Ah, progress.

Remember back in the bad old days when gold sellers were everywhere in game?

Oh, those evil gold sellers! Just waiting to pounce on an unsuspecting account, hack it, loot all your stuffs, and all your guild banks belong to us!

It’s so nice that all that went away, right?

Or, at least it all got a lot quieter. Subtler. Whispers and Battletag friend invites and calendar hacking.

Of course, with all the hate directed to gold sellers over the years, funny how little rage or attention I see get directed towards gold buyers.

Without an eager market with money in hand, services that cost money to provide go away. Like website hosting and the buying of WoW accounts to spam people with gold seller crap.

It’s a time honored formula. People have websites and accounts that collect gold (or are receiving accounts where hacked characters can send gold), and there are the mules farming gold making items and the people hacking the accounts to loot.

You want to buy gold? Then you find a website (following the link from that spam you got in your friends list yesterday will help) and if you trust them enough to give them your money, your real money, and your character name and server, maybe they mail you golds.

Or maybe you are tired of being level 34 on your main, or on your alt, and you want to be level 90 right now to raid with your friends. Or maybe you suck at PvP, you’re so bad you’re ashamed, and you wish there was a way you could just be famous for PvP without having to actually DO the PvP.

You go to one of those websites, and now comes the true moment of faith. You give them your real monies, and your account name and password, and trust that they will play your character FOR you, winning in random battlegrounds, earning loots, making levels.

All supposedly without trolling everyone on your server, joining guilds to try to loot their banks, using your character to farm golds for their other customers, whatever.

There have to be people who think that sounds good, otherwise how are these people still in business? And make no mistake, they are still in business.

But they’ve gotten smarter about it. We’ve gotten smart, we’ve gotten authenticators, closed off some of the more outright larcenous ways of getting something for nothing by hacking our accounts, so they have to entice customers by addressing the biggest concern you can have;

Faith that they’re not using your account for evil shit.

I got an email from someone looking to advertise, looking for a marketing partnership, as I often do. A good rule of thumb for me is, if someone contacts me thinking they can advertise on my website, that means they’ve never visited my website. Um, no ads. No paid reviews. You either haven’t visited my website, or you really think highly of your gold making guide, don’t you?

So the email I get today is for one of these marketing ad partnership blah blah blah. As usual, I don’t reply to it, but I do check out the link.

Prepare to get your mind blown.

They aren’t really gold sellers, they’re more than that.

They focus on the whole “we take over your account and play your character for you” market.

Want to own in rated battlegrounds? Buy their service and they’ll hook you up. You’ll be leet in no time!

Want to be level 90? They can power level you!

Want to have that ultra rare mount that takes a complete raid achievement of all heroic modes and achieves? They’ll get it for you!

Just make an account, give them all your infos, no problem they’ll hook you RIGHT up!

And while they’re doing it…

They provide you with a link to the live stream of them playing your character.

Yep. That’s right. So you can have absolute faith in them, they live stream everything they do while on your character, and you can watch on your special channel and see everything they do, everywhere they go, when they’re pretending to be you.

….

JUST WHAT THE ‘SQUIRREL FLYING OUT THE NORTH END OF A SOUTH-BOUND MOOSE’ IS GOING ON OUT THERE?!?!

I can’t even… I’m trying, and I can’t believe it.

There is so much to discuss on this, and I’d love to delve deeper into the whole idea, maybe we can do that in the comments, I don’t know.

What I do want to know is, who out there doesn’t have the time to play their character, but does have the time to watch a live stream of someone ELSE playing their character?

How have we finally gotten to the point where someone is willing to pay someone else to have fun playing their character, ans watch them do it?

Holy bacon on a stick, Batman!

Oh my God, is this how professional sports got started? First we enjoy playing the sport, then we got older and had free time, money and careers but didn’t have the athletic skill to play anymore, so we started sponsoring other people to play at higher skill levels while we watch and drink beer and admire the game we used to play ourselves?

What comes next?

Do we start betting with other non-player spectators on our favorite PvP players that we’re already paying to play for us? Is that it?

Where do I find my cyber-bookie, and what are the odds on the DeGei vs Gulvan pet battle deathmatch? Can Rades and Vidyala host the event with AngryOrc giving color commentary?

Just WTF, people?

14 Responses to “A New Evolution in Cheating!”
  1. Tesh says:

    This is where I should come up with something snarky around the “they like to watch” line, but it’s been a long day.

    As it is, I’ll settle on “yeah, this is a Bad Idea”… but I’ll note that I’m pretty sure the only way I’ll ever see some raids is on YouTube.

  2. alburet says:

    I’m kinda with Tesh here, they have something similar all over the web……… it’s a four letter word starting in P. ya got it grats

  3. Errol says:

    I really thougt they were gone This news to me

  4. Zwingli says:

    “Where do I find my cyber-bookie, and what are the odds on the DeGei vs Gulvan pet battle deathmatch? Can Rades and Vidyala host the event with AngryOrc giving color commentary?” made me LoL irl!

    Z

  5. Perrin says:

    I’m still waiting for them to include spectator mode in Raids. They’ve been talking about it since BC. If we’ve got a 14 person raid team, I’d prefer to have the 4 sitting out on progression watching what’s going on, and having input.

    Though that will just cause the opportunity for betting.

  6. anonym says:

    well, the account thiefs have not disappear.

    Every month they try to hack mine.

    In 2012 they were able to get into it 3 times even with me having an authenticator. Of course the normal answer from Blizzard was that my computer were hacked. At last I got a rep that took me seriosly. Turned out that they had my real name (probably from previously success) and delivered fake ID from an ip in my country using todays paper.

    Even with a sticky note in my case file they were able to get around it.

    Now Blizzard just send out the usual request about ID etc and then close it without me being involved.

    Of course if I actually need to open up a case, I need to follow a certain procedure.

    well, guess that is the drawback having an account were I feel broke if the total is below 1 million G.

  7. Zeirah says:

    Omg, are you serious? How did they come up with this idea, why on earth would I pay someone to have fun for me.. would anyone do this?

    • Mannyac says:

      Umm can you say internet porn paysites?

      • Riegnman says:

        I was avoiding bringing this up so as not to offend BBB’s delicate sensibilities. But, yeah, it is almost exactly the same idea.

  8. Kal says:

    The Nov 2010 issue of Game Informer did a Sacred Cow BBQ that calls WoW a “Sam’s Choice version of Middle Earth”, “A Bratz game for 36 year old dudes”, and after mentioning the gold farmers, “A game so tedious you’d actually someone else to play it for you.” Quite the roast.

    I’ve always privately lamented the existence of gold sellers, but perhaps as you are now, we should all become more vocal about this problem. While the TOS is clear that WoW belongs to Blizzard, and we only lease the game, so to speak, I still think that, in practice, WoW belongs to us all. As such, we are all collectively responsible to police ourselves.

    • Riegnman says:

      This, I think, is possibly a more disturbing thought. A bunch of 13yo (or 20yo) asshats thinking that it is their responsibility to “keep Azeroth clean” kinda scares me.

  9. Gulvan says:

    I don’t think the PVP deathbattle match would last long considering DG has all lvl 25s and I have a lvl 3? Great article!

  10. […] The Big Bear Butt: A New Evolution in Cheating! […]

  11. Legolene says:

    Yeah. Unbeeleevable.

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