Beware the New Mage Order!

Those dang fool Mages are at it again!

First they went and figured out a way to make it easy to travel all over the world… cornering the market on fast transport. Want a ‘port? Ten dollah. You savvy ten dollah?

Of course, that was quickly followed by their secret cross-Azerothian furry porn ring.

What? You think they learn all those Polymorph spells for nothing? Why do you THINK Sheep is the FIRST one they all learn?

I’ve heard all about their parties… and the fact that BRK brings the beer each time says it all, doesn’t it? Yeah, we weren’t fooled by the recent, ahem, ‘controversy’, that’s one of them, whatdya call it, ‘beards’ dont’cha know. We hear he’s mighty close to Hobbes, is what I’m sayin’.

But that wasn’t enough. Then they went and teleported all that lime green jello into the Paladin swimming pool during the Argent Tournament, causing Jong to ruin his best thong.

Okay, that was pretty funny, I’ll give ’em that. I understand Jong didn’t even have anything else to put on for the party, since when he wears his plate, he goes commando, baby.

Not that the ladies were complaining, from what I understand. I wouldn’t know, I’ve been banned from that shindig ever since the infamous three week long marathon “All You Can Eat BLT” scandal during the ’09 Tournament.

Ahem. Moving on.

Now, THIS is the last straw!

Those dang Mages have gone and created their own secret communications network, dedicated to spreading their secret plans for world domination and recipes for jello shots!

Well, I ain’t standing by any longer, doing nothing while the New Mage Order works on overcoming the inherent Druid immunity to Polymorph. 

No, I won’t go silent into that terrible night! I’ll shout the news from the rooftops!

Go! Take yourself to their secret network, and read everything you may find. Make copies of their plans, and spread the news far and wide! Let it be obscured no longer!

Make sure EVERYONE knows about those Mages and where they go… our lives, our safety, even our sacred honor depend on it!

Just say NO to Bear Sheeps!

13 thoughts on “Beware the New Mage Order!

  1. Ohhhh Bear!

    As we Mages say…

    “We love ewe guys”


    Just thought I’d take time out from BBQing Kangaroos, prawns (don’t know why ewe guys call ’em shrimp, we breed them big downunder), and crocodiles (had enough shark for lunch) while here in the the sunshine of Queensland to tell you that.

    We’ve already got polymorph cat… Working on owl(kin) and bear as we speak… But you’d have to sign up to discover the inner workings of the Mage Council and our plans for Warlocks come cataclysm.


  2. Thats some good quality shameless advertising…. you should do this for a living 3B 😛

    And yes, Im proud to be a druid so those filthy mages cant turn me into their sex toy /cast prowl


  3. Sadly I am unable to share what insider knowledge I have into the machinations of mages. I, being married to one, am privy to many a thing, but closely monitored at the same time.


  4. @ Minos – I discovered only recently that bears stay in form when they have the rocket packs attached during the Gunship Battle in ICC … how cool is that?! (I normally heal with my priest in there).


  5. I could do with the more cosmetic transformations being more resilient to shapeshifting. It makes me sad that things like Savory Deviate Delight, the Hallow’s End costumes, and Dire Brew are mostly wasted on us ferals.

    Transformations that still apply while in flight form are the best. Watch out for low-flying dwarves!


  6. Hey, Gnomer buddy… when you asked me to mention the Mana Obscura forums… was this kinda what you had in mind?


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