So, last night was rare white elk day, we actually had a scheduled raid.

It was a notable raid for many wonderful reasons.

First, the entire raid was tanked by two people; Suxtobundr, feral Druid… and by Lady Jess’ Paladin tank!

We did Obsidian Sanctum, Abomination wing of Naxx, and then Vault of Archavon…. and you know it’s gonna be a fun night when one of your tanks gets the “Emblem of Heroism” Achievement on the first drake kill in OS.

Grats, Jess! :)

Second was that the entire raid was healed entirely by Druids. Three trees leafing around in the backfield; Jardal, Faydre and Windshadow.

As Lady Jess said at the time, “I never would have imagined a year ago that someday I’d be in Bears’ guild, and I’d be tanking a raid while he healed it.”

Third, Elystia was back!

I’ve missed her terribly, it’s like having your sister move away. Ely and her hubby Cal have been moving to an entirely new home in Canada, and it’s been a long, hard time for them, living rough while renovations have been done. People move all the time, it’s true, and packing and moving and unpacking sucks… but let’s please have a moment’s quiet consideration for poor Ely and Cal, who had to live with Ely’s neo-luddite mother-in-law the whole time, a lady who thinks high technology is using a phone with buttons instead of a round dial. A wonderful woman by all accounts, but she just doesn’t understand that a person has needs… the kind of needs that only high speed internet can satisfy. She’s had no internet for months!

I’d crack. I’m not even remotely joking. I know I would, because in Pennsylvania when staying at a home that barely had electricity, I roamed the neighborhood looking for unsecured wireless networks to ninja, and spent time at the Public Library every day checking mail.

Oh yeah, it was also a notable raid in that we had the most disturbing vent conversation ever. We were recovering from a trash wipe (those pricks after Gluth, the ones with the knockback from heck, they suck when you’re not prepared to handle two of them at once and aren’t all the way in the room for the first knockback) and Penny Arcade’s latest post prompted a discussion that started with their list of phrases that aren’t dirty yet, but that they anticipate WILL be soon… and from there went on to discuss what a Dirty Sanchez is (and people ignored my advice to NOT look it up on the internet, did it anyway, and went eww… why do people not listen?) and then went all the way to discussing the aesthetic merits of Two Girls One Cup.

Warning; I swear to god, I will banhammer anyone in the comments that graphically describes, or links to, Two Girls One Cup. You’ve been warned. Just drop it. And no, if you don’t know what it is, you DO NOT, DO NOT want to look it up on Youtube.

No, really. Please. Just let it drop. Knowing what it is does not ‘enhance your cool’. In fact, I think I lost a gazillion cool points by knowing what it was… I blame listening to the hip hop radio morning show crew on the way to work. They talk about it on KDWB’s Dave Ryan Show all the time.

Who would have thought I’d end up regretting the day I stopped listening to political talk radio. At least Rush Limbaugh never talked about, or described, Two Girls One Cup.

Okay, anyway, moving past that (shudder)… we did not actually describe what it is, but just the thought of doing so was enough to send terror running freely, carrying scissors handle first, down the halls of vent. People typing in [sticks fingers in ears] lalalalalala and all the rest of it.

As far as the raid goes, I think we had a mostly wonderful time. We had some learning curves, which I think is understandable, but it was all learning the fights, we didn’t really have any gear check issues at any time.

You know when you’re fighting something, and you’re having trouble… you can feel the difference between struggling to win based on being undergeared, or struggling based on coordination and understanding of what to do. You might not be able to pin down who ain’t on the program, or exactly what is missing, but you know there was something that just wasn’t right.

As an example, our first shot at Grobbulus was pretty close, just a few slime add issues and a few bad Mutated Injection blooms… and our second attempt was pure running around like chickens with our heads cut off, blind panic.

You just step back and ask yourself, wtf did we do dere?

And then the third shot goes so smooth it’s damn near a record downing with nobody even mussed up.

That’s not gear, that’s poorly described fights and folks that are seeing things for the first time or working together for the first time. Whoops!

Another example is when we did Patchwerk, a fight that is generally a tank and healer gear check.

You might think, with Lady Jess main tanking Patchwerk, and having just earned her first Emblem of Heroism, that there were issues.

Nah. She was just fine. Neither tank ever went below 75% health for more than a millisecond.

Like I said, we had some fun, we fought our way in, had some interruptions but generally closed escrow.

And then we faced Thaddius. Ah, Thaddius.

I love that fight.

I also loved seeing Jess get tossed across the room over and over. That’s hilarious.

Anyway, I calmly described the entire fight, I walked through what we do for the two mini-bosses, the tossing, the threat pause after a toss, the keeping close to lightning generators, the 3 seconds you have after the mini-bosses die to jump off the back ledge and for the tank to engage the boss, the positions to stand for polarity shifts with Negative to the edge of the ledge in front of him, Positive to the vat behind him, running 10 yards apart counterclockwise around Thaddius like moons orbiting a planet to keep seperation, etc etc.

I was pretty pleased with myself. I think I covered it very well, and I felt the group exuding confidence.

We split into teams, and it was smooth as Babs.

Both bosses were DPSed at a nice, balanced rate, they died together, we gathered and jumped, Sux aggroed as the main tank perfectly on schedule, and I cat dashed to be right on his butt for insta-healing. Everyone hit the ledge, we were just nailing every phase. I felt so proud.

As Sux grabbed aggro and I dropped my first HoTs, Thaddius began casting Polarity Shift, and I prepared the raid for it, calling my reminder out over vent, “Polarity Shift in two seconds, Positive to the front, Negative to the rear, get ready!”

Ahem.

Oh, hell yes I did.

Some folks did what I told them to do during our preparation, and some folks did what I told them to do on vent at the time.

Raid go boom!

What’s funny is, I knew we were doomed as over half the raid went down, but I started the chain Battle Rezzes anyway. After all, you never know.

Well, yes, yes I did.

I, the Big Bear Butt, wiped the raid. And when I say wiped, I mean I am the annihilator, baby. Total and complete destruction.

I’d like to blame Cassie for standing over my shoulder distracting me… but she really had nothing whatsoever to do with it. The fact is, I simply let my mouth run on automatic pilot while my concentration was on positioning, wathcing main tank aggro and position, my position, who was alive and who made the jump, and all the other raid leader crap. Oh yeah, and casting heals.

My mouth apparently thinks we like to put the Positive charges on the edge. Who knew?

Brain was not involved at that moment in any way.

In fact, it took me a second or two for what I actually said to filter up into my brain, sink in, and kinda knock around for a moment, saying “Um, excuse me… you might want to run the instant replay on that one chief, I think there’s a flag on the play.”

On the plus side (sorry, sorry, can’t help it) we kicked his ass the second attempt… and then trashed Archavon and Lady Jess got to be lunged, grabbed and have her dwarf tanking butt tossed across the room. One of those moments that just make you glad you’re a tank.

So, a good time was had by all… I hope it was, anyway. I know I never mind the occasional wipe, I find the moments rather endearing.

If stuff is too damn easy, where’s the sense of accomplishment? The struggle makes victory taste all the sweeter.

Good job, everyone! It was a (ahem) blast!

20 Responses to “Raid jump down go boom!”
  1. Pete says:

    Lol, I know your pain. Paying attention to raid leading and gets distracting sometimes. But MT aggro shouldn’t be a healer’s problem, should it?

  2. Ratshag says:

    Go Go JessTank!

  3. clioratha says:

    As the assistant raid-lead for my husband (himself a bearbutt), I made a macro to /rw spam “Stalagg ——– Thaddius +++++++ Feugen” just to make sure we’re consistent on calling it out. We had some “left/right” confusion (left as you face Thaddius, or Thaddius’ left?) so I decided to go with miniboss names.

    Sounds like a fun night, though, wipes and all. Except maybe for that 2G1C thing. (I made the mistake of reading about it (never watched it, never gonna) so now I have neurons I’d rather just go ahead and excise because there’s no way I could ever make them clean again….)

  4. bigbearbutt says:

    You know Clioratha, that’s pretty much what the discussion was. Talking around the subject itself, shuddering in horror at the very existence of such a thing.

  5. Pete says:

    Everyone does it differently than I learned it, lol. I always did Positive left, Negative right, but I think that’s the algebra in my head talking.

  6. Kayeri says:

    ::giggling:: Oh, that would have been fun! Now, that is… it may not have been so funny last night. :) Our raid leader makes us run practice sessions before every single Thaddius fight… one person wears a skull to represent Thaddius, and we all run to the right-positive or the left-negative and then we have to run circles to make sure we know which way to run when the polarity changes… ::chuckle;:

  7. Shamagran says:

    FUN as HECK !!!

    And Watching Jess the Flying Dwarf was RICH!!!

    We all had a blast (No pun intended), and can’t wait to see the flying dwarf again. Such a spectacle.. lol

    That is why this is such a great group of people. Good, Bad, OOPSY’s, Triumph’s, and Great Drops. it’s all good.
    Much laughter, stories, comments, loose and happy. (And Yes, 3B, you DID say “DON’T GO LOOK THEM UP”.
    We learned from our Oopsy’s, laughed at ourselves, recovered, and CHARGED again. BONZAI !!!
    With Sux have what sounded like the Chain Saw Massacre guy in the ROOM with him, it started even MORE Fun.

    And since it is indeed a rare thing for 3B to go “Oh C..P, I goofed”.. You MUST MUST MUST relish them.. hehehehe

  8. Mal says:

    Out of lurk mode here, but there *was* a guild called “Two Gruuls, One Cup” – but I don’t think that name survived the Blizzard naming convention for too long. Otherwise, eye or brain bleach necessary after said exposure. Rinse, repeat? o.O?

    Thanks for the hint clioratha – I still have problems remembering which side I need to tank Tadd. /shakes tiny fist

  9. Rob says:

    That reference has got to be the low water mark of our society. Regardless (and no offense) if you didn’t want the subject mentioned, why bring it up?

    Anyway gratz on Naxx; my guild just started it again after two months (so basically starting from scratch), they did pretty well and got a hardmode achievement on the second boss in spider wing (the one w/ 4 adds). It was almost exactly the same situation, new tanks, new healers, new dps.

  10. Stratt says:

    Heh.. we have a macro like one below. We just always run around with Thaddius on your left. We had one guy always get mixed up that he even printed out this picture… and on raid day he got it wrong, realized after the fact that he placed the picture upside down in front of him. We laughed hard on that one.

  11. Kemonojin says:

    Last time I was at Thaddius, we did it with positive left as you faced him from the door, negative right, and run through, not around. Rarely any problems, and usually from one of a few people with known connection problems leaving them disconnected but still in the fight.

    Always made sure to drop a kaboom trap whenever I had to scoot. My biggest problem is managing to get both me and the devilsaur jumped. First time I was there I forgot, and he just stood on one of the platforms whimpering at me, second time I jumped him first with eyes of the beast and no trouble.

    I hate, hate, haet the DDR bozo… the damage isn’t the same size as the splooge and I always get nailed, even if I’m even with the marked ‘stay with this person’ person.

  12. Teel says:

    Just a sugestion for Thadius, it sounds like you run around him… We used to do that. Using clioratha’s diagram as a similar guide we do things a little different. Pretending as if when you walk in the door and are facing him you could float up above his head and look directly down on him with out rotating your view we position the raid like this ——-X+++++ then when the polarity shift happens we run through him as needed… so it makes it easy on the tank he just takes a couple steps through Thadius and turns him, the raid if they need to switch sides has 5 seconds to run through him and group up with the existing positives or negatives on the other side without blowing up anyone… not running in a big circle around him cuts down on the travel time and max’s out the dps time, running through him is a good time to renew dots as well… then a quick jump with a 180 mouse spin and bam your melting faces again.

  13. Morphy of Zuljin says:

    BBB, thanks for the warning. I’d never heard of those terms before and curiousity got the best of me, but with your caution in mind I only resorted to wikipedia for a summary . . . /shudder Glad I didn’t have to watch it. Reading your adventures makes me wanna roll an ally on your server but I know you must have tons in your guild already. How many people are on the roster now?

  14. Dabien says:

    We’ve had a few similar experiences ourselves. When we get our heads in the game, nothing can keep us down, but we still have all the wipes that make the kill so much sweeter.

    We’ve only just cleared Naxx ourselves (Couple of weeks back) Due to time and RL issues with a lot of people in guild, but whenever we wipe on a boss a couple of times and call it quits, we always come back the next night and 1 shot the boss. Now we’ve got it to the stage where we managed to clear Naxx in 2 nights last week, and then went and 9 manned OS as we’d not ventured in there either. The feeling of a 1 shot on Sarth when it was most of our first times seeing him was fantastic. Even though to most players nowadays, Naxx is easymode loot and they’re raiding Ulduar 6 nights a week, the place feels fresh to me, and I think its definitely helped any boredom I might have gotten from already experiencing all the content. We’re the lucky ones.

  15. FayBB says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMLnDuzgkjo

    I just can’t get this out of my head now!

  16. Suxxy says:

    You know it’s a good run when doing the old VoA boss and the RL says “Sux, drop some agro so Jess is highest threat for the toss”. LOL Dwarf tossing as a international sport :)

    You didn’t mention the (what I described to my daughter at the time) “old fart’s discussion” in OS, while waiting for Jess’ BSOD reboot. I was under the weather (sick, not drunk) and my mind was taking tangents all over the place. Good to run with people from the same era.

  17. bigbearbutt says:

    Hehehe…. I just played that video, for Alex, Fay (for those nervous, Fay posted a link to Ram Jam’s “Black Betty”), and he put the headphones on, held them tight, and told me several times “Now this is MY kind of music!” and rocked out.

    What can I say? I’m blessed.

  18. Effondil says:

    Glad to hear you are looking after Faydre for us. Thank you on behalf of Silver Moon (Argent Dawn EU).

  19. Phaedra says:

    My “Two Girls, One Cup” knowledge comes from a video John Mayer made in parody. With ice cream. That was good enough for me.

    My guild uses a 45 degree angle seperation. The tank always stays in front. If you have the tank’s charge, you’re in front with the tank. If you have the opposite charge, you’re on Thad’s right shoulder (left of the tank). Easier to run. What’s fun is brezing. B/c someone either accepts it right away, killing the druid and themselves, or runs into battle right away, killing themselves again.

  20. Matojo says:

    Those runs sound like fun. Entries like this make me slowly shift toward changing my mind about not touching Naxx (and make me really miss OS and VoA).

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