Tales from the LFG Tavern

Bellwether wrote a post this morning, lamenting the degradation of her Paladin as a healer, rather than the massive DPS machine she originally envisioned, and for which she yet yearns to become.

I love being inspired by other bloggers. 🙂

So, there I am on my Paladin.

I’ve done a faction transfer, and my previously short and stout dwarf Paladin has been stretched, bleached, waxed (damn, that hurt… no, really, when you wax a dwarf, it’s a whole blody experience) and hair gel applied with a trowel.

Ta da!!! Instant Blood Elf Paladin, just add money.

I look around, I’m level 80, and I see this wonderful new world of anonymity opening up before me.

“Nobody knows me here”, I think, “I’m free to be as disgustingly rude and asshattish as I want, and nobody will know. Let loose the hounds of Gabriel and put the internet fuckwad theory to full display!”

And then I go ahead and act the same as always, because that’s just who I am.

But I could’ve done it! I had the choice! Freedom to be a jackass was within my grasp!

Okay, I know, many would say I already am one. Let’s move on.

As I was saying, there I am, level 80. I brought some money over with me, I was maxed level Engineering with my Goggles, I’d bought some crafted kickass epics, it was all good.

I started doing the Argent Tournament dailies, and worked my way to a nice epic weapon.

But on this brave new faction, all alone, where do I turn for fun? Where do I look for a little action? Sadly, Crapgame plays high stakes. I need some penny ante stuff to get my feet wet.

I know! The LFG tool!

I’ll just park my happy butt in there as a DPS Paladin, and wait for some normal group to form and off I’ll go to do some normal runs, get some blues. From there, why, someday heroics and Emblem rewards await!




Hmm, that Peggle addon is pretty cool, huh?

Wow, I’ve farmed HOW MUCH ore?

Damn, Saronite ore only goes for 10 gold a stack. Wassup with that?

Hmm, might as well go look for the Jeeves recipe.

Okay, got the recipe, might as well start farming mats.

I *AM* still in the LFG channel, right?

Okay, fine, whatever. Let’s go do BRD and get the recipe for the old skool freakazoid robot.

Hmmm, gonna need some Thorium. Off to Sillythis!

What, did I forget my underarm deoderant today?

Yes, still in channel. Browse channels, a whole crapton of DPS in there. Oh wait, theres a tank. Aaaaannnnnddd…. poof, he’s gone. Oh, there’s a healer… oh wait, there he went.


Okay, got all the thorium I could ever want… holy crap, that sells for HOW MUCH?

Back to Sillythis!


Woot! An unsolicited invite to group, without a whisper first! They DO love me!

/join party

Hmmm… a Warlock, a Hunter, and me.

“Can you tank or are you heals?”

Ummm… I’m a Ret Pally tallywhacker, said so in my LFG comment.

“You have been removed from group.”

Oh, come on!


I’ll go research tanking. Maybe I can get some tips and guides, get a spec, figure out some achievable quest and crafted gear and sign up as a tank for a normal run.

/time passes… slowly….

Okay! I have enough gear to adequately tank regular runs. Not heroics, but I could handle Nexus or Utgardt Keep. Let’s go!

[open LFG]

[sign up for normal Nexus… as a tank]

.0342 seconds later… “You have been invited to join a group”


So that’s how it’s going to be, is it?

Three DPS and me… waiting for healer.



“I’ll just be farming some Thorium until we get a healer.”

30 minutes later… people vamoose.


Eventually, groups form. Runs happen. 

I build up a reasonable DPS Retadin set for heroics. And some tanky stuff, too, of course.

Finally! Let’s get back to the real fun! Tallywhacker HO!!!!

/join LFG for heroic as DPS!


Oh, are you fricken kidding me?

[opens LFG]

Sure enough, a gabillion DPS, no healers or tanks.

A group forms.

A healer and two DPS.

I get invited.

And there we sit. And sit. Periodically, we all check in LFG and in /General and /LFG and /Trade for a tank, any heroic.

The plea goes out in party chat.

“Doesn’t ANYONE know a tank?”


I cannot believe I’m going to do this. This sucks. I don’t want to do this. But I could tank, and I’m not volunteering, and everybody is just sitting and waiting… and I’m being stubborn and not volunteering, and so I’m preventing other people from having fun because I didn’t want to tank…


“I can tank. But my gear is not suited to heroics. It’s at the normal instance run level. Really, I’m not being modest. I’m squishy. We would all die a horrible, violent death if I tank. Really. BUT… if you are all willing to take a chance, and be patient, and watch your threat, and IF the healer is an amazing rockstar healing GOD, maybe we can get through…. Nexus.”

Healer: “Oh, I can keep you alive, no problem, let’s go.”

One miserable freaking pug later, endless wipes, everyone pulls aggro by exploding their DPS instantly…

“Arrghhh! Why? Why did I do that to myself? That sucked! I’m not ready, damnit! And I’m not liking it!”

Fast forward to many pugs, fit in here or there over the course of a week.

Fine. There we go. Since all I’m doing is pugging, all my Emblems are spent on tanking stuff. I’ve done everything I can to prepare my tanking stuff for heroics. I’m ready to go.

Wait, what? What the hell am I doing? I don’t LIKE tanking for pugs! These people are idiots. They just pull, pull, pull! Oh, is there a bad guy? UNLOAD HELLFIRE!!! Hey, Paladin, why can’t you hold aggro? I only have 6K+ DPS!! You loser noob!

I want to swing a big hammer and have fun! If I wanted stress and bullshit, I’d pug on my Druid some more!

This ain’t fun.

/retire toon.


Is my Paladin gone forever?


What is my Paladin waiting for?

The new LFG tool, that’s what.

I anticipate that with the new LFG tool, people are going to want to reap the benefits of using the “add a random person to form a group using LFG.”

But are most people going to want to just throw caution to the winds and form totally random groups?

No, I don’t think so.

I think most folks are control freaks. They want a sure thing. They want a known tank. They want a known healer.

But DPS… everybody discounts DPS. DPS are treated exactly the same way upper management and suits with no experience in the real world treat skilled machine operators and technicians… as monkeys.

As in, “Any monkey can pull a switch or hit a button, if we lose a lot of people, just hire in some more temps. It’s us important people in upper management that make the difference.”

To paraphrase the Rutger Hauer movie Blind Justice… “The business world is filled with suits with arrogant attitudes… and failed businesses.” 

Well, the WoW world is full of tanks and healers that think any monkey can faceroll a keyboard and generate 3K+ DPS.

So, I think that a lot of healer/tank combos are going to want to take advantage of LFG to get the extra rewards by adding random people… you guessed it, DPS.

It seems silly, but I really do think that the new LFG is going to mean I might be able to get some pugs in on my Paladin, as the spec I actually WANT to play.

And when that day dawns, my tallywhacker is going to come out of hiding, and have a blast.

Sure, it’s not TotGC25, but that’s not what I want to do anyway.

I’d just like to be able to sign up for the role I’d like to play, and not feel pressured to HAVE to tank in order to get in a group, or to offer myself up AS a tank to make a group happen.

Time will tell, time will tell.

Of course, the true moral of the story is; don’t pug, just run with your friends.

But if I only run with friends, how will I get these wonderfully vicious stories of asshats in pugs? Huh? I ask you!

29 thoughts on “Tales from the LFG Tavern

  1. i know this is an old post but i have to laugh at the group that kicked you for not being heals or tank: a lock and a hunter. i immediately thought of the people in trade (lfg, spam chat) that will say, “LFM Ony 10 need 2 heals, 2 tanks, and 5 dps then gtg.” wtf? you check their info. yeah, it’s a rogue. i laugh every time.


  2. Dear John aka Big Bear Butt,

    I’ve had a similar problem with my paladin, Lenabela. She started out as ret up until level 77. It was then that I realized that there was no way anyone would want another Ret Paladin on my server of Feathermoon as we are dps heavy. So I switched her to Holy/Prot and found out that I enjoyed both of those more than Ret.

    In your case, however, I’m hoping that finding a group of friends that will appreciate your spec and the new LFG tool to be a big boon to your dungeon raids in the future.


    of Feathermoon US


  3. So wierd. I’ve been level 80 for literally a year now. Time /played at lvl 80, accounting for work, sleep, and vacations away from any keyboards (including blizzcon) plus personal leave for funerals and holidays, plus a short burnout period after xmas means I’ve been playing WoW A LOT, lol. Anyhow, having some reputation as a progression raiding tank means it’s not as hard as all that to find a group, but if I ever want to DPS I grab a tank from my own guild, so I can sort of feel your pain BBB. So, the moral of the story? Bring that glorious BELF (although when you can play a tauren paladin I’m sure you will…) over to Stormscale and run with The Herd! Lol.


  4. @ Original post – I’m surprised at anyone who envisioned her paladin as a DPS machine (although they have at times been that in WoW). I’ve known from my D&D days that as a paladin, the trade-off you make for being able to heal yourself (and others) is that you’ll be less fearsome than a warrior in a fight.

    @ Lost Apostle – your point is correct, but from your tone do I guess that you play on a PvP server? 🙂

    @ Bear – you transferred from Dwarf to Belf? That is a betrayal! Although I’m thinking of rolling a Belf paladin myself, but that’s because Horde is where my guild is.

    As for the overall point – I sympathise with people who want to DPS when they’re a hybrid class. Personally I’d rather have the group happen and achieve whatever target I have in the instance, than wait around for someone to fill a role I can fill myself. But equally know what a relief it can be to be a pure damage class and avoid any hint that perhaps you’d like to re-spec for the run.

    I think the cross-server LFG will make things marginally better for DPSers – if only because it will be more widely used than LFG is now, so you can get on with other stuff while waiting for a group to form. At the moment you realistically have to be sitting in a city, so you can spam the chat channels, even if you are using LFG.
    .-= orc shaman´s last blog ..One poor shaman =-.


  5. If you really want some PUG fun, get a load of newly minted lvl 80 tanking blues and join lfg as a tank. Then blame the healer after every wipe. I just had to laugh at your post. Some days I just don’t feel like tanking and spend those endless hours in lfg fending off messages of “can you tank?’ What I finally had to do is find a casual tank find out what time he got off work and BEG him to do heriocs with me when he plays. We are actually friends now.


  6. New LFG is making my alts (and main) so totally happy.

    I’ma level a healer, who only heals instances for the entire lvl 12 (RFC HOYYYY!) to 80. Then I’ll do a tank… and so on and so forth.

    I really, really, really can’t wait. Screw ICC, I can farm ToC more. I want 3.3 for the LFG tool!

    Help me Obi-Wan GC, bring me the LFG tool!


  7. I am so excited about the new LFG tool. I have four 80s, and I usually don’t have a problem finding a group with my guild, but I will PuG for a cute pet! I definitely know how you feel, I was forced to heal in raids on my druid forever when I wanted to play as a kitty. But it seems as though every raid is short healers, it sucks because, although I like healing, I also like the choice of what I would like to play for the night.

    I have never had an issue where someone asked me to heal if I didn’t mark the heal button, but seriously you feel so guilty that you feel as though you must volunteer! I have tanked a bunch in 5 mans in my kitty spec. Ok that is b/c I have tanking gear that brings me to like 37k hp, but w/e people are desperate, and you have to resist if you truly want to dps! I haven’t learned that lesson yet lol, I just want to get the group going.


  8. Just had to be said….. You are a paladin. You are playing the highest single target healing and highest threat generating tank classe in the game. Also the lowest melee dps class. People figured this out a long time ago. It all happened because people went overboard on pvp and arenas. Paladins have mediocre damage but can live thru pretty much every thing and cc the crap outta a single target.

    If you seriously want it changed you may wanna talk to your other fellow paladins and get your demends on hte bubble down and lay of hands so you can get some dps. Right now you are paying the penalty of super survivability.


  9. One thing that has not been mentioned is the ability to be in a more active LFG deal with out having to sit in a major city and spam /trade. To be able to que up for a heroic, and then do dailies will be awesome I think. Just being in the current LFG interface (as dps) has me do all my dailies, farm some herbs, go find some other silly thing to do…….and maybe just maybe somebody will invite me. And normally they do so with out telling me anything in advance…which I find rude. The ability to be able to just be in there and then BAM when a group is formed and I’m ported there? AWESOME. Then, afterward…ported back (I think, I may be wrong) just like the battlegrounds are now, would be great for my limited play time. It’s multi-tasking made easy.


  10. @lethal
    While levelling everyone goes DPS spec.

    That’s not true. My example is one where I am levelling dps, but I have also levelled a resto druid, a prot warrior and, for what it’s worth, a tanking DK. My main is a feral druid whom I prefer to play in cat form, but am certainly willing to go bear. My next projects are going to be getting around to levelling a priest & shaman and they will be holy & resto, respectively. Because I like healing. Cross server LFG will be especially welcome for anyone who has tried levelling a healing spec through questing/grinding. It’s just that tanking and healing toons aren’t going to be the examples from which to draw, “I can never find groups” stories.

    I believe you are correct that cross server LFG will not magically change the ratio of dps to tanks/heals in the game. However, what it will do, through elegant application of the Law of Large Numbers, is even out the availability of tanks & healers, especially for those of us who play at odd hours.

    I do agree with you that those of us (and admittedly, I often find myself in the camp) who believe cross server LFG will solve all our instance running woes are deluding ourselves to a degree. We’re hoping it will be as awesome as the WSG queue while conveniently ignoring that at levels 71-79 we could sometimes be queued up for Isle of Conquest all night without getting into a BG.

    So yeah, in my more rational moments I can recognize it’s not going to be a cure all . . . but I’m betting it will be a huge improvement.

    I totally disagree with you that hybrid classes who can heal or tank have some sort of resonsibility to do so. We play this game to have fun, right? If I do not find healing to be enjoyable, why do I have a responsibility to make myself miserable anyway just so someone else can enjoy his game? I mean, personally, I do like healing. Sometimes, I even enjoy tanking. But other times, I just want to go blow stuff up. If I want to heal, I’ll go play my resto druid. If I want to tank, I’ll go play my prot warrior. When I’m in the queue as dps, it’s because I feel like fahrin’ mah lazers!!!!! Know what I mean?


  11. Bad Bear, Naughty Bear! ::looking at the husband, who has fallen out of his chair and is on the floor in a paroxysm of laughter from “The Full Body Experience” part:: When he’s still waking up, he has no resistance to that! ::chuckle::


  12. Here here. I can not wait for this new LFG to come out. I’m not on 24 hours a day, unlike many of my guild members, so I’m kind of left out on my own when it comes to heroics and raiding. So I’m hoping that the LFG will help with this. Will it solve all my frustrations? Doubtful, but it’s a step.


  13. My main is a dual-spec Resto/Bear. I became very used to getting into a group pretty immediately any time I wanted. Just sign in and watch the request tells start pouring in. Having leveled my hunter to 80 though, I’m finding that it’s virtually impossible to find a group of any sort that doesn’t involve random friends and guildies giving me priority invites. It’s a bit of a culture shock really.

    A couple of times, I’ve switched toons entirely to get a group up and going…which leaves my poor hunter with not many emblems. I just honestly hate waiting around when I have limited play time.
    .-= Rusty Haskell´s last blog ..The Latest From Azeroth =-.


  14. Forgive me if I remain sceptical, but I dont think the cross-server LFG tool is going to make all of these problems going away.
    Take Jack’s situation. While levelling everyone goes DPS spec. Cross server LFG will reduce the time to find a group, as 5 people 30 – 39 x 10 servers = a whole lot more choice. BUT these people will still be DPS spec. Other servers don’t magically have people that level tank, or level holy/resto.
    Boomkin/Spriests/ele Shaman should step up and heal instances while levelling, as ret pallys/arms warriors/kitty druids need to tank.

    As for your problem BBB, it is caused by the situation you describe.
    Good DPS are hard to find. Good tanks are hard to find. Thus all the tanks and healers who aren’t tanking for you, are running with those 6k ToGC geared dps toons. Those people are valued.
    I really dont think that LFG tool is suddenly going make things different. If the ratio on your server is 10% tanks, 20% healers, 70% deeps, how do you visualise how LFG tool is going to change this? You are just going to be competiting with the same ratio of people across the battlegroup.

    If i had the chioce between blasting through a random heroic with a guild group, or getting a healer and ‘hoping’ for the best and an extra reward, id take the guild group anyday. More fun to be with friends and removes all the ‘stress’ you have with tanking


  15. @copey, lucky you werent in the guild i was in on kultiras pre wotlk, i was the 4th feral druid tank.. second string backup… i was so happy to go boomkin that i never looked back at tanking. but, i’m starting to reconsider, since i don’t really like healing..
    .-= kattrinsaa´s last blog ..RFTC Screenshots =-.


  16. Ha! Pallywhacker.

    Man, talk about the blessing/curse of a hybrid. Back when I started I asked for advice and I was told to go Druid, and I’m SO happy (and sometimes so sad) that I did. In BC at 70 was the first time I healed anybody besides myself…at all…ever. And I did it in my full boomkin gear. As a moderately geared caster dps I never…ever got a chance to dps, even in heroics. But a poorly geared healer? LET’S GO TO KARA! And boom. Kara took me from 900 +heals to 1600 +heals (bonus points for those that remember that heals and damage used to be separate stats). Then after a while I couldn’t ever find a tank, ever. Switched to tanking, been doing it ever since, but I sometimes throw on my caster gear and heal heroics for fun.

    Sounds great right? I just leveled a hunter…and it’s such a relief to be one of the ones that can’t be pressured into tanking or healing. DPS is so much fun, and less stressful in my opinion. I love having a toon that finally doesn’t need two (or more) sets of gear in my bags at all times. And I too look forward to the LFG tool. It looks fantastic.


  17. I’ve hopped in LFG flagged as a healer for specific instances recently (H:AN and regular ToC5) and have had no bites. But when I looked at who was looking for the ToC5 run, there was over 10 people sitting there (even a tank!) but no one wanted to put forth the effort to get a group together.

    Honestly, I’m just looking forward to the new LFG tool so that I can have instant gratification. Want to run an instance but short on time? Pop in, get a group, get ported, and run the instance. Poof! Done. No having to wait for people on your server who want to run your instance (or having to cajole someone to do the instance you want). What I would really like is to be able to form raids through the new LFG, but that’s apparently a long ways off.


  18. Ah man . . . just two nights ago, on my level 31 druid. I’m levelling balance because I’ve already levelled Feral & Resto, I want to level a Boomkin. I’ve got in the habit of hopping into LFG, with flag set to dps, while I go quest, mine hit the Auction Hall, whatever. I’ve only run two instances in 15 or so levels sitting in LFG. Stocks and BFD. Once each. That’s it.

    Two nights ago . . . I finally get in invite to RFK. Me, a paladin, two rogues. “So what do we still need? Healer or Tank?” I ask.

    “Healer,” the Pally responds.

    Awesome, I start doing my part to roust up a healer and not 30 seconds later Pally invites a fifth to the group. A rogue.

    “Um, who’s healing?”


    “No I’m not”

    “Okay, fine. You can tank.”

    “You misunderstand. I can dps. I’m not interested in healing or tanking.”

    “C’mon, you’re a druid, you can heal. Give it a whirl.”

    So I left the group, jumped back in the queue as dps and continued searching through Strahnbad for stealthed level 35 bad guys. An hour later, I’d killed a lot of Syndicate, a lot of Crushridge Ogres, lions and turtles. I had nearly 3 stacks each of ore & stone. I was level 32. And still in the queue. Along with a four person group consisting of a paladin and 4 rogues.

    Cross server LFG can’t come fast enough.


  19. But NaturalRegis… I did add you to my friends list. You weren’t on! I checked! So there!

    And Miss Medicina….

    This was the best I could do until Taurens become Paladins. Once tht happens… my Blood Elf is going to ahve to start taking steroids, hair transplants, a full horn mounting (and the places they bolt those horns on… ugh! And the tail!)… shudder.


  20. This is what we Dwarves refer to as the “tall and sexy” curse.

    Soooo, you wanted to leave us Dwarves behind to try and be all tall and sexy as a Belf did you?

    Well then. That’s what you get. The problem isn’t that you’re DPS, sir, it’s that you abandoned your Dwarven roots. Had you stayed loyal to us, we would have ensured you had a spot (DPS!) within our groups. But nooooooooo we weren’t cute enough for you! We were too hairy! So you went with a chest, back, and neck wax and became all Belfy. You will find no respect in that hairless, muscular, metro body!


  21. I main an Enhancement/Resto Shaman. I’m almost always surprised when I’m asked to DPS instead of heal in PuGs. In fact it happens pretty regularly, but it’s usually a group started by a Melee DPS or Tank who wants to hug my buffs.

    Not surprisingly my DPS set is worse than my Resto Set, but not by enough to make that big of a difference.

    I’m a bit tepid on the new LFG system coming but if nothing else it’ll be interesting at least for my alt DK who’s all DPS right now as I’m not confident in my gear or my skills as a tank on that Character.


  22. I know what you are talking about. On my server, there is NEVER a tank or a healer in sight, so what do I, the druid/DK have to do? Tank or heal! I can almost never go as DPS, because everyone wants to DPS, I know warriors that, even at 80, never learn how to tank even tho they have better gear than me as a tank…

    People only cares about DPS nowadays, wanting to kick ass.

    I want to DPS too, but fortunately, I think tanking and healing is fun. I feel wanted and I feel like I am important. Without the bear, everyone gets killed. Without the tree, everyone dies.

    People should reconsider, tanking and/or healing isn’t that bad, it’s a good thing! AND, the good thing now, you can have TWO(2) specs, one for dps/healing or even dps/tank or heal/tank! You can change! And you can get two or more sets of gear, it isn’t that hard!

    Dare to try out new things I say!


  23. Um, I’m a tank. You haven’t added me to your friends list yet, have you?

    See, I knew it… *glare* 😉

    That being said, I find there’s a flip coin to this. For heroics, yeah, it’s easier to find a group as a tank or healer. But I find it’s harder to get into raid pugs (ie: VoA) as a tank. Not so much because of quantity or spots available, but because the tank and healer gear is a tad more crucial. If you’re floating around in Naxx10 tank gear, no one’s going to want you in their VoA, Ulduar, ToC, whatever. But if you have Naxx10 dps gear, you can either still get carried OR even produce enough dps to appease the most critical folk.

    It’s a tricky balance. And if someone’s found it, good for them. I sure haven’t. 😛


  24. I have to say I am REALLY looking forward to the new LFG system. I think it will revive my interest in the game especially for the alts I have in the 70’s where I want to pull them through reg instances.

    All my toons are horde and I do find that horde doesn’t use the current LFG tool even half as much as the alliance toons I’ve experimented with on other servers.

    If the LFG tool doesn’t rock my socks I could see me leaving the game and hoping for the best with Star Trek in February.


  25. Totally with you there. 🙂 I have always considered my hunter to be my main. I have this internal quest to prove to the world that you CAN do decent DPS with a beast mastery spec. And yet, when raid time comes, who am I logging in, despite a glut of tanks in my guild? That’s right, the paladin. However, the control factor applies as well. Despite the fact that I’m pro at misdirect and feign death, if hubby wants to run an instance, and there are no tanks on in guild, I’m logging my paladin. Because I know that the two of us as tank and healer can survive just about anything, no matter if we get the crazy Master Blaster dps or the dps that can barely crack 1k in badge gear. When I’m the tank, I’m in charge, and that’s how I like it!
    .-= Carrie´s last blog ..What day is it? =-.


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