I’m so fucking pissed, it makes my chest ache. So, today you get what you get, and it’s a fucking rant about an arrogant prick.

Am I going to make enemies with this? Probably. I know how people take sides along friends lines, friends can do no wrong and anyone challenging them must be crushed. There must have been an excuse. Well, I saw the screenshots, I saw the chat logs, you want to crush me for speaking my mind, bring it. I don’t fucking care. What I’m doing is siding with a friend too, for my own reason, so fine.

Ooh, outrage at asshat behavior? What an original topic!

True story, but this post is for me, to blow off my own steam, because I’m at work and I am NOT going to go through the rest of my day without venting in some way. I’ll be damned if I’m going to be taking my anger out on someone else who can’t simply close the window, change the page, or put me on /ignore and walk away.

Time to fire up the f-bomb machine and set the controls for the heart of my raging sun.

I’m serious. If bad language offends you, if the spewing of my venom will bother you, please just close the browser. I am not here to bring anyone down, to ruin anyone’s day, or to piss people off. This post will not lift your spirits or bring you chuckles or giggles. This is me venting, pure and simple.

Okay? All right then.

I’ve come to know Navimie purely through her writing on her blog, the Daily Frostwolf.

If she didn’t write, I really wouldn’t know her at all. She’s not on my server or even on my faction in the game. Our paths were never likely to cross.

But she does write, and because of that, instead of a faceless stranger, she is a real person whom I have come to know a little bit through what she has shared of her experiences, her hopes, her enthusiasms and her achievements.

I have learned through her writing over the months that she is a very strong person that faces a lot of stress in her real life career, she is a skilled hard mode raider in WoW, she is a gifted writer, she has a great deal of fun with and promotes the successes of her friends, she shows a delight in the fun, whimsical and silly that is to be found in this world, and above all else, she is a very nice and polite person who pursues her passions with honest enthusiasm.

An infectious enthusiasm. When Navimie starts to gush about something, even I start to feel like I should be a nicer or more approachable person to live up to her expectations that other people are as nice as she is.

Navimie has recently been reaching out to others within the World of Warcraft community and seeking them out to ask them to pose for pictures with her in the game. She is approaching people she likes through their writing, or from what she knows of them. Her friends and family, and then her extended ‘WoW’ community family.

She is saying hello and taking a snapshot to remind her of the folks she has come to know through their own writings, or who are good friends, or who have in some way touched her life or WoW experience.

Thanks to her having a blog she is able to share those snapshots with all of us. I know everyone gets something different about blogging and writing and readong about it, but one of the things I’ve liked best about the whole thing is the way I feel connected to a bunch of people with shared interests, and I enjoy seeing these. It strengthens my feeling of, well, belonging to something more than doofus playing video games, one each.

Even if that feeling is based on an illusion, the feeling is real, and that’s enough for me.

The Navispams are something completely in keeping with what I know of her. To be enthusuastic about something, and spend some of her time reaching out to others and approaching them to take a few pictures, and then spend more of her time making a post showing them. It’s an incredibly flattering thing, to know that someone out there is thinking of you, and likes you enough to spend a few minutes of their precious time, time they will never get back, with you, and to want a screenshot to remember it by.

If anything, I bet everyone who knows her would love to see their picture up there next to Navi, and feel that same sense of belonging.

That is why I have such an incredibly strong reaction to this. THIS is why I am fucking enraged. I am reacting to this almost as strongly as if this had happened to my 9 year od son who plays the game, because Navi is not some faceless shell to me who might be overstating things because maybe she is a secret asshat. I have a very good idea of how she comes across to people.
 
How? Simple. I know how she approaches people she wants to Navispam because I am one of the people she has already approached out of the blue in game to ask for a Navispam snapshot. I know from direct, personal experience EXACTLY how she approaches someone, how she speaks, what she says, how polite and considerate she is, and how completely uncalled for this bullshit was. I know firsthand. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Well, she went to go looking for a few people I think VERY highly of that are on my same server, Nymphy and Orvillius, who you might know from D/E The Tank. From what I know of both of them, they are very nice people, and I hold Orvillius in the highest personal regard. More on that later, but I can say that from everything I’ve seen, I am lucky to know the both of them.

She didn’t see either of them online at the time, but they did have someone else from their guild online, so she whispered.

What resulted from that, Navi has posted herself. And she was very clear about NOT wanting to start any kind of argument or controversy about it. So yes, I’m going directly against her express wishes in talking about it.

Navi, I am sorry. I’m just so fucking pissed right now. Grats, whoever that cockface was, because if he’s a troll in real life, he managed to get through my “don’t give a shit about asshats” armor and inspire an emotional reaction, so congrats, you fucking win the internet.

Navimie whispered the person while that person was in an instance. That is her vast crime.

This unnamed person went off on her in reply. Hey, hot tempered, some people are dicks, it happens, right? Ah, but then they went on Twitter to bash her there, too.

So, it wasn’t enough to treat someone like shit because they interrupted you while you were doing something? Apparently not, no. You have to go and make a special point of tabbing out to bash them to all your social contacts, too. A little after the fact spin control to get people on ‘your side’ after you realized what a complete prick you were? Rallying the troops? That’s my call.

Hey, people can go be pricks all they want, the world is full of them, they are worthless sacks of shit, and the greatest justice in the world is that I only have to know about them for five seconds, but they have to live with being themselves every day of their lives. Damn, that’s gotta suck.

Here is why I am so fucking pissed.

Navimie is blaming herself for how SHE was treated by this pusball, she is making excuses for the abuse she suffered at his/her hands, and is torturing herself over how she should never have been so rude or inconsiderate as to bother this person while they were busy.

FUCK THAT.

There is no fucking excuse for that kind of flame in a blind reply. None. You don’t invite abuse by politely approaching someone through a whisper. If you get whispered while you’re doing something, if you can’t answer it at the time, you IGNORE IT and reply at your leisure when you get the chance. Nobody is forcing you to respond, either now or ever.

“Oh, but it is so rude to get a whisper while I’m busy, why didn’t they do a /who so they could see I’m busy, oh why Mr Owl?”

Really? Fucking really. That’s what you’re going with? You saw a little purple line of text whisper while doing something and it broke your concentration and you died and the run wiped and you ate a 100 gold repair bill and it harshed your calm zen-like ‘tude, dude. That is the grand excuse for your behavior. Oh, it was absolutely her fault, your response wasn’t over the top or excessive, oh no, not at all.

I want to remind you, this prick didn’t just have a grouchy moment, snap at an utter stranger and then leave it at that. They felt the special need to go bash the person on Twitter afterwards.

Oh, right, that reminds me. FUCK YOU. I wanted to make sure I said that again, I might be being a little vague here about how I feel.

If you are so delicate that you get broken by a whisper from a stranger while tanking, guess what? That’s not the fault of the person whispering you about people in your guild on a multiplayer game.  

I know Navimie was saying that I have no way of knowing what pressures that person was under, or what mitigating circumstances could cause that kind of reaction.

The instant nastiness and /ignore? That’s not the sign of someone who is innocent in the ways of being a prick. that is someone who is used to being a complete douchebag, and then doing /ignore so they don’t have to deal with any blowback. 

The Twitter crap is cold, stone sober inner child bullshit. News Flash: That is who they really are.

People bullshit you all the time. They bullshit me. This is the internet, and all you know about people who blog is what they say, and what others say about them. You decide who you believe, if anyone.

It’s anonymous, and anyone can try and pretend to be whoever they want, and you can buy into however much of it you like.

What you see of someone when they think nobody is watching? That’s not the irregularity, that is the real person. That is how they really treat people they think don’t count.

I read once, “You are what you do when it counts.” I buy into that. You can think things through at your leisure, and decide to do something after weighing the pros and cons carefully, including what people will think of you when you do it. When shit happens and you act with an instant snap decision, that comes from the gut. It’s all you, no time to filter it.

Bad judgment? Bullshit. it’s not bad judgment, it’s a bad person. When nobody is watching and they think they could get away with it, they were a nasty little shit, and then went out on Twitter to spin it and try to get their followers on their side agreeing and reinforcing that they were the ones in ‘the right’.

Navimie, I know you don’t want a controversy, and I am not here to start one. There is no controversy to be found here. That person was an offensive little slime mold to you, a piece of dogshit to be scraped off the sole of your soul.

Don’t blame yourself, your actions, your enthusiasm or anything else for what happened. This is not about what YOU did or did not do. This is about what THEY chose to do of their own free will in response.

And now, patient people who have read this far, I want to wanr you of something.

Before you blast me for how horrible I’m being, you better keep one thing in mind, because it will drive how I respond to whatever justification you come up with.

My son plays World of Warcraft now. He is nine years old.

My son personally knows both Nymphy and Orvillius. Not only that, but he has spent several weeks now playing in a raid with both of them every single Sunday evening in Icecrown Citadel.

Yeah, that’s right. That is how personal this is for me. I don’t play with the Navi side of the coin, I play with the Nymphy and Orv side.

My son plays with them both, and he knows what guild they are in because he RAN WITH THAT GUILD IN ULDUAR.

My son knows that the legendary axe quest chain he is on in ICC is something he has been helping Orvillius complete each week, and he also knows that if he has questions on what to do or how hard the quest steps are, Orvillius is the one he would ask. This has even come up IN THE LAST WEEK, because he is supposed to drink the vial off the table of Professor Putricide this week to become a giant slime monster, and Orvillius is the one who just did it a few weeks ago.

My son is not stupid, but he is enthusiastic, eager, cheerful, and thinks the best of people. He knows how to do a /who and how to whisper people, and he likes to say “Hello.” And he really looks up to Orvillius, who has been a strong voice of reason in our Sunday runs.

Do you have any idea how easily this could have been the story of how my son, eager and excited to ask Orv about doing the legendary axe quest this Sunday, whispered somebody in Orvs guild to see if Orv was on, and got that response?

Yeah, if I make enemies with this post because they don’t get why I might be personally hot up about this, you know what? Those are people I am grateful to have out of my life.

You go ahead and convince me that response was appropriate. Good luck with that.

39 Responses to “Blowing off a lot of steam”
  1. Herr Drache says:

    Can’t blame you for writing with your heart. I always feel bad when I respond to a whisper about 15 minutes late going “errr, sorry, was raiding/tanking/letting the dogs out/had a smoke”. Soooo sorry. What did you want? I swear I’ll be better watching my WIM icon. Sorta. But the GuildMaster really wanted my opinion (foolish as she is)and….

    In any case. Someone needs to see a psychiatrist for their condition. Or needs a vacation or something.

  2. Gedunk says:

    Right there with ya big bear….this is the kind of bullshit that we see more and more everyday and I don’t mean even in the game. People get bent because this company said this or this person said that and go out on a full tilt Jihad when truth be told they’ve never done a thing in their life to help earn the right they have to respond and don’t know the responsibility that goes along with that right. OK I’ve finished preaching but if you ever need someone to cover your six look me up.

  3. Fangtastic says:

    You’re spot on BBB.

    This person could have easily said “Sorry can’t talk right now. Busy.” and left it at that. Or just ignored her. But no, they have to be rude in game and then take it out to twitter. Just shows an utter lack of class and deep set mean spiritedness.

    If I am busy in an instance I’m usually so engrossed that I don’t even realize I got a whisper until after the fact when I see a glow on my “tells” chat tab. It certainly doesn’t prevent me from doing whatever I am doing in the instance. Its not like my game gets paused until I can deal with the whisper.

    This person was just mean, I bet they weren’t even disturbed. They just saw someone speaking politely and nicely and decided to bully her, that is all.

    • Fangtastic says:

      And then this:

      Navimie ‏says: my sincerest apologies. i came to see @grimmtooth and @Nymphmage and unfortunately disturbed your dungeon. wont’ happen again!

      And gets a reply saying:

      =========================
      I’m regularly contacted by forum trolls. You sounded EXACTLY like one of them with the random weird questions.

      Sorry I was short with you but DON’T DO THAT >.<
      =========================

      This asshat lacks the decency to be nice even after Navimie is being extremely polite and apologetic.

      • ellori says:

        Wow, what a self-important little cocksucker that guy is. Someone needs to tell him he’s not all that he thinks he is.

  4. Askevar says:

    Having had my own negative interaction with the person involved, I completely agree with you, though I’m not surprised.

  5. Jinni says:

    I don’t blame you for venting, in fact venting helps a lot when your angry, and you have every right to be. People have forgotten how to be decent people to each other, and honestly it’s made me not want to play MMOs anymore at all. I used to love playing WoW or Rift, but after being verbally abused by so many people I just can’t enjoy the games anymore.

  6. Klepsacovic says:

    Sometimes I wish I was following more blogs and bloggers and knew more of what’s going on. Then I see this and wonder if I really do. I’ve settled into a small set of blogs that I read, slightly fewer that I comment on, and barely any that I follow on Twitter.

    Reading over it, if they had limited it to the game, I’d say “wow, that was rude of them, but maybe they’re in an awful pug and on end and let’s check one off their remaining lifetime incidents of free diskishness.” But to then jump on twitter with it, well that’s… that’s a new category of dickishness.

  7. Forthepie says:

    I got angry just reading about this. You, like Navi,are not in the wrong. Reading your blog is one of the reasons I came back to WoW.

  8. Seren says:

    I don’t think you’re over reacting at all BBB. Has Orv said anything about this particular guildies’ behavior?

    • bigbearbutt says:

      This is where I failed as a person, I did NOT take any of this to Orv or Nymphy first. This post was purely meant to vent my very real anger… and usually on such posts, I do not hit ‘publish’, I hit ‘save draft’ and walk away, having vented in print and gotten that cleansing done, and then coming back later to give myself time to gain some perspective.

      Believe it or not, sometimes I don’t post shit like this. No, really! If I come back and feel like there is no positive purpose served except to feed my bloated ego, I scrap it and blog another day.

      This time, I was still super pissed when I was done and hit publish without any cooling off period at all… and without giving Nymphy or Orv any heads up or warning at all, which is very sucky of me.

      It was an asshat move on my part.

      Don’t argue, if you even thought about it. If you give yourself a chance, you know I’m right. Whether or not I published, there was no freaking rush. I could have waited, cooled off, and sent Nymphy an IM in Twitter to warn here that what I was going to say would NOT reflect on her, her friends or her guild, but it WOULD touch on someone that was IN her guild that she had no control over whatsoever, and to say sorry in advance for any drama that my being outraged would have, and to discuss if there was some other way I could say my piece that wouldn’t cause them any blowback. Or Orv, for that matter. That would have been the best thing to do.

      I still would have published it at some point, I stand by every fucking word I said. I could have added things, disclaimers, given Nymphy a chance to post something I could have linked to, that kind of thing.

      I’ve read it back over, and do I stil feel the same way? Hell yes, I wouldn’t change a thing.

      Icedragon, fuck you. Truly, from the bottom of my heart.

      • Seren says:

        I never thought once of arguing with you. I still do not think you’re overreacting at all. And if this post gives Icedragon some heat, good. Because douche bags like that deserve to get the shit they dish out thrown right back at them.

        I’m sure Orv and Nymphy will deal with him appropriately as well. From some of the other comments, it seems as Navimie isn’t the only one who has had a run in with this guy.

  9. Xew says:

    I feel ya BBB – reading her blog, I started to tear up myself – not because of what happened, but because of her willingness to be the victim!

    Times like that, I enjoy daydreaming crushing these asshats; curbstomping them and doing other, bodily harm upon them. Not that I would actually act out in such a manner, but the daydream is glorious.

    Rant away brother, rant away.

  10. Charity says:

    Right there with you, BBB. When you started on the 9-year-old kid thing, I thought you were going to say someone was making excuses that he was young and I was thinking that if it was my kid, I’d be mortified. I hadn’t even thought about if it was my kid sending this guy a tell and getting that kind of response. Ugh.

    I know the fact that I can’t comprehend it is human nature, to not be able to see that far out of your own skin, but I just don’t get why someone would react with anything other than basic politeness or an ignore. The response was far beyond unnecessary. I’m sorry that your friend is taking it to heart.

  11. Ironically, I had a run-in with the person concerned last week, and subsequently removed them from my Twitter feed. Reading it this evening they are singularly unapologetic, deciding instead to quibble Nav’s telling of events despite the fact the two Tweets that Nav ‘quoted’ remain intact in their feed.

    What is saddest of all, at least in my eyes, is that Nymph has now apologised on Twitter for what has happened, but it appears the individual feels there is no issue to apologise for.

    *sigh*

  12. Targeter says:

    The rage is strong with you, BBB.

  13. Targeter says:

    BBB! DUDE, THE JERK RESPONDED IN NAVI’S COMMENT THREAD! His name is Icedragon. Here’s the text:

    IcedragonAugust 10, 2012 6:09 AM
    Way too late for the “no retaliation” thing, sweetheart. I’ve been feeling it left and right. Thanks.
    Was I rude in my response? Yes.
    Did I swear? No.
    Did you take six lines of dialogue to get through to what you wanted to say? Yes. The conversation you posted here and the conversation that took place wasn’t NEARLY that short.
    If you’d like some credibility, post the chat log screenshots of what happened. I mean, seriously. Who on earth says “I’m doing taking serial dungeons atm.”

    NavimieAugust 10, 2012 6:38 AM
    My apologies it was tanking serial dungeons atm. I should proofread more.
    If I misinterpreted your response icedragon I am sorry.
    What’s done is done. Its in the past and I will not speak of it any further except to reply all my readers comments and hope lessons have been learned on both our parts.

    IcedragonAugust 10, 2012 6:50 AM
    “My apologies it was tanking serial dungeons atm”
    No, it wasn’t. “I’m chain-running dungeons atm” is what I said. You also left out the line where you remarked I was the only person online in my guild, followed by my question of “So what?”
    You slandered me publicly with a horribly botched personal interpretation of the chat after we apologized to one another on Twitter yesterday. That’s a pretty awful thing to do. And then to bait people to trash me all day with a blog post? Ouch.

    TargeterAugust 10, 2012 6:58 AM
    Hey cockwad, back off. She said she was sorry. She’s clearly (and incorrectly) taking all the blame for this encounter. Before I read these comments I was like, “Hey, wow, that was unlucky. Got caught on a bad day but I’m sure they made up. No biggie.”
    Then I read your comments.
    Fire. You. Jump in it. Way to keep beating on a pretty nice lady, internet tough guy.

  14. Concordiat says:

    I’m sensing a very Jules-ian vibe from you at this moment.

    “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the
    tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through
    the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike
    down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you!”

    This Fool totally went nuclear on Navimie for NO good reason. That sort of asshattery is just awful. Good lord, how many addons are out there that will hide chats during dungeon runs? 40? 50? Jeez dude, if you require perfect Zen to tank a year+ old dungeon, you’re doing it wrong. No excuse for that kind of behavior in any case. Navimie was perfectly polite, in game and out. What a dick. My /ignore list has about 3 people on it. If I ever find out this guy’s name, he’s getting added to it.

    • Concordiat says:

      …And reading the comments on Navimie’s blog, said numbnuts has felt need to continue said dickishness. I’ll not call him out over here too, but seriously dude, drop it. You were wrong. Say so. Ask forgiveness. then STFU. No “I’m sorry, but…” No. You. Were. Wrong.

      Unfortunately, this guy is clearly of the “escalate until I get my way” type of buttwipe that is all too common on the Internet. I’d hope he gets /gkicked for his behavior, but I *know* he wouldn’t learn anything from the experience and would just make life miserable for Navimie (and others too)

      /ignored

  15. Chairman Kaga says:

    *waves flag of support for BBB and Navi*

    This douchecanoe deserves every bit of flak he’s getting.

  16. Temato the Bounty Hunter says:

    Hi BBB, I haven’t played WoW in over a year but I remember a raiding add-on, possibly Deadly Boss Mods, that sent an auto-reply to any messages received while fighting a boss in instances or raids which told the sender you were busy fighting and the % health of the boss. If Icedragon is such an elite, hard-core raider why didn’t he have that installed and then scroll up after the fight was done to reply to the tell? It’s a shame when people with the “short man syndrome” walk all over the genuinely nice personalities. I deal with this same type of crappy situation every day at work, but at least in that circumstance I have some authority to take the asshats down a peg when it is called for (I’m a criminal prosecutor). Anyway, hope both your’s and Navi’s day improves. Thank goodness for /ignore.

    Temato the Bounty Hunter
    (formerly Morphster of Aggramar)

  17. Gilgor says:

    All I can say is WOW. BBB, you are dead on. Poor Navi.

  18. Christopher says:

    Right on BBB. Fuck you Icedragon you 3 cock garage internet tough gal.

  19. Tazor says:

    BBB you are my hero. I wish more people had the balls to call out the asshats of the world. I wish wow had a “rating” system like ebay sellers. Then the asshats would think twice about what they say/do.
    Rock on

    • Chairman Kaga says:

      It sounds like a good idea until you realize that the asshats would just 1-star everyone not as leet as them.

      Best solution is the one we have now — only run dungeons with pre-made groups. Let the self-righteous leet asshat crowd rot in their eternal queues.

  20. Effraeti says:

    I think you totally hit the nail on the head, Bear. In fact, I am sure Navi can vouch for the fact that if you had not wrote this before I noticed the whole situation, it would probably be contained in a most similar post sitting on my own blog right now.

    Navi is one of the kindest, sweetest people I know, and this azzhat deserves a blanket party, yo.

    Thankfully, Effing Effy can remain very very peeved off Effy. Bear to the rescue!

    ~ Effy

  21. BlackDragon says:

    Posting in support of BBB, Navi and anti-jerk behaviour!

  22. Cymre says:

    Navi was the one who called me this morning to tell me how it’s played out on her blog and yours. It’s nice to know she has such strong defenders in her corner, who aren’t afraid to publish their names with a comment.

  23. Divina says:

    This guy is a total douche bag! I don’t know Navi but I want to know her now. It pisses me off that this game and plenty more are occupied with such assholes and I’m glad you’re calling this shit out. In addition to occasionally reading the BBB, I’ve also taken some of your advice in leaving a dungeon (taking the 30 min penalty) when I’m in the presence of such assholes.

    Thanks!

  24. E says:

    Honestly, if someone in my guild pulled that kind of stunt, they’d find themselves guildless very quickly. I don’t giving a flying fuck how leet a raider you are, how many precious purple pixels you have, or what special title you have over your name. If you treat someone like shit with MY guild tag over your name, it reflects on me and what I’ve worked hard to build, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let some fuckhead ruin it. Maybe that makes me a bitch. But I also know that it means that people who are in my guild feel safe and looked after and know that they’ll have a Mama Bear who’ll standup for them, anytime, anyplace, anywhere.

    -PO’d E

  25. […] will not go too indepth into the actual happenings, as both Navi and Big Bear Butt explain it very well.  But call me angry.  Call me Effing Effy effing across her effing blog over […]

  26. Zwingli says:

    As always, you are so right!

    Z

  27. Tink says:

    That person is the reason I haven’t and won’t ever bother asking about bringing an alt over to hang with O&N’s guild.

  28. donkeybanana says:

    “/DND Sorry if I do not reply, I am currently tanking dungeons and have disabled whispers. Please ping me later or send me an in game mail and I will get back to you. Thanks”

    Or be a cunt and get shit on. Simples.

    • E says:

      This. It’s simple. It’s to the point, and it’s not rude. And there’s no misunderstanding when reading it. Why can’t everyone be this logical?

  29. dragonray says:

    I. LOVE. YOU. SO. MUCH.!!!!!!

    That is all, You said everything I said in my ranting post, but decided not to publish, mine had more swearing and less coherent sentences than yours :)

  30. Andrew says:

    That guy sounds like a total asswipe. IT’S A GAME, AND YOU WERE TANKING EASY CONTENT. There is no excuse for such a reaction, and it betrays deeper emotional problems. What a douche. We’re with you, BBB. If this guy suffers for being called out on his retardation, So Be It.

  31. Kaldor says:

    BBB I started reading Navi’s blog on your recommedation in one of your posts, and found her to be all the wonderful things you described. I don’t believe you should apologize for your behavior in this matter. Being a passionate defender is admirable. Unfortunately this person is just another shining example of the “Internet Fuckwad Theory”. We all stand beside you in ur support of Navi.

  32. […] which is to stand up for a total stranger on the internet! You can read all about it here at the Big Bear Butt – he was one angry bear, who wasn’t scared to call out the asshat […]

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