I’m reading Tides of War.

I’m not that far into the book, Cassie got it from the public library yesterday. She finished it, so it’s my turn.

Yes, she finished the book before we did the Fall of Theramore scenario. I did not. She seems more disappointed in it than I am. She expected…. a LOT more.

While reading the book, a few thoughts pop into my head.

I love Christie Golden, I know some folks don’t, but I can see the difference between a good writer writing a great book of her own crafting, and a good writer writing the best book she can with storylines handed her by a design team.

She does a great job with what she’s given, is what I’m saying.

Anyway, as I’m reading, some thoughts pop into my head. Not nice thoughts. Snarky, smart ass thoughts.

If you haven’t read the book, please don’t read past this point. I don’t want to spoil things inadvertantly for you, and also what I might say, taken out of context and in a sarcastic way, might give you the wrong impression.

Okay?

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First, what up with Thrall? Thrall and Jaina getting all chatting and he’s like, “You know, you need to get yourself a man, that’ll chill you right out.”

What up with that shit? Really, Thrall?

Now, I could’ve taken that like, all sexist and shit. Woman ain’t no good unless she gots herself a man. But this is Christie Golden, so, no.

Instead of that, I kinda got the feeling Thrall was doing the same thing I’ve had happen to me before.

You have a single friend, they get married, and they get so full of the awesomeness of being married with their snugglebuns that they want all their single friends to get married, too.

Or perhaps they realize that they’re now stuck in an eternal hell of their own creation, and can’t stand to see your single ass happy and free. Whatever.

But in that same conversation, there was a completely different point that needed to be made.

Jaina tells Thrall he needs to go have himself a talk with Garrosh, that boy be fucking some shit up. And, you know, little reminder here, but, Thrall, you done saved the world and shit, stood up side by side with the Aspects, you lit a fire up Deathwings’ ass, your orc homies be listenin’ to yo ass if you set ‘em straight.

Thrall, he leans back, looks at Jaina all relaxed and says, “Ain’t my problem. I’m in the Earthen Ring now. And I might be the leader of the Earthen Ring, but really, all we do is smoke weed and listen to Hendrix, man. That Garrosh shit? That’s your problem, you deal with it. And don’t come crying to me if you’ve got some hotheaded militant asshole all up in your business looking to stir up some shit. *cough* Varian *cough cough*.”

Are you shitting me? Really?

“Hey Thrall, dude, you spent all of your life bringing your people out of slavery and instilling some pride and discipline into them. You carved out a home for them, built strong alliances with other races, and told your former captors to go piss up a rope. You’ve given a lot, and you’re entitled to some peace, quiet and a life raising a family. I know.”

“But dude, stop and think about it. You spent your life building all of this, but that fucktard you put in charge has killed your best friend, sunk your treasury in debt to the goblins for an all-iron makeover of Orgrimmar, and is actively working to launch a war that will endanger everything you have built, and send it all tumbling down into ruin. Can’t you, like… I don’t know, SAY something? Hell, just go on a fucking tour of Orgrimmar, check shit out. What, you hate your people so much now that you won’t even set foot in Orgrimmar?”

Thrall leans back, takes a puff, “… Nah. It’s cool. Y’know… now I can go to our real home in Draenosh when I want to, fuck a bunch of desert wastelands. Let it burn.”

Yes, I’m exaggerating a lot, but what? Just… sure, nobody listens to Jaina, because nobody really thinks SHE’S going to go all berserker and shove a fireball up their asses if they stick her in a corner or patronize her.

And let me tell you, the day a bunch of men ignore a fucking Mage and patronize her? That’s the day she SHOULD shove a fireball up their asses and remind them of who has the BOOM STICK.

But fine, nobody listens to poor Jaina, and she gets all frustrated because those assholes still don’t respect her opinion after all this time.

But who exactly in the Horde is going to ignore the opinion, or orders, of Thrall?

Who?

Thrall walks on into the new throne room, sees Garrosh standing there with the Blackrock Orc, wanders around listening to some of the news about guards and the Blackrock smacking around anyone that voices dissent, hears about how some vanish in the dark, gives a quick chat to Baine and Vol’jin..

Are you seriously telling me that he couldn’t stop it?

With two sentences he could have shut the whole thing down.

“You are a disgrace to the memory of Grom Hellscream and an enemy of the Horde. Get out of my sight or I will kill you where you stand.”

He’s Thrall. He forged an Orc nation from nothing and brought his people out of despair, forged an empire and saved the world. Fuck an Orc that grew up in some pussy place like Draenor, where there are so many animals to kill and eat nobody has to farm in Nagrand.

Seriously. Thrall. Disappointing, man. That shit is weaksauce.

Hey, other than those minor quibbles, the book is pretty good! I’m only on page 97, but I have a good feeling that they’ll find the Focusing Iris, avert a war and save Theramore in the end.

Right, guys? Guys?

Guys?

6 Responses to “Snarky Thoughts While Reading Tides of War”
  1. Riegnman says:

    Yeah. That’s exactly what happens. *Walks away whistling*

  2. Matty says:

    Wait, when did Jaina become a character from a Margaret Mitchell novel?! LOL, Bear!

    Thanks for making me laugh this morning, Bear – just what my inner pirate needed!

  3. Beshara says:

    You know, I had similar thoughts reading that part. Just because Thrall has a woman he won’t listen to reason? If I were in Jaina’s position, I think I would have lost it, especially knowing her track record of love interests. As her friend he should have known better than to bring that up after Arthas.

    The other part I have an issue with is in The Shattering, the short story on the website, and in Horde quest line in Stonetalon, they worked so hard to make Garrosh relatable, and to show his growth as a leader. Then suddenly he is a bloodthirsty warmonger who won’t listen to advisors he would have listened to before. It’s like all the lessons those previous stories showed him learning are thrown out the window for convenience.

    I’m not too far into the book either, so we’ll see how things develop.

  4. Tesh says:

    I had a similar response to the Arthas novel, also by Golden. I got the sense she was doing the best she could with what she was given.

    …what she was given was… weak.

  5. Thunderspank says:

    There needed to be more time spent on character transitions.

    Thrall is a neutered weak little pansy who is too scared to walk into the city he founded. If anything he should be able to walk into ANY CITY IN AZEROTH and be respected after what happened in Cataclysm. And you’re right, he gives not a shit that his horde is behaving dishonorably?

    Varian is suddenly reasonable, calm and collected.

    Garrosh has eschewed honor completely and there is that Blackrock Orc around that everyone in Org is accepting and okay with.

    WTF? How does this happen?

  6. BlackDragon says:

    I, uh… I’m not good at trying to explain things, but I feel I have to throw my two coppers in anyway so here goes:-

    I am not going to argue on the “Heya Jaina, go get a partner – it’s good for you” part. I didn’t pay attention to the romance budding part when reading the novel and will most definitely pretend it did not exist.

    However, I have to speak up regarding Thrall’s action/words about not interfering with Horde politics (being a noble son of the Horde myself =D ).

    Post-WotLK, Garrosh returned from Northrend to the adulation of an entire generation of Horde due to the Horde’s successful campaign against the Scourge. It was exactly this reason that made Thrall considered appointing Garrosh as the acting Warchief in his stead when he had to go to Nagrand to learn deeper about shamanism. And during his tenure as acting Warchief, Garrosh had done things that has increased his popularity among the Horde (not all of them, but a majority nonetheless).

    It’s for that reason Thrall can’t (won’t?) interfere – to suddenly walk into Orgrimmar and boot Garrosh would piss the people who loved Garrosh. Discontent will bubble up. Given that Thrall has already considered himself part of the Earthen Ring, whoever is chosen to replace Garrosh will soon find himself/herself having to deal with either hostiliy or insubornation (sp?) or negativity from the pro-Garrosh side. Depending on how the matter is handled, it may lead to a Horde civil war which will be the last thing the Horde needs (like the Alliance, they’re also still recovering from losses in WotLK and Cata).

    TL;DR :- Garrosh is a popular Warchief atm. If Thrall boots him, it may lead to bad, bad things.

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