Edit for those that haven’t read comments recently… there are big updates below in the comments. Don’t pass them up, I still can’t believe it. OMFG!!! 

I apologise for the horrible post title.

But it seems so very, very appropriate.

I posted my little recap of last night’s gaming, and then went on out into the World… of Warcraft to catch up on news.

Why look! At WoW Insider, my favorite column is up… Guildwatch. Let’s just see what’s up…

Hmm, okay not much happening there…

Oh lookie, there is a mention of a badly done Guild Application by a young mage. Doesn’t sound like much potential for humor, as a former Officer I’ve seen some doozies in my time. Poor grammer is only funny up to a point.

As an aside, haven’t seen that kind of idiocy in Sidhe Devils thankfully, nothing but gold in the apps we’ve gotten. Don’t ask me why, I think no one besides you guys has noticed we started a guild. And the asshats obviously see the ‘we aren’t a progression guild, we won’t gear you for no effort here, we just try and have fun and put Real Life first, no srsly we mean it’ Guild Charter and move on…..

But what the hey. Let’s go check out the application… how bad can it be?

Oh. Oh my.

I’m going to post it here in an effort to preserve it in case of future deletion of that thread.

Vulc 70 mage

1. Tell about yourself. Who are you? Where are you from? How old are you? You are working or attending school? im steven also known as vulc, ima outgoing like to have fun and play wow. very interesd in joining i love to raid and want to get into it alot more. and from what ive seen… ur an amazing guild

2. Tell us about your computer and internet connection. my computer is decdent, have to restart it now in then working on investing a new case and cooling station… my pc overheat’s, connection is very good

3. Tell us about your character. Guild, days played, spec., etc. Specifically…what guild did you come from, why are you leaving, why did they fail, how far did you progress? well i just joined celtic rage, herd about it from a friend, they stunk it up in tk 1st night i was in there. ive got over 110 day’s played and my gear is decent mostly made gear. 1093+ fire dmg

4. When are you available? Can you play during the day? Every night? mostly every night, from 5-11

5. What gear do you currently have/use? What resist gear do you have? Armory LINK is madatory. http://www.wowarmory.com/character-shee … orn&n=Vulc

6. Why do you want to join Paranoid? How did you hear about us? im pretty good friends with lof and i wana get geard before i go into litch king. i like to be around people that are good and serous at end game i was back in the day.. not the best but 8/8 t1 3/8 t2

7. How much gold do you have? How about consumables? not much trying to pay for a new trinket ( alchamist stone).

8. Do you understand what DKP is and how it works? Yes depending on the guild

9. Are you willing to abide by our rules, at all times, if we accept you? Yes i will

10. What do you consider YOUR role to be in the endgame? To dps as hard as i can and help the guild kill bosses. and progress as much as i can

Okay. Okay, that’s pretty funny. Why? What do you mean, why do I think that’s funny?

Well, okay, let me break it down just a bit. No big analysis, I mean this guy would never in a million years be considered for Sidhe Devils, call me an elitist prick all you want, that’s just the way it is. But I’ll go over what I think are the high points.

It is clear to me from his spelling and phrasing that he gave no thought whatsoever towards making a good impression with the people he is asking to join. The key phrase there is no thought. Do I want a thoughtless person, someone that does not even for a second remotely consider the point of view of other players, their opinions or thoughts or concerns, in my guild? Hell no. This guy is what you get if you are desperate for more bodies to fill a 25 man raid… and even then, I think 25 mans deserve much better than this. Let me change that to a 40 man. If you were desperate to fill an old-school 40 man, this was your guy. You know he’s only there for the loot, but while he’s there at least you’re getting some DPS in the raid.

Now, I could mention his line about “wanting to get geared before WotLK comes out” for why he wants to join, but hey, I’ll give him points for being honest about wanting to join a progression guild for phat lootz. That’s what he wants, that’s why he’s applying. Give him the phat lootz, and no one gets hurt.

I also have to give him points for saying, even inadvertantly, that his computer is decadent. I know it was a typo on his part, and he meant decent… but I now want a decadent computer. Somehow, I don’t think you get those at Dell.

He loses a lot of points for answering the question about gold and consumables, a question I see as being on the app form as a way to find out of a raider is willing to provide his own raid mats and consumables, by answering ‘not much’ and talking about the crafted alchemy trinket he is trying to save up mats for.

Let’s be serious… The guy claims to have a 70 mage and plays 6 hours a night, EVERY night. He says he’s broke.

I know a lot of people, through their choice of Professions, have a hard time making gold in the game. Our friends at WoWJones even have a blog because of the interest. But the guy is an Alchemist. Gee, do I know any other Alchemists at level 70? Lemme think about that one for a second….

Cassieann plays her main and several alts, on an intermittant schedule, and thanks to her effort and her Alchemy Profession she has bought her own Epic Flying Skill, Windstar’s Epic Flying Skill, she made within days of getting the rep both her Alchemist Stone and the Assassin’s Alchemist Stone, and even then provides ME with raid mats half the time and has, in her words, already saved up enough gold to by my fricken Priest HER Epic Flying Skill. Broke my ass. Hey, punk, if you are playing 6 hours a night five nights a week, go do some dailies and actually make some pots to put on the AH. Maybe farm primals and make some Primal Mights on your Transmute. In three days you can have your trinket. Lazy bum.

Still, we’re nit picking here. From what I’ve pointed out alone, the app is not too bad. But the cream, the uber goodness that shines out, is this little snippet…

well i just joined celtic rage, herd about it from a friend, they stunk it up in tk 1st night i was in there.

Wait, wait, wait a minute!

So, you are applying to join a progression guild, and you are telling me you JUST joined another guild that actually took your ass into Tempest Keep, and you are taking the time in your application to bad mouth THEM instead of telling me specifically about YOU.

Epic Fail.

Now, yeah, it’s a train wreck of an application. If this is your application… well, I’m sorry, but you’re only 16. You WILL get older. Hopefully, you will also grow in maturity. I guarantee, this can either be a learning experience for you, or another way to feel like a victim. At this point in the reading, I am thinking, “He sounds like a typical self-entitled asshat. But the poor kid is right at that age, he might be a good kid at heart and has absolutely no idea how this comes across. I’m glad I’m not that age anymore. Damn I was stupid at that age. Wow, am I still that stupid? Naaahh… Cassie woulda killed me by now.”

Oh…. but wait. It gets better. I read further down the application, to read some replies… and come to a reply made by Hickyfat, apparently the guild leader of Celtic Rage, who surprisingly enough had a little something to say about how Vulc characterized the Tempest Keep run…

Whats up guys,
Vulc recently joined Celtic Rage and has recently been removed. He did attend TK with us on our first night there and yes, we definitely did not do as well as we could have done. However, in the few raids he did make it to his DPS was less than impressive (Mages with less “stats” and gear were able to out dps him somehow). After seeing his performance, I offered up some suggestions. 1) Regem your green gems and get rid of that, dare i say, +8 resilience gem. His response - I don’t want to spend money for better gems when I am going to upgrade my gear soon (not what I was looking to hear). 2) Switch specs and try one deep in fire (10/48/3) was the one I suggested. His response - I’ve played a mage for two years and I’m not gonna take advice from a warrior. While it’s true I don’t play a mage or even another class other than a warrior tank, I do read about other classes and what is most “raid viable.” I don’t need to play a mage to know that a resilience gem has no business in any gem slot. As a raid leader I want to make sure that all 25 people are pumping out as much tps, dps, and hps as possible and if they are not doing so, try to help. Vulc was not open to change to help the raid and acted like a pompous tithead. Hence - hickyfat had to drop the hickyboot. Peace fellas - Good luck w/ Felmyst. Any questions hit me up in game.

BOOM! Solid Win. That, right there, tells me as an officer everything I really wanted to know. Do I have to explain how many ways Hickyfat just laid to rest any thought I might have had about taking this mage into my guild? Even if it wasn’t about progression, the close-mindedness alone… no, I didn’t think so.

But wait! Let’s not be too hasty! This might just be some self-serving character assassination by Hickyfat, right? Just because the guy says something, doesn’t make it so. Screenshot or it didn’t happen, right guys?

Well… let’s take a look and see how Vulc responded to Hickyfats’ allegations of prior conduct.

Warning: The following is NOT safe for gentle eyes that dislike profanity. I found it hilarious, however.

Vulc said;

yo kno hicky im not the a pompas fucking prick who picks ona mage whos is doing #2 dps in ur raid and is 16 go get a mothetfucking life u prick and also if ur guna fuck around with my game play ur guna have a fucking suprize waiting around the corner u prick

mmmMMMMmmm…. now that is just great, isn’t it? All worry I had that I was being a little harsh in my analysis of his application are simply blown clean away.

Oh, and I have to say… I love the implication there at the end that Hickyfat is gonna find a surprise waiting for him ‘just around the corner’ so to speak. Wait, is Vulc going to lie in wait and ambush poor Hickyfat? Oh noooeeesssss!!!!!11!

There are 7 more pages of this, and I don’t even know if I want to read any further. The drama is so perfect right now, and reading further may spoil it.

But just…. wow. WOW.

God, I love Guildwatch.

Edit:

Okay, I read further… it doesn’t dissappoint. I will add one new quote, from another memeber of Celtic Rage, who sound like good guys, actually. This noe really does say it all…

Oh… Couldn’t resist the opportunity to throw my 2 cp’s here… Yes, Vulc’s unwillingness to take constructive criticism after 3 days in the guild was a concern for us and he was on the ‘keep an eye on’ list… But just to let anyone who’s thinking of inviting this gem of a mage know…

As we entered TK for the first time his question: “Uh, what are the other mages in here wearing? I’m pretty undergeared, are they going to be able to roll on stuff before me when it would be a bigger upgrade for me?” Sent alarm bells crashing through my head.

Ultimately the clincher for his short-lived membership in Celtic Rage was the hissy fit he threw in guild chat last night because he’d “been in the guild for 3 WHOLE DAYS” and hadn’t been able to raid. Which would make his second hissy fit (in 3 WHOLE DAYS, mind you) the first was when he was not invited to join us in SSC as he was not yet geared and spec’d for the instance (first night in the dungeon, our first kill on Lurker - not your level I know, but we felt good about it ).

tl;dr: We don’t have green chat drama in CR. We weren’t interested in him spewing his indignant, mis-informed crap whenever he didn’t get his way.

As to second on the meter… *cough*bullshit*cough*

Not that Paranoid’s seasoned recruiting team couldn’t see his 10 spell hit for what he is…

Quote of the day:
Deloessian: I’m looking at your armory. I’m seeing a number of glaring problems, and I’m a rogue…
Deloessian: Your spell hit is at 10? What’s the mage hit cap Vulc?
Vulc: My what?
Deloessian: The hit cap… Rogue hit cap is 363 with precision… What’s the mage hit cap?
Vulc: Hit doesn’t matter, I’ve got good crit.
Deloessian: …

lol.

Yes. We sure are hot for progression in the ol’ Sidhe Devils guild, aren’t we?

Oh yeah, we’re hot… you can have your Gruul’s Lair, your Karazhan and your BT. Sunwell Plateau? Noobsauce.

Heroic Underbog is where it’s at, baby!

…… someone that takes this game way too seriously just had a stroke, somewhere.

Okay, all joking aside, I’m quite proud of Sidhe Devils. We had what I consider our first Heroic run as a guild, and we cleared the place out.

Last week we took on Heroic Sethekk Halls for Nasirah’s Swift Flight Form, but it wasn’t really an instance run in my eyes. We originally planned on being sneaky, bypassing everything we could, and just getting to Anzu to get the quest complete.

Along the way, we fought a whole lot more than we expected we would, and in the end we ran out of time and couldn’t finish off the last boss. I got the bird mount (yay! still stoked) and Nasirah got her Swift Birdie, but it wasn’t a planned instance clear.

Last night, we had planned ahead of time to form up at 7 PM and go in to clear Heroic Underbog to the end, and that’s what we did.

The original plan was for Cassieann and I, and Nasirah and Squirrelz (her hubby), and Daxe to go in. Three Druids, one Rogue and a Hunter.

Dax got wife aggro, so naturally he couldn’t go, but we did have a pretty fresh Tree Druid, Dionket, that was happy to go. His gear wasn’t maxed out, but he was willing, so what the heck? And he did a great job on heals, and freed Nasirah up to do a tno of booming, so that was cool. We all went on in and had a great time.

Nasirah called us Team Sneaky in chat, and we certainly had the capability to stealth, but as some folks could use the rep we just cleared like normal.

Let me tell you, having multiple Hibernates, a Sap and two tanks that can swap into DPS on the fly makes for a pretty fun run. Almost too many options per pull, to be honest. The temptation on every pull to try something different just because we could was hard to resist.

I somehow managed to keep myself from asking Nasirah and Dionket and Squirrelz from chain-Cycloning one with me just to see if diminishing returns from Cyclone applied to Cyclones from different casters. I think it does, but we can play with Cyclone some other time.

The last boss, the Black Stalker, caused us some problems, I’ll admit. The many adds, and the amount of pure magic damage proved to be our achilles heel. We wiped twice before we got into a groove, and finally just focused on positioning and burning the thing down and ignoring the adds, just eating the damage, and three of the group went down anyway before we got him dead.

Laughingly, it seemed like we struck the loot pinata when we checked the body, because the boss gave us two Trinkets (including the Argussian Compass), an epic Mail piece nobody could use, a Primal Nether, a Badge, an epic Gem, AND an Ace of Lunacy.

End result, we set a goal, we gathered together, we accomplished the goal. We encountered adversity along the way and overcame it. We tried different things on the pulls to feel our way into what we liked, and found our ‘comfort level’ on the pulls.

My favorite technique on the Naga pulls had to be to have Cassie Sap one of the caster/healers, while I targeted some of the guys for tanking and Squirrelz tanked the others. Then we just burnt down in order, nice and fun. One tank didn’t get overwhelmed by mobs, Dionket didn’t have to work extra hard keeping one tank alive against high spike damage but just keep two going on medium damage, and everything worked out fine.

On the trash rays on the way to the hunter/bear boss, the ones that can’t be Hibernated and that have their Psychic Scream fear effect, Squirrelz and I would each pick a target, then stood side by side and tanked our main targets while overlapping Swipe. If one of us got feared, the other generally stayed put and kept aggro on the whole bunch so the casters didn’t get eaten. I can only recall one time that we both got feared at the same time, and we picked ‘em up again fast.

Just… fun. I like trying new things, even if i get clumsy while doing it.

So… I know we’re planning on doing Heroic Slave Pens next, since Nasirah has the Daily Quest for it on her books. I’m thinking that, again, with so many humanoids to Sap, and plentiful Hibernates, and two tanks, I’m not seeing any potential chokepoints. In fact, I expect it to be laughably easy.

I want to throw it open to you guys, though. We are Team Sneaky!

Give us your suggestions on Heroics that can be stealthed, and we will take them on!