guy who is 18 soon but everyone else is prettty much over 25 and it makes a huge difference to only allow 25+ people in the guild.
It makes it a lot slower to grow but we are finding that people are starting to want to join us as they play with the people in the guild and find a place where we can have some adult fun! Yes Friday nights can get crazy when ppl start to unwind and have a few drinks, but its the kind of crazy chat that 25+ people have w respect for both sexes.. we’ve had our fair share of almost naked raids etc etc but TBH it is usually the women that start that kind of stuff! I think we actually have more women than men and sometimes I think the guys get a little scared by our guild chat!
Anyway… the point of all my rambling is that I think its ideal to have a guild made up of friends of friends all 25+. Our most active GM /gicked a guy the other day cause he just didnt fit in – you have to be a bit ruthless and stick to what it is you want the guild to be… we have grandparents in our guild and they are soooooooo much fun to play with – more so than a 16yr old!!!
Heya BBB, I think you’re an awesome guy, and I totally get where you’re coming from. Like you, I cannot stand how many asshats there are in this game. I stick to my little guild of 7-8 active players, and join public organized raids on the server. We recently had a guild mate quit the guild and I secretly was kinda glad he did because he was usually rude and crass, and would use “rape” casually too.
It’s definitely a combination of insensitivity, immaturity, and a large helping of asshat-ness, for sure. What gives? What’s with this angry generation?
Yeah, I should stop reading the official WoW forums, lol. I feel so dirty and tainted with negativity. Maybe I’m just a big old carebear–I’m not cut out for this world of leetcraft. *grin*
Keep writing, and don’t feel obligated to only write about Druid stuff! I always enjoy reading your blog. All the best.