Archive for the “Bacon” Category

The holidays are sadly over, and the winter blahs have begun.

You know what this means, right?

The return of the Bear Sunday Fun Runs!

Hopefully the emphasis is on the “fun”.


I’m planning on our first 25 person run of the new year being this Sunday, January 13th, from 6:00 PM to 8:00 PM Central Standard Time (CST, also known as Greenwich Mean Time GMT – 6 hours).

Who can take part:

Before I get into the details, in order to be a part of these cross-server runs, you have to have your participating character be Alliance, and also be part of the North American/US server group. It makes me sad that I can’t play with so many awesome people I read about and follow from the European servers, but, well, that’s what we get to deal with.

Typical Bear digression wandering away from the topic:

On the positive side, I do get to play with Aussies and listen to their awesome accents. On the negative, well… Canadians.

Just kidding! A lot of my guildies are Canuckleheads, they know I love them and their poutine. Oh, and Canadian Bacon? This just in. IT’S HAM!

I have to be careful not to antagonize the Canadian folk too much. I live in Minnesota, and in the long cold winters, I can hear them up there the other side of Lake Superior, sharpening their ice skates and thinking long thoughts on our bacon. If we push them too far, I can see them sweeping down out of the North with their sharpened hockey sticks poised to attack, ready to eradicate our heretical salty-sweet crispy smoked-pork ways.

What was this post supposed to be about, and how the HELL did I get to talking about a war with Canada over bacon?


Coming back to what we’re doing and who can take part:

This go around, with successful ICC and Ulduar achievement runs under our belts, I want to bring us up into the more recent Cataclysm days.

Specifically, this week I am putting together a 25 person team to go into Firelands this Sunday to do a complete clear, up to and including Ragnaros.

This first run would be a ‘getting familiar’ run, not a full-fledged achievement run or heroic mode kill. What achievements could be done quick or as part of the normal run we’ll go for, but the emphasis on this first run will be on spending the two hours getting everyone in the team familiar with each fight and understanding the basics.

Oh yeah, and on killing lots of flame-based mobs.

Right now, I do NOT have anyone in the group confirmed aside from Alex, Cassie and myself. Nobody has dibs on legendary questline items, nobody is a confirmed tank or healer, it’s a brand new fresh run starting up as of today.

Now, what makes this run different from previous Bear Sunday Fun Runs is that this is very recent content. I believe it will still be challenging for a group that is not used to playing and communicating as a team, especially once we get into achievements.

What I’m leading up to is the level requirement, and class composition.

For this team, I prefer that everyone in the group be level 90. I’m not going to be a hardass about it, the occasional 88 or 89 won’t be a problem. But I’d definitely prefer most of us be level 90.

As far as class composition, we’ve always been lucky in the past to have a great mix of tanks, healers and DPS players. The only difference this time is, I’m going to be looking to confirm folks in those tank and healing roles before the Sunday night run comes. I want us each to be as prepared as possible for what we’re going to be doing.  

Today Ragnaros, tomorrow the achievements!

Once this Sunday introduction run is complete, the following Sunday runs we will work on completing each of the related Glory achievements. Because of that, I hope that each person who signs up to take part will be able to keep coming back for the next few weeks, so we can get the entire group through as a team.

Yeah yeah, how do I sign up for a spot and a role?

If you are already on my Battletag friends’ list, then just whisper me when I log in this week or email me and let me know you want to take part, and what role you want to play in the team. I will start a list, and it’s a done deal.

If you are in my guild, I will be putting the run up on the calander so you can sign up, and I will be whispering you to see how sure you are you will be able to take part Sunday, and as what role.

And if you are neither of those things, email me at and we’ll work out the Battletag stuff so as to be sure to get you in no matter what US server you happen to be on.

Aw shit, legendary drama.

One last thing. If you are specifically intending to take part in the raid to further your progression in the legendary weapon questline, you must let me know IN ADVANCE of the run, including details on how far along you may already be. Emailing me is fine. I will make a list of each person, and figure out by some arcane manner who will go first, and let everyone involved know before Sunday. If you have never started it before and are hoping to do so now, make sure you email me so we can talk.  

I’m really looking forward to this.

I know a lot of people out there were raiding full time at the leading edge during Cataclysm and are sick of Firelands, but I always liked it, and I know neither Cassie nor Alex were able to take part in a Ragnaros kill. I have to figure we’re not alone in that, so hopefully we’ll have enough folks eager to go that we’ll be able to have a hot time in the old town this weekend.

I hope to see you there!

UPDATE 1/9/13: The tank situation has been covered, as Askevar and Venoym are going to provide the skilled tanking services for the team this Sunday.

Comments 13 Comments »

After the Power of Bacon video I shared last night, I felt that I needed to back up my stated love of bacon with some proof.

I’ve shared things on the blog about bacon before, but it occured to me that most of the time I’m sharing with you the passion other people have shown for bacon. I’m not giving you any examples of the lengths I have gone for bacon in my own past.

Time to rectify that.

Recipe time!

Back in the old, old days, as a US Marine stationed in Camp Pendleton, California, our unit would frequently have beachside PT parties.

I surfed a lot back then, and played a ton of volleyball, so being one of the beach-dude sergeants in the unit I sometimes found myself ‘volunteered’ to run ladder volleyball competitions (department against department, of course) in tandem with company-wide beachside cookouts.

I had to bring food just like all the other NCOs and officers, but I also had to make sure all the gear was grabbed from MWR for the volleyball and get the setup and organization done, run around getting things squared away, etc. I didn’t want to stick myself with a dish that would take a lot of nursemaiding, in case shit came up that pulled me away.

There is no excuse for failing in a task, even bringing a dish to a potluck picnic type thang. If your food sucks, you don’t get to whine, “But Gunny, I had to go get Motor T and Supply over to field four, I didn’t have time to stir the jambalaya, it’s not my fault, waah.”

No, I had to anticipate what was likely to happen, and plan accordingly. My friends, sing along with me the same old song, “Prior Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.”

Ah, the classics never go out of style.

So, since the first lesson is “no plan survives contact with the enemy”, I had to anticipate that no matter how well organized I had the events, shit would come up that would drag me away from my dish. I had to have something that would feed a lot of Marines and also take very little of my time during the actual competition and events.

A ‘fire and forget’ meal, if you will.

This, then, was my self-directed mission. To come up with a dish that would be damn tasty (pride is on the line here, you don’t just half-ass anything in the Marines, even a meal. Dear lord, especially a meal.), feed a big crew, be easy to transport, and take however long it took to prep but require very little attention once game time came around so I’d be free to run around watching teams and keeping track of the ladder match-ups.

This was my solution;

Bacon-Wrapped Brown Sugar Devil Dogs

In short form, what you’re doing is taking bacon, wrapping it around mini-sausages, and then putting them in a crock pot a layer at a time, covering each layer in brown sugar.

Oh, yeah.

The tools you’ll need:

A ‘really big’ crock pot or slow cooker and some tongs.  That’s it. You can use a regular sized or small crock pot, of course, but you’ll fit in less sausages, and that’s a sad thing. I prefer the oval style crock pots. You’ll see why later.

The ingredients you’ll need;

3 pounds of regular-cut smoked bacon, what countries other than the US might call ‘breakfast bacon’.
1 large box of brown sugar.
3 packages of mini-sausages, the precooked kind that in the US we commonly call “Lil’ Smokies”.
1 package wood toothpicks OR wooden satay skewers.

How to prep;

Cut the bacon strips into halves or thirds, depending on the bacon. The goal is to have a piece of uncooked bacon just long enough to wrap around the circumference of the mini-sausage, overlapping a little bit.

Lay out the ingredients like a production line; a bowl of mini-sausages, a pile of bacon pieces, a pile of toothpicks (or skewers) and the crock pot. Keep the brown sugar in a box to the side.

Take a mini-sausage, wrap a piece of bacon around it, pin in place with a toothpick all the way through, and put in the crock pot. The toothpick should hold the bacon on the mini-sausage.

Long wooden toothpicks work well for this, because they extend far enough through the mini-sausage to make it hard for the bacon to slide off while cooking.

Pro Tip, over time I started using wooden satay skewers instead of toothpicks, with multiple bacon-wrapped mini-sausages on each skewer. It works very, very, VERY well, especially since the skewers have less tendency to stick to each other in the pot like masses of toothpicks do. The drawback is, they are best used when you have an oval-style crock pot to let them all lay flat. Most crock pots are the round style and it’s hard to get the skewers to fill it in even layers.

Place the bacon-wrapped mini-sausages in the crock pot until you’ve got a solid layer, then cover that layer with brown sugar.

Keep repeating this, make another layer and cover with brown sugar, until the pot is mostly full of layers with brown sugar covering the top. Then put the lid on and get cooking.

How to cook;

Cook in the crock pot on high about 4 to 5 hours.

Walk away, you’re done. Hell yes!

The important thing to remember is the mini-sausages were already cooked when you put them in, and will just get better the longer they steep in hot brown sugar/bacon fat.

Note I didn’t say they would get healthier. If your health is a concern to you, you should have stopped reading this a long, long time ago. Don’t just walk away, take your granola-eating bran-munching low fat ass and RUN AWAY RUN AWAY NOW.

As the dish cooks, the bacon cooks off, the fat and juices blend with the brown sugar to create a sauce you wouldn’t believe, and all of this just… it just gets better and better over time without your having to do anything. You don’t even have to stir it, since the cover keeps all the moisture in the pot to rain down on the top layers, forming a crust.

You’ll be able to tell they’re done when all the bacon is fully cooked through on the top layers. If the top is done, the bottom layers are good to go.

I would spend the night before prepping it all, then leave the pot cooking all night long. Unplug, carry to the beach, set to ‘warm’ with tongs on the side to fish ‘em out of the pot, and walk away, mission accomplished.

I hope the next time you have a get together and your thoughts turn to bacon, you’ll keep this treat in mind!

Comments 9 Comments »

Beloved friends, thank you for helping Jessica win the contest, and the viola at

Here is your reward.

You can tell how much I love you, by the beautiful power this reward holds for you. This truly comes from my heart, to you.

Comments 5 Comments »

You know, it’s not often that just the thought of what I’m about to do to YOU, my readers, brings such a smile to my face as I’m sportin’ right now.

The best bit? I know some of you are going to buy this. I know it. I know you, oh yes I do. I’m not even sure Ursiheil is going to wait for the page to finish loading.

This is just fantastic.

Damnit, I’m shivering, this is so good.

Can I have your attention, please.

I am proud to announce to you, my fellow bacon loving bears, that you can now get down and dirty with your bacon, and it’s perfectly all right.

In fact, it’s what it’s for!

How many times have you said you loved bacon?

Well now you can! No, really, you really can love bacon. In fact, that’s what it’s DESIGNED for!

Now you, yes YOU, can get BACONLUBE.

Oh yeah, that’s right, this ain’t no April Fools, this is BACONLUBE for reals!

 To quote J & Ds Foods webstore;

You’ve always been a lover of bacon. Well, now you can be a bacon lover with baconlube, the world’s first bacon-flavored massage oil and personal lubricant.

Just… just think about all the things YOU could do with bacon-flavored massage oil AND PERSONAL LUBRICANT. And it’s safe for vegans!

It’s brought to you by the makers of bacon salt, so you know it’s got to be good. And well thought out. ALL the ramifications. Well thought out. Hours spent just thinking about it. A million and one uses.

It’s one small step for man, one giant leap for bear-kind.

Have you thought about what you could do with bacon-flavored massage oil AND LUBRICANT?

It’s thinking about what you’re thinking that is making me laugh my tits off, to paraphrase Lewis Black.

This is real, this is now. The future of bacon is TODAY! So get yours now.

Go! What about this idea could possibly give you reason for concern?

Comments 20 Comments »

Was in the car, right lane of two Westbound lanes, stopped at an intersection with a traffic light.

The light turned green, and we started moving ahead.

On the left came this pickup truck, just a-roaring up the road.

Truck was going 90 mph, at least, and all of us in the right lane were at 45 mph at most.

The truck, no shit, roared on up to a car that was in the left lane, and then without slowing down moved into the left turn lane at the intersection, passed the car like it was standing still IN THE TURN LANE, and then cut back in front of the car and continued on down the road.

One of the most insane, stupid, dangerous pieces of unneccesary driving I have seen in a long time.

And then, just as I turned to Cassie to say something snarky about it, what should I see but…

A Bear.

A Smokey Bear, I mean, a State Highway Patrol officer, so named for the smokey the bear hats they wear.

Blue and red flashing lights and siren run up from the highway patrol officer that just happened to be four cars ahead of us, unseen until just the right moment.

I saw that smokey bear roar off after that truck, and I was filled with an inner joy so intense that I felt physical pain.

I heard once that the French language has a specific word which means “screwing off on company time and getting paid for it.”

There should be a word in the English language whose specific meaning is, “The joy you feel at witnessing someone else be a complete douchebag, and then get immediately busted for it like a lightning bolt from God rammed straight up the ass.”

Something like….


Comments 11 Comments »

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