Once upon a time in a magical, far off land there was a bear.

The bear liked to growl and dance, and talk, and eat heaping piles of bacon.

But above all else, the bear liked to bounce.

From dragons and dungeons to instances and invasions, his big brown butt could be seen happily bouncing to the beat of nations.

Times change, talents were added, tweaked, moved and were lost, but the bounce went on.

Damage was mitigated, reduced, dodged and avoided, but the bounce went on.

Finally there came a day when mitigation became active, and something had to give. The bear could either be bouncy or be beat on, but not both at once.

With sadness, the big brown bear realized that if he gave himself over to being the most active, properly defensive bear he should be, he would have nothing left over to bounce with.

The bear felt his world turning quite gray and cold. Bearing on the bounce was what prevented feeling old.

“A bear without bounce, that just will not do! Oh bother,” the bear thought, “bouncing has gotten too hard to do! Perhaps it’s time to leave tanking for the fast-fingered crew.”

The bear settled down and his days turned quite slow, for he had no more oomph and no particular place to go. He rested in his tree and ate bacon all day, and wondered through the hours what new games he should play.

“I loved being a bear and bouncing all day, and swiping my paws in the enemies’ face. I wonder what’s out there, what else I could do to bring the good times bouncing back with a good swipe or two.”

The bear looked around, and read through the lists, of character creation and leveling kits. Monks and Pandaren, Priests and Paladins too, so many options to choose from but none that ring true!

But wait, what am I thinking, the choice is quite clear! It’s a pandaren hunter that can bounce it’s butt near. I’ll grab a big gun and have a funky dance, and when it comes to bouncing just watch that groovy ass!

Off the bear went, and felt his soul on the mend as he hunted Isle mogu with his dinosaur friend. Growls and stomping, leaps and chomping and a fat feast of feathers flew, the feral spirit was returning with a bear bouncing through.

The hunter tried raiding while shaking his fluff, and bouncing around goofily soloing stuff. The Island of Thunder got smacked with a bow and a gun shoved quite rudely where no gun should go.

It just wasn’t the same, some essential something was missed. Did he make the wrong choice in the character class list? The bear felt himself sitting in front of the screen, wondering “Should I keep logging on in, or start shopping on Steam?”

He didn’t know what to do, was his time over in WoW? If there was no more joy, stick a fork in it now.

He finally decided to make no sudden rash moves. “My father procrastinated, I’m going to too! Why act right away to decide what to do? I’ll putter and potter and mutter and ramble, and mess with some alts while I chat and I scramble. In time I’ll find out if the magic’s all gone, or if theres still some fat spark lurking deep in the wand.”

The bear played with his Pally, his Warrior and Priest, but though they were okay none of them bounced like a beast. The paladin felt clunky, the warrior lacked range, and the priest looked all awesome but couldn’t move worth a damn.

Then he tried something new, something he’d always abhored; he rolled a slimy warlock (but at least it wasn’t a Horde).

The Warlock seemed crappy, it had pets without style, everyone summoned the same with random names from a file. If you’re going to have pets, at the very little least you could let us enslave them for a variety of treats!

Why isn’t this Warlock the same as the Hunter I know, but with red and green fire and a staff not a bow? I want it all different, but also the same, because I want it new but still different, yes I’m completely insane.

Why not give it a chance, why not try out the specs, see what demonology is like, I hear it’s a tank with a pet.

I tried all the specs out, and was flabbergasted to see that the more that I played it, the more it was ME!

The warlock could leap and could bounce and could hop, all while spitting red fire and sending pets out to chomp.

Demonology meant you could leap forward quite far, be tough as a tank and chew bad guys like sharks. You grew giant bat wings and great honking horns, and the ground at your feet swirled with purple arcane forms.

Affliction meant you were a poisonous beast, and it was everything I hated in my original priest. I didn’t want to drop DoTs on a bunch of bad guys, and sit watching as they took forever to die.

Then someone suggested I give destruction a try if I wanted to bounce and tear around on the fly. “You get to rain fire and dance all about, lords a leaping and chasing and shooting green dragons up the snout.”

I gave it a try, it all seemed pretty cool, but I’m a bear in my heart and this warlock felt crude. I’m not about evil cackles and eating your soul, a chomp on some bacon’s as far as I’ll go.

I know it’s all fun and I’m having a blast, but do I really want to play some evil asshole in a mask?

Turns out yes I do, I just pretend I’m not evil, the fire is quite nice and doesn’t REALLY burn people. I’m a sleek deadly warlock that destroys all evil in sight, I like long walks on the beach, provided there is a warbringer to fight.

Yes, I know it’s not proper that a bear turns to fire, but the DESTRUCTION LETS ME BOUNCE WHILE I SET THING ALIGHT!

I can fire and torch baddies from morning til noon, and all the while bounce like a big fricken loon.

The pet thing turned out to be fine in the end, there is something reassuring about a dedicated tank friend. When my blueberry is out I know right away that it’s tanking he’s doing, I don’t have to respec a thing. If I want to shoot fire I whip out the imp, and when it’s time to turn freaky I bring out the whip.

The more I wanted to hate it the more my love grew, this Warlock all bouncing and in sweet evil clothes.

Now I spend all my time in the game like I should, bouncing around having fun like a happy bear could.

I may be purple and green and throw red fire about, I have a blueberry for a pet and scare things when I shout, but I can solo warbringers and kill DeGei with a portal and I can bounce all I want while I rain fire upon you.

I know it’s not proper for a bouncing bear butt to say, but in the heart of a warlock I found a reason to stay.

12 Responses to “Confessions of an Inveterate Bouncer”
  1. urbanmech says:

    Glad you found your bounce in hurling friendly fel fire. My main has been a lock since vanilla. Lots of ups and downs as a class. I learned the finer points of tanking on my bear alt by reading your blog. It’s been enjoyable watching you come int your own as a warlock.

  2. koalabear21 says:

    Welcome to the dark side. I am glad you love our cookies. ;-)

  3. Shane says:

    I was disappointed that your focus moved away from your druid.

    I find there is plenty of “bounce” in my druid tank, the only times I arent bouncing about the place is because Im about to take a mission critical taunt so I stand there waiting to taunt. Other than that bounce is all there…

    Come back and bounce some more.

  4. Beshara says:

    I can understand the feeling. Sometimes you just need a change in order to make the game fun again. My husband had to similar issue with his paladin and rerolled Mage, and is having fun again.

  5. Saliira says:

    Yay, I’m glad you found your bounce again! I love my destro warlock alt — nothing better than setting things on fire while BEING ON FIRE. :-)

  6. Nothing beats bouncing like a big fricken loon although I’m still in my Demonology stage. I’ll flap my wings at them while you set them alight. :)

  7. Mary Pinkney says:

    Hi BBB,

    I used to really enjoy healing on my resto druid. I found it fun until they changed the healing mechanics a while back. I stopped playing Wow at that time, and have recently come back and am playing a warlock. I am level 88 and three quarters. I started out as human and didn’t like it, the character felt to stiff. Recently I changed over to worgen and am really enjoying it, except for the constant sniffing sounds :). The other day at work I found myself sniffing like a worgen to my huband, it was funny. I am currently leaning how to play destruction, and figuring out the best way to set up my spell bars. I am using quartz, and am wondering if there are any other addons I need to use as destruction? I am having fun playing a worgen warlock, even though I don’t know everything. Can you solo really hard content for fun with destruction, or do you need to use demonology? Do you know of any current warlock blogs that would be good to read? I know about icy veins. Have fun playing your warlock in the game, and my husband and i enjoy reading your blog.

    • bigbearbutt says:

      I use ElvUI, and it let’s me easily track my burning embers in Destro.

      Cassie likes the stock UI as much as possible, so when she dinged max on her Warlock I installed Quartz and a supplementary Quartz addon for Warlocks that will add a tracker for them. It took a couple minutes to move the bars around where she liked them, but I love being able to see where those embers are.

      • Mary Pinkney says:

        Thankss for telling me about addons. I will look into ElvUI. I am currently only using Quarts, without the supplementary addons for Warlocks. I will look for that supplementary addon tonight when I get home from work.

  8. Andy F says:

    Such a cool post :D

    I do rather enjoy my warlock (it’s my second 90, my first being my disc priest) and like you he’s destruction spec. In fact he doesn’t even have dual spec, and I’ve felt no real desire to try it until now, although what you said about demonology sounds kinda fun so I reckon I’ll give that a go.

    @Mary Pinkney: I’ve found it really helps to have a way to easily track how many Burning Embers you have, both full ones and partial ones. It’s also important to keep track of your Conflag cooldown, and most important of all, have a SUPER OBVIOUS way to tell when Fire and Brimstone is enabled, lest ye end up casting several 30%-power Incinerates by mistake and draining all of your Embers. Similar for Blazing Speed if you took that talent, since in the middle of a boss fight it can be hard to notice when you accidentally activated it, and it’s alarming for healers when someone’s health is constantly draining for no apparent reason :D

    Regarding soloing, well, like I mentioned before I don’t have any experience with other specs but I’ve not felt particularly constrained by being in destro; use Grimoire of Supremacy for a super-blueberry and you’ll be ok for most things, I reckon. I did my Green Fire quest as destro FWIW, and that was pretty danged hard.

  9. mooftak says:

    Late reply but make sure and check out affdots if you haven’t yet. It works for all specs, for destro it can track RoF duration, stacks of backdraft, conflags and cooldown, and strength of immolate.

    • Mary Pinkney says:

      I haven’t tried that program yet, but I will tomorrow night when I get home. Thanks for your comment about it.

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