It finally happened. It took a long time, way too bloody long all things considered, but this Bear finally achieved one of my pre-Cataclysm goals, thanks to Cassie.

My Mage, the first and only Mage I ever created, has (as I’ve said previously) only been played as part of a team, following the lead of Cassie the Superbear.

Cassie, who, and I really can’t say this enough, has the most amazing spacial awareness of anyone I’ve ever seen. It doesn’t matter what direction I pull the mobs from with my 40 yard Ice Lance, or how many she’s already holding, she grabs the incoming mob before it’s even halfway near us.

Growl and Feral Faerie Fire on incoming mobs are your friends… and most of the time, Growl is irrelevant unless I’m just going to town. FFF does some amazing threat.

Anyway, we’ve only played these characters together, and we’ve taken so long on leveling that both our characters have the Achievement for saving a town from the Headless Horseman… from last year. :)

But I had a dream.

It was a simple dream, of modest proportions.

Nothing revolutionary, nothing to set the world on fire. But an important dream to me, nonetheless.

I dreamed of a day when I could proudly march into a field of Murlocs, transform them into Pigs, and use my powerful fire abilities to make my own Bacon, on demand.

My ice abilities, of course, would be helpful in saving leftovers. But it’s bacon; leftovers? Yeah, right. 

That was my dream. A do-it-yourself Bacon kit; just add Murloc.

Last night, my dream finally came true.

We started out the night at level 57, and I mean 57 and 1.2% into the next level. We had some quests in Un’Goro Crater on our books, but after that, we weren’t sure where to go.

We’d done some solid playing the nights before, and had managed one level per night, so I had hopes we’d see Hellfire Peninsula, or at least come darn close.

Instead, through Cassie’s dedication and tanking skills and my ability to hit a “fwoom” button, we plowed through Un’Goro, nailed 58, popped into Hellfire and blasted all the way through to 60.

I’d like to personally thank the jackass level 80 Blood Elf that helped make this possible, who waited for us to kill all the Ravagers in an area before swooping in on a broomstick to snag the egg and then fly off out of sight overhead… just to do it again on the next egg we cleared the way to. I’ve never killed so many Ravagers before when doing that silly quest, and it helped a lot.

I’m happy to say that all of the commenters on my previous post were right; while there are bugs in the Mage class quest chain that results in learning the Pig Polymorph spell, it is still in the game, and is still perfectly available.

The first bug that can be misleading is when you pick up a quest from a Mage Trainer, a quest that will send you out to find the actual quest giver in Azshara. For Alliance Mages in Stormwind, the quest was called “Magecraft”.

When picking up that quest, if you zone or log out, the quest is gone when you return. That can be very misleading; you don’t need that quest at all, you can go directly to Azshara and get the quest from the source, no pre-requisites.

The second potential bug is when you are directed to Polymorph targets in order to create polymorph clones. The quest expects you to use your Sheep spell. If you have the Penguin glyph enabled, it will bug out and crash the quest. So make sure you use Sheep.

The quest itself turned out to be very fun. Initially, it sounded like a big drag, because you have to Sheep a target, and  then after 2 to 3 seconds, the target spawns from 1 to 5 polymorph clones that look like super-teeny tiny little sheep… that are FAST as hell, take off in all directions like they’re sensitive areas were on fire, and are NOT tab targetable.

These are the things you need to kill. And you need to kill 50 of them.

My first two or three sheeps, I tried to nail the Polymorph Clones with Ice Lance, and only got one before the rest died of old age.

Next I tried Sheeping the target, and then standing on the Sheep and prepping Arcane Explosion to fire when the clones appeared. that didn’t work worth a damn, though, because they quickly rocket out of the Arcane Explosion AoE.

But finally, I simply chose to Sheep a target, and then drop an old fashioned Blizzard right on top of the sheep before the clones appeared. This broke the sheep early, but the clones appeared INSIDE the AoE and popped instantly.

That was a lot of fun!

A long night, but a merry one. The very thought of knowing that I hold the power in my hands to not only transform my enemies into Pigs, but to kill them, roast them and make delicious BLTs out of them fills me with glee. No, not that kind of Glee.

THIS… this is true power. This is the heady feeling of power that can corrupt even the mightiest of mortals.

In other news, I have four versions of Polymorph; Sheep, Pig, Turtle and Rabbit. Yes, Rabbit. I planned ahead and ground out the chocolates so I could buy the Tome of Polymorph: Rabbit during the Easter in-game event, even though I knew I couldn’t use it for about 30 levels or more. Totally worth it.

It looks like all that’s left right now is the Black Cat. There was a Turkey datamined and can be seen in WoWhead, but it lokos like it never went live. Man, turkey? Can you imagine? Bacon is epic, but what about making my own bacon WRAPPED turkey? Club Sandwiches, anyone?

Thank you Cassie, for dragging my Mage butt all over the world just so I could make darn sure I could be makin’ some bacon before the Cataclysm. I do solemnly swear to never polymorph a Druid, no matter WHAT the form they’re in.

20 Responses to “My Mage be makin’ BACON!!!!”
  1. Minos says:

    I hope you’re very thorough with that Polymorph on the Murlocs. I don’t think I’d want fish-flavored bacon.

  2. xiani says:

    Since you’ve made it to Outland now, you could cut out the middleman:

    http://www.wowhead.com/item=29292

    Then again, perhaps murloc is preferable to demon…

  3. Rogatien says:

    Bear,

    I believe Tome of Polymorph: Black Cat is available in Dalaran from the Kirin Tor; my wife just picked it up last weekend.

    Cheers!

  4. Jed says:

    The turtle polymorph is still attainable from ZG but only until 4.0.3 when ZG goes away completely as a raid instance. You just need someone to fish it up and I am pretty sure you can solo it on a druid and then mail the spell to your mage since its a boe tome.

  5. Nina says:

    There’s also a poly:monkey glyph that came with the last patch, but it’s not as awesome as poly:pengy.

  6. [...] goddess finally gave in and she was able to get her Violet Protodrake! Also, grats to John over at Big Bear Butt. In the true spirit of altaholism, John has been moonlighting as a mage while letting his better [...]

  7. bigbearbutt says:

    That’s right, Jed, but fortunately Blizz has said that they will provide access to Turtle through “some other means” as well.

    And I do already have it, Cassie bought me the tome a while back as a gift.

    I haven’t bought Black Cat from Dalaran yet because, frankly, I’m poor. :) But with this plethora of pet possibilities, I’m feeling pretty good.

  8. Herr Drache says:

    I remember that quest on my mage – even pre-4.0, I ran into issues due to the penguin glyph and turtle book – only time that I macroed “polymorph:sheep” explicitely!
    But poly-rabbit!?!?! I *totally* missed that on the previous Easter holiday(s)! When’s Easter again? Not soon enough!

    Grats on the poly:bacon spell! I think it’s one of the funnest mage quests I did!

  9. Kit says:

    Maybe Polymorph: Turkey will be available during the Pilgrim event?

  10. Jong says:

    By “not that kind of Glee”, you’re implying there’s another kind of Glee. I’m offended. Have you even heard Lea Michele’s solo in Don’t Stop Believing?

  11. Katie says:

    I swear there is a Polymorph Penguin. One of the mages on my server has it.

  12. Polymorph: Turtle will apparently be available a different way after it is removed from ZG, but the devs haven’t announced what way that will be.

  13. Kylaia says:

    I agree with Katie, Polymorph Penguin is out there as well. I think its a glyph though, so you my not be interested in that when you have so many other awesome choices :)

    Congrats on getting Poly Bacon! There shall be excellent noms I’m sure

  14. Tex says:

    I banished my Mage to the Alliance side several months ago thinking that might make me play him. I wasted the 30 bucks and a crap ton of BoA’s. He’s tasted the tangy flavor of the delete button many a time, but never had “delete” typed in. Those BoA’s that could go to a Worgen Boomchicken afterall. But now…

    Now you have invoked Bacon in the name of a mage. I’m not certain that my soul has digested this properly yet, but it’s a powerful aroma you’ve wafted out there. I mostly play a Druid and am therefore pretty much oblivious to the different forms of polymorph…(insert moment of silence for dead polymorph protection)…so the concept of baconizing someone has never entered my mind. This whole post is somewhat disrupting my inner balance to be honest with you. I mean, I think that Bacon should always be followed with some sort of reverent “ohhhmm” sound like that chanting monk music from the 90′s whenever it is spoken. Or at least given the “5 Golden Rings” treatment. Baay–ayaya-Kuuuuuhn. Not to mention that, like all natural-born WoW players, I have a special place in my heart for killing murlocs. Most of my toons ate Hellboar Bacon pre-fight in raids before their feasts or whatever until a few months back. I guess the real question in my mind is that if I am going to play my mage and get into the character, where do Murloc Warlocks spawn at?

  15. Schecke says:

    My mage and my husband’s pally have been farming ZG for Polymorph Turtle (ya know, ’cause we can), and it finally dropped last weekend! I feel your glee. :D

  16. Kemonojin says:

    The polymorph questworks if you have the poly:monkey glyph. I used it myself when I did it just before posting on the other one. :) And I used arcane blast on them; sheep, stand on the sheeped, and just before the copies appear, they reappear as a naga for a second. Hit it then, and by the time your reactions kick in, they’re arcane toast to go with the bacon. :D

  17. Alburet says:

    Grats BBB. Glad to see the happy writing back again.

  18. Elegantdeath says:

    Not sure if you eluded to it in a previous article (or your mention of “my icy abilities” is a clue)… which spec are you using on your mage?…

  19. bigbearbutt says:

    Hey Kemonojin, I had no idea about Monkey working okay, good to know. Thanks!

    Not that I’m ever leveling another Mage, of course.

    ElegantDeath, I’m leveling as Frost only. I have looked at Fire with admiration, the playstyle sounds fun, and I’m contemplating dual speccing at upper levels to mess around and try them all out and have fun, but for now I’m showing my solidarity with my Frost specced peeps.

  20. Kauket says:

    When BC hit, I created a blood elf Mage named…wait for it…Circe. (Yeah, I can’t believe the name wasn’t taken.) I then looked anxiously ahead through 60 levels until I could finally, appropriately pig my victims instead of sheeping them.

    Congratulations, BBB, may much bacon be with you.

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