Meaning is personal.

I’d like you to think about something, just for a few minutes.

When you see or hear or read something, or feel it through your fingers, or measure it in the beats of your heart, connections happen in your mind. Your self.

You take the new, add it to the old, and stir.

What comes out of your mouth, what understanding you gain, CANNOT be untouched by all that you were and are.

Everything new you experience, you bring it within yourself, blend it with everything else you have experienced in your life, and from this new combination comes your new feelings and understanding on what it all means.

Meaning is not absolute. The meaning you get is dependent on everything else about you that makes you… you.

I say this, to ask that, the next time you see or hear or read something and you feel offended, outraged, hurt, pissed or just ready to lash out and hurt someone because of the bad feelings inside you… take a moment, just a moment, and make sure that you are righteously pissed at the right person, for the right reasons.

Just do a gut check that you’re going to tee off and unleash hell on the right person, for the right reasons, without adding your own prejudices and fears and hatreds and feelings based on what other completely unrelated people did to you sometime in the past.

Don’t bottle up what you feel… but make sure your target deserves it before you unleash.

If you take that moment, that deep breath, that gut check, and the person or thing or issue in your opinion still deserves the fury of a thousand exploding stars be heaped upon it…

Have fun. Vent and be free.

If you choose to take any feelings of rage or offense and lash out immediately and put the pressure on other people for them to change to make you feel better…

Well, I take what I see, hear and feel, and I bring it inside too. I blend it in with everything I have experienced in my life, and I come to my own conclusions.

If someone comes all across as an asshat, instead of venting all the time I tend to just ignore that person or write them out of my life from that point on, so the result tends to be pretty peaceful.

To me, life is too short and time too precious to waste either.

 

11 Responses to “Bring on the Flying Monkeys”
  1. Erthshade says:

    So true. The word choices you make are influenced by your experiences, your filters, but what you read is also influenced by your filters, often giving some unintended coloring to meanings. Far too often when I was younger I would get frustrated and angry with people I was working with because despite both of us speaking English, we weren’t communicating well. At least, I wasn’t getting past my own filters, due in part to frustration at not getting past my own filters.

  2. Ooh, philosophical bear time. Best bear time. I completely agree, were I more awake, I’d probably make a connection between ragey hulk and more focussed hulk from the avengers movie. Either way, great post with a lot of thought and feeling behind it. Be safe bear, and hopefully whatever event spawned the post is resolved and less bothersome now.

  3. Xew says:

    It’s too bad I never remember the words of wisdom in the middle of the button poking that sets me off. For some reason, I’m really good with muscle memory – developing quick reflexes that can react faster than my brain in specific situations. But the same isn’t true with the mental aspect. It isn’t until much later, while reflecting on the verbal outrage I poured into people that I realize there was probably a much better way to handle it… if only I had remembered to check my attitude and get my bearings, and be the change I want to see – etc.

    I’ve gotten better at realizing I’m about to go off the deep end, and can reign it back at that point… but sometimes I’m just ragey and let fly without that internal monologue of self correction.

    I really need to work on that.

  4. Bristal says:

    Since philosophy always has an “other hand”; be careful not to run away from constructive conflict resolution with the assumption that anybody who criticises you is just an asshat, and clearly is misdirecting their anger.

    Ignoring people or “writing them out” can stimulate a further increase in their rhetoric, and is in fact an agressive act on your part. If i want to be heard, and you ignore me, i will yell louder. Reacting strongly to other people’s expressions of anger is just as much an anger management issue as being angry yourself.

    I agree that (especially online) there is lots of (apparent) lashing out and misdirected anger. It’s easy and essentially risk free. But instead of ignoring the person you believe to be misdirecting anger, you can also ignore the anger itself, and focus on what they said instead of how they said it.

    The sociology of online communication and relationships fascinates me no end. I follow quite a few blogs, and the rules of engagement are all over the board.

    • bigbearbutt says:

      If you want to be heard, that is nice. But this rhetorical you we’re talking about does not have a right to be heard by me. To act different is silly.

      If you assault me, I am not under obligation to endure it. Your choices are yours, but you have no right to force me to listen, no power over me to inflict your will, and no chance at making me feel guilty for not giving in.

      • bigbearbutt says:

        I do agree that ignoring someone can be done in an offensive, aggressive way. I’m just separating the need to not use withholding attention as a weapon from being expected to take whatever yelled abuse is sent your way.

  5. The Ancient says:

    I am all about avoiding unpleasantness so I don’t follow or read certain blogs. I only know somethings up again when I see the comments of people I do follow, and think, whew, glad I didn’t have to see that.

    I try really, really, hard not to say anything when angry, except to my last internet provider who deserved every raging hissy fit I threw at them, but then I threw it in the correct direction.

  6. ursiheil says:

    Thanks again BBB… a good post.

    I’ve had the /ignore command long before WoW… needed it growing up. As you can imagine, I’ve dealt with alot of idiots over the years… nearly killed me a couple of times.

    So swift and safe resolutions to whatever trigger this man… I envy you sometimes in that you are a tank nature, able to stand up and take the aggro, and unleash hell back at the offending target. I know you’ve spoken out for me a couple times, and I appreciate it.

    On a complete tangent (and to lighten the mood), should I be impressed that Chrome has a spell check entry for Aggro?

  7. mannyac says:

    Is it ok to rant at the moron in the line at McDonalds?
    You know, the one that gets to the register, then has to stop and stare at the menu (like it’s changed substantially in the last 25 years!) before ordering.
    Or is a head slap sufficient?

    • bigbearbutt says:

      I never said don’t do it, man, just to make sure you take a second first.

      I say, slap the stupid right off him.

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