I am not sure what’s going to happen to the future of the blog.

Right now, at this moment in time, I really feel that I’m done.

I’m not playing games, or begging for attention, or trying to screw with anyone’s feelings. I’m just telling you how I feel.

I’m very, very tired of a lot of things right now, mostly having to do with trying to make life happier for other people related to WoW, and failing.

What I don’t know is whether or not I can quit writing. I feel like I should. I can’t understand how a person could feel the way I do, as depressed as I am about game and people related stuff, and still be able to write something chipper and upbeat while being me. 

And yet, time after time, stepping up to the blank blog page somehow brings out an inner cheeriness. As though, no matter how depressed I am about other things, sitting down to talk to you folks brings my spirits up.

That’s a hard habit to break. But great, that’s what I get out of this. No matter how I may have felt when I sat down, you always bring me back up.

But what do YOU get out of the deal? Some depressed old Bear grumpily bitching, pissing and moaning about something that doesn’t really matter?

I dunno.

Fine, I don’t know. What DO I know?

I know that I’ve got to figure out if there is actual, positive value to my writing this blog beyond making me feel better for a little while. Because I sure as heck have no intention of draggin’ anyone else down with me.

114 Responses to “Bear Breaker”
  1. Imalinata says:

    The last time I tried tanking on my druid was in Karazhan and, let me tell you, that banished mob wasn’t going ANYWHERE!

    I enjoy reading what you write, not because of the topics you choose to write on, but because of how witty and articulate you are. I enjoy the stories from when you were a marine, what you did with Alex, what Cassie is up to, and all the other stuff that you write about that does and doesn’t include WoW related items.

    I totally feel you on trying to make the game fun for other people and then internalizing it and taking it personally when it doesn’t work. I do recruitment for my guild and I constantly have the feeling that if I fail in my “job” that it will be my fault if the guild died. A raiding guild without new blood, doesn’t remain a raiding guild for very long after all. However, you faction transferred to get away from the responsibilities and crap treatment that you were experiencing with Sidhe Devils. If faction transferring didn’t help, server transfer or create a new alt and see if the anonymity makes it easier to play for yourself instead of for other people.

    But no matter what you end up doing, if you keep writing, I’m still reading.

  2. Elegantdeath says:

    Hey… We should all re-roll new toons on a server of your selection. Start a guild and see where it takes us?… I would enjoy that.

  3. Toureg says:

    It’s funny I felt the same way about WOW this December. Everytime I logged in I just felt blahh. I’ve just quit playing and haven’t logged in for 3 months now and don’t really miss it all that much. But I do still read your blog because it’s very entertaining. As you can see from the 100 comments before mine (no exagerating when I clicked on the link from feed reader it said 100 responses on the nose), many people enjoy your writting and take on life. I really enjoy the PBeM and story time.

    Hope this massive outpouring help the bear blues. I’m reminded of miricle on 34th street when they bring in all those bags of letters to santa.

  4. caliokiegirl says:

    /bigbearhug
    I feel first and foremost you should do what is healing for you, and if the rest of us get benefit from it that’s great. I am relatively new to the game(I’ve only been playing WOW for about a year and half), and I have come to realize that I’m my worst judge. We all get that feeling of I’m not good enough, or I need to be a better player, and that’s why we seek out blogs and websites to better ourselves as players. I understand about the grouping and guild issues. My fiance and I quit doing random groups and trying to get guildies to run dungeons, after dealing with disaster after disaster trying to do Mauradon. We rolled hunters just so we could do dungeons as a pair, and avoid the backbiting and everytime you turn around someone is leaving the group mid instance. I have come to realize that the wonderful part of WOW is the worst part of WOW. I just treat it as if I was going back to high school. The social structure is about the same, and the groups are about the same, which viewed with the wisdom of being older is much more humorous now. I really have to work at not taking things and people to seriously, and view the game as it should be a game. I help as much as I can, and do my best not to hinder others. The rest I take with a grain of salt. I enjoy your blog, because you emulate the true spirit of the Druid. We are different from any other class. We claw, swipe, and maul, what’s better than that? Don’t give up on yourself whatever you choose to do, and you must realize all the people who support you. We love you man!!!!!!

  5. Juarnek says:

    BBB,

    I know how you feel. I am a high school teacher, and I look forward to reading this post every day during my prep. I had the same feeling about WoW a couple of months ago, and spent money to do faction changes to try and get away from the BS. Shoulda built an alt… found out the same thing was happening on the Horde side too. I started reading your post because I wanted to roll a druid, but now read it for the experience. You have a style of writing that appeals to me, and I will be reading your posts if you continue. If not, I wish you the best.

    Juarnek – Underbog US

  6. Stupid Mage says:

    So uh…..
    How DO you pick good tomatoes at the market?

  7. Kasdingo says:

    As many have said before me, as long as you feel like writing, I’ll be here daily to read up.

  8. Sahele says:

    I found you when I was searching for facts about bear tanks but I kept on reading for other reasons. I found a lot of informative blogs but yours are the only one I’ve actually kept reading. I simply like reading your posts, really no matter the subject. In the beginning I did prefeer WoW-related stories and I sure didn’t mind all the information you’ve shared but by now I happily read any post (even if I still might prefer your stories about what’s been happening in-game).
    I like the way you write, how you put your thoughts into words that we can read and understand. I like how you tell a story, how you think and how you’ve let us into your life.
    Write as long as you like and when you like. You can be sure to have readers no matter the actual subject. If you don’t want to write, don’t write, it’s your decision not ours, as I’m pretty sure you know ;) But we will miss you.

    Sincerely
    Sah

  9. HerrDrache says:

    My $.02 (adjust for inflation/deflation): I’ve found your blog when I leveled a kitty-bear, trying to find bear advice. Well, not only did I get bear advice, but also all kinds of other wonderful blog posts from you!
    I hardly play the druid anymore – between warrior tanking and pally tanking she’s basically down to picking herbs and skinning careless NPCs, but I still come back to your blog at least once a week, eagerly reading your posts. All of them.
    See, I’m turning into a grumpy old man myself, I *still* don’t have the pug-pet, because I loathe pugging. Reading your more sarcastic/cynical posts makes me feel less alone! I like your writing style. I like the puns (even the bad ones). Heck, I even like to read about your non-WoW posts. I’ve been guild leader trying to motivate my raiders. Trying to get them to do stuff on the website(s). Failing at it. Apparently I’m not alone :)
    So, well, what do I get out of your blog? Good reading. A chuckle every now and then – usually not more than 3-5 per post, though. Some “God, I can SO relate, BBB!”. Some “Thanks, I’m not alone”. Some “WTF, I’m glad *that* never happened to me”. Some “wow, that’s awesome”..
    I’d dare say that even if you change the blog entirely and exclusively blog about your life, wife, and offspring, I’d most likely still read it. Heck, if you took it off the Internet tomorrow, I’d check the Wayback Machine to re-read your posts.

    Do what you need to do, blog about whatever you want, or don’t blog at all. I’m sure that “if you write it, it’ll be read”.

    Best wishes in whatever you do!

  10. Nightwhisp says:

    I confess that I didn’t read the other 109 comments and risk being a “me too.” Your blog and particularly your sensitivity has helpped me to develop into a much better and more compasionate player. As selfish as it sounds I hope that you don’t quit blogging. You really do offer a refreshingly differen’t voice in the WoW community.

  11. Killinglight says:

    Believe it or not BBB, you helped me understand why i enjoy staring at big bear butt when i tank and helped my gf with healing guide lines. We thouroughly enjoy reading your blogs and seeing your comments on the idiots of your battlegroup not to mention when people ask about gems/enchants for tanking. I domt have the time to put forth into the equations of how much agi do i need to hit my dodge cap. So please keep blogging and continue to help all the new bears and those aspiring bear cubs learn how their class works.

  12. Elegantdeath says:

    Me again… don’t get me wrong on my earlier post, I do realize you are tired of leading a guild. I was just thinking that I really like what you and Cassie (and us readers too!)… it would make an interesting composit for a guild (always nice to be in a social guild with cool folks). Was thinking something on the lines of selecting a new server, faction and as folks to create a new toon from a class they’ve never/minimally played. Probably not a great idea, but…

  13. Earthsong says:

    John, BBB, you have been a source of wisdom and amusement in WoW and in general. I really enjoy reading your blog.

    You can be grumpy if you like every now and again. Ill sympathize and probably agree. Your PuG posts make me feel like I’m not the only one trying to stay sane in them.

    It is very hard to find someone with your charm and eloquence.

    Its selfish but I hope your around for a long time. Cause I doubt Ill ever get tired of the with and wisdom of the Bear.

  14. Bahail says:

    If you quit your blog (unless under extreme duress, of course) I’m going to quit the internet. Don’t make me do it. I’m not joking, I will seriously quit the internet.

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