I’ve talked about the KDWB morning show we’ve got here in the Twin Cities in past posts.

When you’re on the way in to work, it’s nice if you’re listening to crazy people to distract you. At least, sometimes.

This last week, crazy acquired a whole new meaning.

I’m not going to ruin it for you. Instead, I’m going to encourage you to hear the hilarious segment on your own, if you choose. I’ll link how to get there towards the bottom of the post.

A brief setup of just what this is I’m begging you to listen to.

KDWB does this thing they call “War of the Roses“. They encourage people who suspect their significant other is cheating on them to call in and give them the cell phone number, and explain why they’re so suspicious.

Then, the show calls up this subject’s cell, pretends to be from the subject’s cell phone company, and in exchange for answering a quick 3 question survey, they’ll mail a dozen ‘romantic long stemmed roses’ to anyone the subject wants.

Obviously, the point is to see who the person will choose to send the roses to, all the while having the suspicious person on the line ready to break in abrubtly and go psycho on ‘em, and the other person can get all defensive, and a relationship implodes live on the air for all of us to enjoy.

There cannot ever be a good result from this, as, even if the subject under investigation chooses to give the roses to the right person, as the morning show crew will still take delight in letting the subject know that they weren’t trusted by their significant other, and so now the subject typically goes on the attack and the caller becomes the defensive one, and you get to listen to it all boomerang around.

And yet, week after week, people still call in wanting to be on War of the Roses.

It would be amazing if it wasn’t so depressing.

Typically, I don’t enjoy the segment on the show. This isn’t my kind of drama. But this week, this week was different. It was veeeery different.

This last week, KDWB had a War of the Roses segment with a caller named Denice. The original show went on the air Thursday, January 20th, and it was epic. But then there was a follow up with Denice that I listened to on Friday, January 21st, an update on what happened after the whole thing blew up on Thursday, and that took the entire event way past epic and earned it a coveted spot as a legendary event.

I invite you to go to the Dave Ryan in the Morning show on KDWB’s podcast/download page, and scroll down the page to the sidebar showing War of the Roses clips.

I implore you to listen to the War of the Roses: Denice segment dated Thursday, January 20th, and then, once you’ve wiped the tears of laughter from your eyes, listen to the War of the Roses: Denice Update segment immediately afterwards.

I know it’s a pain to follow links, but I’m telling you; listening to these two clips will be well worth your time.

19 Responses to “I think my brain be about to explode”
  1. bluezman says:

    too funny… the followup show had me spitting coffee everywhere from laughing so hard.

  2. Kel says:

    Did not laugh once and thought the whole thing was sad…

    To each their own.

    (Please don’t take this as a dis to you or this blog…just totally why I don’t listen to this “reality..how can we get ratings..media crap”

    • bigbearbutt says:

      No problem, as you say, to each his own… I don’t generally like this kind of self-defeating stuff, but in this case, the levels of self-deception here were just mind blowing.

      I guess I never should have suggested that it was inherently funny, because it’s not, it is insanity, full blown mind blowing crazy, revealed in all it’s terror. It’s someone that is just completely unaware of how deluded they are.

      • Kel says:

        Agreed.

        After thinking about this I actually came away feeling like it could have been scripted…could be another reason they were bringing up the fact that she had been on several of their shows before…to cover the fact that she has been.. because maybe she is employed by them… I would not put anything past a business trying to secure ratings these days…and good for them if it works! But as I eluded to and you spelled out, the reality, assuming it is, may be more strange–and more sad– than fiction.

  3. Siobhann says:

    You know, I don’t think any script writer could possibly have done better than this! And I’m only in the first part…

  4. fiad says:

    damn this post was such a tease, always read bb on my phone on my way to work so cant listen to the podcast, wish i was clued in on this one but ahhh well there always next time

  5. Wren says:

    So…you gotta have trust…or you don’t have anything…

    But she didn’t trust him enough to call in the first place…

    Crazy

  6. KJP says:

    Yeah, like Kel said, “tears of laughter”, not so much. Poor, poor deluded woman.

    I guess the real problem I had was, I can’t stop thinking, this is really the same mental dysfunction that keeps battered spouses coming back to their abusers.

    • bigbearbutt says:

      Nah, that’s not what I was thinking, because there she is, calling a radio station to check up on a second boyfriend in two years.

      That’s her problem solving methodology. THAT’S where I started laughing.

      • Tinuvieldark says:

        I was thinking the same thing BBB! There’s got to be some new disorder psychologists have named that causes people to take their insecurities and drama to the NATIONAL level. Look at the poor souls who willingly go on Jerry Springer to bare their relationship drama (and a frequently their undergarments too as the other b**** rips it off them). Who does that with a healthy brain?

  7. Tsudrats says:

    mmm interesting motto … when in doubt call a radio station ….

    my advice to future potential suitors …. run for the hills.

  8. Adanos says:

    My god, this gal is awesome!

    THAT’s quality radio xD

    Though to be honest, that guy Kyle is awesome… “I’ve been abducted by aliens”?? Im going to add that to my bag of shameful lies xD

    I dont care how fine that girl is…. she’s beyond crazy, I dont care if she’s a big fat 10 you dont get into bed (pun intended) with that chick.

    and the most epic thing about that…. is the hosts of the radio show having a blast with the chick, laughing their asses off to her face and the chick didnt seem to be bothered with it.

    Epic…. just so freaking epic. You just made my day 3B /hug

  9. Gekkoracing says:

    That’s amusing…but damn that chick is DUMB!!! I live out west in Reno NV…we have a morning show that started here and slipped over to Sacramento CA (also broadcast in Anchorage Alaska)…..robarnieanddawn.com is the web site……Dawn is annoying but the rest of the show is quite humorous…..especially the “Bad News Over Happy Music” segment and “WhiteTrash or Ghetto” segments!!1 Check it out BBB……you may like it :)

    • Tsudrats says:

      How to feed someone’s insecurities – take every bit of evidence she puts forward as suspicious.

      omg I’d be in trouble.

  10. RiegnMan says:

    Holy Moly! Where were girlslike this when I was dating? Kyle is DA MAN!
    The sad part is that you’re gonna see her mug shot in the paper one day for pulling a Steve Buschemi and driving through 3 states wearing this guys head as a hat.

  11. Matt says:

    I listened to the two segments, as well as some others. One thing that struck me listening to these is that for the most part, the people who call in are boyfriend/girlfriend, and most haven’t even been dating more than a few weeks. I have a hard time considering that level of “cheating” worthy of a gotcha call-in show. Now if they’d been married for twenty years, or at least living together for a couple years–maybe they have children together–that would be more interesting, I think. Sadder, but more interesting to listen to. I know I’m probably minimizing the pain people go through when they’ve been duped, but if you’ve only been dating someone for a couple months, is that relationship really worth going all Maury Povich on your current bed buddy?

  12. Xathras says:

    Un-frakking believable. I feel sorry for that poor woman. The levels of self-delusion are just mind-blowing. It makes complete sense that she’s been on that show before, just the kind of fool that keeps those shows entertaining.

  13. Bariwyn says:

    I find her “logic” in the second episode, uh, interesting. So you have to have trust? And yet if she had that she wouldn’t have called in. A local station does that where I am as well and I find it sad. To me, if you have to resort to this, then you don’t trust this person and should just move on anyway. But, I guess everyone’s level of self-confidence is different. Everyone is afraid of “what might have been”.

    • bigbearbutt says:

      Yeah, for me the capper of the whole thing was when she announced at the end that if you don’t have trust in your relationship, you don’t have anything. You can almost hear brain cells screaming in anguish before suddenly exploding, as the radio show crew look at each and other and sub-vocalize, “Then wtf are you doing calling here in the first place, you complete nutjob?”

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