Bellwether wrote a post this morning, lamenting the degradation of her Paladin as a healer, rather than the massive DPS machine she originally envisioned, and for which she yet yearns to become.
I love being inspired by other bloggers.
So, there I am on my Paladin.
I’ve done a faction transfer, and my previously short and stout dwarf Paladin has been stretched, bleached, waxed (damn, that hurt… no, really, when you wax a dwarf, it’s a whole blody experience) and hair gel applied with a trowel.
Ta da!!! Instant Blood Elf Paladin, just add money.
I look around, I’m level 80, and I see this wonderful new world of anonymity opening up before me.
“Nobody knows me here”, I think, “I’m free to be as disgustingly rude and asshattish as I want, and nobody will know. Let loose the hounds of Gabriel and put the internet fuckwad theory to full display!”
And then I go ahead and act the same as always, because that’s just who I am.
But I could’ve done it! I had the choice! Freedom to be a jackass was within my grasp!
Okay, I know, many would say I already am one. Let’s move on.
As I was saying, there I am, level 80. I brought some money over with me, I was maxed level Engineering with my Goggles, I’d bought some crafted kickass epics, it was all good.
I started doing the Argent Tournament dailies, and worked my way to a nice epic weapon.
But on this brave new faction, all alone, where do I turn for fun? Where do I look for a little action? Sadly, Crapgame plays high stakes. I need some penny ante stuff to get my feet wet.
I know! The LFG tool!
I’ll just park my happy butt in there as a DPS Paladin, and wait for some normal group to form and off I’ll go to do some normal runs, get some blues. From there, why, someday heroics and Emblem rewards await!
Hmm, that Peggle addon is pretty cool, huh?
Wow, I’ve farmed HOW MUCH ore?
Damn, Saronite ore only goes for 10 gold a stack. Wassup with that?
Hmm, might as well go look for the Jeeves recipe.
Okay, got the recipe, might as well start farming mats.
I *AM* still in the LFG channel, right?
Okay, fine, whatever. Let’s go do BRD and get the recipe for the old skool freakazoid robot.
Hmmm, gonna need some Thorium. Off to Sillythis!
What, did I forget my underarm deoderant today?
Yes, still in channel. Browse channels, a whole crapton of DPS in there. Oh wait, theres a tank. Aaaaannnnnddd…. poof, he’s gone. Oh, there’s a healer… oh wait, there he went.
Okay, got all the thorium I could ever want… holy crap, that sells for HOW MUCH?
Back to Sillythis!
Woot! An unsolicited invite to group, without a whisper first! They DO love me!
Hmmm… a Warlock, a Hunter, and me.
“Can you tank or are you heals?”
Ummm… I’m a Ret Pally tallywhacker, said so in my LFG comment.
“You have been removed from group.”
Oh, come on!
I’ll go research tanking. Maybe I can get some tips and guides, get a spec, figure out some achievable quest and crafted gear and sign up as a tank for a normal run.
/time passes… slowly….
Okay! I have enough gear to adequately tank regular runs. Not heroics, but I could handle Nexus or Utgardt Keep. Let’s go!
[sign up for normal Nexus… as a tank]
.0342 seconds later… “You have been invited to join a group”
So that’s how it’s going to be, is it?
Three DPS and me… waiting for healer.
“I’ll just be farming some Thorium until we get a healer.”
30 minutes later… people vamoose.
Eventually, groups form. Runs happen.
I build up a reasonable DPS Retadin set for heroics. And some tanky stuff, too, of course.
Finally! Let’s get back to the real fun! Tallywhacker HO!!!!
/join LFG for heroic as DPS!
Oh, are you fricken kidding me?
Sure enough, a gabillion DPS, no healers or tanks.
A group forms.
A healer and two DPS.
I get invited.
And there we sit. And sit. Periodically, we all check in LFG and in /General and /LFG and /Trade for a tank, any heroic.
The plea goes out in party chat.
“Doesn’t ANYONE know a tank?”
I cannot believe I’m going to do this. This sucks. I don’t want to do this. But I could tank, and I’m not volunteering, and everybody is just sitting and waiting… and I’m being stubborn and not volunteering, and so I’m preventing other people from having fun because I didn’t want to tank…
“I can tank. But my gear is not suited to heroics. It’s at the normal instance run level. Really, I’m not being modest. I’m squishy. We would all die a horrible, violent death if I tank. Really. BUT… if you are all willing to take a chance, and be patient, and watch your threat, and IF the healer is an amazing rockstar healing GOD, maybe we can get through…. Nexus.”
Healer: “Oh, I can keep you alive, no problem, let’s go.”
One miserable freaking pug later, endless wipes, everyone pulls aggro by exploding their DPS instantly…
“Arrghhh! Why? Why did I do that to myself? That sucked! I’m not ready, damnit! And I’m not liking it!”
Fast forward to many pugs, fit in here or there over the course of a week.
Fine. There we go. Since all I’m doing is pugging, all my Emblems are spent on tanking stuff. I’ve done everything I can to prepare my tanking stuff for heroics. I’m ready to go.
Wait, what? What the hell am I doing? I don’t LIKE tanking for pugs! These people are idiots. They just pull, pull, pull! Oh, is there a bad guy? UNLOAD HELLFIRE!!! Hey, Paladin, why can’t you hold aggro? I only have 6K+ DPS!! You loser noob!
I want to swing a big hammer and have fun! If I wanted stress and bullshit, I’d pug on my Druid some more!
This ain’t fun.
Is my Paladin gone forever?
What is my Paladin waiting for?
The new LFG tool, that’s what.
I anticipate that with the new LFG tool, people are going to want to reap the benefits of using the “add a random person to form a group using LFG.”
But are most people going to want to just throw caution to the winds and form totally random groups?
No, I don’t think so.
I think most folks are control freaks. They want a sure thing. They want a known tank. They want a known healer.
But DPS… everybody discounts DPS. DPS are treated exactly the same way upper management and suits with no experience in the real world treat skilled machine operators and technicians… as monkeys.
As in, “Any monkey can pull a switch or hit a button, if we lose a lot of people, just hire in some more temps. It’s us important people in upper management that make the difference.”
To paraphrase the Rutger Hauer movie Blind Justice… “The business world is filled with suits with arrogant attitudes… and failed businesses.”
Well, the WoW world is full of tanks and healers that think any monkey can faceroll a keyboard and generate 3K+ DPS.
So, I think that a lot of healer/tank combos are going to want to take advantage of LFG to get the extra rewards by adding random people… you guessed it, DPS.
It seems silly, but I really do think that the new LFG is going to mean I might be able to get some pugs in on my Paladin, as the spec I actually WANT to play.
And when that day dawns, my tallywhacker is going to come out of hiding, and have a blast.
Sure, it’s not TotGC25, but that’s not what I want to do anyway.
I’d just like to be able to sign up for the role I’d like to play, and not feel pressured to HAVE to tank in order to get in a group, or to offer myself up AS a tank to make a group happen.
Time will tell, time will tell.
Of course, the true moral of the story is; don’t pug, just run with your friends.
But if I only run with friends, how will I get these wonderfully vicious stories of asshats in pugs? Huh? I ask you!