Okay, so first the Governor of South Carolina is all over the news in what has to be the most publicized case of epic fail I’ve ever seen. And yes, even above the Governor of Illinois. Or is that former Gov of Illinois? So many scandals, so little time.
Anyway, the media is all over this flaming jackass and his pile of epic fail, and bravo to them I say.
Man, I love seeing it shoved up his ass. Sideways. I forgive the media on this one. Go get ’em.
But wait, there’s more!
Farrah Fawcett is dead. Farrah Fawcett-Majors, for us oldtimers.
She’ll always be Buck Roger’s ex-wife to me.
And this is on the heels of the legendary Ed McMahon’s death, so we’re reeling in the media… what drama to cover? We’re only given so much time to mourn before the news is stale, so who to cover?
Before we even get a chance to absorb this, BOOM!
Mr. Michael Jackson is dead…
I could make a rude comment, but quite frankly he is beloved by many people, and all I’ll ever know about him is what the media has said, so who the heck am I to know what’s been up with him?
With all of this, you’d think the media has a lot to discuss.
“But wait!” I hear you cry, “This is all tabloid bullshit, what about the very real, very intense struggle going on in Iran at this very moment, as a people who believe in the freedom of a democratic vote protest in the streets against what they feel is an unjust election… and they are being beaten and killed in the streets, every effort made to stop their protests, to silence them, to shut them down, and to close off all forms of communication in and out of the country so that the world may never know.”
“What about all of that?!?!”
“Isn’t that possibly enough for the media to talk about for one freaking day?”
Oh how I wish it was, but no.
Because everywhere you turn, there is one other topic that somehow is under discussion.
Jon and f’ing Kate plus Eight.
O. M. G.
I can’t deal with it. He’s a sack of shit. His only job was to be a dad. That’s it. His career was to be a good, loving father to eight children, and a supportive and loving husband.
The quotes roll out, the drama rolls out, and I can’t deal with it. I’ve turned off every possible news agency I know to block out any more of this.
I’ve got my fingers stuck in my virtual ears. Somebody whisper me when this shitstorm of mediocrity and selfishness and worthless crap is OVER!
Tell me when the flaming bus runs over those two pricks, the kids get placed in kind and loving foster homes (Hey, I can dream… and the clouds in my dream are pink and fluffy, too.)
Just tell me when they are gone. When the world has moved on. And the words Jon and Kate plus 8 are no longer uttered.
Until that time, as I sing “lalalalala” to myself to shut out the madness, I shall respond in the only way I know how.
MUSIC MIX MADNESS!!!!!
It is now time for me to fix a mix to restore equilibrium.
And I’m dragging you poor bastards (and fine ladies) along for the ride.
First, to mellow out. To try and prepare. Gotta get in the right mindset to flip a halfhearted finger at the world.
Thank you very much. Swap “Prozac” with “Beer”, and that’s about right.
Now, to my friends amongst the US Marines, the next singer should be quite familiar to you. If you don’t know “Goodnight Saigon”, then shame on you.
But that’s not this song. Oh no, to get this twisted party going, we gotta have something a little more appropriate.
Okay, that’s a good start.
Yes, yes I’ll include Goodnight Saigon. This is my party, and while it’s wildly inappropriate to put it here, what the heck.
Did you think I wouldn’t?
Okay, that’s pretty awesome. I can almost feel the stupidity draining away.
Now to take it towards a faster edge… let’s go with some Blue Oyster Cult. Moar cowbell, damnit!
Da, is nice.
Wow, that does wonders for my equilibrium.
I am da Bear. I must have something at a right angle to normal reality to remind myself where I live… on the edge of “What the hell was that?!?!”
I gots just da thing…
Ah yes…. okay, just about there…
Now to bring it on home… a capper of a song that always helps to relax me, a great song to sit back, pop a beer to, and tune out the rest of the world as you drift in fond memories of times both good and bad…
A nice little song that may mean something entirely different for someone else, but for me reminds me that what goes around, comes around, shit happens, and karma can be a stone bitch.
Ahhh…. peace out.