The Bear Tank Creed

I, the Bear Tank, do hereby promise the following;

I will place my big bear butt between you and the enemy.

I will take upon my face the blows that our enemies seek to deliver. 

I shall normally be the first to pull, but will not be too proud to use crowd control.

I shall attempt to stand still so that the melee may get well and truly stuck in, for the greater glory of the damage meters.

I shall strive to drag the mobs into a small cluster within line of sight of the ranged DPS, so that the AoE can be bountiful for the greater glory of the damage meters.

I shall watch the placement of both the melee players AND the pets, that they may ALSO be within range and line of sight of the healers, and if not I shall move my butt accordingly.

I shall move my bear butt if we be standing in the fire, mon. And I’ll move far enough that the melee is out of it, too.

I shall watch the party, and if the enemy ignores me because one of the party looks tasty, I shall target him and taunt him and make him my bitch, because he has greatly displeased me.

I shall use my Demoralyzing Roar at will, that the enemy be made worthless and weak.

I shall use Feral Faerie Fire frequently, for in truth it is good to “light them up”.

I shall change my viewpoint often to watch the enemy AND the party both before AND behind me, because those who wish to survive the deep shit learn to “check their six.”

I shall Glyph for Maul, and revel in the destruction it causes.

I shall Glyph for Frenzied Regeneration, that the efforts of the healers be made bountiful when it matters the most.

I shall remember that Survival Instincts should be used before Frenzied Regeneration to really pack on the pounds, for normal bear butt plus bigger imaginary bear butt equals more powerfully regenerated massive bear butt.

I shall remember that my job is not to be highest on the damage meters, but instead to keep the enemies’ attention on me and only on me, to survive the attention, and to allow the rest of the party to deal massive amounts of damage without being bothered by pesky mobs in the face.

I shall endeavor to learn the capabilities of the enemy, for what we don’t know CAN kill us.

I shall use marks when the enemy can be a threat to the party, I will carefully note which of the enemy are the most dangerous threats to the party, and I will mark them for death first. 

When in doubt, we shall kill the casters first, for they are squishy and taste good with ketchup.

Above all else, I shall remember that I am but one member of a team, and that no one member of the team contributes more to the success of the team than any other…

That if we succeed, it’s because the DPS and healers kicked ass…

If someone dies, it was my fault…

And that if there is a wipe, I shall not bitch about repair bills, for praise Blizzard we can tank without wearing plate.

37 thoughts on “The Bear Tank Creed

  1. Hehe. Well put.

    But for me, this is why I play alliance.

    “I shall shadowmeld during farming runs to hide my bear butt and laugh as the boss one-shots our cocky raid leader. Just for giggles. See if he’s proud of his dps now.”

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  2. ::laughing as my husband the paladin tank reads this::

    His reaction??

    “I like it, up to the last line… as for your last line, Bite My Avenger’s Shield!”

    ::giggling::

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  3. The House of Morphy hereby declares it’s allegiance to BBB and swears to uphold the Bear Creed to my last unbrez’d breath. . . avenger’s shield, shmavenger’s shield. lol

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  4. I think we need that on the back of a t-shirt with a bear on the front! would look awesome with my swag dog hat! its so cool it has my guild on it that fell apart before i received the hat, but after i ordered it lol.

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  5. @ James: My first few attempts at heroic tanking probably would have made you look good :) It all comes with practice and some selmblance of a rotation. The way I practiced was to get the Bloodsail Admiral title from killing Booty Bay Bruisers. By the end of that grind you’re a pro. hehe

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  6. Malphailuron says: September 9th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
    How about this for a Healer’s Creed:
    “This is my tank. There are many like it, but this one is mine …”

    Awesome! I like it.

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  7. I Coppermoon of Malfurion, do solemnly swear to uphold the Beartank creed, and I will try to remember it’s the enemy castors that taste good with ketchup. Thank you so much BBB, you are my hero. /salute with respect.

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