Or does this count as a post?

No, no it doesn’t.

Hey, how about that Top Chef last night?

Bravo Channel, you’ve got a nice show there, we enjoy it.

One little ‘ing thing though….

When it’s 5 minutes to the end, and you do the traditional (and totally bullshit) “And the person leaving is…” and then instantly cut to commercial?

Here’s a ‘ing clue, you stupid sacks of shit.

How’s about, during that commercial break, you DON’T SHOW SCENES FROM NEXT WEEKS FINALE, SHOWING US WHICH CHEFS ARE ‘ING LEFT?!?!?!

It kinda, you know…. ruins the surprise? ‘ing ‘ell?

Or do you think that, if we watch your show, we’re too ‘ing stupid to be able to reason through the byzantine logic “well, dur, if that one is in a scene, and that one is in a scene, and that one had immunity, then I wonder which one gets cut after the break? Dur….”

Oh, and yes, I loved the whole bit in Terry Pratchett’s book “The Truth”, where the big stupid one of the two bad guys patterned off of Samuel Jackson and John Travolta’s roles in Pulp Fiction kept saying “‘ing”, all the way through, as though the book was too gentile to say “fucking”… and later on someone asked why the idiot kept saying ing all the time, and is that a foreign word?

You thought it if you read it, I know you did, “I wonder what the other people think when they hear him say that.” Well, that question gets answered. I loved that bit.

Also, I don’t have a physical potato, you could say I keep a spiritual potato on me at all times. I’m covered.

Do you have your potato?

Is this a post?

Well, it ain’t a post about server culture, so it’s not what I started writing two days ago.

The big advantage this post has over that other one, though?

Hey, you’re actually reading this one. Woo.

Lightning Round; I need a few more guild sigs on Kael’thas Horde side to set up the charity event guild on that side of da server. If you happen to be bored Thursday night, pop on a blood elf alt (or visit the blood elf starter area) on Kael’thas around 6 server time, and look for Bigbearbutt. I need 4 more sigs, but it’s late now and I’m pooped. As soon as I get ‘em tomorrow, I’m probably off to bed too.

Final thought for the night…

Yes, I know the Trolls talk the common speech of the Horde with a heavy accent.

Can anyone explain to me, anyone at all, WHY the hell they WRITE with an accent?

Seriously, go look at that poster calling for the unwarranted assassination of the freedom loving leader, Zalazane.

“Liberate da isles mon, Honor de Ancestors, join da fight”.

Are you serious? They not only speak with a heavy accent, but they write with it too?

Funniest moment in a book series, for me, that hangs with me as a great ‘twang’ on the noses of fantasy and sci-fi writers, was in the Sten series by Chris Bunch and Allen Cole, when Sten’s best pal Alex Kilgour, a massive brawny man from a heavy gravity world settled by Scots, a man who spends 4 books having his spoken sentences written in a heavy, sometimes nearly undecipherable scottish accent, writes Sten a letter… and halfway through the exquisitely penned missive, Sten has to stop and go back to check who it’s from again, and then laughs to himself that, of course, Alex wouldn’t be writing him a letter with a mispelled accent.

I guess you’d have to have been there. Shit, I’m still chuckling.

Okay, I guess that’s a post. Score!

Gnomer and out!

21 Responses to “There will be a post when there is less crazy”
  1. Random Poster says:

    Ok I read all that and found it funny but the part that made me go “HOLY CRAP” was this ” was in the Sten series by Chris Bunch and Allen Cole”

    Woot someone else who has read the Sten novels. Seeing as I can never seem to find reprints of them as I lost a large portion of my book collection in a fire. Not sure if its so hard to find because I live in BFE or if I have just been unlucky, but the Sten novels have always been one of my favorites due to their excellent combination of wry humor and excellent action.

  2. Eberron of Ravenholdt says:

    What you don’t realize, 3B, is that poster was drawn up by an artisticly inclined but not too bright scribe in Orgimmar.

    He failed to realize that the trolls weren’t speaking those words literally.

    Orphan Matron Battlewail has been seen taking time away from the younglings lately to offer introductory classes in Troll-to-Orcish communications.

  3. Feralliteration says:

    It’s “genteel”. “Gentile” is an entirely other gig.

    Used in a sentence: Gentiles are genteel when they gently eat spiritual spuds.

  4. Joel says:

    I always saw them speaking a pidgin of troll and orc — kinda like the Jamaicans, who aren’t in fact speaking english, it just seems that way.

  5. Alburet says:

    I know where my towel is and I carry a spiritual tatter. So good there.
    And it’s written that way because, ummmm some people write by sounding out the word?…… Okay i’ll go with Eberron with his guess.

  6. Naturalregis says:

    Think of all the kids today that write everything as it sounds, not as how it’s properly spelled.

    I don’t think it’s that far fetched if someone learned to speak a language and then tried to write it, they would do it phonetically… and then it just kind of stuck.

    That, and it’s fun to read the “mail” out loud to yourself in a bad troll accent. Mon.

  7. bigbearbutt says:

    Feralliteration, I appreciate the effort to help me improve my writing… but I do that on purpose sometimes. It’s kinda one of the long running gags around here, I intentionally use high fallutin’ language improperly for fun, ever since I got just scorched by a grammer nazi a few years ago.

    .

    ..

    Now, if my spelling grammar “grammer” drove you nuts for a second there, I mean if that kind of thing really annoys you, you might not want to read my blog, because I will knowingly do that, just to tee off people who care more for spelling and grammatical correctness than they do for content. I know it’s mean, but hey… at least *I* don’t call Rogues “Rouge”. Although some days I’m tempted, just to see what kind of fresh hell I can generate.

    Oh, but spelling mistakes? Those are rarely on purpose. Mispellings of words are actually my brain getting crossed up, I’m slightly dyslexic. And I never, ever do spell check, as a constant personal hair shirt test to try and write and catch myself on spelling mistakes as I go, and then as I spot check myself. The spelling mistakes are 100% me screwing up, the incorrect word usage that sounds smiliar but have different meanings? The grammatical errors? Those are typically on purpose.

    Yes, I know, I’m an idiot. But damn, do I find ways to have fun writing a blog.

  8. bigbearbutt says:

    See? I misspelled “similar” in that comment, that quick, just as I’m writing about misspellings. That was a perfect example of me screwing up, and not catching it the first three times I read it through before hitting publish. Just amazing. Plus, I misspelled “Mispelled” up above, but that was on purpose.

    God, I AM an idiot.

  9. Tesh says:

    Speaking of phonetic vs. written, I’ve noted lately that a Spanish accent layered on top of English changes “lose” to “loose”. I can’t help but think this is at least part of why those words get scrambled so often on the internet.

  10. Feralliteration says:

    Hah! I’ve been reading you for a very long time now. I know you are far from being an idiot. Keep up the good work.

  11. Gnomeaggedon says:

    “Gnomer and out!”

    Which bit of this is less crazy?

    I’ve been a bad reader.. you too busy to write, me to busy to read.

    BigGnomeButt the BloodElf Mage (OMG, I rolled a blood elf… I was expecting 1,000′s of hair styles to choose from, but I just got a small back catalog of Morrissey haircuts. I’m trying to channel Jong, but all I’m getting is Morrissey) is live… and even better, Alliance side, I snaffled Gnomeaggedon (rather than Squidlysmate).

    Considering it’s 3pm server time now and I am leaving for work in an hour, I am not going to be there for guild sigs, but I’m all tooned up and ready to roll

  12. H says:

    Hey 3B

    completely offtopic for this post but — I have an heirloomed rogue in early 30s, and I know you had a lot of fun when you were levelling yours.
    I want a challenge and at the moment I mostly solo as my mates are wating on Cata, we all have new jobs and I’m on call a lot so no guild at the moment

    Other than random instances what do you think is i) a challenge and ii) fun for someone in my situtation?

    H

  13. Mannyac says:

    Funniest scene ever in a book (not sci-fi or fantasy, well not really)

    Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal (incredible book by the way, though not for the dogmatic, children or the overly sensitive)

    When you get to the Wizard of Oz, you’ll know!

  14. BenMS says:

    I thought the two guys from The Truth were an homage to the two guys from Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman, Messrs. Croup and Vandemar.

  15. Karen says:

    Oh Yes! John Ringo! – I accidentally backed into the Looking Glass series via “Claws That Catch” – immediately turned around and started at the beginning. Good thing I bought them all at once. Can. Not. Put. Them. Down. (Particularly striking since I might be classified as a “California Liberal” – not a good thing in JR’s universes.)

  16. Corwyn says:

    “Messrs. Croup and Vandemar”

    Very old archetype. I first saw them in “Diamonds are forever” Older folks will have their own firsts.

  17. Bhal says:

    Yes others do read Sten, Bunch and Cole are a good team. John Ringo is good, if you like The Looking Glass series you might try his Kildar series (military) also Von Neumann’s War (not a series but a good book). David Weber is good too, his Safehold and Dahak series are good. William C. Dietz is a good writer also.

  18. ech says:

    Ah, Top Chef. I wateched it (the Masters version) recently when a local chef got totally jobbed in the final round scoring, and didn’t advance. I then noticed a disclaimer scroll by in the end credits. I was curious, so I freeze-framed it with my DVR, and was interested to see that the scoring is determined in conjunction with the producers. In other words, if the producers want someone to advance, they will and not who the judges want.

  19. Herr Drache says:

    “Grammar Nazi” – I resemble that remark at times. I don’t mind typos or puns (intentional or not). I can live with the consistency of the Trolls – I always thought that the “written” words were essentially subtitles and therefore had to reflect the pronunciation. I can live with the emails from my dyslexic friend.

    Where I lose it is whispers, Trade, and corporate brochures. “I dun no wut flite pass!” “Wutz profeshiunz?” “We insure your satisfaction.”
    English isn’t my native tongue, I had to learn it, why can’t you? After all, you had a head start! Of course I screw up at times, but it’s a sad story when I’m the one who’s being asked to proof read at work – for all my previous employers over the past 10 years.
    I guess it’s a case of “By GOD, I had to ‘ing learn this language of yours the ‘ing hard way. Stop sitting on you ‘ing lazy arse and stop to ‘ing fail at your own language, or don’t complain if you don’t even get to ‘ing ask me if I want fries with that, because you’re flipping the ‘ing burgers in the back”.

    Disclaimer: The reference to cooks in the fast food business and the fast food industry was used as a cliché example and was not intended to insult the competent, educated, well-read and well-spoken individuals of said industry.

  20. Huufa says:

    LOL, Thanks for the laugh! I chuckled a long time after your comment about the trolls writing with an accent. I’m gonna have to pass that along.

  21. caliokiegirl says:

    @herr drache, ty i thought i was the only one that was getting disgusted over bad spelling in chat. I sometimes wonder if a preschool bought a copy of WOW, and every kid gets 20 minutes of playtime. I think it’s wonderful that you have mastered the English language as a second language. The experts say that English is the hardest language to learn especially as a second language, so I congratulate you on coming so far without giving up. Thanks BBB for all the amusing grammar. I love your blog, and read it as often as I can.

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