Wind and Cassie with their buddy

As you can see, Cassie and I had us some fun in a little old thing we like to call ‘Gruul on Farm Status’.

For the fourth time, Legatum Ignavis has entered Gruul’s Lair and downed High King (on a one shot), and for the second time we downed Gruul himself, this time after only 1 wipe.

The fights were strong, the guild really did a great job on both.

What was most interesting was that this marked the first real raid we have done since our Raid Leader, Joppers, returned from his 2 month long out-of-town work trip.

When Joppers left, our guild did not have the raw numbers to attempt a 25 man raid. Since then, our numbers have climbed, due to the hard work of Irviding, Whirlish, Rynadur and others on recruiting.

But Joppers also seemed to experience firsthand the frustration that many of us raiders have felt lately. There are a large number of players that seem to have taken the ‘Bum’ slogan of Legatum Ignavis seriously, people who never ran with Joppers in the ‘old days’ (lol), and who see nothing wrong with flagging PvP cause they are bored during the last few seconds of waiting for the run to start, or not bringing consumables, or of going afk with no warning, or of taking forever to rebuff, or of talking wildly on open chat.

Jopps don’ be puttin’ up with dat shit, homey.

Last night our DKP system went into effect, Joppers organized and directed, and the High King portion went smooth. Down fast and hard, minimal deaths, good loot. And then, the normal crap started back up.

People that have to go afk without warning were the biggest problem.

After the shoulder Tier 4 tokens were handed out, several people wanted to trade them in for new shoulders immediately before the Gruul fight. This was reasonable, and especially in the case of our main tank, Bladeofdeath, smart.

It was not a problem. It was organized to take minimal time, a quick port to Shatt, a Warlock summons back. Fast and easy.

However, we seemed to have a few people think that this signaled ‘do whatever the hell you want’ time in the raid. I say that, because from that moment on, every time we had a pause, we had drama with afkers and other crap.

We had afkers and such during the first trash run to Gruul, a silly annoyance, but we got through it. The person that was afk the longest simply had bad computer connection problems, and worked them as fast as possible. Sometimes, it happens.

But after we had our first shot at Gruul and wiped when the main tank went down and we only had two DPS left after a real bad shatter, (oh yes, and I took your advice and I off tank this instead of main tanking… it seems fine), we had so much afk action that after only the one attempt, all trash had time to respawn, so we had to kill it all again.

Finally, we got a couple new people into the group, lined up on Gruul for try two… and realised we STILL had a paladin afk. No warning or announcement when he went, but still afk. And this guy is one of the officers. No one knows why he left, but his TS is still up, he’s still there in game, he didn’t say anything… wtf?

So we wait. And we wait.

Can we boot him? Well, no. Because he’ll still be in the instance. In a raid, you can remove someone from the raid group, but until they actually leave the instance, you can’t bring in a replacement.

And Xhandhele just ain’t coming back. We wait, and wait… after all the other piddly little bullshit and afks and stuff, this is really getting frustrating. He is removed from group, but of course sometimes it can take over an hour before player inactivity forces a logoff. What the hell are we gonna do?

So I advance the idea… let’s kill him and wait the 5 minutes for his body to despawn to the graveyard. 

Cheers all around!

Everyone but Whirlish and I left the instance. I stepped back into the shadows, stealthed in kitty form, and took a good position to watch the show. Whirlish, our guild leader, took the honor of starting this himself. Whirlish and I were both prepared to die to get the shot.

Whirl lines up his shot

Whirl moved forward, and prepared to take his shot. He knew he had one chance at a Feign Death, and he prepared himself for the most important shot of his career.

afk2.jpg

He nocked his arrow, and let fly. Hey! Gruul! Come get some fresh meat!

And Gruul, apparently, was hungry.

afk3.jpg

Gruul came right on in. Whirlish was prepared, he looked death straight in the eye… and Feigned.

afk4.jpg

Oops! Apparently, Gruul didn’t buy it. Too bad, Whirl! You took one for the team! After Whirlish went down, the still afk Xhandhele came to attention, as if, even with his controller afk and leaving him uncaring to his fate, the avatar still sensed the rush of doom upon him.

afk5.jpg

Poor, poor Xhandhele. When seen, crumpled up in death, you look so tiny next to the immensity of Gruul’s hoof.

The sadness of this scene leads one to contemplate the transcience of life, the fragility of our brief, fragile few moments in the vastness of the cosmos.  How vulnerable we all are to the permanence of death. How sudden, our fall from grace.

The lessons we learn through life, that we wish we could share with others.

Lessons like, next time, don’t go afk for 30 minutes on the boss fight, bitch.

30 Responses to “The lesson – don’t be going afk in a raid!”
  1. Heilerin says:

    This is freaking hilarious. Lets make a guide out of this: “How to get rid of AFK’d players in a raid instance”.

    LOL.

  2. Heerow says:

    One word, BBB: Misdirect.

    ’nuff said

  3. Bluedevil says:

    I prefer the MD to AFK’r then feign death method myself.

  4. don says:

    Agreed, should’ve MD’ed. Did this guy get /gkicked?

  5. bigbearbutt says:

    Read it again. We had removed him from the raid already. We couldn’t MD on him as a target. He wasn’t grouped with anyone anymore. Believe me, we all assumed we still could MD on him, until we actually tried. Darn it.

  6. MooPew says:

    So awesome… I’d be more than willing to take a death to ensure justice like that! :)

  7. Steve says:

    Thats classic,

    Unfortunately it was one of your officers.

  8. Yashima says:

    Oh oh, this makes me laugh. I’ll be sure to share that story on guild teamspeak soon :) I love this kind of post. Need more!

  9. Dalican says:

    Grats on having Gruuls on farm guys :)

    Now you get to do the fun that is Magtheridon.

  10. Messyah says:

    If you go AFK without notice, you get MD’d… plain and simple.

  11. tessy says:

    /rofl
    /applaud
    /will surely suggest this method of dealing with future afk’ers in my partys – yay, let’s kill them! :-)

    (and I hope it wasn’t something serious that made him go afk for so long… once as I was playing there was a knock on the door, I said brb to my party and went to open it. Outside was a neighbour telling me my son had been in a car crash. I just left the house without even a thought of telling my group I wouldn’t come back. Thankfully my son and his friends were ok, not a scratch on any of them, but the car was completely wrecked… )

  12. Tarq says:

    Don’t you wish you could choke people through the internet?

  13. bigbearbutt says:

    Tessy, that is exactly why no one has said a word about any sterner measures.

    Who is to say what happened to draw Xhandhele away from his computer for so long?

    What if he was sitting there, playing and serious, and Bruce Willis came to his door to take him to jail? And right then, terrorists attacked, and blew up everything in his room, but the computer was left miraculously untouched?

    Who can say?

    But his afk shut down our raid. So we took action. Swift, decisive action. And then we downed Gruul.

    I sincerely hope that nothing bad happened… and just as I logged off for the night, I saw he logged back in, so he must have been somewhat ok.

  14. Lysanne says:

    Oh my goodness, I am going to have to start saving your blog to read at home instead of during class – I almost laughed out loud RIGHT in the middle of a lecture on Miranda warnings. :)

    And I posted a link to this on the guild forums…hilarious. Lessons to be learned, kids!

  15. Messyah says:

    Hey BBB, I tanked MrT Heroic last night. That place is fun, but the 2nd boss HURTS!!!!!! Interrupts are a MUST on him. If he gets his Pyroblast off, it hist for 26K. Nothing good for my Feralness dropped, but I got THIS really nice healing staff…

    Rod of the Blazing Light
    Binds when picked up
    Staff
    Two-Hand
    Speed 2.80142 – 290 Damage
    (67.6 damage per second)
    +36 Stamina
    +32 Intellect
    +41 Spirit
    [ ] Red Socket
    [ ] Yellow Socket
    [ ] Blue Socket
    Durability 120 / 120
    Requires Level 70
    Equip: Increases healing done by up to 348 and damage done by up to 116 for all magical spells and effects.

  16. Messyah says:

    Also, BBB… I was told something last night that I found disturbing. Since you’re a fantastic Druid theorycrafter and a priceless tome of knowledge, hopefully you can clarify or crush this awful rumor…

    I was told that the “ignore armor” gear comes off of the targets maximum armor. That is to say that the armor reduction from Faerie Fire does NOT factor in to the amount of armor your target has and the amount you ignore.

    (Here’s an example, ignore the numbers, they are just for show:)

    So, if your target has 7,000 armor, and you hit them with Faeire Fire which reduces it by 610, and say you have 550 worth of armor ignore, your ignore is being factored against 7k armor, not 6,390 armor thanks to the Faerie Fire. Think you can crack this case? Solve this mystery? :-) If so, please do for me, a faithful reader. LOL

  17. Dalican says:

    @BBB
    Just curious. Thinking about transferring my Mage and Druid (both 70, Mage is 40/21/0 arcane/fire and Druid is 0/50/11) to a guild a little lower on progression than my current one. Just curious if your guild is in need for either class.

    Thank.

  18. Anon says:

    Why didn’t you take your armor off!
    Durability damage!
    Whirlish still had his gear on before he tried the pull!

  19. Maerdred says:

    I thought that once you kicked someone from the raid they’d get the automatic 60 second hearth?

  20. Logan says:

    Maerdred, that’s only in 5-mans. In a raid the person doesn’t get booted until she/he has been afk for a set amount of time (15 minutes? an hour? I forget). I wish Blizzard would set something up that deals with this issue. We had one of our healers ninja AFK an hour an a half into the raid. He didn’t come back at all, but wasn’t ported from the instance either. We had to do Shade of Akama with 24 people. Good thing he’s a big ole’ loot pinata.

  21. Nightravyn says:

    hahaha okay much love for that… :D

  22. Matticus says:

    Excellent choice of Anti AFK measures!

  23. Adonik says:

    What a story, I’m sharing this entry with the guild. LOL!

  24. Kal says:

    Awesome. I wish we had known that; we would’ve kicked an afker in gruul this way instead of waiting 15 min for the offline despawn.

    I’m kinda astounded by the amount of afking there. Seriously. The trash had time to actually respawn? There’s like what, 4 pulls! I can see getting distracted on the SSC trash or the TK trash leading to loot reaver, but…4 small pulls! Wow. You must’ve been pulling your hair out.

  25. tessy says:

    Yes, I know…I am a cosmic worrier, and when people go afk like that when they are supposed to be there (unless they are chronic afk’ers) I worry. But worrying doesn’t stop me from getting irritated at them, and I think you did just right to remove him from your raid like you did :-)

    And I will definitely remember this sweet way of removing afk’ers. Also wish there was some way to speed up a transfer of group leadership as well, for those times when its the group leader that has gone afk or dc’d and you stand there with a half-cleared instance and you are unable to kick the absentee and replace him.

    Gratz to downing Gruul btw :-)

  26. Bellwether says:

    BBB and Legatum Ignavis ftw!

  27. dorgol says:

    Um… the release timer doesn’t appear when you are in an instance.

  28. HolyWarrior says:

    Hahhaa.

    I think maybe he would have auto-logged anyway after 5 minutes and it was just coincidence that he went 5 mins after you killed him – still hilarious though!

    According to Doofy’s Shattered Halls Sit in of 2007 (http://doofythepaladin.wordpress.com/2008/01/02/the-great-shattered-halls-sit-in-of-07/) if you’re in an instance with an ID you don’t get the release after 5 minutes.

    Irregardless (just to annoy certain bloggers) the story gave me a chuckle to start the day off well!! Keep up the goodwork B^3

  29. Asara says:

    Awesomeness, lol!! I did something similar as a prank in a heroic Arc run once.. The event was instigated by my CL, so I was just following orders! (lol) Our pally tank went afk, and the other 3 people left the instance. I MD’ed the voidwalker boss onto the tank, and feigned. He dropped like a stone, and everyone else came back in. When he got back from his AFK, we told him that he had aggroed the boss and wiped us. He didn’t even check his log to see if we died, as far as I could tell! He was soooo sorry, he felt so bad, lol!!

    I felt like a little kid leaving a flaming bag of poo on someone’s porch.. it was great! :)

  30. Messyah says:

    Best MD trick I pulled was outside of TK instance stone. I asked a complete stranger (Priest) to join my party so they could help me summon, and as soon as they did, I MD’d 2 warpstalkers and a windserpent on them and feigned. They were NOT pleased. LOL – Of course, I paid for his repairs and we lauged about it later.

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