Will this post share anything new?
Anything thou hast not already heard?
Still, this stuff amazes the heck out of me, I mean, aren’t we all a little past this crap by now?
Apparently not. And that’s why I am continuously amazed.
You know those bumper stickers, the ones that say “Mean people suck”, that we found witty a decade ago?
Yeah, they’re a cliche because it’s true, and because saying it does nothing… the mean people don’t seem to grasp the idea that, hey… we’re talking about you, asshole. Yeah, you. Omigod, no, not the person behind you, YOU!
Stop looking stupid, you know we’re talking about you. You were a dick, and you were busted on it. Play it off all you want, you’re still a dick. You know it, and we all certainly know it. And at the end of the day, it’s just a video game for the rest of us, and we log off and return to our happy lives, and you’re still a dick.
Shall I share yet another tale of asshattedness in the trenches of a pug?
Well, heck, I’m just back from vacation, why not. I haven’t been cranky in, like, a week.
It’s a record.
So, only a few logged in for the guild, and in an instance. So, I’m in the mood to run something, and why not join a pug?
Why not, right? My friends and fellow players have commented in the blog quite often that I and I alone am unlucky enough to have bad pug groups, others never see that kind of thing. Maybe this time, things will be different.
Hope springs eternal, and all that.
I put myself in LFG as a healer, and almost immediately I am invited to a group, and the group leader, a DK named Bigdk says, in broken WoWglish, “ill tanks want to start a H ToC”.
Actually, not so bad as far as WoWglish goes. An actual sentence. This, this has possibilities. I will overlook, as much as possible, the fact that Bigdk could be short for “big dick”. It’s probably my imagination. It’s really just short for “Big Death Knight”, and the other possible connotation is simply a coincidence.
Unfortunately, that right there is what we in the writing biz call “foreshadowing”.
He forms up a group of other folks to DPS very quickly. No questions, no pauses, just BAM! there’s a group, formed from LFG.
We fly to Icecrown, summon the stragglers, enter the instance, and mount up. No real chit chat, except for Bigdk, who lets us know we’ll run out after champions are down.
Again, everything fast, smooth, minimum conversation. We’re here for business.
We burn down the mounted phase, run out, pop back in and buff up.
The group at this time consists of Bigdk the Death Knight tank, myself on Windshadow for tree heals, a Warlock named Cedeelia, a Death Knight for DPS named Darkskryer, and a Druid playing as Moonkin named Tryxter.
Pretty darn good group, I think. Should be solid.
After we buff up, we line up for the first pull. And then there is a long pause.
And then, without preamble, Bigdk says, “dark whats your dps”
Dark replies “bout 1.8, 1.9 usually.”
Bigdk replies “your half in tank gear”
Dark says, “I know, don’t have a full DPS set. Still allright though, just need a new weapon.”
Cedeelia asks, “Are we ready?”
Dark says, “Ready.”
And then Bigdk whispers me, saying “boot and replace now or ?”
And I just stare at the screen like I’ve lost my freaking mind.
Let me tell you what my immediate response is, so you can then debate whether I went totally over the line or not. I’m cool with whatever your honest opinion is. I’m sure people take these things different ways, I understand.
But I whispered back, and said “Do it and I quit the run and put you on ignore. Does that make my feelings clear enough?”
Yes, that is what I said.
He then responded with “wwth” and “what the hell was that” and “why are you so rude to me”, and repeated the “Why are you being so rude” pretty continuously.
My response was “What you want to do to Dark is one of the most heinous things you can do to a player. You had him do the joust, what people call the hard part, and NOW you’re going to boot him?”
He repeated the “Why are so rude”, and then made me group leader and left the group. No words to the rest of the group at all, just bang, gone.
Seconds later, Tryxter left as well. Either a friend of Bigdk, or simply saw the tank leave and figured he’d have better luck elsewhere.
I explained to the party that Bigdk wanted to boot Dark for only having 1.8k dps, and that I told him I’d quit the run if he did, he didn’t like my attitude, so he left. I asked Cedeelia and Dark if they would be willing to continue on if I got a couple more people to fill out the group.
They both said sure, so I was fortunate enough to get Faydre to bring in his Druid to tank, and Cassie logged in with her Paladin specifically to fill out the group.
A very fast, brutally successful run later, and we parted ways, happy with our new loot.
While getting the party together, Bigdk continued to whisper me. Yes, after he had already left. No, I had not added him to my ignore list. I didn’t see the need. I only do that with spammers, or people that whisper me repeatedly when I’m trying to focus on a raid.
Anyway, he kept whispering me, telling me I’m a dick a few times, an asshole once, and then ordered me to put him on ignore so he wouldn’t have to see me ever again.
Umm… the only reason for him to want me to put him on ignore is if he intended to be one of those guys that sits in Dalaran and spends an afternoon on /2 Trade saying how nobody should run with “soandso”, they’re a ninja, and didn’t want me to know. But whatever, lifes too short.
A very minor, very stupid event. But it just left me totally flabbergasted.
Who the hell invites people to a group, has them do part of an event, and only after they are successful starts doing gear checks and boots people that don’t measure up to his standards?
Hey, if he wanted to be stringent about gear levels and dps, then the time to do that, the only time to do that, was BEFORE we started the run.
Technically, Dark wasn’t saved to the instance. He wouldn’t have been locked out of doing the entire joust in another group all over again. Yay, how considerate.
That’s just bullshit on a level I can barely even come close to comprehending. How do you think doing that to someone is cool, and think someone else telling you they’ll leave your ass in the dust if you try to pull that shit is being rude?
Am I missing something here? We are still people sitting behind these keyboards, right? Other players aren’t like bots or something that you can use like a tissue for what you want, and then toss aside after, are they?
I mean, come on. I can see some asshat doing that to other people because they are afraid they suck as a tank and need to be carried, or something, but then acting like he was absolutely 100% in the right and that I was the one being “rude, a dick, and an asshole” for telling him that if he booted Dark I’d leave too?
I was blunt, I’ll grant you that. I wasn’t ambivalent, I wasn’t wishy-washy or passive or fucking meek. I was in-your-face confrontational when presented with something that struck me as being complete bullshit.
Maybe my approach was what was wrong. Maybe I was supposed to be what folks call “tactful” these days, meaning I should’ve kissed his ass and been all mild and said “No, please let’s not boot him. I’m sure it will be fine, let’s just go ahead with the run.”
See, I could have done that. But that’s not what I was thinking. What I was thinking was, “If you didn’t want to share loot with another plate wearer or death knight, you should’ve thought of that before you invited him and had him do the joust, asshole.”
I’m curious to get your thoughts on this kind of thing. On whether booting someone after doing well in the game and helping the party, but before they are saved is fine, and about whether my response was appropriate, over the top, or what.
Sometimes, I think I’m just losing my grip.
Added thoughts after some dinner;
You know, in hindsight, I did react more strongly to what he said to me than I would’ve normally. I wouldn’t have been quite so ‘all up in his face’ about it in other circumstances. The difference between a normal reaction and how I felt was that, the moment he whispered me, he brought me, personally, into a kind of partnership with him, against my will.
The way it felt to me at the time was that his whispering me in that way said that he assumed I was one of ‘his people’, someone that WOULD do that kind of thing to someone else. Someone that would hold a whispered huddle behind another players’ back like that in mid-run. And that’s what got me. He brought me into his bullshit little world, going behind Dark’s back to decide whether or not to boot him from a run he had already contributed to.
If Bigdk had announced in party chat, after hearing that Dark had 1.8 dps, that he was going to remove Dark from the group at that time because Bigdk thought his dps wasn’t high enough for a heroic, I would NOT have felt as emotionally invested in what had happened. Not even close.
It would not have changed the outcome, though.
I would have said in party chat that if Dark left then I’d take off too, that wouldn’t have changed, since I’m not going to play those kind of BS games. If Bigdk had insisted on kicking him, I would still have tried to revive the group. Emotionally, I wouldn’t have been as upset. I would have felt more like “ah, another elitist dick, whatever” and moved on to working the problem to a solution that resulted in fun for those that, well, had earned it by not being a dick, and probably never have thought twice about it.
It’s kind of funny to me now, that what Bigdk seemed to think was a compliment, that he was including ‘the healer’ in on the decision to boot a member of the DPS behind the back of the rest of the party, was the one exact thing that just sent my blood pressure into the red zone.