As I was spinning my way through Sholozar pursuing ore for my most recent obsession, my old pal Occulus logged in and said hi.

He shared with me his excitement about the upcoming Worgen, and his intention to make his Worgen a Druid.

Well, hells yes, same as me! Woot!

Then he mentioned that he was stoked about saving gold for his future Worgen to be… he had already saved up 10,000 gold this week towards his goal of having 50,000 gold when his Worgen began. You know, for those minor essentials like Epic Flying Form, Cold Weather Flying, a passenger Mammoth and a motorcycle allr eady and waiting for him.

Umm… dude.

But then he mentioned his excitement at the Goblin race mount, the go karts, and how he was slightly dissapointed that Worgen would be riding a Boar. And how the hell did that happen anyway? Why wouldn’t the Worgen just EAT the Boar?

Well, screenshot or it didn’t happen.

So Occulus coughed up a link to a screenshot, courtesy of MMO Champion;

Worgenmountsketch

Okay, that’s definitely a sketch of a Worgen on a Boar mount, from Blizzcon. Dude.

Back to this whole “Why would Worgen not eat their mount” thing.

Well, let’s face it, if you were a Boar, and a wolf thing jumped on your back, you’d run like hell, wouldn’t you?

I’m thinking a LOT higher base movement speed.

And then again, there’s that image I had…

Here comes a Worgen, riding into Stormwind.

A Guard stops him at the main gate. The Guard looks him over, and then looks his mount over.

The Worgen looks scruffy, scarred up and dusty, like he’d been lost in the Badlands for quite some time.

The Boar he’s riding is missing both ears, has an eyepatch, and has not one but TWO peg legs.

The Guard looks the Worgen up and down, and says, “Furball, that mount of your’n has seen better days. What in the world happened to him?”

The Worgen looks down at the Guard, and replies, “Well, I was looking for ore down in the southern part of the Badlands, and just when I got my pick stuck in, the damn rock came to life and attacked. This here Boar done got me out of there faster than shit through a goose!”

The Guard looks up at the Worgen and says, ‘Well, I can see that’d be a difficult position, but that doesn’t explain…”

The Worgen goes on to say, “Then later, we were over in the east part of the Badlands looking for ore, and a bunch of red flappy things started raining fire down all around us. This here Boar got me out of there alive when the fire was splashing around us harder than a cow pissing on a flat rock.”

The Guard eases his helmet back and says, “Well, that’s a mighty fast Boar, I’ll grant you, but I still don’t get…”

The Worgen then says, “And then we were over in the southwest of the Badlands looking for ore, and we found the motherload! And then, just as I was hauling away the biggest sack of iron and gold you ever saw, along came not one, not two, but five huge Ogres, led by this massive chief Ogre with a big stick! I thought we were done fer, but this here Boar got me AND the sack of ore out and gone, and left those Ogres standing there in our dust, just like a raid of noobs standing in Archavon’s fart cloud right afore the wipe.”

“Great!” yelled the Guard, “It’s a wonderful Boar that carried your furry tail out of a bunch of tight messes! I get it! Now tell me how in the hell it got so beat up?”

And the Worgen says, “Well, shoot, a Boar that good, you don’t eat it all at once, now do ya?”

22 Responses to “Worgen, a source of endless amusement”
  1. Jayle says:

    LOL! I made the mistake of reading this at work. I broke out laughing so hard that everyone turned to see what the commotion was all about.

  2. Wren says:

    That…was…priceless.

    I love it.

  3. Iron says:

    I just drew wife aggro from the laughter (while she was doing dishes) – GREAT article!
    And that has cemented my want of a worgen! ty bbb
    .-= Iron´s last blog ..What was your first toon? Do you still have it? =-.

  4. Alex says:

    That gave me a very good laugh. Gotta love redneck toilet humor!

  5. LazyPeon says:

    *lol*

    That’s all I can really say.

  6. Jacemora says:

    Awesome adaptation! Love it!
    .-= Jacemora´s last blog ..Ulduar Clear and a Post Yogg Thrall After Party! =-.

  7. Malphailuron says:

    That joke almost redeemed a completely hideous idea.

    Almost.

    … really, overgrown PIGS as mounts??

  8. Cataclysmic says:

    Isnt it some kind of wereboar?

    Its back feet appear to be padded (Boars have a hoof like foot)

  9. Clinton says:

    Thankfully I did not make the mistake of reading this in the library, or it would have been bad… I laughed so hard I cried when I read this. I tried to read it to a friend over vent, failed rather epically I do say so myself, and proceeded to just copy and paste it to him; which proceeded to produce prodigious amounts of laughter on his end. Excellent!!!! :D

  10. Ferrel says:

    I am an extremely easy person to sucker into an MMO I think. I always love playing “werewolf” like characters so I might end up in WoW again for a little while just to play a Worgen.

  11. Redauroa says:

    HAHA that was great!!!! Thank you for sharing that. You made my day!!!

  12. Morphy of Zuljin says:

    Mega dittos!

  13. Jack says:

    The boar has an ancient symbolic tradition, specifically among druidic cultures, as a spiritual guardian.

    I mean, not to distract from the humor. I lol’d for real. I’m just sayin’.

    Maybe there’s more to the choice for a mount than “wouldn’t it be cool to see a wolf ride a pig.”

  14. Artorin says:

    Three little pigs anyone?
    .-= Artorin´s last blog ..Ode to Min Maxing =-.

  15. Iris says:

    That was funny :) It really made me grin.

    However, I must object… I really don’t think this mount looks much like a boar. Sure, it has hooves, but that is about it. Look at its face. The tusks are curving down, not up, and are actually an extension of his upper jaw, rather than protruding down from it. It has some weird jutting bone-like thing for lower jaw. It looks a bit like the top of its head is covered by a bone-plate, akin to some dinosaurs. And it definitely has carnivorous looking teeth… Looks more like some new kind of imagined beast to me. In fact, I think at least on this sketch, it looks rather cool.

    If the question came to someone eating the other, I will not be in a rush to put my money on the worgen over this beast.

  16. Trixie says:

    Haha, nice. I wasn’t expecting to laugh as hard as I did at the punch line. Well done!
    .-= Trixie´s last blog ..Why you, I oughta! =-.

  17. Karchon says:

    As someone who regulary eats Pferdeleberkäse (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leberk%C3%A4se last one under variants), I don’t see anything wrong with making your meat supply carry you.

  18. Blacknimbus says:

    I guess you’ve never eaten horse, eh BBB? :)

  19. Cataclysmic says:

    But in a locked down city like Gilneas, where have they got hold of this mysterious beast? Its gotta be a were-something-or-other, cursed with the same curse as the worgen?

    Maybes its a werewolf riding a werewolf! Transformers style (The Junk Planet Motorbikes in human form riding the motorbikes in bike form – One of the old Transformers Movies)

  20. Stupid Mage says:

    I would actually have much preferred if Worgen got a Running Form or Aspect. Much greater appeal than them riding on anything.

  21. Yashima says:

    what a start into my workday :D thx!

    really? Boars? oO …
    .-= Yashima´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Guild! =-.

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