Archive for the “Hunter” Category

Coming off the levity of the last post, I thought the time was right to bring back a little serious discussion.

Thus, may I present to you…

The Return of AnnCoulter!!!

The real AnnCoulter

I was just sitting there last night, perusing my charts and spreadsheets for Rogue gear and specs, and it occured to me…

WHAT THE F&^( AM I DOING GEARING A ROGUE WHEN I HAVE A HUNTER I LOVE?!?!?

So, I resurrected my poor, lost, abandoned Hunter.

I know why it happened. When I transferred to Horde side, I had a newfound fascination with all things Hordie.

In the time that has passed, I’ve grown to love the Horde culture in a way I never thought I would (except for those damn Undead, anyway), but still… something was missing.

That something was my Hunter.

With a new feeling of enthusiasm, I returned to the Alliance, dusted off my hunter, and checked out her gear.

Damn… my Rogue’s only been 80 a week, and she’s already got a better ranged weapon than my Hunter. That’s embarassing. HPoS hoeeeee!!!!!

 I did more than just randomly start tearing up the Heroics, however.

I actually ventured into the realm of Elitist Jerks, to see if there is any love to be found there for Beastmasters.

You cannot imagine my joy at finding that Rosamonde/Florimel has been doing more than just keep it alive… she’s even updated the main BM thread with the latest ‘taken out of context’ quote by Ghostcrawler.

You know the one… the one the asshats grabbed ahold of to show why Blizzard agrees with them not to allow BM into their reindeer games.

You know…

“The only specs we really failed on in LK raiding were Frost mage, Subtlety rogue, BM hunter and Arms warrior.” — Ghostcrawler.

Well, Rosamonde is certainly keeping the torch held high in the Elitist Jerks community. And she links to several other resources helpful as well.

I read everything in her main thread, I studied specs, some spreadsheets, checked out MaxDPS, did a little more reading, and then went out and changed a Glyph, modified my spec, and started making a list of potential upgrades.

But now… now I have an interesting decision to make.

On the one hand, I’ve got Voytek the Spirit Beast Bear, my staunch and true companion, whom I dearly love. And I really enjoy taking him with me to instances, and just bumming around with me in general.

I also don’t really care what my DPS is, as far as being a hundred up or down where I *could* be. You know what? In the real world, boys and girls, we accept the human factor into our estimates. The human factor… such as knowing I’m more liable to blow my DPS due to leaving Viper on for half a boss fight than I am because I ain’t using a MM or SV spec.

You can talk all you want about optimum potentials, the reality is, the human factor means if I screw up for one second, all that potential is out the window. It also means that my judgment is called into play. Is it better to keep mindlessly burning through my rotation, or do I go off the GCD to drop a Freezing Arrow on an incoming Rifleman in Heroic Halls of Reflection?

There is more to the game than rotations slavishly adhered to, and I’m sorry, but sub-optimal spec or not, I’ll take my judgment over most of the players I get grouped with and take my chances on the final results of the Damage Meters, thanks.

So, all that being said… the Elitist Jerks thread says that Devilsaurs are the highest damage Ferocity pet available to me.

Sure, I ain’t all hung up on DPS…

But I just so happen to HAVE a Devilsaur in my Stable.

Ahem. AnnCoulter, come on out of your kennel!

Damn, AnnCoulter may be ugly, and her skin is hideous, and those fangs are just nasty, and that breath! Whoof!

But boy, she can sure bring a smile to my face when I zone into an instance, can’t she now?

There’s just something that warms the cockles of my Conservative soul by saying, “All right AnnCoulter, go git ‘em!”

Hey, just because I’m a political conservative doesn’t mean I can’t have a sense of humor. Nor does it mean I want Sean Hannity or Ann Coulter on my side in any debate over ideas you’d care to name. I still prefer to think of them both as liberal plants.

Anyway, this means I’ve got a tough choice.

Do I go with my buddy Voytek in my instance runs, the big soft cuddly bear, or do I bring out the most vicious, nasty, hideous fanged beast in existence to unleash upon my opponents?

Decisions, decisions.

Comments 23 Comments »

I promised that the entire list of awesome “… then you might be a bad tank” one liners submitted by readers would be posted. What I didn’t anticipate was what it’d take to format over 6500 words into post format. Still, I hope you all agree that it was worth the wait.

Kurn says:

If you spend more time criticizing someone’s gear score than generating aggro, causing adds to eat your healer… then you might be a bad tank.
If you focus on one mob and figure that if the DPS doesn’t focus fire on your exact target then it’s his or her problem and they deserve their death, so you won’t taunt if they pull off you… then you might be a bad tank.
If you are not a druid tank and you go into a random heroic without at least 535 defense on your gear or a raid with 540 defense… then you might be a bad tank.
If you are a druid tank and you don’t have Survival of the Fittest when you join a random heroic or raid… then you might be a bad tank.
If you pull with a taunt that doesn’t cause damage… then you might be a bad tank.
If freshly-dinged level 80 beast mastery hunters can pull aggro off of you without even trying… then you might be a bad tank.
If you don’t know what your cooldowns are and where they are on your action bars or keybinds… then you might be a bad tank.

Sukugaru says:

If you say, “lol @ fire my GS is uber,”… then you might be a bad tank.
If you say, “I don’t need to move out of the fire, I’m getting healed and my gear’s good enough!”… then you might be a bad tank.
If you say, “Fire? What fire?”… then you might be a bad tank.In another vein…
If your health drops to below 50% in 5mans in only 2 seconds, on a trash pull… then you might be a bad tank.

Nate says:

If you wipe on the first pull because you’re using a 2 handed sword… You might be a bad tank, or a DK, or both!

RhondaNZ says:

If your entire group wipes on the first trash pull and then you ask “Am I good?” while running back in…. you might be a bad tank. And also? Here’s your sign.

Milk says:

If you don’t read The Big Bear Butt blog, your DEFIANTLY a bad tank.

Athenrein says:

If you mark a target with skull and then ignore it so the dps pulls it right off of you… then you might be a bad tank.

Pascal says:

If you gogogogo on a DPS cue, not that of the afk healer then you might be a bad tank.

dbodinem says:

If you run away from the group and then wipe cause you’re out of range of the healer, you might be a bad tank.
If you pull the entire hallway in H DtK but don’t bother to tell anybody and cause you’re healer and a dps to wipe, you might be a bad tank.

Rake says:

If you’re a pally and you try tanking without Righteous Fury on…you might be a bad tank.

Bear Pelt says:

If you think after 1 Thundeclap/ Swipe/ Consecration/ Death and Decay that all aggro issues are settled and you can /dance, you’re a bad tank.

Kym says:

If you chain pull mobs without checking your healer’s mana….and cause a wipe cos the healer didn’t have enough gas to chuck you a heal, hence causing your healthbar to drop like the bottom fell out..and consequently, getting the rest of your group utter decimated….you MIGHT be a bad tank :)
If you didn’t know the lay of the land and decide to pull stuff without first checking for patrols… and happen to pull a mob that was chained to ANOTHER mob..and this gang HAPPENS to run smack into a pathing patrol, bringing an entire room to your campsite… you MIGHT be a bad tank.
If you’re a druid with 360 swipe and you keep breaking CC, just cos you didn’t know you can butt swipe… you MIGHT be a bad tank.

solitha says:

If you make a pull in DPS stance/form, then blame the healer when you die… You might be a bad tank.

Random Poster says:

IF someone asks you why you aren’t in Frost Pres/Prot stance/RIghteous fury on and you reply “What’s that” you might be a bad tank
If you are trying to tank and someone asks why and you reply ” I have a shield and the description says Shamans can tank” you might be a bad tank

Fangtastic says:

If you came back to tanking and have rank 1 TC/Consecrate/Swipe/DND on your actions bars and scream at DPS for unloading too early… then you might be a bad tank.
If you are gemmed / enchanted for spell power… then you might be a bad tank.

leah says:

If you are a charge happy bear or warrior that complains about bad pug, because healer/dps cannot possibly keep up with you zooming from group to group without stopping – you might be a bad tank.
seriously, charge is an awesome thing, but the rest of us don’t have it and running is much much slower.

Itchi says:

If your healer has a higher threat output than you…you might just be a bad tank

Aza says:

If you’re running around grabbing tons of mobs and you don’t see that your fellow Druid who’s normally in Treeform just switched to bearform to grab some mobs of your DPS before they die…. you might be a bad Tank!
On the other hand it could also mean that you just have an imba healer with actuall skills and raidawareness (sp?) :D

Rendrak says:

If you are asking why everyone is dead except you … you might be a bad tank.
If you think tanking with a pally bubble makes you and your group invincible … you might be a bad tank.
If you fetch the pizza right after the pull … you might be a bad tank.
If you are complaining not being healed as a druid tank in human form … you might be a bad tank.

Famous last words of bad tanks or “If you say xxx before you die … you might be a bad tank.”:
“Healer is afk, well I can tank through this mob group anyway.”
“Am I supposed to tank?”
“Look there is another patrol coming…”
“Does swipe break CC?”

jurnag12 says:

If you happen to rush ahead not waiting for the rest of the group, then you might be…a bad tank
If you are under the impression that healers CAN heal stupid, then you might be…a bad tank
If you are in fact, George W. Bush, you might be, a bad tank/President
If you keyboard turn sloooooowly when you hear people screaming in horror behind you, you might just be….a bad tank

Nina says:

If you post recount after every trash pull to emphasize that you’re causing more damage than the fresh 80 in your Nexus run… you may be a bad tank
If you ask the group to do Less-rabi then don’t use any of your stuns… you may be a bad tank
If you don’t use Charge in VH to get that group that just popped on the other side of the room… you’re probably a bad tank
If you like to hide around the corner from your healer and make them chase you… you’re probably kissing the floor a lot.

Rahl says:

If you decide to take on trash or bosses when the healer / dps are oom
If you decide to take on trash or bosses when the healer / dps are 2 corridors back still drinking to top up his mana
If you decide to take on trash or bosses when the healer / dps are running from 2 corridors back after drinking to top up his mana
(Could i just add the optional “and then blame the healer / dps for the wipe” to those top 3)
If you decide to ignore all tactics and just try and brute force everything
If you leave that caster mob over there wailing on your healer because hes not in your aoe attack range and its too far to walk
If you decide that you are the better tank because you have more health than the other tank (even though he is def / hit / expertise capped and you aren’t!)
If you do a miltimob pull without marking kill order and healer / dps / all die because of aggro (“and then blame the healer / dps for the wipe”)
If you enter a heroic wearing cloth because its T10 and you are leet!
If you chain pull mobs in a dungeon (without looking at your healer / dps gear) because you are leet and it doesnt matter
If you link DPS output in party chat and beat the lowest dpser because hes a fresh 80 in greens and blues and ur in T10 ICC 25 gear
If you demand a minimum of 6k GS of your heals & dps to do a heroic
If you decide to tank in dps off spec as you can do more dmg / treat way!
If you enter a random dungeon and start pulling the trash even though not all of the party have zoned in yet
If you having an important buff that you dont put on the rest of your party members even though they ask you to multiple times
If you enter a random dungeon and start pulling without even saying “Hi” or doing a ready check
If you enter a random dungeon and start pulling even though your healer or a dps says one sec i need to do a quick spec change
If you pull trash or a boss just after the healer says brb

Kaethir says:

To combine two of Kurn’s into one….
If you are not immune to melee critical hits…. you might be a Bad Tank.
…and…
If you have ever tanked 3/4ths of an instance in your DPS gear and only noticed when you wiped…. *points at self*… you might be a Bad Tank.
If you think that marking targets is only for n00bs… you might be a Bad Tank.
If you can’t alter your play to fit DPS or Healers that don’t know what they are doing… you might be a Bad Tank.
If you have ever wiped because you paid no attention whatsoever to your health and didn’t even bother to use a cooldown…. *points at self*… you might be a Bad Tank.

Sarabian says:

If you have ever said “What’s Righteous Fury?” …you might be a bad tank
If you are not specced in protection and queue as a tank …you might be a bad tank
If you have a healer sitting on the floor with a mug in his hand and a very teeny tiny blue bar as you run in and pull the next room …you might be a bad tank
If you taunt off of the mage that starts their Blizzard as you shoot the mob with an arrow to pull …you might be a bad tank
If you enter an instance as a tank and have not read up on all the fights …you might be a bad tank
If you have no glyphs …you might be a bad player

Phus says:

If you dont have the haerbalz to tell the dps to hold their horses you might be a bad tank
If you wipe the party because you didn’t turn the mob away from the party you might be a bad tank
If you watch the squishy dps die terribly because they can’t control their agro, you might be…wait no you’re cool

branson says:

If you loot mobs while there are still mobs beating on you, then you MIGHT be a bad tank.

Chillyhollow says:

You know how sometimes you are on a run and the tank, he goes and falls right off the edge of a handy cliff? KerBLOOM? Yes, sirree, that there’s a sign of what might be called–if you want to be cruel about it–(and I do) a bad tank.
If the hunter’s pet in the raid generates more aggro than you, well, DAMN. You might be a bad tank.

Tangerine says:

If you decide to take on the boss while the DPS and Healer are drinking and then when you are kissing the floor to actually have the balls to blame the healer for not healing you.. you might be a bad tank.

Saffron says:

If you ignore your healer saying she needs to switch spec and gear and start mass-pulling, you might be a bad tank.
If you tank without Defensive Stance to prove you’re cool, you might be a bad tank.
If you start trying to grief the party by leaving the instance and forcing us to wait another fifteen minutes to kick your sorry ass, you might be a very surprised tank when I log on my geared bear tank alt, have someone from my server in the party invite me, and annihilate the instance while you’re jeering at us from the safety of Ironforge…and then you come back and try (succeed) in wiping us by pulling the ghoul room in DTK onto me all at once when I have a sub80 healer, and continue to make our lives miserable by sprinting to Gnomeregan and clearing the place because it puts you in combat the whole time and that means we can’t kick you.
*Deep breath*
And then, you finally leave the damn group when only my dedicated warlock friend and I are left, and we put ourselves back in the RDF, with a few decent DPS, and clear the place in 5 minutes top, you might be A BAD TANK!

I hate you, you stupid paladin. And that wasn’t a one liner, to think about it.

If you’re a stupid bear who died on Sarth3D because she didn’t use any of her cooldowns at the enrage, you might be a bad tank. (MEEEEE)

Callyx says:

If your healer dies, and you proceed to blame them for “Not healing themselves”, you may be a bad tank.
If you can’t be bothered to interrupt because you have too many other buttons to press, you may be a bad tank.
If you’re a blood dk tanking in blood presence, you’re definitely a bad tank.

Oh, and this one: “If you are not specced in protection and queue as a tank …you might be a bad tank”
I think it only applies to tanks over 35 or so. It’s pretty common for pallies to tank as ret until they get some decent prot talents.

Rauxis says:

if you die you might be a bad tank
if your healer dies because she got aggro you might be a bad tank
if DPS dies and you care about them you might be a bad tank

Cornfedhick says:

You may be a bad tank if the priest has more armor than you.
If you have more MP5 than the healer you may be a bad tank.

Clapus says:

If the healer says ‘mana’ after a 10 mob trash pull and you say “no thanks’ you might be a bad tank.

Toureg says:

If you pop out of bear form to heal up after a very close fight on a trash pull where you just couldn’t seem to hold aggro and see that you have a fishing pole equipped you might be a bad tank.

feorfin says:

If you queue as “tank” to get short wait times but don’t have a tank spec, then you may be a bad tank…. and a bad dps.

Cold says:

If you open with Deathgrip, you may be a bad tank.

xmolder says:

If you ask a druid for a battle rez for a guildmate DPS over the group’s healer, you might be a bad tank.

Other Cassie says:

If you think the healer’s shield means that it’s reasonable for you to tell her to hold the boss for a minute while you go get a drink… you MIGHT be a bad tank.

Moonstalker says:

If the party wipes on a boss and you refuse to release because you’re too elite to run back, you might be a bad tank.

HerrDrache says:

If all the DPS have mana bars, and you’re pulling to the 2nd boss in H-Nex, and wonder why the bosses don’t die, you might be a baddadin.
If you’re asking to focus on your target (instead of marking) and switch targets every second, you might be a bad tank.
If you’re dual-wielding in starter gear on HoR(H), you might be a DK.
If you’re marking skull to ignore it, you might be a bad tank.
If you’re quitting after the sword (or Marvin) in HoR (H) for your Hilt-quest, you’re a bad tank.
If you’re not warning us that you’re new/rusty, then you’re a bad tank.
If you lose your 45+K health in plate in 3 GCDs, then you’re a dead tank.

Taeraresh says:

If you’ve ever tried to tank an instance with both a chef’s hat and a fishing pole equipped, you might be a bad tank, or you might just be me.

Largo says:

If you’re a mage, you might be a bad tank.
So STOP PULLING!

Bacon says:

If you’re a NE druid tank and you shadowmeld after a pull, you might be an EVIL tank.

Dothraki says:

If you tank with your fishing rod equipped, you might be a bad tank

Baerli says:

If you’re a druid and only have resto talents, but queue as tank, you might be a bad tank.
No joking, happened to me on my lvl21 hunter. Tank (druid lvl 30) couldn’t hold anything in bear, then switched to cat, then in caster form. Rogue and I ended up tanking most of it.

Berry says:

If I pull healing aggro and die… you might be a bad tank!

Grorg says:

If you forget to change presence/stance/RF after a spec switch, you might be a bad tank.
I haven’t done it since I made that mistake in ToC a couple months ago. Switched to dps spec for faction champs, and ended up doing Twin Valkyrs and Anub without a presence on.

I must have been doing something right though, because we downed the twins anyway. It’s hard to MT Anub without it though.

Delerius says:

If you are a tank and you don’t know what the words “threat” “aggro” and “taunt” mean, you might be a bad tank.

Veeka The Tree says:

You are a bad tank if you have no balls to make the pull.

Siobhann says:

If you’re a warrior or paladin and you’re not carrying a shield… you might be a bad tank.
If you don’t know about Righteous Fury… you might be a bad tank. (Yep, level 50 pally. RF is trained at lvl 16.)
If your healer is tanking more mobs than you are… you might be a bad tank.
If you’re crit… you might be a bad tank.
If you wonder what that empty blue bar is below your healer’s health bar is… you might be a bad tank.
If you give your healer blessing of might… you might be a bad tank.

Jacemcfly says:

If your a tank and don’t know you are a tank you might be a bad tank

Holly says:

If you’ve already pulled the first pack before the healer zones in, you may be a bad tank.
If you’ve never heard of the word ‘macro’, you may be a bad tank.
If you think ‘defense cap’ means you have a helmet on, you may be a bad tank.
If you only have 3 buttons on your action bar, you may be a bad tank.
If you find the party stays far enough back that you die, and they laugh when you ask for a ress……you may be a bad tank.
If you’re 2 rooms away by the time the rest of the group is done buffing….you may be a bad tank.

and lastly if you make a WoW blog about tanking where your title talks about how massive your hiney is you may…..wait, hold that one.

Paona says:

If you die with all of your survival cooldowns intact… you might be a bad tank.
If you’re specced into Vigilance, but don’t use it… you might be a bad tank.
If you think tanking is just “DPS-ing the enemy from the front”… you might be a bad tank.
If you think Spellpower is your best stat… you might be a bad tank.

Kevin says:

If you show up in LFD with res sickness, you might be a bad tank.
If you don’t notice you have res sickness and start pulling, you might be a REALLY bad tank.
If you have res sickness, pull, and on top of that fail to notice the healer is dead, you might be the WORST. TANK. EVER.

True story, believe it or not.

Cyrus says:

If you go down faster than a hunter on prom night, you might be a bad tank.

Rob says:

If you’re an Unholy DPS DK who thinks he can tank just by putting up Frost Presence…you might be a bad tank.

Ailea says:

If you wear your santa outfit while tanking ICC, you may be a bad tank.
If you constantly get whispers from your healer’s addon saying you are always out of line of sight or out of range, you may be a bad tank.
If you’re a druid tank and don’t have any points in Survival of the Fittest, you may be a bad tank. (Or at least not a self-respecting one :P )
If you have to wipe before you realize your healer has asked 5 times to stop for mana, you MIGHT be a bad tank :P

Tesh says:

If you keep reminding the group that you’re a great tank… then you MIGHT be a bad tank.

Imanoob says:

If your druid healer looks like an uprooted hurricane victim you may be a bad tank.
If you ask what that cool ground effect under you is… You may be bad tank.
If the DK tank flys past in unholy pesence just as the healer shows DCed you MAY BE in for another long que.
If you are trying to kill that “caster” the hunter so kindly marked for you, while the other four mobs are chopping at your spine with big axes… You may be a bad tank.

dorgol says:

If you are in the right stance / presence, wearing the right gear, but in the wrong spec… you might be a bad tank. (Happens to everyone, right?)
If you join a group as a Tank but end the run healing the Warlock’s Pet… you might be a bad tank. (In my defense, this was while leveling during the early days of TBC, and the

Warlock was 6 levels higher than we were.)
If your pet Ghoul is doing and taking more damage than you are… you might be a bad tank. (I did more tanking on that run as an Enhancement Shaman. Was fun though!)
If you thin DnD stands for “Dungeons and Dragons”… you might be a cool dude, but also a bad tank.
If you use Divine Shield because “I was gonna die!”… you might be a bad tank.
IF YOU USE ARMY OF THE DEAD ON A DRAGON BOSS… I HATE YOU AND YOU ARE A BAD TANK.

Joel says:

If you use army of the dead or grasp … you are a bad dps.
If you can’t choose a talent tree … you might be a bad tank. (saw it!)
If you constantly lose threat to a warlock pet three levels below you … you might be a bad tank

Erthshade says:

@dorgol: What, you don’t play Dragon Roulette when the group overgears the place?

If you use a taunt as part of a tanking rotation… you might be a bad tank.
If the boss has its heiney in a void zone… you might be a bad tank.
If you stand in a void zone because of ‘lolHP’… you might be a bad tank.
If you let the MDing hunter die… wait, no, that’s a good thing.

Seleria says:

If your ICC10 pug wipes to gunship 4 times because you’re crittable… you might be a bad tank.
If you then want to try hardmode Saurfang… you might be an obliviously bad tank.
If it’s easier for the healer to swap specs and tank than to heal your butt… you might be a bad tank.
If you are a fresh 80 in crafted gear but chain pull heroics like you’re in 264 gear… you might be a bad tank.
If you are levelling up, have no real aoe threat abilities, and chain pull instances like you’re in 264 gear… you make me cry.

Wentockmosha says:

@dorgol, but da dragon boss dance be so much fun!

If Brann is dead on the floor, you might be a bad tank.
If you think plate is a license to taunt, you might be a bad tank.
If you think Death Grip is fun to mess with the dps, you might be a bad tank. ( I r not, but it is fun :P)

Skul says:

If you have all 71 talent points in a single tree…you might be a bad tank.
If your idea of a mana break is to pull only the next group instead of the next three, you might be a bad tank.
If you think you’re the best tank because you’re still standing after the rest of the party goes down (healer first, naturally), you might be a bad tank.

Talth says:

If you finish ToC with your lance on you might be a bad tank.
If you run randoms with your succubus you are a bad tank.

AngerFork says:

If your Warrior or Pally tanks with a 2-hander because a DK did so well at it once, you might be a bad tank.
If someone tells you to use LoS and you start thinking they misspelled a TV show title, you might be a bad tank.
If your gear is red and you refuse to fix it because it ‘looks pretty that way’, you might be a bad tank.
If you lose track of adds because you can’t pull your eyes away from Mr. Belvedere, you might be a bad tank.
If your group cries for a Taunt and you reply with a Yo Mama joke, you might be a bad tank.
If you are tanking in Cloth for the wicked stamina boost you’re getting, you might be a bad tank.
If you are spending too much time hitting on the healer to notice that plenty of enemies are hitting on her as well, you might be a bad tank.

Nightwhisp says:

If you think an interrupt is when the phone rings while you are standing in hellfire, you might be a bad tank.
If you think Mana was a gift that God gave to the Israelites, you might be a bad tank.
If you think 540 is code for “let’s roll a fatty”, you might be a bad tank.
If you leave the group right after the holiday boss or the one that drops that cool tanking shield, you might be a bad tank.
If you chain pull three groups and then leave group while still in combat, you might be a bad tank.
If you think Def Cap is a cute and cool rock band, you might be a bad tank.

Lightshope says:

If you put 71 points Unholy, always use Unholy presence, and enchant your spell power plate with +spell power, you might be a bad tank.
Unholy was fun to tank with in the Outlands while leveling though :-Þ
+1 on “If you show up in LFD with rez sickness, you might be a bad tank.”
If you show up in LFD with rez sickness, tell everyone that you’re stupid when you’re healer asks why you have rez sickness, and then start the first pull (still with rez sickness, you might be a bad tank…
If you you have full tier 10 tanking gear and can’t hold aggro over the 3k GS dps, then you might have bought your tank on Ebay…

SliderDaFeral says:

If the most common upgrade on your tanking gear is critical strike, you might be a bad tank.
If the most common upgrade on your tanking gear is mp5, you ARE a bad tank.
If the healer has more HP than you, you might be a bad tank.

Sina says:

If you ridicule the fresh level 80 healer’s poor gear and proceed to pull enough groups that she can’t keep you up thus “proving” your point, you just might be a bad tank.

jinkx says:

If you still have your bouqeut of flowers equipped to tank HOR HC instead of your weapon and you notice after downing the LK you might b a bad tank.
happened to me and ever since the guild has a new saying: pulling a jinkx… We survived though :-)

Eberron of Ravenholdt says:

If every day you queue up and are constantly asked if you misqueued… You might be a bad tank.
If every time you queue up for a battleground and someone whispers you telling you that your PVP spec sucks without realizing what it is… You might be a bad tank.
If you stack avoidance in a fight made up of 90% magical damage, you… Might be a bad tank.
If you’re receiving your third battle rez in a single encounter… You just might be a bad tank.
If you’ve been tanking since vanilla and people routinely ask you if you’ve bought your character… You might be a bad tank.
If Eberron on Ravenholdt-US has you on ignore and you have never spoken directly to him, rest assured, you’re a bad tank.

Catsclaw says:

If you chain pull in crappy gear and run a Resto Druid out of mana…you ARE a bad tank!

Melfina the Blue says:

If you zone in, ignore the healer in shadowform, and proceed to pull half the instance, you might be a bad tank.
If you have never heard of ranged mobs, you might be a bad tank.
If you stand in the stuff on the floor because you think it’s pretty, you might be a bad tank.
If you’re attempting to tank wearing cloth heirlooms, you’re not only a bad tank but the idea of you having an 80 out there scares me.
If you’re yelling at the healer who just got one shotted from healing aggro while trying to keep you up, you might be a bad tank.

Faeldray says:

If you think that just meleeing (no special abilities) can keep all the mobs on you, you might be a bad tank.
If you hold aggro on a single mob only and completely ignore the other mobs running around splatting your DPS and healer, you might be a bad tank.
If a level 20 shammy with fire nova can tank the Deadmines better than you, you might be a bad tank.
If you never respond to the healer’s cries for mana and to slow down, and keep pulling massive groups of mobs that you can’t keep aggro on anyways, you are without a doubt an effing AWFUL tank.

The last three all came from the same pally “tank” in the same run. I was healing on my disc priest and my boyfriend’s shammy ended up tanking almost everything. The worst part was when the tank finally just left the group and the other DPSs asked to queue for another tank, never having realized that the shammy had been doing it the entire time. I wept for the future of the human race then.

If you tell your group to stay in one spot so you can pull back to them, and then later run into the next room, aggro everything, and only as you’re dying realize that they’re still back there because you forgot to tell them to move forward again…you might be a bad tank. (Me. Ooooops!)

Mentor says:

If you always look for shortcuts which fail 99% of the time you might be a bad tank..

Traellus says:

If you think tanking means you run into the middle of the group and let them hit you… you may be a bad tank
If you zone into an instance, grab all the mobs in the room and bring them towards the rest of the group just before zoning back out.. I hate you, want you dead, and you may be a bad tank (and a very bad person)
If the lock’s pet ends up tanking the mobs better then you, you may be a bad tank
If you zone into an instance and immediately cry, “God no, I can’t tank this” and drop group, you may be a bad tank (but at least you are aware of it)
If the group has to wait several minutes before each pull waiting for you to work out what to do, you may be a bad tank

Phoebrosa says:

When a kitty druid is able to steal and hold the aggro through most of the “maiden of pain” fight… perhaps you are missing something.
If said druid attempts to not steal aggro on a boss and ends up doing NO abilities – you suck.
When the kitty druid leaves form – casts innervate on healer, changes to bear for frenzied regeneration, uses survival instincts, and has flowers growing around her – YOU ARE NOT CONTROLLING THE AGGRO!!!
You pull the boss out of the black, purple or green spots or that deadly white stuff in occulus… and leave the rogue and kitty druid in it – you suck

Rauxis says:

if you refuse too take advice from your healer (who survived the last pull with 2 mobs pounding her) you might be a ….

Rhii says:

If the boss splats the healer while you happily tank his adds… you might be a bad tank.

suxxy says:

If you leave decursive on, and click it instead of the ad that appeared, thereby turning out of bear form and wiping the raid… then you MIGHT be a bad tank.
If you leave the default “auto cast on self” on, and accidentally click on a healing spell while tanking in bear form and wipe the raid… then you MIGHT be a bad tank.

Chillyhollow says:

If the tank brings his favorite Level 60 sword to a heroic 5-man PUG, that there might be a bad tank….
If the tank insists the way to run the instance is to sneak past the adds along the walls, you don’t have Sam Fisher, you have what some people might call a bad tank!

If your tank is being chased through the raid by the main raid boss, then you just might, maybe, have a bad tank.

Paona says:

If the other tank can draw aggro simply by autoattacking… you might be a bad tank.

Comments 21 Comments »

ArcturisOneCarrying on the fine tradition begun with previous awesome Hunter pets, I now ask you, gentle reader, to take on the task of helping me find the perfect name for my new best buddy and bosom pal… Arcturis, the Spirit Beast Bear!

Thanks to Mania’s Arcania, for whom my respect knows no bounds, I knew that Arcturis was making his presence known in Patch 3.3.

I laid in my plans, and following the previous guidance from the commenters on WoWHead, I parked my Hunter in Grizzly Hills, on the west side of Amberpine Lodge, at about 32, 56, hovering in the airspace over that stretch of sharply sloped hill between the Grizzly Bear happy hunting grounds of the river, and the high ground where the Lodge itself resides.

This morning, I logged in quick to do a fast check, and sure enough, Thanks to the addon SilverDragon, I saw a popup to warn me that Arcturis had been spotted!

Arcturis does have the same stats as other spirit beasts, and I know that puppies are more in fashion for DPS these days, but I’ve been hoping for this moment ever since I first saw a PTR screenshot of him. How could I not?

So help a Feral Druid out, by suggesting your idea of the perfect name for Big Bear Butts’ new Big Bear pet!

Thank you, and may the spawn go with you!

Comments 38 Comments »

Ahh, a gratuitous Full Metal Jacket quote.

You know it’s going to be a good day.

Oh, and the quote has no relevance to the post. I just like quoting Full Metal Jacket. And I wish I had an R. Lee Ermey action figure.

I said action figure, damn it!

So, what brought me to just spontaneously mention R. Lee Ermey, John Wayne, and Full Metal Jacket?

I was reading a post by Chawa at The Wayward Initiative, where she has an idea for an Achievement Title she’d like to see added to the Pilgrim holiday event… and was soliciting ideas for what you could do to earn it. :)

I’ll give you a minute to go over there, read the post, and then bookmark the site. With posts like that, you’ll want to go visit again, right?

Okay, let’s go.

The quote Chawa chose is pretty good. It sets up the situation… “You done caused a lot of trouble today, and you dearly deserve a solid asskicking. I’m a better man, and I’m not gonna be the one to lower myself to give it to you. Wait, you know what? On second thought, screw that, I am gonna kick your ass.”

So in what situation can we identify someone that needs an asskicking, and then proceed to kick their ass?

Of course, I immediately consider ways to pwn my own faction. If there is anything that can get a person frustrated, it’s having to deal with people being asshats on your own faction, in your pugged groups, in your Trade chat, whatever, and not being able to gank the living shit out of them.

The next thing that comes to mind is, if it’s for an Achievement during a temporary holiday, with a 7 day duration… can we get have a temporary ‘smackdown’ item or flag for them, that lets us affect our own faction?

Now, how to make sure the people that get nailed are those that deserve it.

That… that right there is the hard part, isn’t it?

After all, who determines who deserves a good asskicking?

Well, sure, me. Of course. You can trust me. :)

As Future Sam thought to Past Sam in Night Watch, sometimes the difference between something being right or wrong is that it’s you doing it. 

Okay, that’s facetious, but when I read that, I knew what he was saying. You know what your intent is, and if you’re gonna take the law into your own hands and be a vigilante, well, you know your own motives, right? But that other bastard… who the hell knows WHAT he was thinking? He’s probably an evil, mean, nasty sumbitch, right?

Okay, it was a lot funnier when Sam thought it.

Still needs to be said… *I* may be okay with me having the power to decide who does or does not deserve an in-game asskicking… but I bet *you* aren’t.

So, who do you trust?

In World of Warcraft, we’d have to trust Blizzard’s game designers, right?

So, for there to be a judgment set up by Blizzard game designers… it has to be able to be articulated and implemented in an automatic fashion through programming.

Is it possible to build in a method by which the game can detect a behavior, and then mark the person for elimination (or bitchslapping) by players?

In Borean Tundra, those PITA types don’t like you killing animals. If you kill an animal, you get covered in blood until you enter water to wash it off. If they see you while you’re covered in animal blood, boom. They go after you.

This shows there is a mechanism in game for detecting whether someone has fulfilled a condition, and is or is not open for attack by computer controlled NPCs. Additionally, there is a built-in marking function that can be tied to the condition, so players can see it as well. It can even be set so the condition is not set by duration, but can be persistant until logout, or by fulfilling some specific condition… like being killed, or entering a water area.

Taking an example from the distant past, if you merely walk on certain areas, even in a PvE server, you get flagged instantly for PvP whether you like it or not, and that makes you wide open to attack by the opposite faction. 

This means there is a mechanism in place for recognizing behavior, such as traveling in a zone, and becoming flagged for player PvP against your will.

So… is it possible to tie, say… typed chat into the triggering mechanism?

Can you, perhaps, have the chat system recognise spammed/repeated sentences or comments from a player, or frequency of comment from a player, and if someone spams Trade chat, say, with a repeated statement or with a big macro or saying, then they immediately get a big Skull placed over their head, and flagged for same-faction/any faction wide open PvP gankage?

Oh please… please, let it be so.

I know it’s too much to ask to be able to destroy a same-faction loot ninja on sight… but if someone that ports into Dalaran and starts to spam Trade were flagged and marked with a nice shiny Skull over their head, maybe for as long as 5 minutes, and could be killed by ANYONE… oh, what fun.

Do a /who, see what city they’re in, and then go hunting.

“There he is! The little bastard is hiding in the Dal sewers near the Poison seller! Get him, guys!”

[Boot to the head!]

/sigh

And while I’m wishing, I’d like a pony, please.

Comments 14 Comments »

We did a nice, relaxing Ulduar run last night and had some fun. Well, we did after this weird bug that keep causing us to drop the entire raid group in the instance stopped happening. Few things are as jarring as suddenly, in mid-discussion, having everyone drop out of the raid group and get told you’re headed for the nearest graveyard.

Anyway, we did the first four, followed by Kologarn and Crazy Cat Lady.

Quite a lot of loot dropped, most of it unwanted.

Thank you, Heroic ToC, for making a lot of Ulduar 10 redundant. :)

Along the way, my Hunter picked up a few new toys.

Rifle of the Platinum Guard and Mimiron’s Repeater.

No, nobody else wanted them. And I certainly didn’t need what are arguably tanky weapons, since I’ve already got the True-aim Long Rifle.

Now, I’d like you to take a look at these two beauties.

newriflesfromulduar

Granted, they may not have the best stats, but damn, they look cool!

There is only one thing that comes to mind, when I see those two beauties.

In the words of Emilio Estevez in Young Guns;

“Regulators…. mount up!”

Which brings me to my next point.

Blizzard, you rocked our world when you made a change in Wrath in the Talent Trees. Perhaps over time, you’ve reduced the effectiveness of the Talent to balance it. But the fact remains, it’s cooler than watermelon pie.

You gave Fury Warriors Titan’s Grip in the Fury tree, and let them dual wield Two Handed Weapons.

This is my Call to Arms… give Marksman Hunters a new top end Talent that lets them dual wield Guns!

And call it…

“Two Gun Mojo”

Just for me? Please?

Comments 13 Comments »

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