How’s that for a post title?

As I was reading some of the wonderful comments on the CC post from last night, my eyes happened to fall upon one particular comment, and I felt almost physically struck with inspiration. It was like a blow to the brain that went right past all the ineffectual content filters, and woke up the cells devoted to pure evil.

It was a comment from Melfina the Blue, writer of The WoW Noob.

Therefore, all blame for the aftermath can be laid 100% at her feet. Blame her, not me!

To quote Melfina;

I would like to see CC come back, but there would need to be a way to brute-force the encounter as well. Otherwise the Sanity Tap (dungeon finder) is just going to be more painful and I’m going to get blamed for many more wipes. Why is it always the healer’s fault? Sigh. There’s only so much stupid I can heal through.

I read that, and a vision formed in my brain. It was so clear, so pure… it shone as if with an inner light. It had remarkable clarity… as if viewed in 1080p.

I saw a t-shirt. And on the shirt, there were three figures.

In the foreground stood two figures.

One was clearly a healing Priest due to the lack of shadowy purplishness and the distinctive halo of her PvP set. She stood there, arms up in a “What can I tell you” pose, shoulders in full shrug, shaking her head no.

The Priest faced a bulky plate wearer, probably some kind of tank, who turned a desperate, pleading gaze to the Priest, as if begging.

In the distant background, you can see someone in a panic, arms waving  around wildly, sinking (or melting) into a puddle of green ooze representing every damn thing you’re not supposed to stand in, in every raid there ever was.

I’d suggest we make him a Hunter type, that’s what I saw in my vision, but I think we’ve had enough class rivalry lately, even as a joke. Just because I’ve got about three different Hunters at this point is no reason to assume anyone else would realise it was a joke, and not the perpetuation of a stereotype. So we’ll just call him “clueless joe”, dress him however we’d like, and have no weapon visible. Leave it up to the interpretation of the viewer.

The caption… the caption overhead is a word balloon from the Priest, and she’s saying to the plate wearer;

“I’m sorry, but I can’t heal through stupid.”

Yeah, I know… it’s not a picture worth 500 words to describe, but then again… damn, I’d wear that shirt OUT.

It’s the things you folks say that burn in my little brain that makes this so rewarding. You are the wind… the wind beneath my evil little bat wings.

40 Responses to “You are the wind beneath my wings…”
  1. Sarabian says:

    I will buy 2 of those shirts so I can wear one while the other is being washed! MAKE IT!!

  2. bigbearbutt says:

    I’m going to try, using the WoW Model Viewer, but damn, seriously, my Photoshop skills are non-existant. I write, and that not very well. Drawing, painting, skethcing, any kind of art is the fail if my hands are on it.

    The only painting I do is on walls. With rollers at that, since Cassie doesn’t trust me with a brush in my hands after what happened last time, to the cat.

  3. Phelps says:

    You could even go simpler, and just put a big purple void patch in the middle, with the words “you can’t heal through stupid” in the middle of the circle.

    And the dpser would HAVE to be a lock.

  4. Dechion says:

    For even less class rivalry simply have one hand reaching up from said pile of ooze, somehow making the pose of it say “CluelessJoe cries out for healing”

  5. Tufva says:

    AWESOME! GIEF! NAOW! ;-D

  6. Jenna says:

    “And the dpser would HAVE to be a lock.”

    *runs off to cry and eat babies*

    (I hate other warlocks simply because … well… yes… they usually pack a whole lot of stupid. Meanwhile they are asking me “lol y is ur dps so low”. BECAUSE I GOT OUT OF THE STUFF! /sob)

    I… would also wear such a shirt. Being a healer/tank sympathizer, and being DPS… getting to see all the dumb from a zoomed out PoV.

  7. Minos says:

    For bonus points, the ooze should be on fire. Hunter or warlock for the victim would be extra funny because of the pet/demon looking on helplessly.

  8. Chaninn says:

    Please can I have some??? Some shirts of this??? Please?

  9. Kattrinsaa says:

    Dude, this is one for jinx.com.. man I wish i were an artist.. i can’t even draw decent stick figures.. maybe pike could help….

  10. Averna says:

    Make it! Do it! I would so totally buy that.

    PS -I’m mentioning you in my next blog post. =D

  11. Maritime says:

    My only issue, as a tank, is I can’t imagine the tank that would have that pleading look. Smug satisfaction would be more like it.

  12. bigbearbutt says:

    Dechion, your suggestion is what the correct form should be… you’re right, an anonymous arm reaching out of the ooze, flailing around says it all.

    Maritime, you’ve got a point, except that I don’t see a tank being mad at the healer for letting the idiot die, I see the tank more pleading with the healer, “Hey, I KNOW he’s an idiot, but please, can’t you heal him just this one time?”

    Averna… awwwww. :)

    Katt… I actually picture this as drawn in the style of Kelly Meeks and Drew Manser of Daily Quest webcomic fame. I love their Belf Priest and Paladin hijinks. http://daily-quests.com/comic/

    Too bad I don’t actually know them, if they did the design and put it up for sale on their website, i would so totally shoo everyone plus me off to buy it.

  13. Naturalregis says:

    From recent PuG experience, the faltering DPS’er would be a DK that loves to bathe in Krick & Ick’s explosions.

  14. Sarai says:

    I will soooo wear that shirt. In fact, I’ll probably get one for my sister too! >.>

  15. Neart says:

    Another great quote that came to mind I saw on the forums “It was simple mana conservation, it was more efficient to rez you then to keep healing your dumb ass”

  16. Reversion says:

    Well I only do stick figures but…

  17. Urak says:

    I actually have a Macro that says ‘Fellow adventurers. Please realize that I cannot heal through stoopid. If the floor starts hating you, MOVE. Thank you for your time.’ I always start every pug with ‘Hey all’ and my Stoopid Macro.

  18. Analogue says:

    That was awesome, I had to make Reversion doodle that one: Can’t cure stupid…

  19. bigbearbutt says:

    I actually just tabbed back from laughing and cheering at Reversion’s drawing…

  20. bigbearbutt says:

    Oh yeah, and it’s true, I *DO* click on people’s names when they link to somewhere.

    Someday, somebody’s gonna nail with a virus that way. But I see some pretty great blogs that way.

  21. TJGypsy2 says:

    You should totally hold some kind of contest to get someone to draw that, and put it on a shirt. I’d wear that in a heartbeat! Classic idea, bear.

    P.S. If you find the shirt somewhere, make sure to share the link love so we can get one, too. :)

  22. Mugician13 says:

    I would totally buy that shirt…

    And… on the one hand, on behalf of Huntery-types everywhere, fuck you. On the other… if you don’t make the flailing incompetent a hunter, it’ll probably lose a lot of the funny. ;)

    Regards,
    Jajiko & Kali, Sentinels server

  23. Taeraresh says:

    If you make one, I’ll buy it.
    Today’s ‘fun’ was a tank and both of the other DPS failing to get out of the Bad Stuff. I hate having to switch to bear mid-combat to save our asses, even though I love having the capability to do it.

  24. Dag says:

    O.K. some one seriously needs to send Jinx that idea because like many others I would have a closet full of those.

  25. bigbearbutt says:

    What’s funny to me is how often the name Jinx turns up.

    When I think “WoW shirts I’d actually want to wear”, Jinx is the last name I’d think of. My shirts are all from other bloggers, basically… including myself. :)

    Okay, except the Rogue – Original ganksta.

    So, they had a great design 5 years ago. What have they done that was original and good lately?

  26. HerrDrache says:

    Alternate headings that came to my mind:

    “Taunt was on CD”

    “Vanish/Feign/Bubble?”

    “GTFO STUFF!”

  27. Opalassa says:

    If you make it I know of several people that would buy it. As far as Jinx goes, their designs tend to be hit or miss, though I just had to have their Druid Legendary Class shirt.

  28. bigbearbutt says:

    I know I shouldn’t trash Jinx, I got Cassie to buy me one of the Druid shirts from them also, it’s cool AND tasteful!

    But that’s just it. It’s… careful. A shirt designed to appeal, but be entirely appropriate to wear to your family reunion.

    They’ve got the official license from WoW to make shirts, and it just seems like that means they can’t actually have a sense of humor, or dare to be extreme, it’s all “WoW shirts is srs bsnss”.

    If you play WoW and deal with the reality of Trade Chat for 5 minutes, you’ve GOT to have a sense of humor. Shirts displaying your irritation or frustration with idiots is never out of style. If you’re as serious and stuffy as Jinx’s shirt designs make us out to be, you’d blow an artery during a conniption fit within a half hour.

  29. Kattrinsaa says:

    There should be at least three varieties of this shirt, the purple pool with a hand sticking up as the basic design, the difference is in what’s in the hand. have one holding a gun/bow, one holding a sword/axe/spear, and one holding a staff/wand.

  30. Qwicksylver says:

    I was think the shirt could have 5 people on it.

    A tank standing by himself looking confused with now one around him.

    A hunter standing in a blaze of fire while shooting a mob being fighting with a two handed wielding warrior/pally/dk

    and a mage/lock in their aoe pose with 8 mobs circling them.

    The whole time the healer just shrugs with a “what could i do look.”

  31. Qwicksylver says:

    Oh yeah BTW I really wanna buy one of the Tank with my face shirts.

    Although I had thought of a new one.

    You have a
    the words I tank with …

    A paladin and warrior with shields above there heads, A dk with a two and a bear with….. about it then on back is a bear face that says FACE.

  32. niceas says:

    Heh – at the rate this is going, there’ll be a whole range.

    I see a picture of:

    the healer looking up at several huge nasties, the DPS all dead nearby, and the tank blissfully tanking a single mob…

    the healer talking on a cellphone with the tank looking out (with one arm sticking out in a plea for assistance) of one of the looney-toons tasmanian devil ‘whirlwinds’ (don’t know how else to describe it)…

  33. Paegan says:

    This is a cool idea and i like the ideas people have thrown in aswell.

    Think if it were me, i’d go for the tank giving the healer a questioning look as they have 3 piles of smoking ash at their feet. the healer and slogan as per BBB :D

  34. caliokiegirl says:

    Since this seems to be a brainstorming session, and I think I qualify having a feral druid, disc priest, and a BM hunter. I’ve seen all kinds of stupid from the magetank(you’ve got to be kidding me), to the warlock, who thought he was a paladin. What I think would be great, would be the puddle of ooze with a chain armored arm and hand reaching out, this would cover most of our favorite dpsers. I love the priest, tank looking at each other, to classic, and the pile of ash with a imp or hellhound looking at it in despair. I would order that shirt in a heartbeat.

  35. Chett says:

    Your third character should have a Lance equipped. I just love to see one of my random LFD mates with a Lance equipped for the entire Heroic…

  36. Jabouty says:

    Ask and you shall receive.

    It got me thinking, and I decided (since I’m at training and have to be up until 4am each day) to see if I could put something together using WoW Model Viewer, GIMP (my lappy can’t handle anything more powerful) and unsuspecting guildies. :D

    You *should* be able to view the image via the link below, if not I’ll upload it to an img hosting service.

    You Can’t Heal Stupid

  37. Mav says:

    Y’all mean something like this? http://twistednether.spreadshirt.com/can-t-heal-stupid-A4539272/?

    TNB has been selling this for awhile now…at least I keep hearing about it on their podcast all the time.

  38. bigbearbutt says:

    Jabouty…. holy crap, that is almost EXACTLY what my mental image was of!!!!!

    AWESOME!!!!

    Now I just need to figure out how to make it a shirt… all that background, with Lady Deathwhisper, looks cool but would make a shirt look messy.

    Definitely gonna be my new desktop background.

  39. bigbearbutt says:

    Crystaltech, how did I miss your comment? I love your picture! Ragnaros makes a perfect backdrop!

    Hehe, how cool. Especially with the dead player calling for heals. How appropriate.

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