You ever just write something, and you’re pretty happy about it, and cheerful, and walk away smiling, only to come back and find out that what you wrote, and the feeling you had when you wrote it, and your entire attitude and mental state that allowed you to hold the world view when you wrote it, were all read by other people who interpreted what you said in a completely unexpected way that takes you completely by surprise…

And makes you feel like maybe you just came off like the biggest, most arrogant, egotistical asshole in the world?

Doesn’t matter what was in your head at the time. That’s what came across. As the meme says, offense is in the eye of the beholder, and the internet has no tone of voice.

If that is what people read into what I said… then hell, maybe I AM the most arrogant, egotistical asshole in the world. I know for a fact I’ve got some former guildies that would so aver.

Or at the very least, I am king of the asshats of my own little corner of it, population me.

I’m gonna take a little break, get some down time, relax and wait for my attitude to bounce back. I’m a bouncy bear, and NOTHING can take my butt down and keep it down except me. Just takes a bit of attitude adjusting, that’s all.

I’ll eat some M&Ms, have a bacon sandwich, hug my son, listen to March of Cambreadth, read some Terry Pratchett, play alts with my wife and generally do some of the things that recharge my battery back to POWERING THIS GALACTIC-SIZED TESTAMENT TO WHINY POUTINESS, DAMNIT.

I’ll be back to the blog in a few days.

In the meantime… let’s revisit my first ever Raid Song of the Week. It bears repeating. And it’ll kick my good feeling into overdrive NOW.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

34 Responses to “Even Bear Butts Get The Blues”
  1. Karen says:

    Did I miss something?
    What are you talking about? The “Inspiration…” blog?
    I see nothing but positive comments; including the motivation for an afk blogger to pick up his keyboard again.

    • bigbearbutt says:

      Eh, I wrote a post that I’ve since taken offline that I thought was a kinda ‘hey, thats kind if neat, who woulda thought we’d still be here’ kind of thing, but I found out was really taken as being pretty offensive. Like, very offensive.

      I may be a lot of things, but when I offend someone, I want it to be on purpose, not by accident.

      • Klepsacovic says:

        My approach is to add a line at the start saying “This is what I was trying to get across and how I was thinking when I read this”. If people don’t want to believe me, too bad for them. If you’re going to worry about accidentally offending people, well just quit now. Except someone might be offended by that.

        • bigbearbutt says:

          I just prefer to offend people with surgical precision. Offending people through ham handed clumsiness is… offensive to me. :)

      • HighVis says:

        Still confused, though – if you’re referring to the ‘It’s over Two MIllion?’ post, I’ve got the text open in front of me here and I can’t see a single sentence that would even mildly offend anyone, let alone provoke a strong enough reaction to make you pull the post. You thanked us twice for reading BBB a lot, and praised up your wife. You had a jokey dig at a friend, and… well, that was it.

        NIce post, and a great pic at the end. I came away from it feeling the way you said you did when you wrote it, and can’t possibly see how people could react differently.

        Very odd. I’d love to see some of the negative comments, if only to try to understand.

  2. Tanimanwe says:

    I think I remember the post, don’t remember it being offensive at all. Maybe I’m just too dense to take offense. I share your enthusiasm for the game, and envy your family’s shared interest for playing together. Whatever feedback you got, try not to let it eat at you. Take a break and find some other fun for a bit, we’ll be here waiting for you.

    • Nimizar says:

      Yeah, I can still see the missing post in my feed reader.

      BBB: you hit a cool moment in life, and wanted to share it with your readers. If folks took that shared moment of joy and found it offensive… well, your call to take it offline. Just know that at least some of us read that piece and thought “Ah, nice, BBB is having a good day. Good to see a bit of happiness in the world”.

  3. Gnomeaggedon says:

    Damn… my latest post is bound to upset all 7 of my readers.

    Pretty sure I know which one it is, cant say I found it offensive, but I have seen similar reactions in the past from insecure people thinking some bloggers are bigger and more powerful than they are in reality.

    Anyway, have a good few days “off blogging” and hopefully your offended readers don’t drop by my place causes it’s just one big pile of offense.

  4. Magritte says:

    I didn’t see the post you’ve taken down, but I did see your comment on the post talking about such posts. And I’m not really good at leaving people comments. I usually don’t do it. So forgive me if this devolves into a bunch of mauling and manglespamming.

    Communication isn’t just what one person says, but also what another person gets from it… I think you’re right about that. Since I’m not good at making the blog rounds like I should, I haven’t seen the posts that were being addressed in the Post of Criticism. What I saw in it was some good advice for anyone (not just WoW bloggers) on things to be concerned about OTHER than “Is anybody reading what I write?”

    I’m not bothered by rare posts that mark a milestone, or take a look back at how far the blog and the author have come. Especially not from authors who tend to recognize everyone who contributed to the blog even by just being a reader. And I think the fact that you would be concerned about whether or not a post makes you look like the King of Asshats means you’re probably not even a major landowner in that kingdom. Obviously, I can’t speak for everyone. Just me. But you don’t offend me.

    RAWR! (“”\ ( -.- ) /””)

  5. Ulvheart says:

    It’s still visible on Google Reader and there is nothing offensive in that post at all. Nada.

    It was effusive and excited. Slightly irreverent and jokey. There was no asshattery in sight from your good self.

    You’ll always get someone who plays the offence card claiming your thoughts should not be allowed (or in mild cases, aired) but that’s just totalitarianism. There’s nothing wrong with being offended or offending someone’s sensibilities. In fact if you never offend or are never offended than you should be worried: without personal challenges how can one grow?

  6. Tsudrats says:

    To cite Gnomeaggedon … ‘Irritate your fellow bloggers until they have to scratch the itch.’

    http://gnomeaggedon.net/2012/02/24/so-what-now/#more-8954

    :)

    I should put you on feed reader rather than just dropping in every day

  7. Navimie says:

    Oh my. I read this post and thought, which post is that? And then I realised which post it was. And I am totally stunned people found it offensive. I just thought it was “oh my god how cool, let me share, enthusiasm” was in the post. And now you’ve removed it and I feel a bit stupid since every day since that post went up I must have told one person a day about how I wish I could hit that. I guess if I could in about 10 years, if I go on current trend :) But why am I writing about that here? I think I’ll go write about it.

    I’d better look at it on my reader a few more times to remember it and how happy I felt for you when I read it before it disappears forever into the void of the deleted internet items.

  8. The Ancient says:

    At the risk of sounding selfish (which I am) the ‘It’s over Two Million?’ post made me happy. I was happy for you yeah, but I got warm, fuzzies because you’re still here entertaining us and enjoying WoW and so many visitors meant we’re not alone. It was a lovely post with dancing bears and WoW happiness. I’m saving it.

  9. FaceTank says:

    I, like many others I am sure here love to read your blog all the time. Not to blow sunshine but you have a writing style and an attitude towards life that is very refreshing and quite addictive.

    I actually find it offensive that someone can have such baggage and such a dour outlook on life that they would make you feel self conscious about writing what is in your heart. I am reminded time and again that bad people can twist anything around to make it seem bad. You show us little pieces of your soul with everything you write and we all appreciate every single word of it.

    As I write this a quote from the end of Patch Adams comes to mind (modified to suit)

    We find no fault in your attempts to improve the quality of life around you…
    We find no fault in your desire to expand upon existing blogging practices and theories…
    We applaud your love of your readers…
    Your writing is among the highest in your class and, therefore, we find no merit in the decision to revoke your posts because some asshats read more into it than what was there…
    Now, along with your furry and bouncy behavior you carry with you a flame which one could only hope would spread through the blogosphere like a brushfire

    Keep saying whatever you feel Big Bear. If people have issues then that is there problem. Just know that we luv ya!

    • bigbearbutt says:

      no no no no! There is no drama here! none!

      All of you that have commented are awesome, but really, there is no drama.

      I know that I was being sarcastic in the way I overstated being an asshat, but I really do feel that there was no need on my part to write about something that could be interpreted as a brag post.

      We live and play in a world saturated by recount obsession. Number competition is a massive part of what many of us feel is annoying in WoW, and so is it any wonder that someone would take the post as being an actual “I am so great, look at my numbers” kind of thing?

      What bummed me out was simply that someone that visits the blog would take it that way. I like to think, mistakenly perhaps, that you know me better than that. Hell, I like to think that I AMM better than that. But let’s face it… even though I assume and act as though I am talking to a bunch of friends and we all know each other here, I am fortunate to have folks link to me, and that draws the occasional reader in that has no idea what the hell is going on here, and all they have to go on is what they see on the screen.

      Tone of voice really doesn’t come through sometimes, and that’s all there is to it. There is no drama, only sadness that someone took what I had written and had it inspire them to feel they had to encourage other people not to let the bragging and asshattery of people like me prevent them from starting out and staying enthusiastic in their writing, and I totally agree with that sentiment. I just regret that my intentions, what was in my own head when I wrote it, did not come through to those people.

      • bigbearbutt says:

        And all I am doing now is, since I took the post down, loko at a way I can remove the offensive aspect while retaining the feeling that was in my heart when I wrote it.

        • Matty says:

          Okay – Bear, I get you. I really do. I have made my own cryptic apologies for things I’ve written, too.

          But, does this mean to say that if I want to be a writer, I should yell at Neil Gaiman because he has sold more books than I have? (Like, millions to zero?) I should just give up now?

          I just got over 17,000 page views: does your critic think I shouldn’t be pleased that others around the world want to hear about the goofy trials and tribulations of a dork with horns? Hey, if I can reach just one lonely Dwarf in Florida or a wandering Tauren in Iceland, that’s pretty damn cool.

          One thing I have come back to time and again when I first started blogging (in my professional life) was how it was truly, deeply amazing it is to me that others would not only feel the way I did, but could help me change some profoundly broken systems and institutions. I haven’t posted on my professional blog for a while, for many reasons, but think it’s time I did. I’ve got some pounding to do on a few asshats myself.

          Ham-handed? Just don’t put on kid gloves too often, okay, Bear?

        • Tsudrats says:

          My blog has not quite broken the 2k mark … meh, I gain a lot of enjoyment out of being about to read your thoughts and then pass the link onto others who I think would be interested in reading also. It’s also fair to say that reading your thoughts and knowing how much I enjoy them encourages me to put my own posts out there in the weblog world.

          Keep up the wonderful work :)

  10. Willowbear says:

    BBB I’ve had you on my feedreader since back when BC first opened. My first character and still my main was dead set on face-tanking and you were the goto blog for bear tanking help. You don’t post on tanking much anymore. And yet…

    I’m still here.

    You’ve posted things I didn’t agree with or support, but since when do folks have to agree on everything they think and do.

    I’m still here.

    I would say more, but FaceTank pretty much said everything I’m thinking.

    We are still here.

  11. DarthRegis says:

    You need an animated gift of the dancing bear form and the text “Haters gonna hate.” flashing on it.

  12. Say what you need to say. If it’s what you want to say, it’s never going to be a problem, because the last time I looked this was your blog and not anyone else’s.

    Or am horribly oversimplifying everything?

  13. I’ve been reading your work for the past four months religiously (partly because I wish my own personal blogging style were as fresh as your own) and I’ve yet to read anything that could be construed as even slightly offensive. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I may not be a long-time reader, but I’m already a loyal reader to the core.

  14. Maerdred says:

    I’ve rewritten this comment 5 times. The gist of what I want to say is this.

    If they don’t like what you write, they don’t have to read it. Obviously LOTS of people do like what you write, so Don’t get too bummed out by the Vocal Minority.

  15. DarthRegis says:

    Also, you’re allowed to announce and be proud of your milestones.

    If someone else sees it as bragging or gets offended, they should probably be a bit more honest with themselves as to why it’s got their panties in a knot rather than say “it’s all your fault”. Because it’s usually them that’s the problem, and not you.

  16. Goose says:

    Bear, the druid community supports your work and writings. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging milestones. I’ll let you in on a secret in life: you can’t please everyone. You will always piss someone off, so let them get fuming and forget about it. With this many followers showing the love you don’t need to get down.

  17. Gekkoracing says:

    BBB,

    I think…..correct me if I’m wrong….that its not that you are happy and wrote a celebratory post….but…..that said person “interpretted” it as “bragging asshattery”……and that the Bear’s internal filters did not catch that it “may” be misinterpretted as such. Your not upset at the post, but in how it was “seen” by another and was “read” as bragging. Bear, we obviously love you….and your writing style…..cause we ALL come back to read what you write. IF we get offended or hurt or pissy…..we do the courtesy of leaving you comments. You did nothing wrong, nor is the filter system clogged or broken, some people are just more sensative then others and don’t wear their “big girl panties”. Sorry. Please don’t beat yourself up, and please, don’t EVER stop blogging…..unless it is to spend time with your amazing family!

    Having said that……..I love you and the blog and consider you a “friend” accross the internets and definatly a brother from another mother!!! lol

    Peas.

  18. ellori says:

    I read a lot of blogs and occasionally see them happily posting about having hit a milestone of some sort, such as x number of hits.

    It’s normal. It’s heart-warming. I get to feel good with them, and appreciate their honest delight in having x number of people interacting with them and interested in what they have to say on a daily basis.

    Anyone who would be offended by that must be new to the internet.

  19. ellori says:

    Oh, I see. It must be from this post: http://thestoriesofo.net/2012/02/27/shameless/

    TBH, I think it’s full of shit. Your blog, your posts. Was Blizzard bragging when it stated it had 12 million subscribers? Who cares, as long as it’s true?

  20. The Alien says:

    There is unrest in the forest, there is trouble with the trees…

    Ahem. I think there’s a huge difference between constantly talking about one’s pageviews, clickthroughs and the like versus celebrating a nice round number as a milestone.

  21. Tzi says:

    Good people are happy for you. Haters gonna hate.

  22. Arioch says:

    Milestones are inspirations and should be shared. If you are excited about something, if it’s important to you, it’s worth sharing. I didn’t get the opportunity to read the post, but so long as you weren’t making fun of blogs with smaller readerships, then there’s nothing wrong with it. I can’t wait to hit a milestone like that and you can be damned certain I’ll be posting about it if it ever happens.

    • bigbearbutt says:

      It’s actually still up, I just removed reference to the number of pageviews. Still the same exact post, since I still stand by the whole thing. Umm… now what was it called? It’s like two posts earlier, or the one before, it’s the one where I thank you.. yes YOU… for being here. Right now. Commenting and being all positive and shit, just like you’re doing.

  23. Morrighan says:

    I think you should restore the post to the way it used to be. Heres the thing – whats wrong with bragging? If I get an awesome new job, am I not allowed to tell people because they don’t have one? Should I not have mentioned I was pregnant to anyone, and try to keep my child hidden away? If that story you’ve been writing ended up in the bestseller lists would you have to go into hiding? You should be proud of 2 million hits. You achieved that through your own hard work. You wrote the posts. You earned the credit.

    I read the post at The Stories of O and I totally disagree with that and agree with Gnomageddon. A blog is a public forum. If you want to write for the purity of writing, then thats okay. But to try and make people who obviously aren’t as pure and saintly feel sleazy is hardly that pure, is it? Its okay for O to engage with the community by bashing other people but its not okay for you to celebrate your success in engaging positively with the community? And yes I am now ‘bashing’ someone, but then I never claimed to be pure and saintly.

    I write to be a part of a community. I don’t write to fulfil some deep inner need to expound on things, as cathartic as blog writing can be at times, I write to talk to other people. And those page hits and comments mean a lot to me. They are a sign that someone likes what I have to say. And I have page views because I write something people want to read. I am proud of that. Not everyone can manage that. I’ve kept going through some hard times in game and IRL. I should be proud of that. I’ve written 182 posts and have 343,523 page views and I am proud of it!

    • bigbearbutt says:

      Ah, but as much as I appreciate your point of view on this, it is now in the past. I had one point to make, I made it, and by changing the post I even reinforced what was important to me to say.

      Namely, “Holy shit, I’m still alive. WTF, over.”

      But seriously, Navimie recently said something that covered all this perfectly. She asked me, doesn’t knowing that I’m part of a community that shows they do care about all this make a difference?

      And it does.

      Maybe what I did is self-censoring. Maybe the example I made, to remove content because someone else got upset and thought it damaged the community, gave the wrong message to other bloggers. “Ooh, if someone is upset by what you say, better take that down or don’t post it in the first palce. Only write safe things.”

      I hope that isn’t the message people took from that. I didn’t take the post down and change it becvause I was asked to, but because the 2 million pagehits wasn’t the point of the post, it was the HOOK. I just changed the hook, reinforced my point, and moved on VERY happy with the results.

      I have actually been contemplating writing an ultra-offensive post with my usual tongue in cheek humor, just to make sure nobody doubts that if my intent is to go off the wall, by god I CAN go off the wall. I’ve had a hellacious inspiration recently for a fun idea.

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