Archive for the “General” Category

I was fortunate enough to get a Hearthstone Beta key earlier this week. A completely new experience for the Bear household!

I’ve never played a collectible card game before, and neither has my son. We’ve both seen Pokemon cartoons though, so we know what they’re ALL about, amiright?

So, enter Hearthstone, our first ever foray into the world of collectible card games, and without even needing physical cards.

This is my first report on our experiences.

I installed the game on my computer and account, and started it up. Nice opening cinematic.

I started the tutorial, played the first two battles, and then noticed I had a quest progression bar at the bottom of the screen, and realized that I was ‘unlocking’ new cards each time I had a victory on the starter character, the Mage Jaina.

Uh oh.

From the beginning, I had expected Hearthstone to be something the Cub would enjoy doing more than me. I had only intended to mess around for a bit and get a feel for what it was before letting him have at it… and you kinda need a tutorial to learn the rules of a brand new game system.

I checked it out, I dithered for a few days. It turns out that no, you cannot ever replay the opening tutorial sequence. It introduces you to each concept, and then you can learn it more in depth when playing the Practise game to unlock all the character decks.

But I get ahead of myself.

I played the first two tutorial card battles, and I couldn’t go back. Those missions unlock new cards, and those cards go into your deck. There is currently no option to replay the tutorial missions, with pacing and explanation, over again.

I would like to see that added some day in the future. Include an option to replay tutorial battle sequence with the XP gain and card unlocks removed. It would be a great way to introduce the game to a friend of yours over for a visit. Let them sit down at your computer, and have them play the tutorial missions with your unlocked cards turned off, so it was clean as the first time.

We don’t have that option, so I could either continue to play through, then teach Alex directly. Or I could do what Cassie suggested, and find a Youtube or Twitch channel where someone filmed/recorded the entire sequence.

I decided to play the rest of the tutorial and then sit down with Alex and coach him on it afterwards.

I played through the Mage quests, and then took on two or three battles in the Practise section to try and unlock other character decks.

I also spent $10 in the store on the 7 expert deck combo, to lock in my own Beta bonus legendary card, Gelbin Mekkatorque.

In the practise room, you can play with either their basic decks or your own custom decks. I stuck with basics for my three fights… and I got my butt handed to me. So, I learned how to play by the tutorial, but I clearly didn’t really know what I was doing yet.

Good enough to bring Alex into it? Sure, why not. Can’t do worse than I was already, and as long as I didn’t try to teach him my mistakes or shoddy thinking we’d be good.Llet him develop his own understanding of the mechanics and I t should be fine.

Last night I interrupted his Minecraft Youtube video watching marathon to ask if he’d like to try Blizzard’s brand new digital card game. He didn’t seem all that excited about it, but I had it up on my computer already, so he could just plop his butt down and play.

I made it too convenient to blow off in favor of videos. Heh, this is a big deal! He doesn’t really play WoW anymore, he’s too busy playing Minecraft for a half hour, then watches Minecraft videos for a half hour, then asks for a mod or map he saw and plays Minecraft again.

Side note, the Minecraft 1.6.2 mod “The Aether II” is incredibly awesome. So is Galacticraft. If you like Minecraft, check them out, true winners.

He wanted to watch me play it through, see what it was like.

I went into a Practise battle with the Mage, who remained the only deck I unlocked, and I narrated what was going on while I did it and let him make decisions for me and asked his opinion.

Imagine his shock when I got my butt handed to me, and he learned that yes, in fact, that was normal for me and that I had yet to win a single real Practise battle.

Would he like to try? Why yes, yes he would in fact like to give it a go, thank you very much. He had found excitement in leading the way, so he could then teach me.

I sat with him while he did some battles. First one was against Garrosh, and he got his butt handed to him. Health and attack power were concepts easily picked up, it was the Mana Crystal and card cost concepts that had the learning curve.

He kept getting so excited at what HE was going to do next he forgot that once his Crystals were gone his turn was done. Understandable, right?

His next battle was against the Rogue. That was an excellent introduction to strategy.

Against the Rogue, he got the joy of having a big minion card in his deck, one of those big Mana Crystal cost minions with 6 attack power AND 6 health kind of thing. Wow, this is going to rock!

And as soon as he plays it, the Rogue casts Assassinate and insta-gibs it.

It happened again later in the match, fielded a super powerful minion expecting it to distract long enough to do something else, and on the next turn it was instantly Assassinated.

I explained that you could only have two of any card in your hand. In that battle, he at least now knew that the Rogue couldn’t do it to him again. And if he had another big card like a Legendary, he could’ve fielded it without worrying about Assassination because he’d already scared them both out of the Rogues hand.

I saw the wheels turning.

Legendary cards?

I showed him the collection tab, where you can browse through all of your cards. I showed him how each character deck had special ‘class only’ cards, and then there was a minions tab that could be drawn on by everyone.

And I showed him how, when I purchased my $10 batch o’ cards, I’d been lucky enough to get a Legendary, Ysera. So we had two Legendary minions in our deck.

Immediately he wanted to know how you make your own decks. I hadn’t done that, but I’d seen where the option was so I showed him, and showed him how you could build your own Mage deck by picking up to 30 cards.

Then I left him to it and walked away to talk with Cassie about how much fun he was having.

I came back about a half hour later, to find Alex had built his own Mage deck, making absolutely sure to include both legendaries in his deck.

Here was the shocker.

He used a lot of 1 Mana Crystal cards, at least six or seven. He made sure to include like 5 taunt/tank cards after the way he got crushed by the enemy using taunts. And he had almost no 2 or 3 point cards. Lots of 1s, a couple fours and a ton of 5s and up.

And he’d already defeated the Rogue and the Warlock.

As I watched, he finished kicking holy hell out of Anduin.

Mind you, this was before he’d reached level 7 and unlocked more basic mage deck cards. Yes, he had the cards we got from my $10 purchase to draw on (knyuck, knyuck) but still.

Um, yeah. Okay. So, time for me to get my son to teach me how to play.

He ended the night jubilant and wanting to keep at it forever.

My ending thoughts on this.

First, the beta key is tied to my account. For the Cub to play, he will have to log in through on the computer using my account.

I have found out, YES, you can have two computers both logged into the same account at the same time as long as the GAMES you eventually log into are two different games. This might be why you can’t transmit chat from within the interface, only from within a game. We had on with my login on two computers. He logged into Hearthstone on his computer, I logged into World of Warcraft.

When he took a break before bed to change to Starcraft II, he closed Hearthstone, started and logged into Starcraft II, all on my account, and all while I was in WoW. No problems.

The flip side to this is, until we get another beta key or the game goes live, he and I will not be able to play against each other, and all of his efforts are, yes, going into building decks on MY account. Heh.

So, when the game goes live he’ll get the wonderful opportunity to play through that tutorial he missed the first time…

And then when he’s ready to play, I’ll get to CRUSH him with the decks he built! Woot!

The Cub had the day off from school today, one of those whatever things schools do to make sure working parents who DARE not to stay home all day to play happy homemaker get screwed.

I was very helpful. I left the login name and password, and my authenticator, right there on his computer so if, oh, he felt like playing Hearthstone, he could do so with ease.

it’s okay. It’s safe. He won’t delete my characters, and he’s got more gold than I do, so it’s not like he can loot me blind.

What’s the worse that can happen?

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I work as the project manager and service coordinator for a company that services Overhead Crane Equipment. We service and install everything from the hoist on your shipping dock to the massive installations at mine sites on the Minnesota Iron Range.

A part of being in this industry is having the proper training and certifications, and for people working on mine sites one of the key certs is the MSHA training, or Mine Safety and Health Administration.

You can take those courses online, but they are rated by hours of training, and part of the online deal is you have to sit in a chair in front of the computer with a webcam on you, so the instructor can verify visually that you are really there, paying attention 100% of the time.

In my office, I am the guy that sits in a chair and coordinates everything on the web or over the phone. Working with vendors, customers, service techs and invoicing all day long. I don’t go visit customers or work on the job site anymore, and when Minnesota winter rolls in, I’m damn happy about it. Snow is for snowmobiling, not replacing a hoist cable 50′ in the air on a bucket lift.

The two sales guys who work out of the office, however, DO visit those sites, and being cheap bastards who want as much of a commission as possible and resent the service tech labor hours taking their slice off, they try to do as much work themselves as they can. Even if that means being a ground guide for safety. They DO need MSHA training.

Our annual training program is due at the end of the month, and for the last month we’ve been told we had to login and get it done, on our own time of course, from home.

Guess who has the entire suite of MSHA training in his online basket? This guy.

Guess who DOESN’T have that training in their lists? Yeah, those other guys.

And guess who has been gloating about only having five eensy, weensy little classes to do, and has nevertheless been bitching constantly about having to do them on their own time?

Yeah, those guys.

I’ve been staring at, conservative estimate, over 19 hours of online training, fixed sitting in your chair watching videos without fast-forwarding options, while those guys have maybe four hours tops. And they’ve been bitching, AND gloating at my misfortune.

For a month.

Ah, but this morning. This wonderful, happy, frabjous day!

Our department manager, who works out of another city (and yes that is as glorious as it sounds) is in town for the monthly managers meeting for all the branches.

And my manager stopped in to give me a fresh Toby’s pecan caramel roll, and to see how it was going.

He brought up the training, reminding me that is has to get done by November 1st. Then he asked where my most gloating coworker was today.

“Oh, he said he was going to be taking the day at home to work on completing the training.”

“you do what you have to do. And John, if you have to do it on overtime, well, I’m not going to bitch about it.”

“Well you know, that’s fine but it’s hard to find a solid block of time to do it, what with all of that MSHA training added in among the normal office ergonomics and bloodborne pathogen stuff. That’s going to be over 20 hours, and you know I can’t be gone from work that long, so it’s going to have to be weekends.”

“Oh wow, you have MSHA on your training list, John? Oh, you don’t really need that. I’ll get that taken off your list, you should only have like five things.”

“Really? Oh, maybe my list got switched with Tim, then. He was saying just the other day how his list only had five items on it, and you know he spends all his time visiting mine sites.”

“Oh, thanks for letting me know, I’ll get that fixed and get that MSHA training on his list where it belongs.”

Oh my, yes.

Yes, it is going to be a most frabjous day.

I’m a very conscientous person, though.

I made sure to call Tim’s cell phone, and I left him a message to let him know that all of those courses would be added onto his required training list, so he didn’t have to worry about it anymore.

And I made sure to explain exactly how that came about.

Somewhere out there, very soon now, I expect the universe to echo to the cries of “JOOOOOOOOOOOHHHNNN!!!!!!!!”

That caramel roll is going to taste very sweet, indeed.

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For as long as I’ve played, I’ve heard the phrase that ‘your game experience may vary’, based on the fact that however the game may be coded, much of how we experience the game is flavored by events beyond Blizzard’s expectations and outside of Blizzard’s control.

Or does anyone think erotic role-play in the Deeprun Tram tunnels was part of the original design doc? Anyone?

Think about it, you’re wandering round, exploring this massive world, you take the Deeprun Tram one day and see the windows opening out to the bottom of a seafloor. Wow! That was cool, but it was there and gone in the wink of an eye. You decide to walk down the tram tunnel to get a closer look, see if you can make out any features that would help you locate that spot from outside the game.

It’s vanilla, you don’t know the Tram is instanced and doesn’t actually look out on the game world.

You walk your way down the tunnel, and as you round the corner, there before you revealed in the shimmering greenish-blue light of the water are two figures, both engaged in some heavy /saying.

Booya! You done been ERPed.

If you got ganked with a facefull of ERP, your game experience MIGHT have varied.

So much of the social part of the game is out of Blizzard’s control, and when they have tried to implement some form of spanking on individuals or guilds that were doing things they didn’t want in their game environment, they’ve seen some heavy media interest.

World of Warcraft has long left the realm of a privately-owned game in the eyes of the media. It’s an alternate world where our subscription fee pays the taxes of our citizenship. When a group of Azerothian citizens get their behavior addressed by the Blizzard government, it’s reported as censorship.

I don’t recall reading the World of Warcraft Bill of Rights… oh wait, EULA. Mayhap I did.

Regardless, there is the legal reality and the media fiction. In law the EULA holds sway, but in the court of public opinion any attempt at restraint or coercion of guild behavior based on what we consider real world discrimination gets high visibility.

I’m not saying that is wrong, I’m using it as an example of how far past being a typical video game World of Warcraft has become. We treat it as a real place we go to, and we bring our baggage with us. We invest in it our expectations for a real world, and we bring it to life.

We call it logging in, but we could just as easily call it stepping over.

My point in bringing all of this up, other than rehashing what we already know, is that there is more than the social that changes our online experience.

How this game plays is powerfully affected by how successful you are in PvE raiding or PvP battlegrounds/arenas.

No, I know, obvious, but to me the difference has never been more stark than in the release of the Timeless Isles.

In the Timeless Isles, our power level has a new baseline, and any fresh character reaching level 90 can take a quick flight and reap the iLevel 496 storm.

In any other place in the world, that iLevel 496 gear is going to make you a contendor. Questing will be easier, dealing with adds on your farm will be trivial, even dealing with the occasional mob aggro while farming or pursuing Archeaology becomes so much easier.

But the isles itself assume that baseline of gear, and ups the intensity.

The Isles are a challenge and a half for any new player to make their way just to reach those chests for the new gear.

But what about the player that started raiding with success in the first week of patch 5.4, has their legendary cloak and is already pushing iLevel 550 or higher even without heroic modes?

A fifty point gear gap doesn’t sound like much, does it? Well, yes, yes it does.

I go to the Timeless Isle on a character that has iLevel 496 – 510, and it’s a struggle, a challenge, and I look for grouping opportunities. I don’t start shit with elites or rares, I watch my step, and getting two elites like the tigers or gulp frogs on me is a sure sign of impending doom. I follow the herd for the larger rares, and if Garnia were to spawn while I was all alone, no sense pulling at iLevel 496, I’m not going to survive that massive bolt of destruction more than twice.

But on my main, the character I am raiding on…

Game experience may vary wildly from baseline. Ridiculously.

The experience is night and day. The entire Isle opens up it’s possibilities, and anything can be soloed (except probably Evermaw, and really… why would you want to go that alone? Ugh.)

When your gear is from current raiding, Garnia is just another enemy to destroy as soon as she appears. The Scary Sprite encounter becomes a race to see how many you can get to spawn in the shortest possible time, using all out AoE to bring a few hundred enemies to your feet in a heap.

It’s liberating, but at the same time it’s an eye opener.

Going there on a squishy iLevel 496 character can get frustrating, but it’s also a tense stalk through a wild world filled with danger. You’ve got to be on your guard, hunting your prey while always aware that the prey might be you. It’s thrilling to be at risk, that thrill is part of the reward. But you have to accept a slower pace.

On a raiding or powerful PvP character, it becomes a blistering trek at high speed to get to the next rare spawn point, with some minor feelings of irritation when that tiger pounces you and you have to take a second to swat it down.

Both are fun ways to play, but both are vastly different experiences.

With such a wide disparity in power levels from baseline to raid, that is why I love the Burdens of Eternity as drops comparable to, and even more powerful than LFR gear (aside from it being random stats).

In a perfect world, everybody should be able to experience that shift in power.

Oh sure, people who raid and are working hard get there first, but their reward is they got there first. Raiding in my opinion shouldn’t confer ‘first class citizen’ status forever.

Put another way, non-raiding players aren’t second class or low class, and it’s nice that even without LFR you can enjoy the game and work towards those Burdens, becoming ever more powerful. Feeling for yourself the way things become less tense and you become more the master of your environment.

There isn’t a roadblock between you and the feeling of POWA! except how much time you spend doing things that bring you Timeless Coins to buy your 476 weapons and Burden upgrades.

Sure you have to raid in some way to get through the Legendary cloak quest, but even without it, nobody will stay at that starter baseline forever so long as they take part and play.

It’s amazing. I’ve seen so many people chugging away on alts now, just since the release of patch 5.4, leveling and questing on abandoned characters. Heck, I’ve seen a definite increase in people starting characters on the opposite faction now, somewhere fresh and new. That promise of gear at the end is a compelling incentive to a fresh start.

Game experience may vary. Damn well right it does, in every way. Great friends or all alone, asshats in guilds or way cool juniors. Tense ventures into uncharted territory or brutal domination of all who oppose you.

How can anyone sit back and make the claim ‘I played that game and it sucks’, without first clarifying which of the games World of Warcraft can be that they’re talking about?

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As High-Tinker Mekkatorque’s forces stormed into the chamber, goblin shredders whirred to life, flinging sawblades through the air. They had barely built up enough steam to stagger a few steps before being overwhelmed by the air to ground missiles of the GAS (gnome air support).

As the shedders were being GASsed, missiles and squirrel parts flew everywhere, making us duck and look for cover.

The chamber was so massive, the ceiling so high above us that there was no cover to be had. We could either turn back or charge forward into the scrum firing wildly, trusting in the luck of fools to see us through safely.

As one, we ran forward through the battle. Massive orc warriors charged us, led by the meanest badass I’d seen since General Nazgrim, only to be blasted by some gnomish device that froze them into orcsicles. We dodged around them down the hall, to end up in a huge chamber with locked doors to front and left, and an open bridge leading to a far off door on the right.

We charged to the bridge. At least here we were out of the range of the missiles and explosions.

The echoing explosions of the continuing battle receded behind us as we reached the middle of the bridge, and came face to face with big ugly.

A big ugly wearing a nameplate on his armored chest that read, “Hi! My name is STOREROOM GUARD how may I decimate you?”

Storeroom Guard? LOOT! Holy crap, the vault of da loots, in before the rush! “GET HIM!!!!”

We swarmed all over the poor guard, only to be thrown off with a power we didn’t expect. He beat us down, killed Pankration and then called for help, bringing more guards running. We quickly found ourselves sore pressed and near to dying, before with an incredible lunge Arrakeen buried her axe in the Storeroom Guard’s skull, ending the fight and saving our hides.

As we sat there catching our breath, Chron said, “Has anyone noticed the grunts in this place are harder to take down than the big guys? That was rough.”

Tom said, “So far, I really like it.”

It came as news to none of us that Tom liked it rough, but this was a bit much.

As we sat there, resting against the scuplture in the middle of the bridge, I looked around. “So, where’s the loot?”

“You’re leaning against it.”

I dragged my ass away from the sculpture and turned around. It didn’t look like much, a big stone block with carved faces done up in the manner of the Titans.


“So, it’s a Titan thingiemabob? How much loot do you think is in there?”

“The loot isn’t in there, the loot is in all those boxes and crates down there in those four massive rooms below the bridge. That thing just drops the gates so we can get in and get it.”

Oh again!

“So, who turns the thingie on and drops the gates, then?”

Chron stepped forward and said, “I’ll do it. I’m the mage, I’m clearly the best suited to do something that requires any sense.”

Chron fiddled with the box for a moment, and then stepped back with satisfaction. “There, that got it! Everybody get ready, when those gates drop it’s time to get our pillage on.”

We stood impatiently at the gates, waiting for them to fall and let us at the loot. Suddenly, a loud voice started yelling all sorts of inane crap about emergency defensive systems, intruders, death to all, yadda yadda.

“Oh good call, Chron. Way to go. You pissed the box off.”

I tried to focus on what was happening around me, but I was thrown back into a flashback, as my mind turned to the days past, with a dwarf named Brann and large Titan artifact defensive systems that never, ever simply got bypassed without incident. Ever.

I remembered the streams of troggs, the laser beams, the troggs, the explosions, the troggs, the troggs, dear Elune please make the troggs stop.

Summibs slapped me across the face, snapping me out of my waking nightmare. “Hey! pay attention, we’re picking sides.”

Wait, what?

Sure enough, while I was off in la-la land dreaming of the Tribunal of Ages, everyone was standing in a group while Pankration and Monstre picked teams. What the hell, were we playing dodgeball now?

Monstre said, “I’ll take Chron, Trajar and Callaghan.”

Pankration said, “Works for me, I want Pumpken, Arrakeen and Tom.”

Monstre looked at me and Summibs and quickly said, “I call dibs on Mibs.”

Pankration looked sadly at me. I grinned and waved back. I don’t know why, but he sighed, and I swear his shoulders slumped just a bit.

With our two teams chosen, we each lined up at one of the two gates at the sides of the bridge. Each gate crashed open at the same time, and with the blaring of the alarms all around us we jumped down into the loot-filled rooms below.

Looking around, I saw that the room was filled with boxes of loot marked with stamps that looked like green Panda sigils, Mogu and Klaxxi runes. There was a large switch handle near a gate that led to another room the same size as ours.

“Okay…. so what now Cochise?”

The commanding voice of the Titan defensive system blared overhead, “You now have 280 seconds until Ultimate Systemic Immolation. Your bodies will be rendered to component atoms in 279 seconds… 278 seconds… ”


Pankration called out, “Smash the crates! If that thing is controlling all of this storage stuff, maybe smashing the crates will confuse it or scramble it long enough for us to deactivate it!”

In what universe would smashing the shit a defensive system is protecting deactivate the system?

“You now have 270 seconds until your bodies are chopped up into itty, bitty pieces and buried alive. 269 seconds… 268 seconds… ”

“I’m breaking! Shit, I’m breaking!”

I joined team Ubermonk in smashing crates, and as each crate was smashed, a bunch of creatures came tumbling out, cramped, pissed and looking for a fight.

This is loot?

We smashed the green marked crates first, and a couple of pandas leaped out and started smacking the hell out of us. As the crates were crushed, they seemed to release a teeny amount of purple energy into the air around us.

There were a few large crates, a handful of medium sized crates and a whole passel ‘o small ones all over the edges of the room. The bigger the crate we smashed, the more purple energy was released. And as the energy filled the room, the switch handle started to glow and hum with increasing intensity.

Mantid came tumbling out of boxes, Klaxxi set bombs on our backs, explosions rocked the room and we worked frantically to kill everything around us as fast as we could. With seconds left to spare, the purple glow coalesced around the switch and the hum changed in pitch.

“Stop breaking crates, it looks like it worked! Pull the lever!”

I ran over and grabbed the lever, yanking it down hard. Nothing happened.

“Um, guys?”

“Shit! I was sure that would work!”

We heard a yell from Team Army in the room on the other side of the bridge. “Almost got it, give us a second here!”

“You have ten seconds until you are mauled by wild animals that think you have pretty mouths, accompanied by the sound of banjos. Nine seconds… eight seconds…”


The loud hum vanished with a sharp ‘clack’ and the gate to the next room dropped open. At the same time, the voice overhead announced, “In 280 seconds all music on the planet will be replaced by accordians. 279 seconds… 278 seconds…”

“Okay, that thing is vicious. Get the crates!”

Again, it was a race against time to destroy crates and kill the creatures that sprang from within. As Team Ubermonk smashed crates and killed baddies, we could hear Team Army doing the same from the other side.

The countdown continued, and Chron yelled out for all to hear, “You don’t have to smash everything, just enough crates to release the energy to activate the last switches!”

Pankration yelled, “Got it! Smash everything! Roger roger!”

“WAIT!” Pankration quickly smashed all the crates remaining in our room, unleashing a wave of every kind of Klaxxi and Mogu critter under the sun. Aw shit.

We killed them as fast as we could, but there was no way everything would die before the countdown ran out. Then I happened to notice the switch was glowing and ready to rock! We’d unleashed enough energy already, we didn’t have to finish the creatures off!

I activated my rocket belt and blasted to the level. Giving it a quick yank, I relaxed in relief.

“Ten seconds remaining until you dance the polka in a lake of fire ants for all eternity. Nine seconds… eight seconds…”


Monstre called out, “Almost got it.”

“Well get it! Got it? Good!”

With a final, bone shaking thud we could hear the switch being pulled, and the craziness stopped.

Silence reigned in the room.

I looked around at all of the smashed crates, the wreckage of pottery shards and mogu bodies.

“Loot? Fuck Garrosh. Smartass.”

“No, wait, grab one of those chains and get up here, there was loot in the Titan thingie!”

We ran to the bridge, where hoist hook dangled at the ends of chains. A quick grab and shimmy, and we were all back on the bridge to see what we had won from all of that mess.

“Um… what is that? Is that a pair of boots and a belt?”

“Yeah… but at least they’re purple.”

“I don’t care if they’re pink with purple polka-dots, that ain’t what I call the spoils of a continent laid bare.”

“Well, we broke the rest of the stuff.”

“And whose fault was that?”

We all turned to look at Chron.

“What? Hey, I pushed the button. There was a button, I pushed it. Sue me.”

Fine. “So, where to next?”

“Well, let’s go the rest of the way across this bridge. Now that the Storeroom Guard is dead and the defensive system is destroyed, that big gate is open.”

We moved quickly across the bridge. The sounds of explosions and war receded even further until we were walking along in silence.

Whatever was going on back there, I was glad to put some distance between us. I didn’t want to have anything to do with laser beams, explosions or mechanical war machines ever again.

We entered a large, rough-walled tunnel that descended further into the earth. in the distance ahead of us, we could hear roaring, and screams, and the ground shook beneath our feet at some distant impact.

I thought I smelled something funny.

“Trajar, was that your pet marking the tunnel?”


“Ah crap.”

“Yep, that’s what I smell too.”

We reached a large open chamber, high ceiling, rounded walls, dead end on the other side.

Near to us were large Mushan beasts, flying overhead were pteradactyls, and running back and forth I swear were what looked like shaved yetis.

“They’re just hungry.”

“They look like shaved yetis. I call ‘em like I see ‘em.”

“They have a fur condition.”

“Yeah, they don’t have any. They look like chihuahuas on steroids.”

A pterodactyl chose that moment to swoop down into our group, grab me and drag me up into the air.

“Wait, wtf? Halp!”

The pterodactyl let go of me as I started blasting it with fire. All the fire I had.

As I fell, I started to panic, and then remembered. Parachute! Hah hah, take that you mother-fucking pterodactyl!*

*See The Oatmeal for more adventures of the mother-fucking pteradactyl.

I landed safely, and we fought a brief battle against the enraged mushan, the shaved yeti and the pteradactyls.

Then we got a nice, close look at what filled the center of the chamber.

A dinosaur. Another goddamn dinosaur.

This time, it looked like a Titan-empowered tyrannosaurus rex with distemper, rabies and this huge honking bladed spike thing on it’s nose. It was being restrained by a team of orcs holding on to it, and it had what looked like some giant shock collar and lightning charged shackles on it’s ankles.

On all the walls surrounding the chamber were cages filled with beasts and prisoners. Apparently, they were trying to tame this giant t-rex, and the cages held it’s food.

You know, you have to hand it to Garrosh. It takes some massive inferiority issues to look at a T-Rex and decide it wasn’t scary enough, it needed a spiky blade on its nose.

Monstre, Chron and Tom took a long, lingering look at the dinosaur.

“Yeah…. I think we’re going to go see what’s behind one of those other doors. To hell with this shit.”

Whew! Missiles and explosions, here we come!

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So, massive spoiler alert, or potential bullshit alert. Most likely massive bullshit alert, but what the heck. It’s from 4chan, and that means quality!

On Sunday, a bunch of info appeared on 4chan, which you can find at Pastebin here.

Just some stuff dumped by some anonymous person out of left field. Someone claiming to be the same person who leaked the Mists of Pandaria stuff early on 4chan last time.

Yeah, I’m sure that’s 100% legit. /sarcasm x 1 beeelllllioooon

So, why bother giving some unconfirmed bullshit the time of day?

Well, the fact is I read it, and I thought it was just interesting enough to say screw it, and spread it a little wider. Like idea fertilizer. It’s a fun read. And it’s almost plausible. Okay, the Path of Titans necro makes it almost 100% pure bullshit, that’s like a major troll tipoff, but still.

Also, I do like the idea of introducing Path of the Titans as a way to level your character account with rewards along a similar structure to leveling a guild. Oh, yes I do.

I like some of the other things that tie into the Know Your lore: Tinfoil Hat Edition that Anne Stickney wrote just last week. I loved her take on what it could all mean, and it was cool to see someone either take her ideas and spin them into a cohesive plan, OR have her be right all along. :)

Plus, revisiting a revitalized Old Kingdom? That would be nice. After finding out that the Klaxxi are linked to the Nerubians in Old God worship, it’s interesting to see the person who published this, if they DID write it out of bullshit and fanboy dreams, at least wove some consistent bullshit.

I’d love to see more of the Nerubian lore. Archeaology artifacts don’t cut it.

Also, Warchief Lorthemar just tossed in like, oh well, we all already knew that.

Anyway, after the break is the entire text from the person who dumped it, for your reading enjoyment. Whether you mock, laugh, or entirely buy into it, it’s still a fun read.

Read the rest of this entry »

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