The Return of AnnCoulter!

Coming off the levity of the last post, I thought the time was right to bring back a little serious discussion.

Thus, may I present to you…

The Return of AnnCoulter!!!

The real AnnCoulter

I was just sitting there last night, perusing my charts and spreadsheets for Rogue gear and specs, and it occured to me…


So, I resurrected my poor, lost, abandoned Hunter.

I know why it happened. When I transferred to Horde side, I had a newfound fascination with all things Hordie.

In the time that has passed, I’ve grown to love the Horde culture in a way I never thought I would (except for those damn Undead, anyway), but still… something was missing.

That something was my Hunter.

With a new feeling of enthusiasm, I returned to the Alliance, dusted off my hunter, and checked out her gear.

Damn… my Rogue’s only been 80 a week, and she’s already got a better ranged weapon than my Hunter. That’s embarassing. HPoS hoeeeee!!!!!

 I did more than just randomly start tearing up the Heroics, however.

I actually ventured into the realm of Elitist Jerks, to see if there is any love to be found there for Beastmasters.

You cannot imagine my joy at finding that Rosamonde/Florimel has been doing more than just keep it alive… she’s even updated the main BM thread with the latest ‘taken out of context’ quote by Ghostcrawler.

You know the one… the one the asshats grabbed ahold of to show why Blizzard agrees with them not to allow BM into their reindeer games.

You know…

“The only specs we really failed on in LK raiding were Frost mage, Subtlety rogue, BM hunter and Arms warrior.” — Ghostcrawler.

Well, Rosamonde is certainly keeping the torch held high in the Elitist Jerks community. And she links to several other resources helpful as well.

I read everything in her main thread, I studied specs, some spreadsheets, checked out MaxDPS, did a little more reading, and then went out and changed a Glyph, modified my spec, and started making a list of potential upgrades.

But now… now I have an interesting decision to make.

On the one hand, I’ve got Voytek the Spirit Beast Bear, my staunch and true companion, whom I dearly love. And I really enjoy taking him with me to instances, and just bumming around with me in general.

I also don’t really care what my DPS is, as far as being a hundred up or down where I *could* be. You know what? In the real world, boys and girls, we accept the human factor into our estimates. The human factor… such as knowing I’m more liable to blow my DPS due to leaving Viper on for half a boss fight than I am because I ain’t using a MM or SV spec.

You can talk all you want about optimum potentials, the reality is, the human factor means if I screw up for one second, all that potential is out the window. It also means that my judgment is called into play. Is it better to keep mindlessly burning through my rotation, or do I go off the GCD to drop a Freezing Arrow on an incoming Rifleman in Heroic Halls of Reflection?

There is more to the game than rotations slavishly adhered to, and I’m sorry, but sub-optimal spec or not, I’ll take my judgment over most of the players I get grouped with and take my chances on the final results of the Damage Meters, thanks.

So, all that being said… the Elitist Jerks thread says that Devilsaurs are the highest damage Ferocity pet available to me.

Sure, I ain’t all hung up on DPS…

But I just so happen to HAVE a Devilsaur in my Stable.

Ahem. AnnCoulter, come on out of your kennel!

Damn, AnnCoulter may be ugly, and her skin is hideous, and those fangs are just nasty, and that breath! Whoof!

But boy, she can sure bring a smile to my face when I zone into an instance, can’t she now?

There’s just something that warms the cockles of my Conservative soul by saying, “All right AnnCoulter, go git ’em!”

Hey, just because I’m a political conservative doesn’t mean I can’t have a sense of humor. Nor does it mean I want Sean Hannity or Ann Coulter on my side in any debate over ideas you’d care to name. I still prefer to think of them both as liberal plants.

Anyway, this means I’ve got a tough choice.

Do I go with my buddy Voytek in my instance runs, the big soft cuddly bear, or do I bring out the most vicious, nasty, hideous fanged beast in existence to unleash upon my opponents?

Decisions, decisions.

23 thoughts on “The Return of AnnCoulter!

  1. Love it.

    In honor of this post I have renamed my crocodile Nancygrace.
    She even comes equipped with ‘Bad Attitude’.


  2. LMAO!! I love what you named your dino! Once my tiny dwarf hunter twink has enough talents, Imma tame one of my own! Not sure what I’ll call it yet, however. If people get so worked up over a pet -in a VIDEO GAME- being named after a(n) (in)famous person, they honestly have a problem, NOT YOU. Shrug those kinda people off and just enjoy life, it’s too short to sweat the small stuff. =)


  3. This whole thing is kinda awesome in a strange way. I can honestly say I don’t have a single friend that is conservative. But as you know I am an avid reader and supporter of your blog. It is good for me to realize that someone can be both conservative and admirable at the same time. Thanks for opening my eyes a little. Oh course I belive that Limbagh and Beck should be publicly casterated, but that is another discussion.
    Love you Bear,


  4. As another voice out there you might find “interesting” is Neal Boortz. Neal has way of just about pissing off everyone. Though I really miss hearing Judge Andrew Napolitano on the radio, such a strong Libertarian and common sense guy.


  5. I love my BM hunter with all my heart as well, but Im not allowed to raid in that spec. Performance is as good as any other DPS class in 5-mans though, your really not gimping anyone, plus you can off tank mobs that your PUG failtank lets chew on the healers.
    On the pet side though, big red devilsaur gets pretty damn big, may annoy your fellow purgers. 🙂


  6. BBB this is response to your comment about politicians in general (which I whole-heartedly agree with).
    Many years ago I read a book called “Dark Horse: by Fletcher Knebel. Without going into detail it was about a candidate for the Presidency who was supposed to just be a throw-away candidate. Anyway one of my favorite parts of his platform was that the draft age was to be moved to forty, he figured that way the people who start the wars get to fight’em. Cool idea


  7. I’m glad you are going Beast Master. I’m a hunter and when I first started doing heroics I’d be upset to see another hunter with a turtle or bear or wasp. It felt like the first clue to cluelessness. It’s changed for me over time, I still run MM with a wolf but I really don’t care what pet another hunter brings.
    I think some bring their turtles to heroics because they are trying to dampen some of their dps potential and not yank aggro off a tank with a crit.
    At this point in the game, I believe everyone is relaxing a little bit; the anxiety of accomplishing the goals are loosening and players are much more confident.


  8. well, considering that coulter is kinda a dinosaur, it fits…

    anyhow, just about all my toons are named after SCOTUS judges, or other prominent legal figures.


  9. Added on 8/18/10: You know, I realise in hindsight that the last couple of paragraphs are a little vague on my meaning. So let me be clear on this, to really alienate my readers.

    I consider myself a financial conservative in the American political environment.

    I also consider both Republican and Democratic parties to be morally and ethically bankrupt, and I’d love to see every politician on both sides of the aisle lined up against a wall and shot for treason against the interests of the American public, a charge I think is factually accurate.

    I despise Ann Coulter, and I think Sean Hannity is a scumbag. I believe both of them say what they say, in an intentionally confrontational tone of rhetoric, without believing their own bullshit, in order to garner headlines and make money of the more conservative right side of the American public that are starved for an alternative to what I feel is a liberal-dominated media environment.

    I enjoy hearing the oratory skills of Rush Limbaugh, the tones of his voice sooth me, but then again, I’m a big boy and I don’t just listen slavishly to what anyone says and go ‘ditto, ditto’. I make up my own damn mind after hunting for more facts. I can listen to him without buying what he or anyone else is selling. I sort of like Glenn beck, a little, I think he really does believe in what he says, but he can also get on my nerves like you wouldn’t believe.

    So, in short… I’m a conservative, but that doesn’t mean that I agree with everything or anything any politician says, or any talking point on either side.

    There is an old saying, decades old, ” A Choice not an Echo” old… “Anyone under the age of 21 that isn’t a liberal has no heart… and anyone over the age of 21 who isn’t a conservative has no brain.”

    I like to think of that as being the tipping point between leading with your emotions and charging forward to tilt against windmills with the energy and enthusiasm of youth, and the latter years of growing older, and wiser, and taking the time to really think things through.


  10. Thank you for writing this BBB! It’s made a world of difference to me. I’ve recently come off a 5 month hiatus, having plateaued as a Hunter and Bear, and I’ve been torn about my hunter. Do I not be a “nub” and stay with MM, or do I give in to want I WANT to be… a Beast Master! I was so disillusioned after the “optimal” DPS numbers from, EJs posts and what not that I was just crushed. But you are right! We don’t play in an optimal environment, we have to make decisions, and we need to be that toolbox for our parties! Let’s have our pets matter, instead of placing them into the roll of DPS buff, or accessory!

    Also, I have to say, as someone who sits on the other side of the isle, seeing “AnnCoulter” above your Devilsaur in that picture had me almost in tears! It’s great to see someone have a sense of humor about this sort of thing! You’ve inspired me to rename my whole stable after political pundents. May I suggest the KeithOlbermann Wasp, or the AlFranken Worm?


  11. Another important reason to use the Devilsaur is that the pet size bug hasn’t been completely eradicated. It’s becoming more rare (or maybe it’s just that fewer hunters are going around with tamed elites), but sometimes the client will render your devilsaur at its original pre-taming size. Add to that the growth from Monstrous Bite and the others in your party may see a truly huge dinosaur.


  12. If it were me, I’d go with AnnCoulter. The big soft cuddly bear is no doubt a wonderful pet, and one that you would happily spend your days playing with.

    But I doubt it can strike fear into your opponents like AnnCoulter can, roaring as she charges, her fierce eyes locked on her prey. When you’re going to war, you bring your meanest, ugliest dog, not your beloved companion.

    Also, the thought of giving Ann a Kill Command (“AnnCoulter, KILL!”) makes me giggle uncontrollably. 🙂


  13. My husband is actually a BM hunter and frequently out DPS’s other DPS (especially other hunters) in raids. Unfortunately people take one look at his spec and usually kick him before he even gets a chance, but he loves it anyway. Hoorah for exotic pets and awesomeness! Also, he uses spirit beasts because they look cool lol.


  14. Palinden… oh god, that hurts. That really hurts.

    I think that her greatest damage is done in any Franken straightforward debate.


  15. On the one hand, I’m sad you’re from the other team, BBB. on the other, it gladdens my heart that you agree with me about Hannity and Coulter.

    That said, I say take the evil creature into instances. AnnCoulter will scare the living bejeezus out of even Arthas. 😀


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