Real good post Cassieann. I hav had the same feeling as you. But the difference for me was that my wife isn’t playing and don’t really like computers at all. We got small kids also 3.5 and 1 years.

First I must say that I feel for you and I think most words of support are already said. Just wanna add a thing I experienced when BC came.

I was in a raiding guild doing MC, Ony and ZG. Back then it was easier to join since filling a 40 man means that even casual ppl could join. And I was playing a holy paladin and healers was in constant short supply.

Well. I tried to raid my best but that did cause some stress between me and my wife. Not much but a little. I was rushing my oldest (and then only son) to bed. and did some “speed tucking in”. Not really nice.

To make a long story short. When BC came and our old guild just disbanded and none wanted to do old raids plus that old raidgear was replaced by green drops in before dinging 62 I got a bit of a revelation.

All that drama, all that grief and all that stress between me and my wife and me feeling bad about not focusing on my son was all for naught. None of the things pre BC mattered anymore.

I felt a bit empty.

So. Dont overstress now and feel bad – because you will regret it when WotLK is released.

Good luck, lots of hugs to you, your son and the Big Bear But :)

Rohan’s definitely right that your guild’s schedule should be determining the content, not the other way around. One of the hardest, but most necessary choices we ever hit was when to cut content from the raid schedule. You’re never, ever going to be ‘done’ with an instance. Someone will always want something that hasn’t dropped yet, or some new guildie will need gear. But any guild that’s interested in progression at some point needs to say ‘We don’t have time for x in the official raid schedule anymore, it’s for off nights now’.

My big suggestion is unfortunately not under your control, perhaps it’s under BBB’s if he’s an officer, but here goes. You need more raiders. If you’re hurting for people that badly, if it’s at the point where things will grind to a halt if one or two people has RL stuff crop up, then your roster isn’t deep enough. You almost always need more people than you think. Does it mean people sometimes don’t get to raid when they want to, or have to jockey for a raid spot? Yeah. But it also mean that people can take a night off to prevent burnout, and you have backups for emergencies.

It also sounds like your raids need to be run a little tighter if anything, I know it sounds counter intuitive but raids often start to relax if they’re moving briskly. Fast pulls, fast resets, keeping raid chatter succinct and to the point , pulling when you have enough people to start the pull rather than wait for full readiness keeps people engaged and interested. The bad situation is if things start getting away from you, as people start disengaging and watching tv, or alt-tabbing to browse the web. You get people afking and coming back in disjoint intervals, folks get bored and frustrated at delays, and stop-start action causes performance to suffer.

You don’t have to be at military levels of discipline, nor does it have to be like work. The closest thing I can liken a successful raiding guild atmosphere to is an organized club level sports team (like a soccer, football, or hockey team). People joke in the locker room, or even out on the field, but a certain level of preparedness and willing to engage in unison mean that you can stop worrying about all the little moving pieces and focus on the larger effort, which frees up room around the sides to enjoy yourself.

i to am past the 30 and damn close to the big bad 40 and the number of players in my past 40 man raiding guilds that could have been child is frightening.

there was ofc nothing like wow when we were their ages.

when i did raid 40 mans 2/3 times a week i found myself fitting RL around raiding. it got to much and it was not right. so when the guild folded due to some people wanting it to go even more hardcore i was not entirely unhappy.

wow raiding feels like a job – or it did when doing 40 mans. probably the same for 25 mans ?

i now have a 19 week old sun and find that if i am online to much its then putting all the pressure and work for him onto my wife…..she is not a gamer really so does not ‘get’ wow or any other online form of gaming.

i’m now in my own guild of 4 and we do as many heroics as possible with them doing more than me. and at least now with badge loot i do have stuff to aim for to ‘progress’ my own gear where as in the past if you did not raid you went no where with improving your gear.

another couple hundred badges and i can grab a couple of those very nice looking new 2.4 leather bear items :)

First things first, and that is to take a deep breath and begin looking at the situation from the outside. Read your post as if it was written by a very good friend of yours. What would you say to her/him?

I enjoyed your thoughtful and thought provoking note. I think you should consider your own blog or maybe a regular guest spot on BBB’s blog. lol.
I am always interested in gaming from a female perspective. I am a 53 year old grandmother and a full-time nurse, so I understand a few of the family and work issues you discuss. I marvel at the parents that I play this game with. I loved the comment about needing to clean house, because of the eco system on the dirty dishes.
You echo the thoughts that I have said and expressed so many times about “is this all there is” at level 70. I agree with you about the sudden lack of individual content at level 70. The player who posted how the sunwell quests have given his main new life; made a comment that I can certainly relate to. It does seem like Blizz played a dirty trick on us at level 70.
I don’t know how to answer the question about casual raiding. I have avoided going back to raiding, because I have not found it to be a fun experience. My guild once was in Kara for nine hours on and off for one Saturday. Needless, to say it was not fun and was like a job. Especially when it turned into an endless blame fest….
Just two thoughts while we are all seeking balance with raiding. Pvp does provide gear upgrades and the pace is fast and not as demandingm of your schedule. Also an unguilded alt is a guilty pleasure and helps you to remember what was fun about WoW in the first place.

Don’t be there. It’s not for you.

It’s certainly not for me. That’s why I’m not there…

The guild is lucky to have someone like that. Especially with a guild that is otherwise disorganized, confused and has issues with keeping reliable people around.