Another offtopic one, sorry. I’ve got a lot of posts in me today.
Last year, a problem was brought to me at work.
Picture this, if you will.
Our company is situated in a corner-style junction between two very busy streets. But not RIGHT on the corner.
Right on the corner is a small strip mall with a Pei Wei, a hair stylist, a Caribou Coffee, and some other stuffs.
Behind this strip mall, filling up a strip of space touching on both streets, is our company.
Our employee parking lot, therefore, touches both busy streets. It’s a straight shot between the two, as seen here;
South street access to parking lot.
North street access to the parking lot.
As you can see, it’s a straight, unobstructed shot between the two streets.
Right where these pictures were taken, located right where I’m standing, is the employee entrance to the building, and several picnic tables where the employees enjoy their breaks on all shifts when the weather is nice.
The problem that was brought to me, was that asshats looking to save themselves a .5 mile drive around the peak of the corner, not even a half a block, would cut through our parking lot at 95 freaking miles an hour, and there were frequently close calls where drivers would come damn close to killing one of our employees as they sat on the picnic benches.
I’m not kidding. This apparently had become known by people as the perfect shortcut if you wanted to feel slick in cutting off 30 seconds from your drive. What, people might actually want to not get killed for sitting on their picnic benches eating their dinner? Well, what the hell are they doing sitting where *I* want to drive? I is important!
So, I did something about it last year.
I got myself some barricades. And I ain’t taking about no bullshit plastic things, either. I mean, I got me some BARRICADES.
See how big they are in comparison to Jim sitting there? Yeah, I put those in about 8 months ago. Something like that.
Almost immediately, they paid for themselves in pure, personal enjoyment.
All day long after the crane installed them, people would come roaring into the lot at full speed, slamming over the dip in the ramp where the road meets the lot, only to come to a full-on screeching brake stop as they realize HOLY SHIT THERE’S A BIG ASS WALL THERE!!!!
Then the pleasure really cranks in as we watch these idiots turn and back and wobble around to turn their SUVs around and head slowly back the way they came.
This didn’t hurt anybody here, since we’ve got seperate shipping and receiving docks for actual truck deliveries. Nope, this just cut off the straight line throughfare in our employee parking lot. The lot that is clearly marked on both ends at the street, “Not a through street”, “Private parking lot, trespassers will be towed”, and Employee Parking Only”.
Our former highway became, wonder of wonders, a safe and peaceful parking lot overnight. Why, we can even set up more tables, chairs, and barbeques and hold company ‘picnics’ there safely now.
But still, 8 months later, it continues to bring me pleasure.
Just moments ago, I’m standing out there in the parking lot, and what should I see but an idiot come roaring blindly into the North street entrance, doing at least 45 around that blind turn, only to come to a dead stop in the lot, with the driver visibly in a rage, swearing and frothing at the mouth in his car. And, still swearing and raging, he slowly backed his ass into a spot and turned tail, and carried his ass out of our lot. All under the view of our security cameras the entire time, you understand. The cameras I installed.
As I stood and watched that, the old, familiar grin crept over my face in genuine pleasure.
It’s the exact same pleasure I feel any time I tank a run, and an asshat goes out of their way to pull groups FOR me, and the healer and I combined stand back and let them die.
Ahhh… asshats that get every little bit that they deserve, but so rarely receive. The true gift that keeps on giving.