Another year has passed, and another opportunity for collecting non-combat pets (or vanity pets, or whatever you’d like to call our little friends) comes around again.

I’m embarrassed to admit that I blew this off the first couple of years on my main. I’m still chasing pets from doing Orphan quests.

This year I was fairly excited to begin the runs. I was determined this time that I’d grit my teeth and persevere through the PvP achievements to complete the overall week as one step closer to “What a Long Strange Trip”, and also, this would be the first time doing it on the Horde side.

Of course, the pets you can get are the same, but I’d never dragged the Orphan around Barrens before.

It didn’t take long to complete both Shattrath and Orgrimmar Orphan quest chains. I ate a bunch of sweets in front of a wanna-be rocking Blood Elf brat, and I even killed a King in front of her.

Not exactly sure what message I’m supposed to be trying to send her by killing a King before her very green eyes. That this too must pass? That no matter how important you are, a dagger between the shoulder blades will really crimp your style? That 5 max level and geared players can kick one person’s butt if you all gang up on him at the same time?

Hmm. Those are all pretty good lessons to learn after all.

Regardless, I turned in the Orphan chains, I completed all the quests, and picked two new pets, leaving only one more left to collect next year, Mr. Wiggles. What can I say, if I get a pet pig, it’ll be bacon a week later. Might as well leave him for last, prolong the pleasure of anticipating a fine lunch.

So, every achievement except the PvP ones are done, every Orphan quest chain except the Oracles turned in. Time to go to Dalaran, right?

I was well prepared for the PvP. Thanks to Cynwise’s outstanding guide to the event, I felt that I had at least a fighting chance to get it all done… IF I started early, of course. And if I went in prepared and determined to kick ass.

All set, ready to rock, queued for Arathi Basin and gonna kick some massive Gnome butt.

47 minutes in queue for AB later, and it pops…

1 minute after I finally decided to turn in the Orgrimmar orphan, and 2 minutes before I would have picked up the Dalaran Orphan chain. Or thought I would have.

Not the most auspicious of beginnings.

Okay, this time I’m going to make damn sure I’ve got my Orphan, and THEN I’ll queue. I just didn’t expect the delayed queue for a BG when PvP was a big part of Children’s Week achievements.

Off to Dalaran, and I talk to the fine lady who provides such a wonderful parenting example, as the Oracle and Wolvar children chase around, trying to kill each other.

She… she doesn’t want to entrust me with an Oracle orphan. /shocked!

I is a sad bear. But… but I can be good to him! Is true! Why wouldn’t you trust me? Look at this huge horny face! How could you not trust these horns!

And I really need that kid, lady, because there is this massive war going on between Horde and Alliance, and I need some little kid following me around, to watch me carve my name into the shattered, broken carcasses of a million little gnome bodies…

Hmmm. The light, it begins to dawn.

Okay, next time, I don’t mention Battlegrounds. And I hide the massive Harpoon I carry around. It needs the blood cleaned off again, anyway, before it rusts. And, umm, the armor. Okay, so it smells. I’ll clean it next time, I know how that Ick stench really does penetrate leather, but hell, after a few weeks of wearing it without a bath, you kinda stop noticing. 

I made some inquiries, and now the word is that it’s just a mistake. That really, the Orphan lady is supposed to be willing to talk to me, but that she might just be confused after the, um, good job I did watching that Wolvar brat last September.

Hopefully, she’ll get the word from on high that, no, really, it’s okay, his clothes were just in for cleaning, that’s why I turned him in naked (hey, he had some fur left! And the burns will fade sooner or later, the little crybaby. Won’t kill steal my ass.) and I already TOLD her he had those bruises when I got him, and oh yeah, it was his fault in the first place, I TOLD him not to stand that close to the edge of Aldor Rise. And by the way, what kind of a kid just runs right off the edge when you’re flying over in flight form?

And sure, so he got a little nibbled when I was fishing up Bull Lion fish for the Kalu’ak, I didn’t expect the kid to just leap in the water and swim after me. And boy, who knew the kid could swim that fast? No matter how far out into the ocean amongst the sharks and icebergs, no matter how fast I turned around, there he was, moving like a little furry torpedo. If he wanted to keep those toes, he should have used the shark repellant.

Ah well. I’m sure she’ll talk to me again. Just as soon as the bribes kick in.

Until then, I’ll be lonely and sad, for there are gnomes to extinguish, and it’s just no fun without an audience!

29 Responses to “Limping into Children’s Week”
  1. Joel says:

    This was a fun writeup of the orphan achievements.

    You can ask the orphan matrons for a whistle even after you’ve completed their quests, so you can continue to traumatize the young orcs and blood elves for the rest of the week. Have fun!

  2. Gryphonheart says:

    You should be able to talk to the Orgrimmar and/or Shattrath orphan matrons to get a new whistle, even after you’ve completed the quests. That way you can still do your achievements.
    .-= Gryphonheart´s last blog ..BlizzCon 2010 Goodie Bag Product Ideas =-.

  3. slopoke says:

    Not sure if you know this, but you can go back to the Org matron, and if you ask nice she will give you a whistle for the rest of Children’s Week, so that you can drag an orcish orphan into the BGs while you wait on the Oracle fix.

  4. Tulsplat says:

    Aye, just talk to Orgrimmar matron for a new whistle. Also, you can queue for multiple battlegrounds at once, which might help your queue times (assuming you need more than just the AB one for Hard Knocks)

  5. bigbearbutt says:

    Nope, didn’t know that.

  6. Minos says:

    The Argent Gruntling may make an acceptable substitute for your battleground exhibitionism.

  7. FaceTankingForFunAndProfit says:

    I was pleasantly surprised at the level of cooperation between factions this year. It seems like every battleground I went in to each side wanted to get their achievements done before any pvp began. Horde and alliance would do /wait a bunch and then drop flags/cap towers so the other side could assault them. I have never ever seen this before. I managed to get the achievement that I was worried about done with just 4 total bgs.

  8. Erthshade says:

    The level of cooperation is great (except in EotS, then it’s pretty much every bull for himself), except for a few douchebags on each side that are there to pvp and ruin everyone else’s ability to get the achievements. I can’t count the number of jerks who kept killing the alliance who were just at the bunkers/flags to help allow recapping.

    Hint to all you pvp maniacs out there who do this: you’re just making it harder on yourselves. Let me get my achievement and you will never have to put up with me in your precious battlegrounds again.

  9. Fangtastic says:

    Haha @ “few douchebags on each side that are there to pvp and ruin everyone else’s ability to get the achievements.”

    I am not very good at PVP and am dreading this achievement on my mage, but you sound like you expect to be handed the achievement for just showing up… its not a quest, its an achievement. One of the tougher ones intentionally (stupidly?) put there by Blizzard to gate the number of people completing the meta-achievement.

    Suck it up and grin, we achievement seekers are the odd ones out in the BG – the PVPers are just doing what they queued up to do. Most of the hard core PVPers are on a sabbatical this week anyway! :D

  10. Erthshade says:

    It’s hard to believe I’m the odd one out when out of 40 people in AV, there’s 5 guys killing the alliance who are recapping bunkers, everyone else is standing around the flags waiting for a recap.

  11. Rauxis says:

    Similar encounter in WSG – group of 3 Allies came to a visit into the Horde base, took up the flag, dropped it again and everyone got their achievement. Things became REALLY nice when someone made a campfire and 2 feral bears started dancing. Until a late bloomer wanted to crash the party and attacked the elven shadow priestess. Unfortunately he had not anticipated the Moonkin on the roof raining wrath onto him, he died quickly (but in pain).

    then he complained in chat why no one had helped him. Sorry pal, we were watching the bears …..

    Rauxis, chosen of CAT

  12. Kobay says:

    I have to say that out of the 4 tasks needed to grab this achievement, only returning the flag in WSG felt like an accomplishment. Because that was the only BG I went into where nobody was helping me.

    (Well, it’s possible that my fellow Hordies held off on prying the flag out of that Gnome Warlock’s tiny, cold, dead hands because they saw my Orphan out. But I earned that kill by running him down before he could get out of the tunnel. None of this “I’ll grab the flag and drop it for you” that I’ve heard about in other places.)

    At the same time, I would like to thank the NE Druid in the Cyclone battlegroup I ran across in AB. He was Prowling by the flag at the Lumber Mill in a match that the Alliance was sure to win. Seeing the flag “unguarded” (I was sure a rogue was nearby, just waiting for a tasty bit of nooblet like me) I began my assault. The Druid was tearing me to pieces in a flash when suddenly he stopped. he took a few steps backwards and allowed me to capture the node. Once the flag changed and he saw me get the achievement, he pounced and finished the job.

    Elune’s blessing be with you, my floppy eared brother. Thanks for getting me one step closer to Super-Duper Swift Flight Form.

  13. @fangtastic – we all understand it’s supposed to be difficult, but there’s a problem: if you are in a “bad” battlegroup (ie, your opposing faction outnumbers/gears/PvPs your faction), it is likely you will NEVER have the chance for the meta-achie. The AV and AB requirements aren’t *that* bad, but the EotS and WSG tasks are brutal if you aren’t on a good battlegroup.

    On my old Battlegroup (Velen/Retaliation) I haven’t been on a winning team in WSG in *months*. We routinely lost 0-3, without a single flag return. I have only seen ONE flag cap by the alliance on EotS, in my times there.

    That’s not just bad RNG, that’s basically putting folks in an impossible position. And that’s bad game design, PERIOD.

    I really want the protodrake, so I paid for (and got) a server transferred last night to have a better chance. Then again, maybe this “bad design” is just an attempt to milk players out of money?
    .-= SlikRX/Balthazario´s last blog ..I’m a-Leavin’… On a Jet Plane!! (or a server X-Fer) =-.

  14. Big Heals says:

    I would like to thank the alliance for swarming the center of EOS and letting me and my Horde buddies get Perfect Storm. Hard to cap a flag when you don’t own any bases.
    .-= Big Heals´s last blog ..New 80 looking for Naxx guild… want to enjoy tier progression… =-.

  15. Glad you found the guide helpful! The only BG that seems to be giving people trouble this year is Eye of the Storm, and let’s face it — that one gives people trouble every other week of the year, too. Just keep at it and I’m sure you’ll get it.

    Best of luck to you in the battlegrounds!
    .-= Cynwise of Stormwind´s last blog ..A Vicious Proposal =-.

  16. Pazi says:

    Did the pvp-achievement on my hunter this sunday, which was the last remaining of all the world-event-achievements (also got the achivement for three orphan-week-pets). No, there was no cooperation, even among my own team. There was only pure hate. I blame Blizzard forcing me to let this little kid see all this. Those 6 hourse of pvp (did I mention that I hate, _HATE_, pvp?) were the worst in my entire life (not even RL had such bad moments). I’m in the process of regaining trust in other human beings… and I won’t play my hunter for at least a month even tho he has that shiny new protodrake. I rerolled a holy dwarf priest who will never do any achievements on purpose.

  17. Aggrazel says:

    Some tips on eye of storm, since it seems to be the one most PvE’ers aren’t getting.

    You need to capture towers before you can capture the flag. If you’re working with a good group, have one group capture a tower (stand near it for long enough and you’ll capture it) and another group hold the flag point. Then send the flag guy or flag team (preist, paly works good for this, preferably with pvp gear) back and forth, and have them drop the flag before they get to the tower and give it to the person who needs the achievement.

    Also if the opposing faction isn’t being very helpful, you’ll have to capture two towers, otherwise they will really hammer you at your only tower.

    I only say these things because too many times I’ve rolled into eye of storm just to have everyone pull out their orphans, roll to the flag point, and ignore the towers.

  18. Nimizar says:

    Queued up for EotS tonight. Popped pretty quickly. Summoned my orphan before the bubble opened, mounted up ready to go for the flag.

    Was a bit slow getting moving, other Alliance got there first. But wait, horde got there too, fight started, nobody able to grab the flag yet.

    In a lull in the battle, I manage to pick it up and run for Mage Tower, explaining to someone else in whispers that I was there for the achievement as well, so no, I wasn’t going to give them the flag.

    Getting close to the tower, thinking “Couldn’t they see my orphan following me?” promptly followed by “Wait, where’d my orphan go?”.

    Stop running to resummon, just as I get to the tower and the achievement pops up for getting my first EotS flag cap since the achievement system came into existence.

    /cry

    Persisted with that battle and a few more before server maintenance started, but no luck. There’s something in me that forces me to at least *try* to play the BG properly, which usually doesn’t involve pointlessly assaulting a heavily camped flag just for an achievement :P

    Still, it did remind me that I actually quite like BGs – I’m not that great at PvP, but plenty of people are worse (since I at least know roughly what I am *meant* to be doing, even if my execution is poor), and in a BG you’re usually not twiddling your thumbs for more than 30 seconds if you die.

  19. Fangtastic says:

    @Slik

    I’m in the retaliation battle group and it seems to be pretty balanced, we win as many as we lose overall. Some nights we can’t seem to win a single one, others we are on a winning streak. Trying at different hours might help to you avoid playing at the same time as the hardcore PVPers.

    For me, EOTS was the easiest (got very lucky last night, two caps, my orphan was impressed!), WSG continues to be a nightmare (still not done yet) and AV/AB are just a matter of time.

    I hope it works out for you on your new battlegroup.

  20. mist says:

    I hate pvp with a passion. I will not even duel anyone. And here I am in EoS trying for the second year to get this achievement. I have everything else done. I went to the effort of learning how to win so that my pvping friends could get their bg done. But I cannot seem to get this one accomplished.

    In AV the horde and alliance helped each other, taking turns and letting everyone get their achievement. Oh we had the hard core group who were complaining but we got it done.

    Then on to EoS… over and over and over. I learned to make sure we had a tower or 2 before even trying for the flag. But the flag eluded me.

    I know there are those out there who abhor seeing me out there. Let me get the flag and I will be out of your hair forever. I am even considering trying to get some pvp gear (I have none) and tweaking my spec to be able to last long enough to get to the tower should I ever happen to get the flag.

    I do have to admit that claiming the towers is a bit of fun. Who knows… maybe I will become a bg convert after doing this all week.

  21. Killinglight says:

    Oodly enogh on my battlegroup eye, ab, and wsg are easy to get…av is giving me alot of grief tho

  22. jon marc says:

    i did the non-achievement for orphan week. as in, “what, me, orphan?”
    it’s biz as usual, mon, what do i care for an orphan or a dozen?
    .-= jon marc´s last blog ..prof – the long hard grind =-.

  23. Krulla says:

    I’m one of “the douchebags there to pvp” – I’ve had people log on to Horde alts to whisper me after killing them when they were staying in the WSG flag room, repeatedly dropping the flag so people could return it. The thing is, there are other achieves in this game that are just as valid as SoHK – one of these is to return a certain number of flags in a single battle without dying, another is to get twenty killing blows in a BG without dying, and so on. Is there any reason why I shouldn’t ‘exploit’ this holiday to make these difficult achieves easier to get, in the same way that people are going against the battleground mechanic to get SoHK?

    Why is it considered OK for people who don’t enjoy PVP to come into a battleground and destroy the mechanics of that BG in order to get their achievement, whereas someone carrying out perfectly valid battleground strategies is lambasted and considered a griefer?

    What makes your goals more important than mine?

  24. Erthshade says:

    When there’s an achievement that requires you to go into a raid and do something completely stupid like stand in a fire not for the benefit of the group but for your own personal gain, I will feel your pvper pain.

    Yes, I realize the achievement asks you to do some things that are completely against proper strategy for these battlegrounds. I also realize that if you can’t realize this will only impact your battlegrounds for maybe 5 days out of the year leaving 360 to do your preferred killing, and actually be a decent human being enough to help or at least not hinder someone who’s trying to get their achievement done and get the hell out of your way, I don’t want to deal with your culture, but I have to.

    This is a bad achievement, not because it makes you go pvp but because you’re fighting your own side most of the time in order to do it, which makes no sense whatsoever.

  25. Krulla says:

    OK, I’m going to play devil’s advocate here because it’s in my contrary nature to do so :)

    With the exception of the Eye of the Storm requirement, none of the SoHK can be equated to standing in the fire in a raid. WSG flag returns, AV tower captures, and AB flag caps are all very good strategies. In fact, I wish they happened *more* in battlegrounds – this week has seen more people fighting at the flag in AB than would ever normally happen.

    My point of contention is that, as somebody that enjoys battlegrounds, I also have achievements that I would like to earn. Some of those achievements are very very hard, eg Ironman (20 killing blows without dying). Why shouldn’t I take advantage of this holiday to work towards earning those achivements? In particular, why do people feel they have the right to tell me not to do so? You want to earn your achievement in the easiest way possible, and so do I.

    I’ve been helping people *in my faction* by dropping flags for them to capture, or holding bases so that people actually have somewhere to return a flag to, but there’s no way that I’m going to deliberately work against the mechanic of a battleground to aid the *opposite faction*. That goes against the very purpose of the competitive environment that is a PvP battleground. However, I’ve been insulted, /spit on, etc all through this week, not just by the oppostion but by members of my own team.

    Where is this sense of entitlement coming from? As a PvP player, I don’t have the “required” (over)gear to be accepted into PvE raids. I’m not even allowed to join the groups, let alone be given a chance to prove myself. I can’t expect people to carry me through raids just so I can earn an achievement. Why then are people essentialy asking for this in PvP? To put it another way, if you’d be ‘a decent human being’ then you’d allow me to join the Naxx weekly for 20 minutes so I can get 5 frost badges, then I’d ‘get the hell out of your way’. I could help with the DPS, in the same way that people can help in a battleground by calling out incoming attacks or flag watching.

  26. Pazi says:

    @Krulla: The difference is that you have 365 days to get your pvp-achievements, while this achievement is only doable within this week and some people can only invest time on weekends so its down to 2 days, TWO DAYS, get that???

    And no, 40 people just trying to attack a tower in AV isn’t helpfull at all, neither is 15 people trying to attack a flag in AB or 15 people standing in there own flag-room waiting for the opposite faction to capture the flag so they can attack them or 15 people zerging the flag in EoS. No these achievement aren’t helpfull at all, not with the stress to do them all in a short time, this week.

  27. Krulla says:

    Last post as this will just go round and round – if you want to throw matches and cheat the game mechanic to get the achievement, do it in a premade group. It honestly can’t be that hard, lots of people want it. I guess the downside is that this will require a modicum of co-operation, which goes against the grain of your achievement being the only important thing and screw everyone else, but if you can organise a PuG raid then you can surely get a few people to stand in the WSG flag room for 10 minutes. You don’t even have to worry about winning the match.

    What is totally unreasonable is to enter a match with no intention of playing the game the way it was intended – yes, you want your achievement and have limited time to get it, but this does not mean that everyone else involved should bend their expectations to match yours.

    TL;DR – you can organise a PuG raid, do the same for a battleground.

  28. Kelwind says:

    Just a side note – while not being able to get the Dalaran orphan may seem to put a crimp in things, the Matron in Stormwind will give you another orphan whistle if you ask…

  29. Kelwind says:

    Um… blast. It appears I was wrong. While the dialog option appears, you can’t get the whistle again if you’ve finished the quest. Boo.

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