Every time I think I’ve reached the plateau on the Warlock Project, another layer of “what the fuck?” is peeled back.
It’s funny. I’ve kept myself so ignorant about this one class for so many years that I feel like every post is something along the order of, “Guys! Guys! Did you know you can fly in the Eastern Kingdoms and Kalimdor now?”
“Oh, no WAI! Really? Um, welcome to 4.0, dipshit.”
Still, exuberance and enthusiasm. It’s what I bring to the table. News, pithy posts and sharp witticisms… not so much.
Pithy. Pithy. It pays to enrich your word power, I wish I were more pithy and less pissy around this here blog.
…. I’m really not feeling well at the moment, and I wish I were on some medication to explain that last bit. Anywhooo.
TANKING as a Warlock. Hilariously awesome.
I reached level 75 a few days ago, or yesterday, or something like that.
I thought I knew the power I could reach as a melee cloth-wearing spell casting tank, and then I hit level 75.
So, here’s the deal. Level 75 unlocks your third Glyph slots… and also gives you access to a new tier of Talents.
I walked into level 75 eager to grab my Grimoire of Supremacy, and have new, sexy looking pet models. Dual-wielding upgraded Felguard? Sign me up!
I casually glanced at the other two talents in the tier… Grimoire of Service, lets me pop an extra demon once in a while… really? That’s what they came up with? Talk about phoning it in.
And the other one, Grimoire of Sacrifice. Execute my pet so I get a buff? How lame is… wait a minute. If I execute my pet, I get a buff that last how long? An hour? An hour long buff… hmmm. that might be doable. It’s long enough that I wouldn’t be forgetting all the damn time, like Horn of Winter.
Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound so stupid. And I get one of the pets abilities as my own? AND some of my other spells get supercharged? And I get a regeneration buff too?
I’m a tank, so I want everything on me anyway. Should I do without my pet, and I turn into an ever more powerful, supercharged Warlock tank? One that regenerates Health too? But I’m a pet class, damnit!
There has to be a catch here somewhere…
Let’s hold off on that for a second, and look at Glyphs.
Siphon Life seems like a gimme, I get 20% of the damage my Corruption does back to me as healing. Can’t go wrong there…
Wait, what is this Soul Consumption shit? I get back 20% of MY HEALTH every time I kill something that gives me XP or Honor, if I do it in a demon form?
Well, does it work in my Dark Apotheosis tanky form, or only in the temporary Metamorphosis form? There has to be a catch here…
HOLY SHIT IT WORKS IN DARK APOTHEOSIS FORM?
So… let me get this straight, because I’m confused how the hell this happened.
I can play a Warlock, choose Demonology, equip the Glyph of Demon Training to get a permanent tanking demon form, equip the Glyph of Soul Consumption to get 20% of my health back every time I kill something that gives me XP or Honor (so long as I get the killing blow, and not my pet), take Grimoire of Sacrifice to execute my pet for a one hour buff that gives me new abilities, increases the power of some of my other abilities, and also regenerate health?
I just… *sniff*… I’m just so confused…
I’d like to know why they chose Warlocks to do this to instead of Druids, you know. I mean, if they were going to just crack open the cookie jar and shower a class with every goddamn thing in the universe, why couldn’t they do it for Druids?
Huh? What did you say? Becoming a rideable mount? Having weapons that make our butts bigger, or catch on fire? Being able to farm materials without leaving Flight Form? Shhh…… those don’t count. Those are OLD shinies. We’re trying to get NEW shinies… Blizzard, what have you done for Druids lately?
This tanking Warlock thing is for reals. They’ve got everything except a proper Vengeance buff and the ability to queue as a tank.
I’m torn, though. I can see how I’d be unstoppable while leveling if I take this Sacrifice thing, but I’m already unstoppable now, with my pet. My Felguard is a big part of my extra damage, so stuffs die fast.
Do I execute my pet for the buff and solo that way, or do I keep the pet with upgraded powers, and go on as I have been? I think I’m killing stuff faster now than I would be.
And if I keep my pet, should I take the Glyph of Siphon Life instead, since my pet will probably get more killing blows than me, and also I intend to run lots of lower level raids once I finish leveling, so I wouldn’t be Soul Consumption anyway?
Decisions, decisions. ARRGGGHHHH!!!!
I tell you what I’d like to do. I’d like to put together a team to take on Cataclysm ten-person raids, that will let me be one of the tanks as a Warlock. I’m curious how it would go. No Vengeance, but ridiculous AoE… adds tank? Yeah, I’m thinking adds tank, but you can’t know until you try…
We’ll see how squishy I feel once the bulk of my Heirlooms shut off at level 80, and I hit Mount Hyjal. That should put the proof in the pudding! Or get the proof out of the pudding… or what the fuck, the proof is in the pudding, but who put it in there, and how the hell would that even work?
Hey, how is your day going? We don’t talk as much as we should, I really miss our chats. Why not pull up a chair and let tell me how it’s HEY! get your hands off me! Where are you taking me? Oooh, that’s a nice coat. And so clean and white! Can I try it on? Hmm, a bit stiff, but it sure does cover! The sleeves might be a bit long, can we get this WHOA