Omigawd! App drama ftw!11!!!

Edit for those that haven’t read comments recently… there are big updates below in the comments. Don’t pass them up, I still can’t believe it. OMFG!!! 

I apologise for the horrible post title.

But it seems so very, very appropriate.

I posted my little recap of last night’s gaming, and then went on out into the World… of Warcraft to catch up on news.

Why look! At WoW Insider, my favorite column is up… Guildwatch. Let’s just see what’s up…

Hmm, okay not much happening there…

Oh lookie, there is a mention of a badly done Guild Application by a young mage. Doesn’t sound like much potential for humor, as a former Officer I’ve seen some doozies in my time. Poor grammer is only funny up to a point.

As an aside, haven’t seen that kind of idiocy in Sidhe Devils thankfully, nothing but gold in the apps we’ve gotten. Don’t ask me why, I think no one besides you guys has noticed we started a guild. And the asshats obviously see the ‘we aren’t a progression guild, we won’t gear you for no effort here, we just try and have fun and put Real Life first, no srsly we mean it’ Guild Charter and move on…..

But what the hey. Let’s go check out the application… how bad can it be?

Oh. Oh my.

I’m going to post it here in an effort to preserve it in case of future deletion of that thread.

Vulc 70 mage

1. Tell about yourself. Who are you? Where are you from? How old are you? You are working or attending school? im steven also known as vulc, ima outgoing like to have fun and play wow. very interesd in joining i love to raid and want to get into it alot more. and from what ive seen… ur an amazing guild

2. Tell us about your computer and internet connection. my computer is decdent, have to restart it now in then working on investing a new case and cooling station… my pc overheat’s, connection is very good

3. Tell us about your character. Guild, days played, spec., etc. Specifically…what guild did you come from, why are you leaving, why did they fail, how far did you progress? well i just joined celtic rage, herd about it from a friend, they stunk it up in tk 1st night i was in there. ive got over 110 day’s played and my gear is decent mostly made gear. 1093+ fire dmg

4. When are you available? Can you play during the day? Every night? mostly every night, from 5-11

5. What gear do you currently have/use? What resist gear do you have? Armory LINK is madatory. … orn&n=Vulc

6. Why do you want to join Paranoid? How did you hear about us? im pretty good friends with lof :P and i wana get geard before i go into litch king. i like to be around people that are good and serous at end game i was back in the day.. not the best but 8/8 t1 3/8 t2

7. How much gold do you have? How about consumables? not much trying to pay for a new trinket ( alchamist stone).

8. Do you understand what DKP is and how it works? Yes depending on the guild

9. Are you willing to abide by our rules, at all times, if we accept you? Yes i will

10. What do you consider YOUR role to be in the endgame? To dps as hard as i can and help the guild kill bosses. and progress as much as i can

Okay. Okay, that’s pretty funny. Why? What do you mean, why do I think that’s funny?

Well, okay, let me break it down just a bit. No big analysis, I mean this guy would never in a million years be considered for Sidhe Devils, call me an elitist prick all you want, that’s just the way it is. But I’ll go over what I think are the high points.

It is clear to me from his spelling and phrasing that he gave no thought whatsoever towards making a good impression with the people he is asking to join. The key phrase there is no thought. Do I want a thoughtless person, someone that does not even for a second remotely consider the point of view of other players, their opinions or thoughts or concerns, in my guild? Hell no. This guy is what you get if you are desperate for more bodies to fill a 25 man raid… and even then, I think 25 mans deserve much better than this. Let me change that to a 40 man. If you were desperate to fill an old-school 40 man, this was your guy. You know he’s only there for the loot, but while he’s there at least you’re getting some DPS in the raid.

Now, I could mention his line about “wanting to get geared before WotLK comes out” for why he wants to join, but hey, I’ll give him points for being honest about wanting to join a progression guild for phat lootz. That’s what he wants, that’s why he’s applying. Give him the phat lootz, and no one gets hurt.

I also have to give him points for saying, even inadvertantly, that his computer is decadent. I know it was a typo on his part, and he meant decent… but I now want a decadent computer. Somehow, I don’t think you get those at Dell.

He loses a lot of points for answering the question about gold and consumables, a question I see as being on the app form as a way to find out of a raider is willing to provide his own raid mats and consumables, by answering ‘not much’ and talking about the crafted alchemy trinket he is trying to save up mats for.

Let’s be serious… The guy claims to have a 70 mage and plays 6 hours a night, EVERY night. He says he’s broke.

I know a lot of people, through their choice of Professions, have a hard time making gold in the game. Our friends at WoWJones even have a blog because of the interest. But the guy is an Alchemist. Gee, do I know any other Alchemists at level 70? Lemme think about that one for a second….

Cassieann plays her main and several alts, on an intermittant schedule, and thanks to her effort and her Alchemy Profession she has bought her own Epic Flying Skill, Windstar’s Epic Flying Skill, she made within days of getting the rep both her Alchemist Stone and the Assassin’s Alchemist Stone, and even then provides ME with raid mats half the time and has, in her words, already saved up enough gold to by my fricken Priest HER Epic Flying Skill. Broke my ass. Hey, punk, if you are playing 6 hours a night five nights a week, go do some dailies and actually make some pots to put on the AH. Maybe farm primals and make some Primal Mights on your Transmute. In three days you can have your trinket. Lazy bum.

Still, we’re nit picking here. From what I’ve pointed out alone, the app is not too bad. But the cream, the uber goodness that shines out, is this little snippet…

well i just joined celtic rage, herd about it from a friend, they stunk it up in tk 1st night i was in there.

Wait, wait, wait a minute!

So, you are applying to join a progression guild, and you are telling me you JUST joined another guild that actually took your ass into Tempest Keep, and you are taking the time in your application to bad mouth THEM instead of telling me specifically about YOU.

Epic Fail.

Now, yeah, it’s a train wreck of an application. If this is your application… well, I’m sorry, but you’re only 16. You WILL get older. Hopefully, you will also grow in maturity. I guarantee, this can either be a learning experience for you, or another way to feel like a victim. At this point in the reading, I am thinking, “He sounds like a typical self-entitled asshat. But the poor kid is right at that age, he might be a good kid at heart and has absolutely no idea how this comes across. I’m glad I’m not that age anymore. Damn I was stupid at that age. Wow, am I still that stupid? Naaahh… Cassie woulda killed me by now.”

Oh…. but wait. It gets better. I read further down the application, to read some replies… and come to a reply made by Hickyfat, apparently the guild leader of Celtic Rage, who surprisingly enough had a little something to say about how Vulc characterized the Tempest Keep run…

Whats up guys,
Vulc recently joined Celtic Rage and has recently been removed. He did attend TK with us on our first night there and yes, we definitely did not do as well as we could have done. However, in the few raids he did make it to his DPS was less than impressive (Mages with less “stats” and gear were able to out dps him somehow). After seeing his performance, I offered up some suggestions. 1) Regem your green gems and get rid of that, dare i say, +8 resilience gem. His response – I don’t want to spend money for better gems when I am going to upgrade my gear soon (not what I was looking to hear). 2) Switch specs and try one deep in fire (10/48/3) was the one I suggested. His response – I’ve played a mage for two years and I’m not gonna take advice from a warrior. While it’s true I don’t play a mage or even another class other than a warrior tank, I do read about other classes and what is most “raid viable.” I don’t need to play a mage to know that a resilience gem has no business in any gem slot. As a raid leader I want to make sure that all 25 people are pumping out as much tps, dps, and hps as possible and if they are not doing so, try to help. Vulc was not open to change to help the raid and acted like a pompous tithead. Hence – hickyfat had to drop the hickyboot. Peace fellas – Good luck w/ Felmyst. Any questions hit me up in game.

BOOM! Solid Win. That, right there, tells me as an officer everything I really wanted to know. Do I have to explain how many ways Hickyfat just laid to rest any thought I might have had about taking this mage into my guild? Even if it wasn’t about progression, the close-mindedness alone… no, I didn’t think so.

But wait! Let’s not be too hasty! This might just be some self-serving character assassination by Hickyfat, right? Just because the guy says something, doesn’t make it so. Screenshot or it didn’t happen, right guys?

Well… let’s take a look and see how Vulc responded to Hickyfats’ allegations of prior conduct.

Warning: The following is NOT safe for gentle eyes that dislike profanity. I found it hilarious, however.

Vulc said;

yo kno hicky im not the a pompas fucking prick who picks ona mage whos is doing #2 dps in ur raid and is 16 go get a mothetfucking life u prick and also if ur guna fuck around with my game play ur guna have a fucking suprize waiting around the corner u prick

mmmMMMMmmm…. now that is just great, isn’t it? All worry I had that I was being a little harsh in my analysis of his application are simply blown clean away.

Oh, and I have to say… I love the implication there at the end that Hickyfat is gonna find a surprise waiting for him ‘just around the corner’ so to speak. Wait, is Vulc going to lie in wait and ambush poor Hickyfat? Oh noooeeesssss!!!!!11!

There are 7 more pages of this, and I don’t even know if I want to read any further. The drama is so perfect right now, and reading further may spoil it.

But just…. wow. WOW.

God, I love Guildwatch.


Okay, I read further… it doesn’t dissappoint. I will add one new quote, from another memeber of Celtic Rage, who sound like good guys, actually. This noe really does say it all…

Oh… Couldn’t resist the opportunity to throw my 2 cp’s here… Yes, Vulc’s unwillingness to take constructive criticism after 3 days in the guild was a concern for us and he was on the ‘keep an eye on’ list… But just to let anyone who’s thinking of inviting this gem of a mage know…

As we entered TK for the first time his question: “Uh, what are the other mages in here wearing? I’m pretty undergeared, are they going to be able to roll on stuff before me when it would be a bigger upgrade for me?” Sent alarm bells crashing through my head.

Ultimately the clincher for his short-lived membership in Celtic Rage was the hissy fit he threw in guild chat last night because he’d “been in the guild for 3 WHOLE DAYS” and hadn’t been able to raid. Which would make his second hissy fit (in 3 WHOLE DAYS, mind you) the first was when he was not invited to join us in SSC as he was not yet geared and spec’d for the instance (first night in the dungeon, our first kill on Lurker – not your level I know, but we felt good about it :D ).

tl;dr: We don’t have green chat drama in CR. We weren’t interested in him spewing his indignant, mis-informed crap whenever he didn’t get his way.

As to second on the meter… *cough*bullshit*cough*

Not that Paranoid’s seasoned recruiting team couldn’t see his 10 spell hit for what he is…

Quote of the day:
Deloessian: I’m looking at your armory. I’m seeing a number of glaring problems, and I’m a rogue…
Deloessian: Your spell hit is at 10? What’s the mage hit cap Vulc?
Vulc: My what?
Deloessian: The hit cap… Rogue hit cap is 363 with precision… What’s the mage hit cap?
Vulc: Hit doesn’t matter, I’ve got good crit.
Deloessian: …


61 thoughts on “Omigawd! App drama ftw!11!!!

  1. Wow, truly epic. followed it back to the original thread…’t like a train wreck you just can’t look away from 😛


  2. mmmm…. guy’s totally ignorant. The fact that he won’t take helpful criticism makes things even worse.

    But expecting to raid every night, making yourself look like a horrible applicant, and worst of all, not even knowing the particulars of your class?

    Damn. This guy really takes the cake.


  3. Poor kid. Hopefully he pulls his head out of his ass before he crosses the wrong person with that attitude in real life… but if he doesn’t I’m sure it would be fun to watch.

    Guild applications are (not surprisingly) similar to job and college applications. Applicants who can’t take the time to use capitalization, proper grammar, or proper spelling should be put in the “do not want” pile immediately. 99 times out of 100 the person looking at the application will have made the correct choice.


  4. /fasepalm
    oh my…
    I’m just glad my guild is still in small enough not to attract people like this person. I’d have to constantly duel him and beat him down every opportunity I’d get just to let him know where he stands in the world…

    of warcraft.


  5. Looks like the guy has name-changed or deleted. I imagine he was starting to get abuse in game as well as on forums. Thanks for this laugh 🙂


  6. This is my first foray into PvE themed blogging and I have to say it did not disappoint. The spell hit cap comments in particular made me giggle.


  7. Spell hit doesn’t matter! I have great spell penetration! =)

    P.S. What’s spell crit? And is it wrong that I’m wearing all “of stamina” greens? Sure, I have only +100 spell damage, but I’m rockin’ 21k hps! =)



  8. Sounds like he might be an immature pre-teen, self-centered, and not really understanding the adult world or the WOW world very well. It would be great if the WOW community had ways to educate this kind of person rather than completely slam them down, but certainly not easy…


  9. Thank you so much for posting this together with your excellent analysis. I haven’t laughed so hard in quite a while.


  10. Sadly, I have seen grown adults behave in much the same way as this kid in game.

    You quickly get to the point of knowing, even after only seeing a few answers to some simple questions, just how a player is likely to act in several situations. What their motivations are, what they expect. This guy, he wants teh lootz, and he will be upset if anyone else gets any item that he wants, even if it is a sidegrade or potentially better for another class. He will be upset if you wipe. (Um, your first EVER time in TK as a group? You likely will wipe on trash. At LEAST once. And you will wipe a lot on bosses as you learn them.) He will get upset if he doesn’t get a raid invite, even if he is undergeared for the instance, even if there are long-time well-geared members available and it is his first day in the guild. He will be upset if he doesn’t top the meters, and might even post his own, inaccurate, meters to try to dispute that. Or cry about his crummy computer, or the fact that YOU won that caster dagger that OBVIOUSLY he needed more so his damage would be better. He will expect the guild to help him with consumables and any mats he needs for anything he wants to craft for himself, and will likely never offer any help himself.

    And learning is good, because once you know all of this? You don’t invite people like this to your guild anymore, even when the application isn’t quite as glaringly bad as this one. Because even if everything you do is fair to everyone, they will cause drama.


  11. OH HELL!

    Looking for 2 more minutes at JesusFreaks’ roster… looks like he made his name change while still in JesusFreaks. 36 members on JesusFreaks entire roster leaves few to sort through, Vulc last seen on April 28th, only 70 gnome mage in guild at that time.

    Except for one other gnome mage level 70, named Hãtred, last seen on April 29th… and if you look at Hãtred’s history, he was NEVER SEEN BEFORE April 29th…

    I think we have a winner! Vulc got so pissed he became pure Hãtred!

    I love this game. I seriously, truly love this game.


  12. Lets use some logic here:
    Premise: Every group needs a tank.
    Premise: Tanks will only run Heroic Mr. T for Commendation (there isn’t any other gear there for them).
    Premise: No group that is able to clear through heroic Mr. T is dumb enough to give that item to anyone other than a tank.
    Therefore: Every tank running Mr. T is running it for Commendation, and there is always a tank there.
    Fact: A mage has the commendation.
    Conclusion: Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnjjjjjjjjjjjjaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


  13. No no no no no!

    I never, ever said that this second Mage, Vulc/Hãtred, is a ninja.

    There is no evidence whatsoever that he ran Magister’s and ninja’ed that trinket.

    That the guild he is in now, and the guilds he has been in according to Warcraft Realms, implies that the only way he could have cleared MgT is in a PuG, seems clear.

    However, in looking at his equipped gear, it seems primarily to be a PvP oriented gear set. As such, and as he has that +8 Resilience gem equipped that was mentioned in comments about his raiding equipment, I tend to think that this is the gear he raids with.

    And if he puts PvP gear first, and raid viability second, then I can totally see him saying up front that he wanted the trinket for PvP.

    Maybe he went on a pug and the tank already had it? It could happen.

    I’d say odds are good that he did in fact roll /need on it… but there is totally no evidence whatsoever that he did.

    BUT… it is an asshat mage with an equipped Commendation of Kael’thas.

    And I still don’t have one.

    THAT is reason enough for me to /cry.


  14. It would be easy to jump on the lolz bandwagon here, but something keeps echoing in my head. The kid is just sixteen. I wouldn’t expect much better behavior from him than what he is displaying. Maybe it is the father in me that is reacting here and trying to defend him to some extent. I have kids, a seventeen yo among them. I know of the pettiness and selfishness firsthand. I’ve seen some of my own son’s postings on myspace and they look like gibberish, but oddly enough his friends understand what he is saying…god that makes me old.

    I guess what I’m trying to say here is don’t condone his behavior, but understand it. I know in-game such behavior would probably drive me momentarily nuts. It is one of the reasons I prefered to join a more mature, adult guild. I’m not there to take care of someone else’s damn kids. And not surprisingly that is precisely how players such as him are acting…like kids. He is still being taken care of in RL and doesn’t expect any different in game.


  15. I personally like the multiple person/alities that posted. nothin like the my account was haxx0red line to gain confidence in a candidate.


  16. Oh, and the history of guild hopping isn’t working in his favor, either. FIFTEEN guilds in nine months. Oh, wait, fourteen. One was stupid enough to let him back in.


  17. oh my, this Vulc/Hãtred business is cracking me up. Thank you for delving into the comments, because after I saw it on WoWInsider, I laughed too hard at the application to go much further.
    And look at this! He’s in my battlegroup, too, and I’m Horde. I do believe I am going gnome hunting in AV.


  18. “Ratshag says:
    April 30th, 2008 at 11:06 am
    Applications like this tempt me to have Galertruby apply to some raiding guilds…”

    OMG! You SO should do that. I would LOVE to see the responses from people if you posted in all “yarglh” speak!


  19. Ratshag Says:

    “Applications like this tempt me to have Galertruby apply to some raiding guilds…”

    I’d love to see a Galertruby application… It would probably make more sense than some other ones I’ve seen!

    Bear – this cracked me up. Thanks for the laugh. I may just have to read more Guildwatch, but only if I have popcorn!


  20. “It would be easy to jump on the lolz bandwagon here, but something keeps echoing in my head. The kid is just sixteen. I wouldn’t expect much better behavior from him than what he is displaying. Maybe it is the father in me that is reacting here and trying to defend him to some extent. I have kids, a seventeen yo among them. I know of the pettiness and selfishness firsthand. I’ve seen some of my own son’s postings on myspace and they look like gibberish, but oddly enough his friends understand what he is saying…god that makes me old.”

    It doesn’t change the fact he’s incredibly immature, selfish, and ignorant.

    I’ve been playing games online since I was 10-11 and while I may not have said the right things all the time I never was a greedy moron like he is.


  21. Hey BBB,

    Thanks for the mention of our blog. I started a new position at work today and boy was I busy. Anyway, OneAmongMany pointed it out that you linked us and we are forever grateful.

    PS> In my new position, I have full, unrestricted internet access so I can once again blog about making money. Thanks again.

    (I know I have hounded you for linkage. LOL)


  22. “The kid is just sixteen. I wouldn’t expect much better behavior from him than what he is displaying.”

    Maybe I’m just old fashioned, but I’d have expected much better. Personally I expect people to have grown out of this kind of behavior around the age of 12. I dunno about anyone else here, but where I live, sixteen is old enough to drive and consume alcohol. (Obviously not at the same time.) I can’t imagine this kid handling the responsibility of a vehicle all that well.

    “I’ve seen some of my own son’s postings on myspace and they look like gibberish, but oddly enough his friends understand what he is saying…”

    Strangely enough, my younger sister reads and writes fluent net-speak. Not quite 4 years difference between us, and while I can generally wrestle some meaning out of the various abbreviations for myself, I think it makes the people who type it look stupid and lazy. I’d never have dared abuse my native language like that back when I had to write everything by hand. To do so nowadays in this age of computers and built-in spell-check? Is it that important to save yourself a half-dozen keystrokes? Seriously, how hard is it to type complete words and sentences with something approximating proper grammar? But no, instead I’m bombarded daily with gibberish like:

    ‘ne1 no were mankirkz wif plz?’

    You want real irony? I’m dyslexic.


  23. It is a shame that this kid has reacted somewhat like a cornered snake to the criticism he has copped – instead of looking back at it and reflecting, he has lashed out at whoever is closest in a completely instinctive way. I guess I feel sorry for him (I am not old enough to have kids myself, but am just about to finish my degree and work as a high school teacher) because some 16 year olds are this immature, and at that age especially criticism is hard to take. I am hoping that he will look back, maybe in a few weeks, and realise what a total ass he has been about the whole situation. Unfortunately, I doubt that he will, he seems to have what I now call ‘Corey-ism’ (for those of you who don’t know, look up Corey Delaney/Worthington in Google News :D).

    As for the gear – belurgh. I so hate people that feel they can raid in PvP gear (no looking at Sar’s bracers here 😛 Yes yes, I know they are PvP!). PvP gear lacks the most fundamental of stats – hit! Oh, wait a minute… who needs hit when you have crit! 😛


  24. I have to agree with Ellis’ points.

    People in this game shouldn’t be judged by their age. I know adults that are a whole lot less mature than some younger players. I’d like to throw in here that I am 15, yet most people don’t notice, as I don’t act like a stereotypical person of my age. At the same time I’ve seen 30 year olds complain immaturely and have horrible grammar much like the person in this article. I’m not expecting perfect spelling, capitalization and punctuation, but one or two more letters that make sense wouldn’t hurt.

    I guess I feel strongly about this because I myself am younger than the person in this article, yet I certainly would not act in the same manner.

    Didn’t mean to make such a big comment on this, as I did actually enjoy the read. 😛


  25. Quote of the day:
    Deloessian: I’m looking at your armory. I’m seeing a number of glaring problems, and I’m a rogue…
    Deloessian: Your spell hit is at 10? What’s the mage hit cap Vulc?
    Vulc: My what?
    Deloessian: The hit cap… Rogue hit cap is 363 with precision… What’s the mage hit cap?
    Vulc: Hit doesn’t matter, I’ve got good crit.
    Deloessian: …

    Wow… makes me wonder sometimes how people even get to level 70 without knowing some of the simple things about their own class.

    This was a good read though. You brought a smile to my face 🙂 thanks!


  26. roflamo.

    epic fail indeed BBB.

    thanks for brightening up my miserable morning.

    i’ve seen a few of those type of apps back in my raiding days.


  27. Looks like he’s running scared – the armory is showing him naked… I guess the torrent of of (well deserved imo) scorn has caught up with him…


  28. You know, you might wonder at my selection criteria… what makes me feel an all out mocking is acceptible?

    Well, there are plenty of drama threads and stupid events I see in the WoW community… and I give them a pass.

    BUT, you bring the hate to the party first, and all bets are off.

    When I read the app, I chuckled, and I shook my head in sorrow, but the thought never occured to me to actually call the guy out.

    Not until I scrolled down the front page to see the hate he spewed at Hickyfat.

    See? You want the limelight on this blog, just bring the hate, and I’ll be happy to share you with the world.

    Because someone at JesusFreaks decided to invite Vulc into their guild… and I don’t want the people who read this blog to be that Guild Leader who invites something like that into their group of friends without a clue what they’re getting into.


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