The words have drained out of me. There ain’t none there to share.

I find I have nothing of value to say, assuming I ever did in the first place.

Nothing about Bears, nothing about patch changes to instances, nothing about playing at all, nothing about the game or the life outside.

Perhaps it’s simply depression, or the winter blahs, or perhaps it’s a function of how busy I am with more important things like work and family, I don’t know.

I do know that since Sidhe Devils blew up a few months ago, the game feels a lot different for me now than before. Most of it has to do with trust issues, of course, and the baggage I have in my head from years of cheerful upbringing, but I learned long ago that just because you can identify something with logic and reason, that doesn’t necessarily change the way you feel about it at the time.

It’s not the only thing going on, but it’s certainly a major contributing factor to my blahs.

Wherever my head may be at, I don’t have any inspiration to write anything. And if I don’t have anything useful to say, best if I don’t say anything at all.

I’m sure things will change, and I’ll have an attitude adjustment soon.

Looking back on things, I’ve mostly been cheerful and optimistic for years now, day in and day out, even with the occasional rants, and I think that might qualify as crazy all by itself. Hmmm. 

I just wanted to let you folks know that there won’t be any real bloggage until I get my words back, and get my head screwed back on straight.

Thanks for your time, and have a fun week.

BBB

49 Responses to “On break”
  1. Chaninn says:

    I hope you find your words again. I’ve enjoyed coming to your site & have looked forward to your words.
    to you and yours while you rest.

  2. Chaninn says:

    Dang! it cut out my “hugs”! So… “hugs” to you and yours!

  3. Finwe says:

    I’ve missed the bear walls for the last few days.

    In the past, it seems like your occasional meet-and-greet at the local BW3 raised your spirits a lot. Maybe you’re due for another one of those.

    And I’m really happy to see the PBeM back up and running. Hopefully you’re still inspired to work on that, given the requisite time allowance.

    -Finwe (fellow casual bear/tree)

  4. Asara says:

    *hugs* from me as well. I think it’s just that time of year or something. I can’t think of anything that’s supportive without being kind of “I give you permission to rest” also, so…

    I think I’ll just leave it at *hugs*.
    .-= Asara´s last blog ..Epic WoW Marathon! (plus news.) =-.

  5. Morphster of Aggramar says:

    It just goes to show that “when the chips are down, the cow’s empty.” lol Enjoy your free time, we’ll be here if and when you are ready to return.

  6. Tesh says:

    Such is life. Circadian rhythms and all that. Here’s hoping life treats you right. :)
    .-= Tesh´s last blog ..Allod of Acrophobia =-.

  7. Bear Pelt says:

    /patpat

    A good rest, and perhaps some romping on the web and around in real life will do some good. Keep that furry chin up!

  8. Kaethir says:

    Take a break!

    Have some adventures, then come back and regale us with a storytime or two about them!
    .-= Kaethir´s last blog ..Frost Emblem Accessories Redux =-.

  9. Kattrinsaa says:

    I completely understand, hope your muse visits you soon.
    mine went and hid over at think geek and is taunting me with geekling things i want to get for my daughter.
    .-= Kattrinsaa´s last blog ..Rant: DPS control issues =-.

  10. lissanna says:

    Yeah. There is kindof a slump between the ICC patch and when Cataclysm excitement starts up. I’m hoping this “blah” only lasts for like a month. I’m really struggling to find things to write about these days…
    .-= lissanna´s last blog ..Murmurs is Not the shadow labs boss =-.

  11. Naturalregis says:

    Best of luck to ya, buddy.

    As lissanna suggests, you might be in the waiting-for-expansion-lull. I know there were some low spots for me while waiting for WotLK.

    And in regards to the guild, just keep in mind that even if things are changing and different, that doesn’t mean it’s bad! Some changes may end up being great, even if it doesn’t seem so at first.

    And you’ve still got friends on the Horde side. ;)
    .-= Naturalregis´s last blog ..WoW is boring. Or is it? =-.

  12. Agora says:

    I find the period after which high iLevel emblem gear is released to be a period of high tension within non-raiding and super-casual raiding guilds.

    Some players suddendly find themselves whoring for gear and then, convinced they are l33t, believe they deserve to pwn the latest raid content. The “good” guys, those who recognize their ambitions are no longer aligned with those of the guild, either leave to join a raiding guild or start pugging raids. The “bad” guys, those who would like the guild to change to meet their new ambitions, typically attempt to push the guild into something different and often set new restrictions for their own runs (you’re not l33t enough for my heroic runs). Tension grows and the guild is divided into two or more camps unless the issue is handled decisively right away.

    The problem is compounded because the GM is usually a nice guy or gal, and first wants to resolve the issue to everyone’s satisfaction. After a while, they realize it’s impossible and typically do the right thing and/or resign.

    At this point, the GM feels bad about himself (herself) because they “know” they should have handled the issue sooner and better, and it changes their perception of themselves, the guild, and other players. The GM usually goes into a funk and the guild into a downward spiral.

    (As an aside, a few non-officers almost always remain true to the mission of the guild and will form its core when it is time to rebuild).

    I wish GMs learn this type of mistakes is part of the “game” and to forgive themselves more easily. Take the mantle of leadership again and try to recognize the signs which indicate the same situation is likely to develop again. It is hard to say to a friend “I am sorry, I love you as a guildmate but I believe your goals are no longer a good fit for the guild. Please find your raiding fix elsewhere or leave before we lose our friendship”. Another option is to have a delegate for whom there is very or little emotional attachment to individuals (not an easy person to find in super-casual guilds).

    I have no idea if what I described is what happened in your specific situation, but it happens a lot in my experience.

    Nevertheless, I wish you can make peace with whatever triggered this funk. It may take awhile but you will regain your sense of balance and will be back stronger and better than ever.

    Good luck to you!

    PS. Is you and your son looking forward to LEGO Universe? My 6 year old and I certainly are.

  13. bigbearbutt says:

    Trust me, Lissanna and Regis, how I feel has nothing to do with what content is or is not out yet. Just questioning if I feel like it anymore.

  14. Naturalregis says:

    Well, hopefully you come out of your funk sooner rather than later. And hopefully this will help:

    http://verydemotivational.com/2010/01/26/demotivational-posters-platoon/
    .-= Naturalregis´s last blog ..WoW is boring. Or is it? =-.

  15. kaozz says:

    Sorry to hear that. Sometimes we all need a break. Hope you get that spark back :)

  16. Mama Druid says:

    “I find I have nothing of value to say, assuming I ever did in the first place.”

    Well now, that’s just crazy talk. Of course your words are valuable. They come from you and who you are as a person. A person is valuable.

    Regarding the location of your head…

    Where’s your head at?
    Don’t let the walls cave in on you
    We can’t live on, live on without you
    Don’t let the walls cave in on you
    You get what you give that much is true
    Don’t let the walls cave in on you
    You turn the world away from you
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8md51JnCNFQ

    ~ Mama Druid, emphasis on the Mama part here ;)

  17. Bernie says:

    I have always valued everything you have said, wheather Druidy, mariney, family or just plain silly. Don’t stop writing. Whatever you have to say I’m willing to listen.

  18. Karthos says:

    /hugs

    A break is always a good thing…

    Take it easy, don’t try to force it out of ya.

  19. lissanna says:

    Well, you can take a break… but just remember to come back. ;)
    .-= lissanna´s last blog ..Murmurs is Not the shadow labs boss =-.

  20. Nelish says:

    I love the blog… you kinda sound burned out.

    “…nothing of value to say, assuming I ever did in the first place” is just crazy talk.

    Lots of well wishes for you and your muse… I hope that you reconnect when the time is right for you.

  21. Elerossë says:

    Hey BBB,

    even this depressing post is nice to read (in a way). I’ve been comming everynow and then for a while now, don’t always fully understand what the posts are about (i mean when you get technical…) but you just write them in a very enjoyable way. Thanks for the laughs and all the bear theory. You probly just need a break. Looking forward to read you again =)

    Saludos desde Ibiza!

  22. Gnomeaggedon says:

    Enjoy your Big Bear Butt Blogging Break!

    You will know when the time is right, the inspiration will rumble in your bear tummy.

    Come on down to Oz errr Aman’Thul and get Gnomeslapped… I’ll give something to write about… Might even give you some screenshots to post…. Shoah screenshots!
    .-= Gnomeaggedon´s last blog ..Zero Tolerance =-.

  23. Kayeri says:

    Bear, take a breather for awhile then. When something occurs to you, you’ll write about it… and not for us, but for yourself. That was a huge event in your in-game life, I realize that. Usually after things calm down you can recover, I’m hoping you just need that quiet time. It may not ever be what it was, but that doesnt mean what you have isnt good. :) Just don’t forget you’ve done LOTS of good things and had good times as well as had the rough times. My thoughts are with you, and you know you can always pop over to doomhammer and say hi if you feel the need for a change. :) My own winter doldrums seem to have come to an end now that the light is starting to return, and I’m grateful for that. You take care of you and the family. :) We’ll be around and doing our thing, too. :)

  24. Nokin says:

    Could not say what Kayeri just said any better. Take care of yourself and your family and don’t worry, Wow is not going anywhere if you need a break from it too.. I know this from experience..walking away and coming back just to walk away and come back again (over past 5 years). Sometimes we need a breather.

    I mostly lurk here but I do read your blog most days. Anyway, just want you to know from another Wow playing guy (with family and a job that takes a lot of my time) that if and when you find your words, we will be around…and if you don’t… we will still be around…for what I think many of us have found during our long hours of playing this game is its not about the what but about the who… and you along with many others who post and watch here definitely qualify as the who… if that makes any sense… I guess what I’m trying to say is take care of the things you need to and thank you for all the time and energy you put here… looking forward to more blogs but if not…it has been a good ride. /respect

  25. Fubarr says:

    /bear hug

  26. Rayvynn says:

    B3, many have said it much better already than I can say. I know I’m more of a lurker here than anything, but I’ve always enjoyed your posts, regardless of the topic. Take as much time as you need to get your life sorted and your head back on straight. We all have had similar road blocks whether it be real life or WoW related. We totally understand where you’re coming from, and we’ll totally be here when you get back to your PBeM, etc. ;) The best to you and yours during your break, Bear. :)

  27. <3 And we'll be here waiting for you to come back! I find that a lot of the time it doesn't even matter what you write ABOUT, BBB, it's more the way you write- infused with warmth and cheerfulness. If you can't find the warmth and cheerfulness, then it doesn't surprise me you find it hard to write.

    Take care of yourself and family first – everyone here understands that and respects you for it!
    .-= Miss Medicina´s last blog ..Blue Post of the Day =-.

  28. Brian Inman says:

    I see how you are. I just recently found your feed from my recommendations, and now you stop.

    I understand. Blogging can be a huge timesink, and after awhile you start struggling to find things to write about especially right now where the MMO scene is rather quiet for the most part.
    .-= Brian Inman´s last blog ..Do you like Playing MMORPG’s with Friends? =-.

  29. Sarcon says:

    Hope you get to feeling better soon, man.

  30. Rowtan says:

    You know what – even if you didn’t write WoW stuff anymore, I’d still come read your blog. Some of the best laughs I’ve had, have been at your non-WoW blogging. I think you’re an amazing writer, and really draw people into the situation you are writing about. I reckon you just need some sunny days, some time away, and for things to settle down – its always difficult to concentrate on writing things when things around you are in upheaval.

    If you can keep your head when all about you
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
    If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubting too;
    If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
    Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

    If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
    If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
    If you can meet with triumph and disaster
    And treat those two imposters just the same;
    If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
    Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
    And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools;

    If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
    And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breath a word about your loss;
    If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,
    And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

    If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
    Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
    If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
    If all men count with you, but none too much;
    If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run –
    Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
    And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

  31. Bigguss says:

    And another one bites the dust..

  32. BlueTiger says:

    What they said. It would feel sad if you never return to the blog, but thats more a selfish feeling – the most important is that you feel okey with your life, no matter what that life contains. Like what my mother said to my sister, You can go live in a hut in the forest and live of berries if you like – as long it’s your choice!

    As for no more wow-bloggin on the BBB-site – doesn’t matter. I come here to read your writing, and will contiue to :)

  33. bpmonk says:

    I’ve never posted before, but been an avid follower of your blog since I first discovered it. I’ve been playing WoW since my kids bought the game, and over 1 year later finally managed to crawl my way to level 80 (having two little ‘drains on your resources’ can really slow down buying new gear for your own toon, lol).
    You have provided some truly inspirtational words, and really helped in getting my head around the “new world” of end game play – I firmly believe (and advise any druid tanks I get into conversation with that are looking for advice) this this is the single best source of information for furry tanks on the Net, and the library of information and advice you have built up is a real treasure trove for the uninitiated (like me).

    (the other random non-wow stuff was great as well!!)

    Really sorry to hear you’re down at the moment, and I hope things turn around for you soon.

    I will continue to watch this space for whatever you feel like sharing :-)

  34. John Dough says:

    Cheer up mate, noone likes an emo-bear.

  35. Ozzard says:

    I’ve been lurking for a while… hi!

    You’ve had things to say in the past that others have valued. They’ve told you that, too, both inthe comments here and in the number of links you get from other high-profile sites. If you’re re-evaluating and doubting the worth of your past words, check for depression ;-). And feel free to check my rather small and trivial site for why I’m saying that.

    A blog is a very personal thing, and it takes a huge amount of effort to write regularly. That effort isn’t always available – sometimes it needs diverting to higher-priority things, like real life or keeping one’s mood up. I’ve seen a spate of people over the past two months decide to stop blogging regularly, and I suspect it’s due to all the uncertainty around in the world at present. Uncertainty takes effort to combat.

    As an opinion: Do as you wish, and try to ignore the “shoulds” for a while. Things will ease.

    Take care.

  36. Kit says:

    Break is good. And your words will be even tastier for teh missing of them when you return. GL BBB!

  37. Mokele says:

    Do what you feel is best for your own & your familiys’ peace of mind & happiness – thats the most important thing in life. A bit of hibernation is good for the soul if thats where instinct is taking you.
    Really hope to see you back blogging about life, the universe, everything that captures your interest, coz i love your writings – you’re very gifted “D
    Big bear hugs, all the best to you & yours

  38. Berry says:

    *squeezy hugs*

    May the world look better and brighter come spring.

  39. Firecroch says:

    If you need a nice laugh you can always go to youtube and watch “Ninja Raiders” music video. It always makes me smile.

    …..If you like it then you should have rolled NEED on it….QQQ, QQQ, QQQ….lol

  40. Delerius says:

    It happens to all of us BBB. Don’t dwell on your discouragement, just take a break and then re-evaluate some things. If wow isn’t fun anymore, don’t do it. Don’t do it because you feel obligated to your readers. If blogging isn’t fun, don’t do it. I enjoy every one of your posts, even your rants, and I know there are a whole lot of us that do.

    Yours is the soul of a writer, and I find it hard to believe that you will be able to stay away for long. Eventually your desire to express yourself in a literary way will overcome this funk.

    Don’t worry. Be happy.

  41. Remember me, sir? Remember the time I danced in IF with fellow guildmates in a belly shirt and a kilt? Remember when I couldn’t believe my fat little tummy was sticking out for the world to see whenever my Sidhe Devils crest wasn’t displayed? Remember who made the kilts? Remember all the bloggers we had in the guild? Man that was great. Remember when I played more often and called the Sidhe Devils “home”? We all did. I don’t think it blew up…I think people moved on to other pastures, just as people do in their careers and otherwise. I still remember the Sidhe Devils as the place where a little gnome fella can slut around IF with his guildmates supporting him. Dancing the minutes by as the occasional person stops to gawk. I remember having a blast when the guild was around and I know that those same people can be found from place to place :)

    I guess I just wanted to say thanks for being there when I was there. It was a really good time and I remember it happily. You were a part of that…sir. :)

    Always a Sidhe Devil,
    Phinnigan
    aka One Among Many
    aka …Cait
    .-= Cait aka Phinnigan´s last blog ..Russian Word of the Day =-.

  42. Dan says:

    Sorry to see you go, it was fun to read your blogs. Sorry to hear about your guild I know what’s that like, and I know its not the only factor but take some time and clear your head. It is always sad when friends you play with, or blogs you read go on breaks, but such is life. …As many times as we say good-bye it doesn’t really get easier does it? But you will be missed, and we will all be here waiting for you should you return. Priorities shift, it happens to all of us, so go out there and see where the adventure takes you! Best of luck to you and yours.

    May the road rise up to meet you.
    May the wind always be at your back.
    May the sun shine warm upon your face,
    and rains fall soft upon your fields.
    And until we meet again,
    May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

  43. bigbearbutt says:

    OKay, love you guys, I really do, but one quick thing here…

    I’m just taking a break from WoW bullshit drama and stuff, and from thinking about WoW blogging.

    I’m not dead! [waves sign saying “I aten’t ded”]

    Or, as Robert Heinlein once wrote, “Them boys ain’t stoned… they’s jest stoopid!”

    I’m still chugging along, blog ain’t dead, I’m okay, as reference to my recent PBeM post tonight.

    However, if you only follow me for WoW tank stuff, might want to take 10. I’m having too much fun on PBeM stuff, really.

  44. Taeraresh says:

    My sympathies on the guild blowing up. That happened to mine tonight, with two raid leaders and our main healer all /gquitting in the space of an hour.
    I look forward to when you feel like doing WoW posts again, as all the tank advice has proved very useful to me.

  45. Skitari says:

    When I first came here I didn’t even have a druid, much less a tank. I stayed because I enjoy your writing–even the druid tanking stuff was interesting! Once I started leveling a druid, your archives helped me out. When the LFD system came out, your more recent posts were a lifesaver.

    Never doubt the value of your words–they are all worth my time. My baby bear grew up and tanked Icecrown last week, using what you taught me. I thank you for that, and for all the other things you taught me–about being a casual player, about remembering that not everyone has the same goals as I do, and many more things I can’t articulate.

    Take your time, find your smile–we’ll be here when you get back.

  46. Bromson says:

    Hey BBB,
    Just want to say thanks for all the good entertainment and Bear advise yo have given to me/us up to this point. You have had good things to say in value and entertainment. I’ll look forward to more stuff when you feel like writing more. I understand the Blah feeling too. I haven’t had the motivation to play hardly at all between friends drifting away with other agendas, and guild stuff too. In my case partially due to politics, and partially due to scheduling, I haven’t raided for a long long time now, and the guild seems to have left me in the dust, so i’m out here on the barren plains not sure what to do. I understand when you log on and sometimes it just seems like there is too much to do(i.e. should I level that character up to help out, should I go do a bunch of 5 mans because this toon really needs the badge gear, or I should go do some money of profession leveling, etc etc) but none of it really seems liek fun, and so you just find your self staring at the mailbox in Dalaran for like 10-15 minutes before logging off with having done nothing. That’s what I feel like sometimes, not sure if your is like this. I’ll look forward to seeing what you have to say when you get off of your break.
    Maybe as a fun side distraction in addition to your PBEMs, maybe you could do like a Johnny Carson guest writer blog thing with different contributers. Could be a funny glorious train wreck for a few weeks ;)

  47. Nighthawque says:

    I have always loved this blog and always will. This is a game and “entertainment”. If the entertainment isn’t fun or is causing undue stress it is time to take a step back. Have fun enjoy yourself and we’ll be here when you get back.

  48. Spawnofmoose says:

    I hear ya BBB,

    WotLK has brought some major changes in my guild relations department. Been guild hopping quite a bit with my girlfriend and I, which has never happened before. Vanilla, was a solid 1 guild for me. TBC brought some small changes with a small guild shortly after my girlfriend started playing and changed guilds shortly after for end game content. WotLK has been nothing but guild hopping and guilds falling apart, and even a temporary transfer of servers.

    Next stop? I think what you may or may not need is what I’m going for. A slight change of pace. Faction Swap =D

    Moose

  49. Ruune says:

    Cheers Bear. Take a break and chill with some PBeM if that is what is enthusing you at the moment. And if tomorrow it is macrame that is floating your boat, then so be it. I am sure that some time or other you will be back in the groove to write about this or something else.

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