I, the Bear Tank, do hereby promise the following;

I will place my big bear butt between you and the enemy.

I will take upon my face the blows that our enemies seek to deliver. 

I shall normally be the first to pull, but will not be too proud to use crowd control.

I shall attempt to stand still so that the melee may get well and truly stuck in, for the greater glory of the damage meters.

I shall strive to drag the mobs into a small cluster within line of sight of the ranged DPS, so that the AoE can be bountiful for the greater glory of the damage meters.

I shall watch the placement of both the melee players AND the pets, that they may ALSO be within range and line of sight of the healers, and if not I shall move my butt accordingly.

I shall move my bear butt if we be standing in the fire, mon. And I’ll move far enough that the melee is out of it, too.

I shall watch the party, and if the enemy ignores me because one of the party looks tasty, I shall target him and taunt him and make him my bitch, because he has greatly displeased me.

I shall use my Demoralyzing Roar at will, that the enemy be made worthless and weak.

I shall use Feral Faerie Fire frequently, for in truth it is good to “light them up”.

I shall change my viewpoint often to watch the enemy AND the party both before AND behind me, because those who wish to survive the deep shit learn to “check their six.”

I shall Glyph for Maul, and revel in the destruction it causes.

I shall Glyph for Frenzied Regeneration, that the efforts of the healers be made bountiful when it matters the most.

I shall remember that Survival Instincts should be used before Frenzied Regeneration to really pack on the pounds, for normal bear butt plus bigger imaginary bear butt equals more powerfully regenerated massive bear butt.

I shall remember that my job is not to be highest on the damage meters, but instead to keep the enemies’ attention on me and only on me, to survive the attention, and to allow the rest of the party to deal massive amounts of damage without being bothered by pesky mobs in the face.

I shall endeavor to learn the capabilities of the enemy, for what we don’t know CAN kill us.

I shall use marks when the enemy can be a threat to the party, I will carefully note which of the enemy are the most dangerous threats to the party, and I will mark them for death first. 

When in doubt, we shall kill the casters first, for they are squishy and taste good with ketchup.

Above all else, I shall remember that I am but one member of a team, and that no one member of the team contributes more to the success of the team than any other…

That if we succeed, it’s because the DPS and healers kicked ass…

If someone dies, it was my fault…

And that if there is a wipe, I shall not bitch about repair bills, for praise Blizzard we can tank without wearing plate.

37 Responses to “The Bear Tank Creed”
  1. SmokyBG says:

    for praise Blizzard we can tank without wearing plate.
    Amen, brother!

  2. Spinks says:

    “If someone dies, it was my fault…” (unless it was their fault, and they know who they are!!!)

  3. Akkivvitt says:

    Awesome post BBB!

  4. Kayeri says:

    Awesome post, Bear! :) I may have to come up with a healer’s version now… :)

  5. Sim says:

    Hehe. Well put.

    But for me, this is why I play alliance.

    “I shall shadowmeld during farming runs to hide my bear butt and laugh as the boss one-shots our cocky raid leader. Just for giggles. See if he’s proud of his dps now.”

  6. Kayeri says:

    ::laughing as my husband the paladin tank reads this::

    His reaction??

    “I like it, up to the last line… as for your last line, Bite My Avenger’s Shield!”

    ::giggling::

  7. Razl says:

    Amen. So has BBB spoken, so let it be done. “Follow me, if you want to live.”

  8. Morphy of Zuljin says:

    The House of Morphy hereby declares it’s allegiance to BBB and swears to uphold the Bear Creed to my last unbrez’d breath. . . avenger’s shield, shmavenger’s shield. lol

  9. Windsoar says:

    So says BBB, so shall it be done.

    If only you could get all those sad pug tanks to come read :P
    .-= Windsoar´s last blog ..Rune Timers Addendum =-.

  10. Redauroa says:

    Oh this is great!! Thank you bear!

  11. Navir says:

    I think we need that on the back of a t-shirt with a bear on the front! would look awesome with my swag dog hat! its so cool it has my guild on it that fell apart before i received the hat, but after i ordered it lol.

  12. Mike Haar says:

    I cried.

  13. Trixie says:

    This post needs to find a home in “Golden Oldies” or a “sticky”. “P
    .-= Trixie´s last blog ..Predictions are difficult, especially when they are about the future… =-.

  14. Malphailuron says:

    How about this for a Healer’s Creed:

    “This is my tank. There are many like it, but this one is mine …”

  15. Plainsrunner says:

    “Without me, my healers and dps are worthless….without my healers and dps, I am worthless”

  16. Bigguss says:

    The universal (apart from different spells) Tank code of honor.

    Ahem and /salute!

  17. Maebius says:

    /salute.

    So say we all.

    (this coming from a healer, who is GOING to point our tank in your direction tonight)
    .-= Maebius´s last blog ..And so it starts… =-.

  18. Seramarias says:

    Wow. This. . . . is made of win. I salute you. ***steals post, begins figuring out what to change to make it work for palatanks***

  19. Redaurora says:

    Oh yes lets get this on a shirt with the BBB on front with his quote I tank with my face.

  20. Phaedra says:

    Preach on brother! Amen!

  21. klaki says:

    LOL @ Sim: I’ve done that…. so funny.
    .-= klaki´s last blog ..A Second Wind =-.

  22. Jeff says:

    In the frosty, cold, undead world I inhabit even Deathknights shall live by the tanking creed

  23. Morphy of Zuljin says:

    @ James: My first few attempts at heroic tanking probably would have made you look good :) It all comes with practice and some selmblance of a rotation. The way I practiced was to get the Bloodsail Admiral title from killing Booty Bay Bruisers. By the end of that grind you’re a pro. hehe

  24. Huzzah, Great Bear! Well said and as a budding Boomkin-turned-Baby Bear, I will memorize this mantra.
    .-= Calardren, the Very Old´s last blog ..CHAAARGE! =-.

  25. Tesh says:

    *bookmarks*

    Great post, BBB!
    .-= Tesh´s last blog ..9 UP =-.

  26. Elathan says:

    No truer words to tank by has ever been posted, AMEN BBB

    RAWR!

  27. Nice post :) Very funny!
    .-= We Fly Spitfires´s last blog ..Would You Buy Levels In A MMORPG? =-.

  28. Dirz says:

    damn plate wearers and our 15g a death fee:(

  29. Skiannach says:

    /hugs the big fat bear

    Thank you. I was wondering how to get started in the scary world of bear tanking. And this is just what I needed.

  30. Boize says:

    “And that if there is a wipe, I shall not bitch about repair bills, for praise Blizzard we can tank without wearing plate.”

    Oh yes, this is one thing I can def. identify with.
    .-= Boize´s last blog ..Moonkin How To: Koralon =-.

  31. Steevee says:

    Malphailuron says: September 9th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
    How about this for a Healer’s Creed:
    “This is my tank. There are many like it, but this one is mine …”

    Awesome! I like it.

  32. David says:

    Great post! You inspired me to write my own creed for Trees!
    .-= David´s last blog ..The Tree Healer Creed (Inspired by Big Bear Butt Blogger) =-.

  33. Gnomeaggedon says:

    “When in doubt, we shall kill the casters first, for they are squishy and taste good with ketchup.”

    I just wish people wouldn’t remember this in PvP…

    Mmmm Sweet tasting Gnome caster… Ooooohhh it’s a fire mage too… nice and spicy!
    .-= Gnomeaggedon´s last blog ..500 Posts, 3,000 comments, 10,158 spam =-.

  34. Hugo says:

    Great reading this was, indeed an inspiration for bloggers around.
    .-= Hugo´s last blog ..Another "The Tree Healer Creed" =-.

  35. Alaron says:

    Excellent, BBB. Following your inspiration, I’ve just written a panther creed. (I couldn’t, for the life of me, call it a kitty creed.) Check it out if you get a chance.
    .-= Alaron´s last blog ..The Panther Creed =-.

  36. Kaethir says:

    “When in doubt, we shall kill the casters first, for they are squishy and taste good with ketchup.”

    Indeed.
    .-= Kaethir´s last blog ..So close! =-.

  37. caliokiegirl says:

    I Coppermoon of Malfurion, do solemnly swear to uphold the Beartank creed, and I will try to remember it’s the enemy castors that taste good with ketchup. Thank you so much BBB, you are my hero. /salute with respect.

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