Longtime readers will remember my friend Manny, whom for some strange reason I started calling the Mannyac… might have been that I missed him, and couldn’t annoy him in person anymore.

Anyway, he sent me another one… and I had to share it. It really… this story, like all of his others, really touched me. Deeply. At the end of it, I was so touched I was nearly in tears.

I hope that this story means as much to you as it does to me.

THIS IS AN INCREDIBLE STORY

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down.

The elephant did that several times, then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure.

He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn’t the same fucking elephant.

This is for everyone who sends me those heart warming bullshit stories.

Ahhh… Manny, you know how to really reach my emotions, man. I’ll carry that story, and the lessons it teaches, for a very long time. Peace.

16 Responses to “From the Mannyac… An Incredible Story”
  1. cactarabh says:

    Brilliant, absolutely perfect metaphor for liberal western sensibilities

  2. Falromord says:

    Epic win BBB and yes I shall carry that lovely tale with me also.

  3. Megalis says:

    Best effing story ever. Thanks for sharing!

  4. Elton says:

    I love it

  5. Mannyac says:

    I’m glad you liked it.

  6. Teri says:

    LMAO Best story ever

  7. eresin says:

    Hahahah, excellent :-)

  8. brownjohn says:

    OMFG that was an amazing story. I laughed so hard at this that my side hurts now. It was totally worth it.

  9. Bluetiger says:

    *lol* A couple of months ago me two other friends got a typical “heartwarming bullshit story” about how it’s best to love now and not wait and all that jazz. For one of my friends that was the cherry on the icing on the cake. She flipped, made a copy of the mail and wrote out exactly what she thought about all that bullshit, to the point where we assumed she was about to rip our heads off for sending it to her. I think she’ll enjoy a link to this site today :)

  10. Roy says:

    Dude that’s so Wrong Right!

  11. Bullshizer says:

    Bravo!

  12. ech says:

    But Snopes says this is an Uran Legend.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    :-)

  13. Ialk says:

    Seriously full of win!

    I’ve forwarded your link to two people so far, and one of them has said he’s forwarding it. I apologize for the bandwidth increase in advance :-)

    -Ialk

  14. Yvelle says:

    My mother-in-law bombards us with those stupid mushy, mushy “heart warming” junk stories. I should return the favor and send her that one. :D

  15. Hazy says:

    I’m saving this one for later use:) Here’s the one I have (please excuse the messy C&P) :

    ” Hello, my name is Lewis and I suffer from the guilt of not
    > forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who
    > actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in
    > Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to
    > have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak
    > show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and
    > everyone to whom you send “his” email, $1000? How stupid are we? “Ooooh,
    > looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I’ll get laid by a
    > model I just happen to run into the next
    > day!” What a bunch of bullshit. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will
    > come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain
    > letter that was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by
    > midget pilgrims on the Mayflower. Fuck ‘em. If you’re going to forward
    > something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I’ve seen all the
    > “send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse
    > for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being”
    > forwards about 90 times. I don’t
    > fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you’re
    > actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it’s
    > our own unpopularity. The point being? If you get some chain letter that’s
    > threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life,
    > delete it. If it’s funny, send it on. Don’t piss people off by making them
    > feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with
    > no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years and
    > whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he’ll receive if you forward
    > this email.
    >
    > Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your
    > underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals. Have a nice
    > day. P.S. Send me 15 bucks “

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