I’ve been looking for fun in all the wrong places, looking for fun with too many alts, now, looking for fun….

Actually, I’ve just been messing around with some different stuff for a change.

Love my guild and I ain’t never leaving, but while the summer quietus goes on, and we have a slack schedule to accomodate the real life woes of guildies, I’ve started a few small alts on Horde side for quiet time, doing quests in lore I’ve never seen.

One of those alts, I’m happy to say, is a troll hunter.

“A Hunter?!?” I hear you say?

Yes, that’s right a troll hunter. Yes, yes, I do have a level 80 hunter on Alliance, what’s your point? I love hunters.

I have a lot of druid alts on various servers, placed strategically for optimum play opportunities when my home server goes down (a situation that hasn’t happened for some time), but never before, ever, have I had a troll.

I have rolled various horde alts and deleted them, one felt too slow, one felt too clumsy… but the Troll Hunter feels just right.

How do I define ‘just right’?

Simple. If I can be chatting on vent with folks, having fun, and grinding mobs without minding the leveling/killing at all, if killing poor unfortunate NPCs still feels fun and even amusing after kill #2796, then it’s a groovy toon.

So, anyway… I’ve got this level one Troll Huntard, sans any kind of Heirloom item whatsoever, and I’m going to town in Orcville, Durator, Republic of Thrall.

As I’m rocking along, smiting Orc peons and making them gather wood faster, I’m chatting with Breana on vent, and sharing with her my thoughts on making this toon.

Bear; “So, I wanted to make a Hunter, and various races sounded cool… a Tauren Hunter could be a lot of fun… but finally I settled on Troll.”

Breana; “I’m glad you didn’t make a Blood Elf Hunter.”

Bear; “Oh, I couldn’t do that. The Blood Elf Hunter is so passé. I mean, really, the entire race is anorexic.”

Breana; “I agree, they’re all too skinny.”

Bear; “You know, the fact is they all look like they could use a sandwich, they need some fattening up.”

Bear; “I know what I’ll do, I’ll make a macro that says /say %t, you’re too skinny, you look like you could use a sandwich.”

Breana; “You will not.”

Bear; “Bet me.”

So, whenever I’m in Ogrimmar, moving from Auction House to trainer to bank, etc, I keep my eyes peeled.

My standards are simple. If I see someone that is playing a Blood Elf, that is NOT a Paladin (since they have no choice), and that is female, I hit them with my macro as I pass.

I also carry food with me in my bags. If one stops and say “Wut?”, I open trade and offer them a “sandwich”. (Boar meat and bread).

I have gotten stunned silence, and one guy that thought it was the funniest thing he ever saw… and one guy, level 80 Hunter, that thanked me and took the sandwich fixin’s, and then did a /eats sandwich emote.

I’m finding it more fun to do this, than to actually play.

I think I’ve lost my mind.

32 Responses to “Yo man, you look like you could use a sandwich!”
  1. Elsi says:

    Why didn’t I think of this for myself? It’s Brilliant!!!!

  2. Kaitus says:

    That’s pure genius!

  3. Malphailuron says:

    Awesome!

    Creating your own fun in the game—it’s what the pro players do!

  4. Dechion says:

    I might have a pair of Draeni hunters at 70 and 80, and I might spend my time alliance side because thats where my friends choose to hang out, but my first main (and favorite overall toon – bar none) was my Troll Hunter.

    Just thinking about him makes me want to knock the cobwebs off and go run Kara again for old times sake.

    I might just have to dissapear Horde side once in a while myself =)

  5. Daenaira says:

    What, no sammies for the guys? They have 10% of their body weight in their ears . . .surely they could use some sustenance?

  6. Seleria says:

    Kind of reminds me of my favorite way of keeping Naxx 25 pugs running smoothly. After wiping on Noth one night repeatedly because people refused to decurse, I decided to entice people to do special tasks. So now I hand out cupcakes to the people with most decurses on Noth & Saph, most dispels on Heigan, most interrupts on KT.

    I also might hand out Weeds & Dalaran Brownies to people who seem really upset. Magic Brownies are sure to cheer you up.

  7. Kolan says:

    Hey Bear,

    I’m doing something similar. I have not given up raiding on my main ally hunter but I have started a horde guilde with a couple of mates. Only about 4 of us and we are all levelling different alts horde side. It is great fun. Not rushing to power level. I am really enjoying the feel of the horde side and trying different classes. I now have a 53 undead shadow priest and a 40 BE Pally. The undead is very cool and a world away from my Draenei/humans on ally he is just plain old fashion evil. But the Blood Elf is a worry. Now how can I put this without offending anyone? He is a Ret Pally that smashes mobs with a big ass axe. Problem is everything he does is just so effeminant. He prances when he walks, skips when he runs and even strikes a pose when standing still. I can’t even find a helmet to cover his blonde bangs. Not exactly the type to scare you in a dark ally, more likely to buy you a drink. :-) Not to mention the frightful starting armour colours you get. *shiver

    It will be interesting when faction transfers come. I know I have a couple of ally alts that just might find there way over to horde.

    Cheers

    Kol

  8. Elton says:

    If 10% of their body weight is in their ears, the hair must be at least 15%

  9. Altheta says:

    The most fun I had with my Guild was when the server went down. We all rolled Gnome Alts, except for the one guy who we started calling Cartman because he made a Dwarf. I guess he didnt get the memo. Well anyway we ran our lil fat legs off trying to make it from some big ally city to Ogr. Along the way many of the pack were picked off by Panthers, Gorillas, anything. It was so funny when one of the leaders of the pack would get pounced by a beast and we would just keep running.

    Finally we made it to Ogr and used the force of 20+ lvl 2-3 Gnomes to pvp lvl 10 toons. It was great, like a pack of ants attacking a pic nic. So I dont think you went crazy I just think you are able to find humor in a game that some take to serious. Well except for me because i am really a 2 ton cow that can heal people.

    Cheers

  10. ursiheil says:

    The minute I saw the title, I couldn’t help but think of this

    http://www.tf2.com/sandvich.htm

    although this would be more if the bear was hungry for a midnight snack…

  11. Bellwether says:

    You’re so awesome.

  12. Maebius says:

    this is why I rolled on an RP server. Not jsut to avoid the ganking since I’m a carebear at heart and wanted to try this whole “computer game online thing” for hte first time. Stuff like this totally makes my day. It’s why we all still play after so many years, I think. Finding the fun in the game beyond the questing. :)

  13. Kae says:

    That is AWESOME. You just made my morning. Thank you.

  14. Honorshammer says:

    “I think I’ve lost my mind.”

    You’re just now figuring this out? ;-)

  15. Fish says:

    Not just a sandwich, a heavy protein loading, weightlifting regimen. My poor pally barely looked like he could lift those new northrend 2h sword designs. The greatsword of the sindorei is a lil more tapered, but still, my human pally looks like he’d just crush my blood elf. . .

  16. Steak says:

    I rolled a NE druid, due to my usual server being down, to check out the druish lore from the other angle, and I mostly ended up walking up to random people in whatever that capital city is called (Darnassus? Sounds right…) and telling them to check out this sweet flip I can do, being sure to throw in plenty of, “No, seriously…I can flip. Lemme try again!” and “Hold on…I know I can do this,” comments when I only managed to jump straight up and down. I had a few dozen people adding me to their friends list, several “social guild” invites and about 100 people ignoring me within 2 hours.

    I make a point of sitting next to Cairn’s body after a successful Alliance raid on Thunder Bluff, insisting to anyone who comes near that he was like a father to me.

    I’ve got no problem giving my worg puppy a biscuit and dashing about in cat form screaming “HALP!” as it chases me around in the middle of a raid (on trash…I’m considerate).

    Dumb fun is essential and shows that you are clearly and desperately trying NOT to lose your mind.

  17. Tesh says:

    Nice, BBB. That’s the sort of thing that makes these games fun. Whether or not it’s sane is entirely a matter of frame of reference. To some, gaming itself is insane. ;)

  18. Kit says:

    “Pornstar skinny” is the way I think of female BEs . . . pretty sure that’s what Blizzard had in mind :P

  19. Hana says:

    Hehe… I once rolled a female BE hunter on a PvP, because I wanted to play something that I thought would scream “GANK ME!” She’s since long been abandoned, but I got a chuckle over this. If I’d been offered a sandwich I think I would have taken it!

  20. Fangtastic says:

    Which realm is your troll on? If you, or anyone else here, want a laid back Horde guild where the only rules are “Be over 21 and be nice” you might like to drop Night Gallery on Aerie Peak a holler. :)

    “Bovinewrath” – Tauren Druid, Aerie Peak

  21. Leah says:

    I don’t like you anymore.

    GRRRRRR

    1. bloodelf females are not anorexic. they are slender. you cannot see their bones poking out everywhere, other then cheekbones on some faces, they have some very lovely curves (and not just boobs – rotate a belf model one of these days) they are slender. I look like one (except for the height) and trust me – I love my food. I don’t gorge on it, but I don’t starve myself either. some of us just have slender bones and are not blessed genetically to pull of troll female curves. We don’t have the bones for it

    2. I think night elf models are not exactly the best looking ones in the game. their arms seem too long, their hips too narrow for a female of their proportions and some of the faces /shudder. however, if that’s your thing, if this what appeals to you – I’m not going to treat you any differently just for choosing a race I find less appealing then other choices you had.

    so fer god’s sake lay of the blood elves and people who play them already! what’s more – stop, please stop with assumptions that everyone who’s not overweight must be anorexic. enough already.

    /end rant

  22. Leah says:

    oh, yeah.. speaking of strength and size. you know those bulky guys, the bodybuilder types. they are not necessarily as strong as they look.

    look up rock climbers sometimes, or bicyclists, or gymnasts, or hell – fitness competitors. look them up when they are at rest and not flexing their muscles. notice something? notice how lean they are, how lanky even? and then look up videos of some of the stuff they do – they put so called weightlifters to shame with their strength.

    just because someone doesn’t look like Arnold during his bodybuilding years doesn’t mean they are weak or anorexic.

    gah – this subject really pushes my buttons.

  23. bigbearbutt says:

    Well Leah, I am very sorry that you no longer like me anymore.

    If I were to ever act in that way towards any real, flesh and blood person, I could totally understand your anger and upset, and I’d be in total agreement. Anorexia, like any other disease, is no joke in the real world. None whatsoever.

    I’m sorry that you feel that my amusing myself in this way is offensive, truly degrading to those who play Blood Elves in the game. We’re not an RP server (just look at our trade channel sometime, /sigh), and frankly I had felt that amusing myself in this way was fun and light-hearted, easily ignored, a bit of wild surrealism in a world of pixels and stereotypes that are ignored. I never imagined someone would identify so closely with their Blood Elf persona as to feel personally hurt by this kind of activity. It just never crossed my mind, and shows me that I can be insensitive without even realizing it.

    I could just as easily have mocked the way every. single. human. male. has to be super buffed he man hercules types… no matter how old, bald, young, etc. All human males apparently are that bodybuilder type you reference.

    Your comments have opened my eyes… this is meant as light fun, within a video game, and I truly hope that the people that are playing Blood Elves that I do this to are not identifying with their characters to the point that this would cause them personal real life anxiety and stress.

  24. Shianti says:

    I won’t comment towards previous posters as everyone has the right to their own opinion and to expressing it, but after reading your response to her, I felt it was important to say that I enjoyed the post, the humor contained, and anyone who has read your blog, or been acquainted with you at all knows that you would never have said anything with any malice that would hurt someone.

    Today’s world is full of politically correct statements, and while I would never condone humor at someone else’s expense, I think it bears saying that if people filter every single thing they say for the political correctness of it, perhaps humor would cease to exist. I think that no matter what you say, you run the risk of offending someone. A perfect example is: at my job, we have been educated that we should not call someone big or large or fat or obese, we should call them “people of size”. I gotta tell you, being someone who is not thin, I would be more offended that you had to take the time to think about my physical habitus long enough to come up with the term people of size. I am big, it is what it is, short people are short, tall people are tall, skinny people are skinny. I probably offended people with that, but there comes a time when your intention is more important than your words…and I think it is clear to everyone you would never intend to hurt anyone.

    Sorry, I just felt compelled to respond.

  25. Morphy of Zuljin says:

    Well said Shianti. BBB you are awesome and it is clear you have a heart to match the size of your butt.

  26. Mama Druid says:

    Great responses BBB and Shianti. I think BBB nailed it right here.

    “I never imagined someone would identify so closely with their Blood Elf persona as to feel personally hurt by this kind of activity.”

    And here.

    “…I truly hope that the people [snip] are not identifying with their characters to the point that this would cause them personal real life anxiety and stress.”

    If the above statement is true for any player, it’s time to step back, take a deep breath, look at your computer and declare, “Well gosh gee golly, would ya look at that? I’m playing a game!”

  27. Leah says:

    part of it was hearing from people most of my life that I’m too skinny. part of it – a big part, was your comment that you only said it to non paladins, because paladins didn’t have a choice of race. part of it was Breana’s comment of “I’m glad you didn’t roll a blood elf hunter” it almost feels like you are looking down on people who chose to play blood elves other then paladins. more over – would you think it was just as funny to approach every female tauren who was not a druid and offer them a diet or a stair master or something. would you do that to a dwarven character? Anorexia remarks annoy me. the difference in treatment towards people based on their choice of race for their characters annoys me. its racism covered up by “its only a game and its all done in a lighthearted fun” I get treated differently when I’m on my non blood elf characters. and that just sucks.

    to be fair – I find that flack gnome characters get from BOTH sides annoys me just as much.

    its a game. but its played by real people with real prejudices.

    I don’t play my blood elf hunter much anymore, other then to do an occasional fishing and cooking daily (or logging in on her, to make buff foods from my other characters) I’ve gotten tired of trying to prove that I don’t suck as a player, just because of my choice of race/class combination – every time old players leave and new players take their place.

  28. Shianti says:

    Ok, I totally was not going to respond to you directly Leah, but your response to the response makes me just sort of look at the monitor and shake my head a bit. First of all, let me make clear that the only race I find attractive on the horde side is the blood elves. I have a level 70+ orc shaman who I would freely put away permanently if I could make myself a blood elf shaman. It is not one of the choices. Additionally, I have a real issue with running or plodding along as a big cow, therefore, the choice for my druid to be a night elf was not a difficult one for me. Physically, I probably more resemble a tauren than a night elf, except I don’t have a tail. Or wait, hooves. Oh yeah…it is a fantasy game with fantasy characters, the goal is not for me to find someone who most resembles me! After all, if that were the case, I imagine that nobody would ever be undead, since you couldn’t physically exist if you had your bones exposed in the varied way in which they are!

    Anyway, what I am trying to say here is you are making a personal connection to blood elves that simply doesn’t exist. I don’t look at someone who plays a tauren and assume they must be fat, I don’t look at someone who plays a troll and think they Really need to see a podiatrist, I don’t look at someone who plays a gnome and assume they must be a little person. I don’t usually think anything about the person behind the toon, they are totally separate. I don’t look at BBB’s female night elf and think, oh, that must be a hot chick playing her…because it obviously is not. I honestly cannot think of one of the races in the game that doesn’t have something objectionable about them. I don’t have to go into the specifics here, everyone knows the comments, ranging from moo’ing at taurens to giggling at the tiny little gnomes. If you choose to take things personally regarding your toons, then that is something you have to deal with, but what I really can’t abide is you claiming that BBB’s humor is in any way objectionable because it hurts someone IRL. I find it offensive mostly because if you are in fact a recurring visitor to this blog, you really should know better, and attempting to make him feel guilty for making a fun, humorous post is simply not acceptable. There is no connection. None.

    I don’t know that my post will make it past moderation, and I really am not trying to get into a little response war here, in fact, I have responded here maybe 2 or 3 time previously, as I really prefer to just read and lurk, however, while you have things that make you upset, what makes me upset is making a good man who writes for his and others’ entertainment being made to second guess himself and feel badly. Unacceptable.

  29. Leah says:

    Shianti – I’m not always as eloquent as I should be, especially when upset. its a failing.

    I’m a recurring visitor and in general a fan of the attitude of consideration and acceptance that BBB promotes and judging by posts so far attempts to live by. which is why this particular post hit me like that.

    why blood elves specifically and with the anorexia thing.

    what’s more and I quote: “If I see someone that is playing a Blood Elf, that is NOT a Paladin (since they have no choice), and that is female” .

    “Breana; “I’m glad you didn’t make a Blood Elf Hunter.”

    Bear; “Oh, I couldn’t do that. The Blood Elf Hunter is so passé”

    forgive me but I’m still not finding that in any way funny.

    as for appearances – some people chose to play the race they find visually appealing, my husband preferred to play races that were scary looking (and specifically chose the scariest faces they could find for all his characters”, so people are motivated solely by racial abilities and perks and randomize their character’s appearance because it doesn’t matter to then all that much, I wanted my first character to be an avatar of sorts in this virtual world we spend so much of our time in. She became an extension of me, with my personal quirks and preferences, a fictional character that I cared about because of all the real people interaction I was doing through her.

    Every race in this game has something objectionable to at least some who play the game. I personally wish that my druid would straighten her spine once in a while instead of slouching like that – tauren males have good postures, why not females? however – not one single race has as many jokes flung towards them, as many negative comments, assumptions made about etc as blood elves. and it makes it pretty uncomfortable to play one at some point. “how could you chose to play a blood elf, they are so uncool!” its just not the sort of sentiment I would expect BBB to have. I don’t like to be made to feel bad about my choice of a race to play either.

    I’m still not sure if I’m making myself clear here, probably not. but I can at least try.

  30. Stacey says:

    Leah–I read through your posts and their responses, and I have only three words to say.

    Get over it.

    The world does not revolve around you, and the post was clearly not aimed at you or your little Mary Sue character, since I doubt the author even knew of your existence and/ or appearance until you posted about it. Blog posts shouldn’t need a disclaimer saying “Resemblance to any individuals living or dead is purely coincidental, etc.”

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