He said a naughty word

I was over at my friend Mark’s house yesterday, ostensibly to spend some time visiting his family.

Hah!

The truth is, Mark is a diehard BYU fan, and BYU was playing their dread rivals, Utah, and Mark wanted someone there to share commentary with.

Now, Mark and his family are Mormons, and this means that I am under strict instruction from Cassie on the type of language I am allowed to use.

As in, she beats the unholy crap out of me (pun intended) in advance so that the bruises will help serve to remind me that I am not to swear while visiting the Murphy household.

There we are, all set to watch the BYU vs Utah game, and along come two more families, friends of Mark and football fans themselves, to watch with us.

Me. Surrounded by THREE families of Mormon football fanatics.

And the group is split 50/50 between BYU fans and Utes fans.

I learned a few things from watching this game with my friends.

First, I learned that “butt” is a naughty word. At one point, a BYU receiver fumbled the ball within milliseconds of landing on his posterior, and as Mark (who controlled the DVR remote) fast-forwarded, rewound, slo-moed and accelerated the shot to try and get the perfect angle, they discussed the player landing on his butt before releasing the ball, landing on his butt after releasing the ball, butt, butt, butt.

And then one family member chided another, saying “We don’t say butt, it’s a naughty word.”

Ummm…. that’s part of the name of my website. My website is a naughty word?

“It’s okay, we don’t hold it against you.”

lol!

Second, I learned that diehard football fans only have a game on for an excuse to talk to each other about past games.

Frequently, I would catch something going on during the actual game we were supposedly watching, that no one else caught, because they were too wrapped up in talking about past rivalries. Or coaching mistakes. Or putting signs in each other’s yards proclaiming their love for the enemy team, and other shenanigans. Or the signifcance of BYU wearing the Royal Blue color on their jerseys as an homage to their winning ’84 season, when they’be wearing Navy all this season as a current color.

Third, I found out that there are lots of euphemisms for naughty words.

That ties directly into point the second.

See, here’s the deal. Mark has long shared his pride with me in the BYU football team’s clean, wholesome upbringing and how important moral values are to the players.

That’s excellent. During the game, I noticed one of the players had “God is #1” tatooed on his biceps. I thought that was a nice touch.

That’s all cool, but it leaves you open for a little gentle ribbing if, at some point, someone on the team does a no-no that nobody else on any other team would ever be chastised for.

Case in point.

This was, as I said, a team rivalry. BYU versus the Utes. And it was a great game, it eventually went 20/20 at the end into overtime, and BYU won with a TD in second overtime, all very exciting.

But the game was certainly marked with an amazing amount of personal fouls. Flag on this play, flag on that play, late hits, early hits, face masks, pushing, knee to the groin, it was fabulous.

At one point, I think in the first quarter, there was a solid personal foul that allowed the Utes to get in a third field goal over BYU.

The camera cut over to get a reaction shot of treasured BYU quarterback Max Hall, who is a stellar quarterback for the team this year.

It was a perfect framed shot. The camera cut to a full frontal of Max Hall, just as Max Hall clearly was reacting to the field goal… reading his lips, Max clearly said “Fuck Me”, and then the camera cut away.

I burst out laughing.

Nobody else in the room had caught it, because they weren’t paying attention to the game, they were having fun chatting about past games.

So they asked what was so funny.

I told them that BYU’s star QB just got busted saying a naughty word on national TV.

Mark rewound the film… well, here. I’ll show you.

“What did he say, mommy?”

“He said fahrfignewton, dear. That’s a no-no.”

“Well, at least he didn’t say vaccuum.”

“That’s true.”

Wait, what? Vaccuum?

“Oh, look, in the next clip he’s getting chewed out by a line coach, looks like that’s going to leave a mark.”

“I bet going over the game clips for this one is going to be fun.”

Oh, and can I just say how funny I thought it was that, sure enough, I checked YouTube and somebody DID feel it was necessary to put a clip of Max Hall up? That’s priceless.

Good times, good times. I love my friends.

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Patch 3.2 Bear Gear Starter List (Armor)

The purpose of this gear list is to help those folks that have been asking me what to look for as a new 80, from start to being prepared for Icecrown 5 person instances in Patch 3.3.

This list is to serve as a guide for how I rank items you can acquire from professions, world drops, quests, regular instances, heroic instances, emblems of all kinds, Argent Tournament Crusader Seals and PvP.

No raids are included, not even the commonly pugged ones. I rarely if ever am asked to provide a raiding bear’s list of upgrades. What people ask for from me is a helpful starting ground for when they want to get cracking as a new bear, and don’t really know where to look first.

I hope that you do seek out fun in 10 or 25 person raids, and have a great time. If and when you do, remember to maintain a balance between Stamina and Agility/Dodge Rating for both Health and Dodge, and when your raid item inevitably isn’t on this list, check to see where your pieces would fall based on comparison to others on this list.

Whether you prefer more Stamina rather than Agility, or vice versa, more Hit Rating, more Expertise, more Crit Rating, etc is really dependant on your current gear overall. There is no gear list that can replace your judgment. What this list can do is help point out where some great upgrades in general can be found when you’re first starting out.

This first list covers armor. Every item on this list has an Armor Value that is affected by the Bear Form Multiplier. Thus, higher Armor Value matters a great deal for these items.

Helm

Enchant: Arcanum of the Stalwart Protector Rep vendor: Argent Crusade (Revered)
Meta Gem: Austere Earthsiege Diamond

Relentless Gladiator’s Dragonhide Helm – PvP Reward
Hood of Lethal Intent  – 75 Emblem of Triumph (Non-set item)
Malfurion’s Headguard of Conquest  – 50 Emblem of Triumph and no token from Tier 9 vendor
Furious Gladiator’s Dragonhide Helm  – PvP Reward
Conqueror’s Nightsong Headguard – Token for turn in costs 58 Emblems of Conquest
Mask of Distant Memory  – Drops from The Black Knight in Heroic Trial of the Champion
Deadly Gladiator’s Dragonhide Helm – PvP Reward
Weakness Spectralizers – Engineering crafted BoP 
Titan-Forged Leather Helm of Triumph – 40 Wintergrasp Mark of Honor
Hateful Gladiator’s Dragonhide Helm – PvP Reward
Mask of the Watcher – Drops from Eregos in Heroic Oculus
Savage Gladiator’s Dragonhide Helm – 45 Emblem of Heroism
Shroud of Darkness – Drops from Zuramat the Obliterator in Heroic Violet Hold
Helm of Cheated Fate – Drops from Drakkari Elemental in Heroic Gundrak
Hood of the Furtive Assassin – Drops from Loken in Halls of Lightning
Headguard of Retaliation – Reward from Quest, “Vengeance Be Mine!” in Utgarde Pinnacle
Battlemap Hide Helm – Drops from Prince Keleseth in Heroic Utgarde Keep
Eviscerator’s Facemask – Leatherworking crafted BoE, useable at level 78

Shoulders

Enchant:
Master’s Inscription of the Pinnacle (Inscriptionists only)
Greater Inscription of the Gladiator (10,000 Honor Points)
Greater inscription of the Pinnacle (Sons of Hodir – Exalted)

Relentless Gladiator’s Dragonhide Spaulders – PvP Reward
Duskstalker Shoulderpads – 45 Emblem of Triumph
Malfurion’s Shoulderpads of Conquest – 30 Emblem of Triumph and no token from Tier 9 vendor
Furious Gladiator’s Dragonhide Spaulders – PvP Reward
Valorous Dreamwalker Shoulderpads – Token for turn in costs 60 Emblems of Valor
Deadly Gladiator’s Dragonhide Spaulders – PvP Reward
Trollwoven Spaulders – Leatherworking crafted BoE
Shoulderpads of the Infamous Knave – Drops from The Black Knight in Regular Trial of the Champion
Hateful Gladiator’s Dragonhide Spaulders – PvP Reward
Sprinting Shoulderpads – Drops from Elder Nadox in Heroic Ahn’kahet
Spaulders of the Careless Thief – Drops from Grand Magus Telestra in Heroic Nexus
Savage Gladiator’s Dragonhide Spaulders – Emblem of Heroism
Eviscerator’s Shoulderpads – Leatherworking crafted BoE, useable at level 78

Cloak

Enchant: Major Agility (+22 Agility)

Platinum Mesh Cloak – 25 Emblem of Valor
Durable Nerubhide Cape – Leatherworking crafted BoE
Shroud of Reverberation – Drops from Volkhan in Heroic Halls of Lightning
Hammerhead Sharkskin Cloak – 25 Emblem of Valor
Ice Striker’s Cloak – Leatherworking crafted BoE
Cloak of the Gushing Wound – Drops from Erekem in Heroic The Violet Hold
Cloak of the Enemy – Drops from Commander (first boss) in Heroic Nexus
Drape of the Undefeated – Drops from The Black Knight in Trial of the Champion (more a DPS cloak)

Chest

Enchant: Super Stats

Knightbane Carapace – Leatherworking crafted BoE from a recipe drop in Trials raid
Relentless Gladiator’s Dragonhide Robes – PvP Reward
Malfurion’s Raiments of Conquest – 50 Emblem of Triumph and no token from Tier 9 vendor
Furious Gladiator’s Dragonhide Robes – PvP Reward
Conqueror’s Nightsong Raiments – Token costs 58 Emblems of Conquest
Titan-Forged Leather Tunic of Triumph – 40 Wintergrasp Mark of Honor
Polar Vest – Leatherworking crafted BoE
Savage Gladiator’s Dragonhide Robes – 45 Emblem of Heroism
Darkheart Chestguard – Rep vendor: Knights of the Ebon Blade (Exalted)
Crystal-Infused Tunic – Drops from Keristrasza in Heroic Nexus
Exotic Leather Tunic – Reward from Quest, “Junk in My Trunk” in Utgarde Pinnacle
Drake Rider’s Tunic – Drops from Skadi the Ruthless in Regular Utgarde Pinnacle
Eviscerator’s Chestguard – Leatherworking crafted BoE, useable at level 78

Wrist

Enchant: Major Stamina (40 Stamina)

Bracers of Swift Death – Leatherworking crafted BoE from a recipe drop in ToC Raid
Titan-Forged Armwraps of Triumph – 15 Wintergrasp Mark of Honor
Armbands of the Wary Lookout – Drops from The Black Knight in Heroic Trial of the Champion
Wristwraps of the Cutthroat – 60 Emblem of Valor
Bindings of the Tunneler – Drops from Skarvald the Constructor in Heroic Utgarde Keep
Hateful Gladiator’s Armwraps of Triumph – PvP Reward
Dragonfriend Bracers – Rep vendor: The Wyrmrest Accord (Exalted)
Advanced Tooled-Leather Bands – Drops from Loken in Heroic Halls of Lightning
Drake-Champion’s Bracers – BoE Trash drop from Oculus, buyable on AH
King’s Square Bracers – BoE Trash drop from Culling of Time – Strat, buyable on AH
Eviscerator’s Bindings – Leatherworking crafted, useable at level 78

Hands

Enchant: Major Agility (+20 Agility)

Malfurion’s Handgrips of Conquest – 30 Emblem of Triumph
Gloves of the Blind Stalker – 28 Emblem of Conquest
Gloves of the Argent Fanatic – Drops from either 2nd boss in Regular Trial of the Champion
Charged-Bolt Grips – Drops from Ionar in Heroic Halls of Lightning
Savage Gladiator’s Dragonhide Gloves – 30 Emblem of Heroism
Handwraps of Preserved History – Quest reward from “A Royal Escort” in Culling of Time: Strat
Bile-Cured Gloves – Drops from Meathook in Heroic Culling of Time: Strat
Gilt-Edged Leather Gauntlets – Drops from King Ymiron in Heroic Utgarde Pinnacle
Sidestepping Handguards – Drops from Mage-Lord Urom in Regular Oculus
Seafoam Gauntlets – Leatherworking crafted BoE, useable at level 78
Eviscerator’s Gauntlets – Leatherworking crafted BoE, useable at level 78

Waist

Enchants: Don’t forget your Eternal Belt Buckle

Belt of the Twilight Assassin – 28 Emblem of Conquest
Death-warmed Belt – Leatherworking recipe for BoE drops in Ulduar 25
Sharp-Barbed Leather Belt – Drops from Ingvar the Plunderer in Heroic Utgarde Keep
Titan-Forged Belt of Triumph – 15 Wintergrasp Mark of Honor
Trollwoven Girdle – Leatherworking crafted BoE
Jorach’s Crocolisk Skin Belt – 40 Emblem of Heroism
Polar Cord – Leatherworking crafted BoE
Treasure Seeker’s Belt – BoE trash drop in Azjol-Nerub, buyable from AH

Leggings

Enchant: Frosthide Leg Armor

Malfurion’s Legguards of Conquest – 50 Emblem of Triumph and no token from Tier 9 vendor
Titan-Forged Leather Legguards of Triumph – 40 Wintergrasp Mark of Honor
Leggings of Wavering Shadow – 39 Emblem of Conquest
Valorous Dreamwalker Legguards – Token purchased from vendor costs 75 Emblems of Valor
Mind-Expanding Leggings – Rep vendor: Kirin Tor (Revered)
Gored Hide Legguards – Drops from Gal’darah in Heroic Gundrak
Legguards of Swarming Attacks – Drops from Amanitar in Heroic Ahn’kahet
Leggings of Brazen Trespass – Drops in Eadric’s (loot pinata) Cache in Regular Trial of the Champion
Savage Gladiator’s Dragonhide Legguards – 45 Emblem of Heroism
Ravenous Leggings of the Furbolg – Drops from Gortok Palehoof in Heroic Utgarde Pinnacle
Chain Gang Legguards – World Drop BoE, buyable in AH
Constellation Leggings – Drops in Tribunal Chest in Regular Halls of Stone
Eviscerator’s Legguards – Leatherworking crafted BoE useable at level 78

Feet

Enchant: Superior Agility (+16 Agility)

Footpads of Silence – Leatherworking recipe drops from Ulduar, crafted BoE, expensive
Treads of Dismal Fortune – Drops from 1st Champion fight, Heroic ToC
Titan-Forged Boots of Triumph – 15 Wintergrasp Mark of Honor
Polar Boots – Leatherworking crafted BoE
Hateful Gladiator’s Boots of Triumph – PvP Reward
Boots of Captain Ellis – 40 Emblem of Valor
Slag Footguards – Drops from Volkhan in Heroic Halls of Lightning
Gorloc Muddy Footwraps – Drops from Eck in Heroic Gundrak
Treads of Nimble Evasion – 10 Champion’s Seal (Argent Tournament)
Boots of the Whirling Mist – Drops from Sjonnir The Ironshaper in Heroic Halls of Stone
Boots of the Neverending Path – Rep vendor: Argent Crusade (Exalted)
Jormscale Footpads – Leatherworking crafted BoE, useable at 78
Eviscerator’s Treads – Leatherworking crafted BoE, useable at 78

Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?

Ahh, a gratuitous Full Metal Jacket quote.

You know it’s going to be a good day.

Oh, and the quote has no relevance to the post. I just like quoting Full Metal Jacket. And I wish I had an R. Lee Ermey action figure.

I said action figure, damn it!

So, what brought me to just spontaneously mention R. Lee Ermey, John Wayne, and Full Metal Jacket?

I was reading a post by Chawa at The Wayward Initiative, where she has an idea for an Achievement Title she’d like to see added to the Pilgrim holiday event… and was soliciting ideas for what you could do to earn it. 🙂

I’ll give you a minute to go over there, read the post, and then bookmark the site. With posts like that, you’ll want to go visit again, right?

Okay, let’s go.

The quote Chawa chose is pretty good. It sets up the situation… “You done caused a lot of trouble today, and you dearly deserve a solid asskicking. I’m a better man, and I’m not gonna be the one to lower myself to give it to you. Wait, you know what? On second thought, screw that, I am gonna kick your ass.”

So in what situation can we identify someone that needs an asskicking, and then proceed to kick their ass?

Of course, I immediately consider ways to pwn my own faction. If there is anything that can get a person frustrated, it’s having to deal with people being asshats on your own faction, in your pugged groups, in your Trade chat, whatever, and not being able to gank the living shit out of them.

The next thing that comes to mind is, if it’s for an Achievement during a temporary holiday, with a 7 day duration… can we get have a temporary ‘smackdown’ item or flag for them, that lets us affect our own faction?

Now, how to make sure the people that get nailed are those that deserve it.

That… that right there is the hard part, isn’t it?

After all, who determines who deserves a good asskicking?

Well, sure, me. Of course. You can trust me. 🙂

As Future Sam thought to Past Sam in Night Watch, sometimes the difference between something being right or wrong is that it’s you doing it. 

Okay, that’s facetious, but when I read that, I knew what he was saying. You know what your intent is, and if you’re gonna take the law into your own hands and be a vigilante, well, you know your own motives, right? But that other bastard… who the hell knows WHAT he was thinking? He’s probably an evil, mean, nasty sumbitch, right?

Okay, it was a lot funnier when Sam thought it.

Still needs to be said… *I* may be okay with me having the power to decide who does or does not deserve an in-game asskicking… but I bet *you* aren’t.

So, who do you trust?

In World of Warcraft, we’d have to trust Blizzard’s game designers, right?

So, for there to be a judgment set up by Blizzard game designers… it has to be able to be articulated and implemented in an automatic fashion through programming.

Is it possible to build in a method by which the game can detect a behavior, and then mark the person for elimination (or bitchslapping) by players?

In Borean Tundra, those PITA types don’t like you killing animals. If you kill an animal, you get covered in blood until you enter water to wash it off. If they see you while you’re covered in animal blood, boom. They go after you.

This shows there is a mechanism in game for detecting whether someone has fulfilled a condition, and is or is not open for attack by computer controlled NPCs. Additionally, there is a built-in marking function that can be tied to the condition, so players can see it as well. It can even be set so the condition is not set by duration, but can be persistant until logout, or by fulfilling some specific condition… like being killed, or entering a water area.

Taking an example from the distant past, if you merely walk on certain areas, even in a PvE server, you get flagged instantly for PvP whether you like it or not, and that makes you wide open to attack by the opposite faction. 

This means there is a mechanism in place for recognizing behavior, such as traveling in a zone, and becoming flagged for player PvP against your will.

So… is it possible to tie, say… typed chat into the triggering mechanism?

Can you, perhaps, have the chat system recognise spammed/repeated sentences or comments from a player, or frequency of comment from a player, and if someone spams Trade chat, say, with a repeated statement or with a big macro or saying, then they immediately get a big Skull placed over their head, and flagged for same-faction/any faction wide open PvP gankage?

Oh please… please, let it be so.

I know it’s too much to ask to be able to destroy a same-faction loot ninja on sight… but if someone that ports into Dalaran and starts to spam Trade were flagged and marked with a nice shiny Skull over their head, maybe for as long as 5 minutes, and could be killed by ANYONE… oh, what fun.

Do a /who, see what city they’re in, and then go hunting.

“There he is! The little bastard is hiding in the Dal sewers near the Poison seller! Get him, guys!”

[Boot to the head!]

/sigh

And while I’m wishing, I’d like a pony, please.

Video Game Definitions

Video Game Definitions

The “Good” controller: The one controller out of dozens in the house you are convinced actually works. Often fought over when playing multiplayer fighting games.

The “S.O.B.” controller: The controller you throw across the room with all of your might, screaming “Son of a bitch”, after losing your last life to a totally cheesy bugged jump platform 30 minutes after the last game save. Often discovered to have formerly been the good controller.

Vintage Game Console: A game console you remember as being made of solid gold (or costing as if it were), having the greatest games of all time, and providing thousands of hours of pure joy. When plugged in, often crashes in mid-game at the wrong time, requiring the cartridge to be removed, taken apart, and an eraser run over the corroded copper contacts to make it work again.

Headset Microphone: Intended for use in coordinating actions in a multiplayer game. Actually used to listen to random people talk about sex, getting high, and bitching about corpse campers and loot ninjas.

Handheld gaming system: The dangerous big brother of the SOB controller. Most wonderful invention known to man after the bacon sandwich, except when you try to play it in direct sunlight. Usually designed without an internal light, forcing gamers to seek out a delicate balance between daylight and shadow, known as ‘gamers twilight’. Versions made with internal lights, or screens that can be seen in daylight, are released as new models costing more than the original, and yet the corporate offices are, surprisingly, not stormed. Often found in bathrooms and in school book bags next to undone homework.

Video Card: An excuse to spend thousands of dollars over the years in a deranged suicidal arms race love pact with hardware designers and graphics programmers to see who will crack first. If a video card were finally released that was capable of modeling the real world in 3D in finer resolution than the eye could recognise, a video game would be released 3 months later that required two of the cards in a parallel configuration to run at max resolution. And people would buy them.

Games intended for children: Made with horrible graphics, terrible repetitive gameplay, poor controls, and game crashing bugs. Sells very well due to featuring a licensed character from a television show or popular product line that parents recognise when desperately trying to find a present for other people’s children.

Games intended for teens: Feature platforming puzzles, cute characters, fast gameplay and cartoony graphics. Primarily played by adults. Frequently kept on gamers shelves for years, even decades, from a fondness for the tight gameplay experience.

Games Rated M for Mature: Games intended for mature players, commonly containing nudity, profanity, extreme violence or gore, murder, death, slaughter, wanton chaos and cruelty to small furry animals. Primarily played by teens. The video game equivalent of the horror film; talked about at school in hushed tones, the ‘cool’ kids have all either played it or have seen it played. Kids watch scenes of gameplay on Youtube to be “in the know”. Frequently dumped two weeks after release in favor of the new, hot, controversial game on the market, and never heard of again.

Massively Multiplayer Role Playing Game: Any game where the core gameplay comes from a persistent world filled with a large community of live players. As each game design company works harder to make a more pleasing and enticing world to draw in new players, more people decide to abandon the real world to lose themselves in a happier place where things make more sense. Eventually the design wars will result in the creation of an online utopia, the real world will be abandoned, and people will have wires stuck up their butts and be turned into batteries.

Original author of every word… ME! (BBB)

Why? Because I thought it would be funny.  Feel free to add your own, I could go on for hours… I didn’t even touch console wars, console versus PC, PC versus Mac… man, these things write themselves.

A word of advice on hunting Wild Turkey

First, try your local liquor store. They got lots.

No, seriously, the latest seasonal event has a quest where you have to kill 40 Wild Turkeys, and you only have 30 seconds between kills to get the next one, or the counter resets.

The only place to find them are Elwynn Forest, or Tirisfal Glades.

Competition, as you might have noticed, is fierce.

My advice?

If you are a Druid, make sure you eat some Tracker Snacks.

The Turkeys are level 1 Beasts, so you will be able to track them, to help you find that crucial next one.

You buy the recipe from the Dalaran Cooking trainer.

That is all.

In love of Ret Pallies

In one of my more recent posts, I said;

I know I’ve been told that Retribution DPS sucks compared to other classes, and the reason for it is to compensate for a Paladin’s survivability in PvP. I’ve been told that I should just accept that people aren’t going to want a Ret Paladin in their runs, because we don’t, ahem, “put out”.

I’d like to point out that the key words in those sentences are “I’ve been told.”

I never meant to suggest that *I* believed it. I meant to suggest that there are clearly people out there that *do* believe it… and when you’re trying to get a group with strangers from the community, it doesn’t matter what you know, it matters what the majority of the community believes.

Hey, a lot of people in the community can believe that Greg Street wears briefs instead of boxers, that doesn’t make it so.

Noobs. Ghostcrawler is too manly for briefs.

He goes commando, of course.

Now that I’ve left you with that mental image, I’ll move on.

To prove that I bear the retribution Paladins nothing but love, I’m linking to two of my absolute favoritist Retribution Paladin bloggers… and I invite you to recommend your favorites in the comments. (Ret, not Prot… there are tons of great Prot bloggers, darn straight, but they get all the love already).

My two favorites are Jong of Forbearance, whom I’ve mentioned a few times recently as I have been playing my Paladin more, and Morrighan of Caer Morrighan fame.

Morrighan is simply awesome, and has great informative posts mixed in with fun, and Jong… well, Jong has expressed a love of Bacon and Bruce Willis in the past. How can you not swear allegience to a man like that?

In other news, I think I need to make a Pally alt on a server somewhere called “Pallywhacker”…

In closing, I’d like to show you a little sample of my night last night as a Retribution Paladin, for those who wonder if I actually am doing anything other than sitting in /Trade pining away…

AchieveStack

See? I DO play my Paladin!

And my thanks to The Zug Initiative for carrying me along with you. 🙂 It was great fun.