Edit for those that haven’t read comments recently… there are big updates below in the comments. Don’t pass them up, I still can’t believe it. OMFG!!! 

I apologise for the horrible post title.

But it seems so very, very appropriate.

I posted my little recap of last night’s gaming, and then went on out into the World… of Warcraft to catch up on news.

Why look! At WoW Insider, my favorite column is up… Guildwatch. Let’s just see what’s up…

Hmm, okay not much happening there…

Oh lookie, there is a mention of a badly done Guild Application by a young mage. Doesn’t sound like much potential for humor, as a former Officer I’ve seen some doozies in my time. Poor grammer is only funny up to a point.

As an aside, haven’t seen that kind of idiocy in Sidhe Devils thankfully, nothing but gold in the apps we’ve gotten. Don’t ask me why, I think no one besides you guys has noticed we started a guild. And the asshats obviously see the ‘we aren’t a progression guild, we won’t gear you for no effort here, we just try and have fun and put Real Life first, no srsly we mean it’ Guild Charter and move on…..

But what the hey. Let’s go check out the application… how bad can it be?

Oh. Oh my.

I’m going to post it here in an effort to preserve it in case of future deletion of that thread.

Vulc 70 mage

1. Tell about yourself. Who are you? Where are you from? How old are you? You are working or attending school? im steven also known as vulc, ima outgoing like to have fun and play wow. very interesd in joining i love to raid and want to get into it alot more. and from what ive seen… ur an amazing guild

2. Tell us about your computer and internet connection. my computer is decdent, have to restart it now in then working on investing a new case and cooling station… my pc overheat’s, connection is very good

3. Tell us about your character. Guild, days played, spec., etc. Specifically…what guild did you come from, why are you leaving, why did they fail, how far did you progress? well i just joined celtic rage, herd about it from a friend, they stunk it up in tk 1st night i was in there. ive got over 110 day’s played and my gear is decent mostly made gear. 1093+ fire dmg

4. When are you available? Can you play during the day? Every night? mostly every night, from 5-11

5. What gear do you currently have/use? What resist gear do you have? Armory LINK is madatory. http://www.wowarmory.com/character-shee … orn&n=Vulc

6. Why do you want to join Paranoid? How did you hear about us? im pretty good friends with lof :P and i wana get geard before i go into litch king. i like to be around people that are good and serous at end game i was back in the day.. not the best but 8/8 t1 3/8 t2

7. How much gold do you have? How about consumables? not much trying to pay for a new trinket ( alchamist stone).

8. Do you understand what DKP is and how it works? Yes depending on the guild

9. Are you willing to abide by our rules, at all times, if we accept you? Yes i will

10. What do you consider YOUR role to be in the endgame? To dps as hard as i can and help the guild kill bosses. and progress as much as i can

Okay. Okay, that’s pretty funny. Why? What do you mean, why do I think that’s funny?

Well, okay, let me break it down just a bit. No big analysis, I mean this guy would never in a million years be considered for Sidhe Devils, call me an elitist prick all you want, that’s just the way it is. But I’ll go over what I think are the high points.

It is clear to me from his spelling and phrasing that he gave no thought whatsoever towards making a good impression with the people he is asking to join. The key phrase there is no thought. Do I want a thoughtless person, someone that does not even for a second remotely consider the point of view of other players, their opinions or thoughts or concerns, in my guild? Hell no. This guy is what you get if you are desperate for more bodies to fill a 25 man raid… and even then, I think 25 mans deserve much better than this. Let me change that to a 40 man. If you were desperate to fill an old-school 40 man, this was your guy. You know he’s only there for the loot, but while he’s there at least you’re getting some DPS in the raid.

Now, I could mention his line about “wanting to get geared before WotLK comes out” for why he wants to join, but hey, I’ll give him points for being honest about wanting to join a progression guild for phat lootz. That’s what he wants, that’s why he’s applying. Give him the phat lootz, and no one gets hurt.

I also have to give him points for saying, even inadvertantly, that his computer is decadent. I know it was a typo on his part, and he meant decent… but I now want a decadent computer. Somehow, I don’t think you get those at Dell.

He loses a lot of points for answering the question about gold and consumables, a question I see as being on the app form as a way to find out of a raider is willing to provide his own raid mats and consumables, by answering ‘not much’ and talking about the crafted alchemy trinket he is trying to save up mats for.

Let’s be serious… The guy claims to have a 70 mage and plays 6 hours a night, EVERY night. He says he’s broke.

I know a lot of people, through their choice of Professions, have a hard time making gold in the game. Our friends at WoWJones even have a blog because of the interest. But the guy is an Alchemist. Gee, do I know any other Alchemists at level 70? Lemme think about that one for a second….

Cassieann plays her main and several alts, on an intermittant schedule, and thanks to her effort and her Alchemy Profession she has bought her own Epic Flying Skill, Windstar’s Epic Flying Skill, she made within days of getting the rep both her Alchemist Stone and the Assassin’s Alchemist Stone, and even then provides ME with raid mats half the time and has, in her words, already saved up enough gold to by my fricken Priest HER Epic Flying Skill. Broke my ass. Hey, punk, if you are playing 6 hours a night five nights a week, go do some dailies and actually make some pots to put on the AH. Maybe farm primals and make some Primal Mights on your Transmute. In three days you can have your trinket. Lazy bum.

Still, we’re nit picking here. From what I’ve pointed out alone, the app is not too bad. But the cream, the uber goodness that shines out, is this little snippet…

well i just joined celtic rage, herd about it from a friend, they stunk it up in tk 1st night i was in there.

Wait, wait, wait a minute!

So, you are applying to join a progression guild, and you are telling me you JUST joined another guild that actually took your ass into Tempest Keep, and you are taking the time in your application to bad mouth THEM instead of telling me specifically about YOU.

Epic Fail.

Now, yeah, it’s a train wreck of an application. If this is your application… well, I’m sorry, but you’re only 16. You WILL get older. Hopefully, you will also grow in maturity. I guarantee, this can either be a learning experience for you, or another way to feel like a victim. At this point in the reading, I am thinking, “He sounds like a typical self-entitled asshat. But the poor kid is right at that age, he might be a good kid at heart and has absolutely no idea how this comes across. I’m glad I’m not that age anymore. Damn I was stupid at that age. Wow, am I still that stupid? Naaahh… Cassie woulda killed me by now.”

Oh…. but wait. It gets better. I read further down the application, to read some replies… and come to a reply made by Hickyfat, apparently the guild leader of Celtic Rage, who surprisingly enough had a little something to say about how Vulc characterized the Tempest Keep run…

Whats up guys,
Vulc recently joined Celtic Rage and has recently been removed. He did attend TK with us on our first night there and yes, we definitely did not do as well as we could have done. However, in the few raids he did make it to his DPS was less than impressive (Mages with less “stats” and gear were able to out dps him somehow). After seeing his performance, I offered up some suggestions. 1) Regem your green gems and get rid of that, dare i say, +8 resilience gem. His response – I don’t want to spend money for better gems when I am going to upgrade my gear soon (not what I was looking to hear). 2) Switch specs and try one deep in fire (10/48/3) was the one I suggested. His response – I’ve played a mage for two years and I’m not gonna take advice from a warrior. While it’s true I don’t play a mage or even another class other than a warrior tank, I do read about other classes and what is most “raid viable.” I don’t need to play a mage to know that a resilience gem has no business in any gem slot. As a raid leader I want to make sure that all 25 people are pumping out as much tps, dps, and hps as possible and if they are not doing so, try to help. Vulc was not open to change to help the raid and acted like a pompous tithead. Hence – hickyfat had to drop the hickyboot. Peace fellas – Good luck w/ Felmyst. Any questions hit me up in game.

BOOM! Solid Win. That, right there, tells me as an officer everything I really wanted to know. Do I have to explain how many ways Hickyfat just laid to rest any thought I might have had about taking this mage into my guild? Even if it wasn’t about progression, the close-mindedness alone… no, I didn’t think so.

But wait! Let’s not be too hasty! This might just be some self-serving character assassination by Hickyfat, right? Just because the guy says something, doesn’t make it so. Screenshot or it didn’t happen, right guys?

Well… let’s take a look and see how Vulc responded to Hickyfats’ allegations of prior conduct.

Warning: The following is NOT safe for gentle eyes that dislike profanity. I found it hilarious, however.

Vulc said;

yo kno hicky im not the a pompas fucking prick who picks ona mage whos is doing #2 dps in ur raid and is 16 go get a mothetfucking life u prick and also if ur guna fuck around with my game play ur guna have a fucking suprize waiting around the corner u prick

mmmMMMMmmm…. now that is just great, isn’t it? All worry I had that I was being a little harsh in my analysis of his application are simply blown clean away.

Oh, and I have to say… I love the implication there at the end that Hickyfat is gonna find a surprise waiting for him ‘just around the corner’ so to speak. Wait, is Vulc going to lie in wait and ambush poor Hickyfat? Oh noooeeesssss!!!!!11!

There are 7 more pages of this, and I don’t even know if I want to read any further. The drama is so perfect right now, and reading further may spoil it.

But just…. wow. WOW.

God, I love Guildwatch.

Edit:

Okay, I read further… it doesn’t dissappoint. I will add one new quote, from another memeber of Celtic Rage, who sound like good guys, actually. This noe really does say it all…

Oh… Couldn’t resist the opportunity to throw my 2 cp’s here… Yes, Vulc’s unwillingness to take constructive criticism after 3 days in the guild was a concern for us and he was on the ‘keep an eye on’ list… But just to let anyone who’s thinking of inviting this gem of a mage know…

As we entered TK for the first time his question: “Uh, what are the other mages in here wearing? I’m pretty undergeared, are they going to be able to roll on stuff before me when it would be a bigger upgrade for me?” Sent alarm bells crashing through my head.

Ultimately the clincher for his short-lived membership in Celtic Rage was the hissy fit he threw in guild chat last night because he’d “been in the guild for 3 WHOLE DAYS” and hadn’t been able to raid. Which would make his second hissy fit (in 3 WHOLE DAYS, mind you) the first was when he was not invited to join us in SSC as he was not yet geared and spec’d for the instance (first night in the dungeon, our first kill on Lurker – not your level I know, but we felt good about it :D ).

tl;dr: We don’t have green chat drama in CR. We weren’t interested in him spewing his indignant, mis-informed crap whenever he didn’t get his way.

As to second on the meter… *cough*bullshit*cough*

Not that Paranoid’s seasoned recruiting team couldn’t see his 10 spell hit for what he is…

Quote of the day:
Deloessian: I’m looking at your armory. I’m seeing a number of glaring problems, and I’m a rogue…
Deloessian: Your spell hit is at 10? What’s the mage hit cap Vulc?
Vulc: My what?
Deloessian: The hit cap… Rogue hit cap is 363 with precision… What’s the mage hit cap?
Vulc: Hit doesn’t matter, I’ve got good crit.
Deloessian: …

61 Responses to “Omigawd! App drama ftw!11!!!”
  1. Kestra says:

    @Holywarrior Never mind, you dont need hit if you have high crit…duh!

    ;)

  2. Heather says:

    If you got to 70 way back, soon after BC came out, the hit stuff was all new. No one was sure about it at first. But these days, over a YEAR after all of that? Yeah, the benefits of hit, the requirement for it for PVE content, is all over the place if you do any research at all about your class at all, even just asking other people in game who do well at PVE.

  3. Tuna says:

    @HolyWarrior

    Fire Mages: 164
    Frost Mages: 126
    Arcane Mages: 76

  4. Iceclaw says:

    Whaaaaaaahahahahhahaha!

    “Hit doesn’t matter. I’ve got good crit.”

    WhaaaaaaaaaaHAHAHAHAHA!!

  5. Iceclaw says:

    Also, what that 15 guilds in one year? I’ve been in 2 in 3 years.

  6. barstool says:

    I generally solo. My wife and I play together at a very leisurely pace. I have joined and quit 20 or more guilds in less than a year. Why you ask? Well its like this everytime I am in a major city someone asks me to sign the charter. I do then after the guild is formed I stick around a week or less to see if its a good one then I drop. Since I am high level and new guilds are mostly lowbees I leave when the “PL me” stuff starts.

  7. Zarky says:

    I liked Caladore’s post correcting his app. not surprised that he took his app back. I think he’s now on everyone’s DO NOT WANT list. lol

  8. Hoochiemami says:

    I am a member of paranoid… We just finished running KZ… He wanted a spot pretty bad. I put the convo up on our website :D

    Isn’t this just marvelous?

  9. Manti says:

    And he apped again to adamant… this time with his new name… is he retard or what?
    http://adamantguild.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=86803&ForumID=599604&TabID=746532&TopicID=6875479

  10. Deloessian says:

    Wow – this sucker’s got legs!!! Glad you all enjoyed it so… And thanks B3 for the “sound like good guys” comment. *blush* We try… Even us girls. =D Well, Hicky’s not a girl. Ok, that may be up for debate. Er – either way, a VERY entertaining post and accurate analysis, I might add. =)

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