Fear the Butt!

It’s a most wonderful time, for tank gear. Drink beer? TANK GEAR!

I have been having a wonderful time using this patch gear reset to get my Druid built back up while I could still ride the power curve, and be on par with the DPS I see.

By using my other DPS characters and the enjoyable way we can get Valor Points now, (omg, instances that aren’t agonizing slog fests of misery in the name of Valor! Who woulda thunk it?) I was able to get some BOE items from the VP vendor that sent my Druid over the moon in delight.

The drops in the new instances are plentiful in general, although chasing that one particular upgrade can still bring that pain we know so well.

Overall, gearing a Bear tank has been a pleasure.

At least, until tonight.

I did the LFR first wing earlier in the week, and I was fortunate enough to get a Tier token. Ah yes, even better tanking gear! So wonderful!

I went into some random Twilight instances, and had a lot of fun. I even did one as pure random, all by myself for the Satchel reward, and it went smoothly. How interesting, to see firsthand groups of random strangers in the freshest content, and the things they STILL do when running and gunning on the go go go. 

And hold my own easily, rather than struggling.

And then I entered the second wing of LFR. I downed Deathwing on my Druid tonight, and I won the most prized item that we as Bears could ever wish for… Kiril, Fury of the Beasts.

Oh yeah, you know it.

In the last content release, we had the Firelands, and what many of us thought was the ultimate gift for the Feral Druid, Fandrals’ Flamescythe.

Although not documented on the tooltip, using the Flamescythe in kitty form would have the chance to transform you into a flamecat.

How cool is that, yes?

Ah, but cool as that is, it benefits not the dedicated Bear, the big butted ones who toil endlessly for the tanking satisfaction of him or herself.

Check out the tooltip on Kiril, though, if you please.

Your melee and ranged attacks have a chance to trigger Fury of the Beast, granting 95 Agility and 10% increased size every 1 sec.  This effect stacks a maximum of 10 times and lasts 20 sec.

Fury of the Beast. Note there, where it says “stacks a maximum of 10 times”, please. Get it? Got it. Good!

I am here to tell you that the Big Bear Butt exists, and it is a massive posterior indeed.

Oh, and it has enhanced armor. Err, the weapon, not the butt.

Well, the butt has enhanced armor too, but… ah hell, thank you again, Blizzard. Merry Christmas to you too!

A few things to note, here.

First, from the moment the first tick of the effect begins, your 20 secs overall begins. Each additional stack you gain does not extend the overall time. Each stack takes a second to build, so it i a progression, not an explosion. It takes you 10 seconds to gain maximum buttitude, visibly increasing butt size every step of the way, and then you get to enjoy it for ten more seconds at max power.

At which point, after going hard for ten seconds, we experience…. shrinkage.

There IS an internal global cooldown on the effect, which seems to be about 45 seconds after the effect wears off. Maybe it’s 40 seconds, giving you the effect once a minute, but I need to do some testing to see how consistent it is, and where it really lies. 

One thing is certain. As you attack a single target, such as a boss, you can clearly see each second as your butt gets bigger, and bigger, and BIGGER, until you are what I have already come to think of as ‘normal size’.

I call it that, because when I’m in the middle of a scrum, mobs all about, players darting around, I don’t notice the effect begin. I find myself wondering, “Am I big right now or not? I seem quite normal.”

And then, all of a sudden, “Oh shit, little bear!”

When things get going in a crowd, I notice the buff more when I experience that sudden shrinkage, and find myself wishing wistfully for a butt that was big. 

This… this is why you wake up in the morning glad to be a Bear tank. For moments like this.

For all of you that still live the life of the Bear, I pray you take this gift that Blizzard has given for us, accessible to ALL in the current Looking For Raid functionality, I pray you take the chance, hit the raids, stay with it until you win that staff, and enjoy!

Many of us may never expect to see a raid team enter and clear the Firelands, or get the Fandrals Flamescythe drop. You have to raid with your guild, or be part of a raid group that forms and have the time.

But all of us truly have the same opportunity to get this magnificent weapon, and for that I can’t thank Blizzard enough.

Aww, look at that cute little warrior there. Kind of looks taken aback by the size of the butt, eh?

And how about that Dwarven Priest. That there is a whole lotta bear, right there. Look ma, I cain’t be fat, I still fit in tha bubble! Err, all except for that enormous butt.

The butt can’t fit in the bubble. Tank with my face?

Tank with my face, my butt.

….. exactly!

But in conclusion, I would like to say, it has not gone unnoticed that even at this late date…

It’s STILL all Hunter loot.

7 thoughts on “Fear the Butt!

  1. I play a kitty on my druid, and while I never had a chance at the flamescythe, I loved this polearm!

    When I become a huge kitty, the other people around look like mice in comparison.

    When someone asks, I just tell them “Oh, when I get excited I become bigger in size. :)”


  2. Drink a Elixir of Giant Growth or Winterfall Firewater or use Vrykul Drinking Horn with it, you will enjoy the even bigger butt!


  3. I won that on my hunter this week. And it does seem to proc about once every 45 to 50 seconds. The only annoying thing? Getting OUT of a bunker in AV with the buff on. It’s amusing when it procs during beastial wrath, however. RAR! Big red hunter!


  4. Gratz on the polearm! Two dropped for me in my LFR this week…. and I won both! So then I made the hunters and a feral roll to see who got it. It unfortunately went to the hunter… at least even if it has that little hunter tag on it with the proc is it more than a stat stick for them (and I probably won’t even feel bad if I win it when I get my hunter up to max level)

    I haven’t tanked with it yet (Fall of Deathwing took me to my VP cap for the week – so onto other toons) – but I have spent a bit of (mostly) kitty time in Alterac Valley over the weekend… and hitting up the target dummy while waiting for the queue to pop. My favourite moment so far was helping a guildie get his Winterveil hat in Heroic Nexus – I popped out of form to heal up completely dwarfing his little gnomish form as a giant night elf – I wish I was quicker on the screenshot.

    The only problem with the growth is your visibility when inside (i.e. defending towers in AV)… kind of hard to see your enemies when all you can see is your giant bear butt!

    But likewise I love that this is accessible. I’ve wanted firekitty all through the last patch. I’ve killed Staghelm once in the whole patch cycle and it dropped… but I was healing on my paladin. I joined a pug up to majordomo that didn’t manage to down him… however I will keep trying (particularly since you can combine the two – proc the fire kitty then switch weapons and grow to giant fire kitty!) You can also use some of the other things that make you grow and they stack to ultra-huge bears… I’ll have to play around at some point!


  5. Heh. I’m a kitteh first, so I never want to give up my beloved Flamescythe, even if I transmogrified it at the first opportunity to something not so dorky looking. You turn into the fire cat when you’re in combat AND you’ve done direct damage (swipe will not trigger it). You can also rightclick it for a temporary change with a four hour cooldown.

    But I want that staff too. Someone needs to come up with a mod that plays a balloon deflating sound when the effect wears off… something like this.
    The firekitteh commands it!

    Any chance of getting a screenshot with a BIG Bear butt and a regular bear butt at the same time? (Duel a bear without the staff and smack him until you’re full size, sort of thing)


Comments are closed.