Nobody has said so, but I’d like to own up to it right up front.
I DO have an attitude in the game.
There, I said it. And it’s totally true.
I have set an expectation, in my mind, for other people to live up to.
And that expectation is, to my mind, very simple.
I expect people to behave in the game as they would in person. I expect people to be polite and considerate of others.
Someone doesn’t have to ninja loot to get on my mental shit list, my friends.
They just have to act without consideration for someone else’s feelings, or be rude or selfish.
Now, maybe a lot of these folks that rub me the wrong way really act like that in person. Maybe if you bumped into Asdjutdx in the Food Court of your local mall, and your clothes weren’t up to his sartorial standards, he’d tell you that your shoes suck, and that you’re a loser, right to your face.
But the amazing thing is, I have been out in public now, walking around in all sorts of public places, for over 40 years… and I have yet to ever have anyone act to my face the way they do in the game, and then pretend like it is accepted, normal behavior.
Amazing, huh? All these rude people in the game, just being themselves, right? It’s acceptable behavior, right? No big deal?
But I’m walking around in the real world, and where are they? C’mon, if that’s how they act all the time, if that’s acceptable behavior, I should have run into ONE of them by now.
But no! Not even in Gamestop or the comic shop!
Where the hell are they? Shut-ins living in mommie’s basement?
Maybe schools have changed and kids really do act like this to strangers, but that’s NOT how I grew up.
Kids did NOT act like this in my High School. Not with the same sense of wild abandon.
I went to school in downtown Miami, where we had metal detectors and drug sniffing dogs and shooting-related deaths years before Columbine. Violence in schools didn’t just start 5 or 6 years ago, my friends, despite what the media portrays in the States. It’s horrible, but it was a fact of my life growing up, and I daresay most kids who are now my age dealt with it in one way or another. Miami was just one city in a really big country, and those were interesting times to be alive.
If you got into the same level of rudeness in my school that you see in game… and, sure, it happened… the knives came out not long after. You got a lot of shouting and pushing matches, but they were pretty controlled, there were usually ways you could make sure everyone could walk away with respect. If you backed someone into a corner where they had to put up or lose face, well, you knew that you’d better keep a grip or be prepared for the next step. And the next step was pretty damn ugly.
The point being, people ran their mouth in person just like in the game… but they knew damn well what the consequences were going to be. Some of them did it just for an excuse to start shit, but what they were starting wasn’t a flame war via email. And they didn’t pretend it was appropriate behavior. Everyone knew damn well what was going on. Nobody said, “Wait, wut, lol?”
Now, unless things have just totally flipped on their ear since I was in High School, people who act that way in game know exactly how to control themselves in public, because they know if they act the fool in the Food Court they’re gonna get the shit beat out of them by someone that is totally lacking a sense of humor, and is having a bad day.
So that’s the standard I have set in game in all my personal interactions. That people act in the game with the same level of courtesy, consideration, and politeness that they already know is appropriate in the real world.
If the people I meet in game do not live up to that standard… I think of them exactly as I would if they acted like that IN MY FACE.
In other words, as people that aren’t worth a second of my time. People I wouldn’t want to spend ANY time with, now or in the future, in or out of the game. People that, if I someday were to meet them in the real world, would get told the same as I write here… stop acting like a dick and grow up, nobody is impressed.
If you look over things I’ve said about behavior in the past that pisses me off, especially things that probably don’t seem worth mentioning or thinking twice about, that’s where it comes from.
Pure and simple, if you say it in game, but you’d never in a million years say it in public to someone’s face where they could get their hands on you?
Yeah, grow up.
One of the main reasons I left raiding guilds, about equal to the time demands of consistent raiding, is that in those guilds I have been a part of in the past, there have always been people like that. People that are asshats to other folks, and who are not only tolerated but coddled because they are a necessary class or a reliably present player for raids and progression. Or, God forbid, an officer.
Life’s just too damn short for that, man.
Yes, I’ve got an attitude. I am fully aware of it. And I consider it to be a personal character flaw for me to be so judgmental. I really do.
But on the other hand… I have my standards for what I think is appropriate behavior. My minimum standard is that you treat other people just like you’d like to be treated.
And I try very hard to only associate with other people that are the same way.
I will end this mini-rant/explanation with a pretty nice conversation I had with a stranger Cassie and I met in Nagrand.
We were leveling my Shaman and her Paladin in Outlands. I was 65 or so, she was the same. We were leveling on our own, but once we had a zone’s worth of group quests built up, we brought our mains over to clear them out. She had skipped Zanagarmarsh to do Terokkar, and I’d gone the other way. We are both in Northrend on these alts now, she dinged 70 yesterday and I dinged 69.
However, at the time we were in Nagrand, and we both had the Ring of Blood quests available to do.
I told Cassie to get to Ring of Blood, I got my alt there too, and then I logged out and got my Druid to run her through.
There was a group there already, a bunch of appropriately leveled characters and a level 80 healing paladin from Green Dragonflight.
They were just hanging out, so I grouped with Cassie, she started the first fight, I went in and we cleared it together. One after another, we burnt through the fights, my Druid and Cassie’s Paladin.
With Cassie cleared, we swapped. I brought my Shaman onboard, she brought her Rogue.
So here are these two Sidhe Devils at Ring of Blood that blasted through it, and they disappear, and moments later, here are two other Sidhe Devils… I wonder what they plan on doing?
Well, I got a whisper from one of the guys that had been waiting, a player named Korso. He asked if we were going to run it again, and if so could he join us? They were waiting for the healer to return, but had no idea where he went.
I said sure, of course. And invited him to group.
I asked the guy what stage of the quest he was on, so we didn’t get out of sync. You KNOW what a pain that can be, when one person starts the fight before the other is done turning in. Then stuff has to get done twice, it’s a mess.
Well, this guy is just… a nice guy. He is patient, he actually types complete sentences, after every fight he rushes back to the quest giver… then STOPS, and types out “okay, ready to go” and WAITS for me to start the next phase.
How rare is that shit? I know!
So we blast through Ring of Blood with Cassie tanking it on her Rogue, and with Korso helping out. It was fun.
Afterwards, I thanked him for not only being a good player, but for being so on top of things, it was just refreshing, especially after so many other pugs lately.He says, sure, anytime, and then I see him /say to the others that had been standing around, ‘Sure invite me to your group again, I’ll still help you guys finish it.”
So the other group came back fro afk and saw he’d done it already… and he said he’d stay and help them finish. He didn’t bail on them. I love seeing that kind of thing, and I noticed and remembered it. “Note to self, Korso is a nice guy.”
What, you folks think I only take note of asshats? Oh heck no, I have a nice person list too!
We wave and take off… and Cassie Rogue Evasion-tanks Durn the Hungerer with me as heals.
Yeah, that’s right. Cassie took down Durn. She’s a badass.
Anyway, so lately we’ve had a lot of folks playing their alts just like us, right in the “Welcome to frosty Northrend” level range. Probably as many as 10 of us are all at 68 – 72 on various characters, scattered between Borean and Howling Fjord.
Yesterday, I get a whisper out of the blue. It’s from Korso, who I see is now also in Northrend. I think it speaks for itself.
I’m not unique or crazy, and my expectations are not over the top or unrealistic. Because there’s an entire guild of folks with the same values as me right here, and I bet there are plenty of other guilds just like us on every server there is.
It’s amazing how much fun you can have when you decide you are only going to play with people that all feel the same way.
You don’t HAVE to put up with asshats just to have fun in a video game.