Comments on: PBeM: Lauchlin Part 5 http://thebigbearbutt.com/2008/06/27/pbem-lauchlin-part-5/ Feral Druids in World of Warcraft Tue, 21 May 2013 01:39:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 By: Mannyac http://thebigbearbutt.com/2008/06/27/pbem-lauchlin-part-5/comment-page-1/#comment-7356 Mannyac Mon, 30 Jun 2008 13:35:59 +0000 http://thebigbearbutt.com/2008/06/27/pbem-lauchlin-part-5/#comment-7356 ok ok

]]> By: bigbearbutt http://thebigbearbutt.com/2008/06/27/pbem-lauchlin-part-5/comment-page-1/#comment-7347 bigbearbutt Mon, 30 Jun 2008 12:08:19 +0000 http://thebigbearbutt.com/2008/06/27/pbem-lauchlin-part-5/#comment-7347 Manny, if you wanted to do that, that would be cool… but be warned, if you do fix stuff, it may inspire me to fix some of that insanely long exposition… you know the section I mean.

]]> By: Mannyac http://thebigbearbutt.com/2008/06/27/pbem-lauchlin-part-5/comment-page-1/#comment-7333 Mannyac Sun, 29 Jun 2008 17:05:14 +0000 http://thebigbearbutt.com/2008/06/27/pbem-lauchlin-part-5/#comment-7333 Since I have all of the turns (story) on file, I might have some time this weekend to go thru my copy and clean up the tenses (if you’d like). If I do, I will send you the file before next Thursday. Let me know if you want me to go ahead and edit…

]]> By: twww http://thebigbearbutt.com/2008/06/27/pbem-lauchlin-part-5/comment-page-1/#comment-7320 twww Sat, 28 Jun 2008 11:49:20 +0000 http://thebigbearbutt.com/2008/06/27/pbem-lauchlin-part-5/#comment-7320 I’m welll and truly hooked now.

As stated above, the shifting tenses are awkward but knowing that it came from a GM “narrating” and a player RPing makes it easy for me to ignore. Don’t be too hard on yourself over it.

]]> By: Hulan http://thebigbearbutt.com/2008/06/27/pbem-lauchlin-part-5/comment-page-1/#comment-7313 Hulan Fri, 27 Jun 2008 22:47:07 +0000 http://thebigbearbutt.com/2008/06/27/pbem-lauchlin-part-5/#comment-7313 I really enjoyed the unexpected turn of events :) As you say, writing-wise the one thing that jarred a little was the changing tense. Is that because it all started as RP so you’re acting out things as they happen? It’s still a dmn good story though!

]]> By: Mosshoof http://thebigbearbutt.com/2008/06/27/pbem-lauchlin-part-5/comment-page-1/#comment-7312 Mosshoof Fri, 27 Jun 2008 20:07:28 +0000 http://thebigbearbutt.com/2008/06/27/pbem-lauchlin-part-5/#comment-7312 Other than the awkward tense shifts, I would not say that your writing “sucked”. You’ve got *story*, and distinct characters, and you’ve got me wanting to know what comes next.

I’ll just bring the bard another ale, and settle in for the next installment.

]]> By: bigbearbutt http://thebigbearbutt.com/2008/06/27/pbem-lauchlin-part-5/comment-page-1/#comment-7310 bigbearbutt Fri, 27 Jun 2008 16:31:28 +0000 http://thebigbearbutt.com/2008/06/27/pbem-lauchlin-part-5/#comment-7310 The one thing I’m noticing here, as I read through the sectins before I post them, is taht back then I had a much greater difficulty in tenses, and that when we were doing live dialogue for the elf/Lauchlin/Launa segment and I told Manny “You see…”, a lot of that change in third person to first person viewpoint stayed in when I finished the turn.

Well, as I said… my writing skill SUCKED. Not that it’s gotten that much better, but hopefully I’ve learned to avoid this kind of stuff going forward.

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