Let me make absolutely certain I’ve got this right.
1) Liam Neeson.
2) Berserkers, a la Fred Saberhagen, brought up to modern Tranformer sci-fi special effects.
3) Liam Neeson.
4) U.S. Battleships, which (unless I’ve suddenly gone batshit insane) do not even exist anymore, not since like 1995.
5) Liam Neeson.
6) A deus ex machina plot device to explain why naval air power, and the use of aircraft carriers as a platform to project that air power, cannot in this instance be used.
7) Liam Neeson.
I don’t ask for much in this life.
(Stop snickering. I’m being melodramatic for effect here.)
I said I don’t ask for much.
But if you’re gonna make this movie… if you’re gonna make Battleship and you’re gonna put Liam Neeson in it…
You gotta make Liam Neeson strap broken bottles to his fists, jump onto the alien ship from the broken hull of his impossible battleship, and punch a robot Berserker Transformer shark to death while saying in his chill voice, “You sunk my battleship.”
Otherwise, wtf is the point of this movie?
Oh, and you know I’m going to see this, right?