I have here some alternative lyrics for the classic song, “The Gambler”, and I’m going to share them here with you. Right now. Any second now. No really, look down there. Those are lyrics. Stop reading this and look, damnit!

This was written by Sidhebane, and I hope you enjoy it. I thought it was just the thing to kick off the week with a smile.

The Death Knight (by Sidhebane, inspired by Kenny Rogers and BBB)

On a cold winter’s evening, on a tram bound for Stormwind,
I met up with a Death Knight, we were both too tired to queue.
So we took turns a-staring through the portals at the lake-bed
Until his head turned to me, said “I’d like to talk to you”

He said “Son, I’ve made a living out of reading monsters’ stances,
And knowing what their tricks were by the way they held their swords.
And if you don’t mind me saying, I can see you’re low on chances.
If you lend me some hitpoints, I might lend you some words.”

So I handed him my potion, and he swigged it in one motion,
Then he bummed a Healthstone, and chowed down on that too
And the night seemed frozen solid, as his armor frosted over
Said “If you’re going to be the tank, boy, the mobs will look to you.

You gotta know how to fight ‘em, know when to kite ‘em,
Know when to pop your shields, know when to run.
You don’t loot no corpses if there’s bad guys up and able,
There’ll be time enough for looting when the fight is done.”

Every tank should know, that the secret to survivin’,
is knowin’ what to blow away and knowin’ what to sheep.
‘Cause each PUG has a whiner, and each PUG has a bruiser,
And the best that you can hope for’s that your healer’s not asleep.

And as he finished talking, his armor came defrosted.
His shoulders seemed to slump and his ghoul keeled over dead,
And right there in the darkness, the Death Knight he cast Deathgate,
And still his final words, they seemed to echo in my head

“You gotta know how to fight ‘em, know when to kite ‘em,
Know when to pop your shields, know when to run.
You don’t loot no corpses if there’s bad guys up and able,
There’ll be time enough for looting when the fight is done.”

11 Responses to “Not Quite a Guest Post”
  1. Navimie says:

    Oh man, let me go look up the song first so I can get a better idea… I love alternative lyrics and poems!

  2. Shane says:

    Woot! Took me till the end to get the chorus right :D

  3. Catsclaw says:

    Love it! I have always been a fan of the real song and this is great! I would love a collection of WoW songs. I remember years ago there was one to Ring of Fire for Karazahn.

  4. Askevar says:

    I love this! I really do!

  5. Matty says:

    Bravo! Author! Author! (This is great!)

  6. Kauket says:

    Brilliant, genius! /applause

    And perfect timing too. I’d just finished writing a blood tank guide for my guild–added this to then end, with appropriate attribution of course.

  7. Dortrine says:

    That’s wonderful. Thank you for sharing it.

  8. Elynea says:

    Awesome! Sharing this!

  9. Novastar says:

    One more reason they’re gonna hate me on Karaoke night!!!

  10. Bristal says:

    Nice. First I thought, “great, another lame poem/song post.” I’m from the Kenny era, those lyrics flow really nicely. Totally nailed it.

    “And the best that you can hope for’s that your healer’s not asleep.”
    Win.

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