I ain’t sung it yet, since I’m still busy… and Cassie swears if I sing again, she’ll show me the secret technique that helps male opera stars sing soprano. It has something to do with piano wire, and some latin word… prostrati? Castrati? Sounds like a new type of mochachino at Starbucks to me.

Anyway, I wrote this originally in fond remembrance of our first run at the new boss of Vault of Archavon. I hope you enjoy it.

To be sung to the tune of The Gambler, by Kenny Rogers, a man who knows some fried chicken. Hmmm, broasted!

The Raider

On a late summers evening, in a raid bound for Emalon,
We got the invites going out, with Wintergrasp in our reach
The leader ran the plan down, as we buffed up for the first go
He asked for any questions, before the tanks went in deep.

The tanks went in blazing, the healers started casting
The tempests went the wrong way; while the main tank stood and died
We barely saw the fight start, before the whole damn raid had blown up
As we regrouped and got buffed up, you could hear the laughter fade and die.

You got to know when to pull em, know when to taunt em,
Know when to call for heals and know when to Sheep.
You never loot no bosses when they’re waiting to be rezzed now.
There’ll be time enough for looting when the raids on their feet.

We put on our best game face; we set aside thoughts of laying blame
We stopped expecting easy epics, woke up and prepared to fight
And the vent got deathly quiet, and the leader sent the tanks in.
And you coulda heard a pin drop, when the raid all still wiped.

You got to know when to pull em, know when to taunt em,
Know when to call for heals and know when to Sheep.
You never loot no bosses when they’re waiting to be rezzed now.
There’ll be time enough for looting when the raids on their feet.

Now every raider knows that the secret to surviving
Is keeping under aggro; and powerful main tank heals.
cause every pulls a winner and every pulls a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is purple pixels for your gear.

Now when we finished wiping, the Wintergrasp timer went off
We’d spent too much time dying and the instance closed us out
Our leader started sobbing, and the guild all started bitching
The shock of real hard content, and nobody got T8!

You got to know when to pull em, know when to taunt em,
Know when to call for heals and know when to Sheep.
You never loot no bosses when they’re waiting to be rezzed now.
There’ll be time enough for looting when the raids on their feet.

Now taking offers for someone that can sound remarkably like Kenny Rogers to sing this one on mp3. I can get you the backing track, I’m sure. Why? ‘Cause I’m evil, of course. No other reason.

Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

8 Responses to “A new song! No, I’m not kidding!”
  1. Clioratha says:

    No singing, here, but I must say….well done!

  2. Battleangel says:

    ROFL!!!! wow, simply wow
    great job!!

    wish i could provide the vocals

  3. Kathrine says:

    Oooo I’m very excited to hear it all done with the music. Why don’t you sing it Bear? The chorus is already sticking in my head.

  4. Mannyac says:

    Katherine…NOOOOoooooo
    I’ve heard the Bear sing. I am so backing Cassie on this one.

  5. Kattrinsaa says:

    If only Kenny rogers played wow..

    And.. if anyone has forgotten BBB’s rendition of wreath of fire…. (JK bbb it wasn’t THAT bad… only half the neighborhood dogs howled at it. I can usually get all of em going when I sing)

    Maybe you could get DAX to do another one?

  6. Korso says:

    I’ve been singing this around the house since you posted it. Be expecting an irritated phone call from my grandmother :p Well done Bear!

  7. Rob says:

    This is fucking AWESOME!
    GJ

  8. Atheia says:

    lol… send me the background and I’ll send you the song… this is great

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