Oh Garrosh Hellscream No!

Some of you who have been with me for the very longest time know that what to think if I were to say “Oh John Ringo No.”

I don’t have to say any more, now do I?

Oh, and if you haven’t read Princess of Wands, seriously, what’s stopping you? Go read it, it’s an awesome standalone book. I’m not in it so it’s missing 100% in awesome bears, but other than that, it’s brilliant. As I’ve said before.

Today, I read my Warchief’s Command Board, and through the tears and the pain and the howling cries, all I could think was, “Oh Garrosh Hellscream NO!”

I would hereby like to nominate Garrosh Hellscream as writer of my favorite humor post of the year 2012. If someone else thinks they can top that, good luck and pack a lunch, you’re gonna have to camp that shit all day.

Well done. Just flat out well done.

I laughed, I cried, I fell down. It changed my life. The end. 


The Silent Counterstrike

I’ve noticed something unusual, and I’ve sat on it for a while, but I think it’s time to act.

There is a saying; “Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times it’s enemy action.”

Well, we’re up to five now. By the Auric scale, we’re definitely at enemy action.

It’s no secret I enjoy playing alts. I’m one of those folks that may have one or two characters I flat out love, those being my Feral Druid and BM Hunter, but I play lots of alts.

With the advance of Looking For Raid, there has been an added venue for play. Ding level 85, gear for new Heroics, run until decked and then hit LFR for polish.

At this point in time, I’ve got five characters at level 85, and all of them are pretty damn solid in LFR gear; Druid, Hunter, Warrior, Paladin, Rogue.

My Priest is at 83, and my Death Knight Bear and Cub character is 81, so those are next in line. Don’t ask if I’m going to train my 9 year old son to play in LFR if you don’t think you’d like the answer. Just pray his DPS isn’t THAT much better than yours. 🙂

Still, five characters I have geared up 100% through LFR Dragon Soul random groups rather than traditional raiding.

Here is what I’ve noticed and reported on before.

During the initial LFR rollout, you had a period of uncertainty. People were not yet fully accustomed to the idea that they could roll Need on anything they wanted with little to no concequences. So, there was a fairly reasonable chance for at least the first month of winning something as other players that had already won an item would pass.

After that began the period where some groups would begin running together and rolling on everything so they could pass it to a friend in their group that wanted it (enhancing chances), and also the Monty Haul scenario where people would roll on absolutely everything, to acquire trade goods so they could make a deal later for what they really wanted.

That seemed to be the period we were in now. Some folks bring decked out characters chasing that one item, others bring new alts looking for everything, and it often seems that every roll finds you competing against every single player, and nobody passes unless they have no chance of winning due to spec or class.

It can feel like if you did not get the actual highest roll out of 25 people, then you’ve got no chance. Greed and avarice have won. Blizzard has even unveiled new LFR loot rules for MoP that make it clear they are acting as though there is nothing to be done short of a scorched earth doctrine on the existing system.

My experiences over the last month to five weeks are leading me to believe we are seeing a silent counterstrike acting against the “need on everything” culture, working from the shadows.

Five times now, on different characters, the following has taken place;

I run, I do my best. I don’t have the worst gear in the group overall, I certainly don’t have the lowest DPS. There are one or two specific items I would like. During the run, as loot drops I pass on it, until finally one boss drops a piece of loot I have specifically wanted. Everyone rolls, I lose the roll with my number somewhere in the middle of the range. We move on to another boss.

Shortly thereafter, without warning a trade window is opened, and the piece of loot is placed there. No conversation, nothing. I accept, and whisper back my thanks and appreciation. The person then says something along the lines of, “No problem, I didn’t need it and you looked like the person who could use it the most.”

This has happened to me now five times, different people and different items for different alts.

Is it a sweeping trend? Maybe not. Have you seen it yourself? Probably depends on how many alts you’re gearing through LFR compared to actual raiding with a raid team and getting real loot.

But again. Once, sure. Twice, huh. Three times or more? I take note.

I like the idea of a silent revolt against greedy needy players. People who are nice people, and at the same time aren’t all confrontational yelling at other people in raid chat about taking things they already have one of and all that stuff.

People who may have just decided that if others will need for selfish reasons, they can need for charitable reasons. 

Yes, it does put another player in the position of winning an item and then having the power to decide who, in their opinion, ‘deserves’ the item most. That could be a hot little topic for debate, right? How do you decide who ‘deserves’ the loot?

Overall though, I think it’s a delightful idea, one that is worthy to discuss.

We talk about other people rolling need on stuff they don’t have a use for. How interesting that there are folks out there that have looked at the situation and decided for themselves to take a stand, but do it in a decidedly non-confrontational way.

It would take more work, but I have to admit, it’s making me reconsider my ‘pass on all unless I actually need it’ policy.

I might just start playing Secret Santa myself.

What do you think?

Dedicated to my Maintenance Homies

For all of you that, like me, spend your lives getting called to someone’s side to fix their shit for them, because something “just happened, I didn’t do it, it just happened”, this is for you, my brothers and sisters.

The Equipment Operator Song;

All I ever do is bitch and pout,
I start up the machine and then I shout,
“Will somebody come and help me out,
I fucked up the machine and I can’t figure it out.”

Let slip the Bears of War

As you may have seen Gnomer mention in a few posts, I might have maybe sorta played some PvP this last weekend.

Gnomer, Keredria and the Pugnacious Priest along with many others from their guilds did some pre-made xrealm Arathi Basin over the weekend, and were kind enough to invite me along. I went willingly… on my Druid.

I know, right? I understand my PvPing on a druid is considered canon as the 13th sign of the eschaton. Sorry about that, just remember to use cocoa butter oil based sunscreen. It doesn’t protect you any better, but you will be tastier when fried in a lake of fire. Just trying to help!

As a non-raiding player of World of Warcraft, I have surprisingly good PvE gear thanks to LFR. I’ve had some really lucky rolls, I’ve invested in 397 Valor gear, and I optimized everything… for tanking.

When I go into LFR, I do 22k DPS, but all of my gear was gemmed, enchanted and reforged for Bear tanking. I just use a kitty DPS spec for my offspec, switch to DPS trinkets, and go for it.

Yes, it is gimping the LFR raids. At the same time, I only tank for friends, and I feel that right now 22k DPS is adequate. Or, as Shadowson would say, “Do the bosses still die? Right then, whats the problem?”

What this ends up meaning is, when I went PvPing without resilience gear, I had a gazillion Dodge Rating up the furry old butt, high Stam, and a kitty DPS spec. I wasn’t really a glass cannon, I’d say I was closer to ceramic.

The evening was fun. As Keredria said, playing with a bunch of folks with exotic accents is cool, it does bring home the international flavor of the experience. I didn’t know how long people intended to go, but I lost myself in killing Horde until Cassie tapped me on the shoulder and told me it was time to get my son to bed. I blinked, and realised three hours had blown past.

Time is so elastic. It compresses to get tons of things into a blink of the eye while killing, and then uncoils into slomo when waiting at the spirit healer for a rez again DAMNIT.

To be clear, no I do not recommend Bear gear with Cat spec as a good alternative to PvP gear. But it did aid me in burning down the squishies, and you’re supposed to kill the healers first, right?

My favorite moment of the evening was in one of our last Battlegrounds.

The others in the group, being professional BG gankers, had these addons that analyzed the opposing force structure.

Gnomer comes over vent, “Bugger, they’ve got nine healers!”

Holy crap. I can’t even remember if we won or lost. What I do know is that it was like fighting cockroaches, they just would not die. Stomp, stomp, stomp, NO DIE! Damnit, why won’t you die?

Gnomer mentioned I was working on a Shaman and he came and helped out. Let me elaborate on that for a moment.

We were fighting around Blacksmith, and there was a nice big scrum going on. I did the whole Prowl prep to Pounce thing, looking around for a healer to gank. Sadly, this was a target rich environment for healers.

I picked out a Shaman, on the grounds that this Shaman was chain casting and using totems and acting as a force-multiplier, and if I could take the group-buffing totems out of play for a few, that would be a net asset to the offense.

So I pounced and stunned and stuff. I went to town attacking that Shaman. The Shaman didn’t move, just kept casting.

So I kept attacking. Boom, boom, boom, down to 75k, then back topped off. Boom, boom, boom, then back up.

I stopped running and bouncing around. The Shaman wasn’t trying to evade in any way. Just stood there, chain casting and taking it. So I settled in, got all nice and comfortably positioned for an all day camping trip, and proceeded to use every tool at my disposal built around Skull Bash in an effort to kill the Shaman before she could heal herself back to full.

I failed. Completely and utterly failed.

What blew my mind was this turned into a private war at Blacksmith. Neither of us was moving, I was 100% offense, she was 100% defense, and it was total stalemate. Nobody came to kill me to get me off her, she didn’t try to run away, and when I finally mentioned in vent that this Shaman was pissing me off, Gnomer came to add his explosive contribution to the battle.

We still couldn’t close escrow, because that just meant one of the Horde Priests started dropping heals on the Shaman in passing while running around healing other people.

Grrr! Impressive. Very impressive.

In the process of talking about how much fun that was, I had a simple question on Twitter yesterday.

Since we were able to do xrealm RealID BG pre-mades with ten people by timing the queues, is it possible to do xrealm RealID Alliance vs Horde pre-mades?

To be blunt – is it possible to field a Horde blogger vs Alliance blogger pre-made BG match?

Lassirra and Gnomer and a few others seem to think that it is.

Wouldn’t you just love to see PvP bloggers on Horde and Alliance face off in a BG for bragging rights? Beyond that, wouldn’t you love to join one side or the other and take part in the big fat kill?

I hope this takes off. I really do. I’d love my chance to die at the hands of some of my favorite writers, and I’d like to see what kind of rivalries could spring from this… at least so long as people keep their perspective and a sense of humor.

The Marvelous Butts of Disney

My family and I recently took a vacation trip of a lifetime to Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida.

We did visit many parks in Orlando, including Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Hollywood Studios and the Animal Kingdom.

As you might imagine, we took a lot of pictures while we visited the various parks and resorts.

Cassie took many beautiful photos. They turned out wonderfully. Gorgeous sights and scenery suitable for all ages.

You don’t get to see those here.

You see, I took some pictures too.

Mine, you DO get to see.

I hereby present to you a Big Bear Butts view of the Marvelous Butts of Disney.

Let’s start off with those two rascally chipmunks, Chip and Dale. As you can see, these two were difficult to capture in the wild, although I tried several different angles, they defended their butts from direct viewing with skill and artistry. In the end, good solid profiles was the best I could arrange. I salute my opponents, and wish them well.


We will follow that gentle start with a look at the posteriors of those lovable toys from Toy Story. You’d think these would have been difficult, but I managed to get them all nailed to the wall. Oh yes, I got them, my pretties and their little horse, too.


Now I think it’s time to move over to the heroic side of Disney, with a few of my favorites from The Incredibles. Mrs Incredible was justifiably proud of her butt, but Frozone definitely stole the show with his butt shaking in the parade. He had all the moves, and I had a front row seat.


Now, rather than continue with specific themes, I’m going to assault your vision with butt after butt until you must stop and cry, ‘Enough!’


Whew! That was a lot of butts. Lumiere in particular was a pain in the… well, it was hard to get a crack at his… oh, heck, let’s just say the picture ain’t the greatest.

We ain’t done yet, though! I may be biased, but I saved the best butts for last.

I hereby present, in living color, the wonderful Big Bear Butts of Disney! Oh yeah, I went there.

I am particularly proud of the Baloo bear butt picture. I had to go deep into the jungle of The Animal Kingdom to go through the bushes and get behind that bear. Baloo was one heck of a difficult target to attack from the rear, JUST as you would expect from a highly skilled bear. In the end, this here Big Bear Butt got him, well, in the end.

I’ve got just a few last words on this project, I hope you’ll bear with me a moment.

First, this wouldn’t have been possible without the willing, nay EAGER assistance of my 9 year old son, Alex. He went that extra mile to keep on the lookout for butt shot opportunities, and yes, it turns out he is a crack shot indeed. He is directly responsible for there being any shot of Chip and Dale, and he actually called to my attention the wonderful opportunity to catch Eeyore in a vulnerable moment.

Cassie also contributed mightily to this project, indeed I’d say her perfect capture of the Lots O Huggin Bear was nothing short of spectacular.

Finally, I’d like to say that, while Alex went to great lengths to aid me in capturing the Butts of the Disney Princesses, going so far as to approach from one side for autographs so I could take pictures from the rear, in the end I could not in good conscience include them here.

In my opinion, it is one thing to take pictures in theme parks of anonymous actors in full body costumes and place them in a humourous suggestively-themed article. They are there for their pictures to be taken, and there is no way to identify the actor or actress within the costume. It’s something else entirely to take pictures of people who are merely wearing makeup and dressed in nice clothes, even if that makeup and those clothes are intended to resemble a famous character. They are still identifiable people, and portraying real people in any way other than respectfully wasn’t where I wanted to go with this.

So, no you don’t get my pictures of the butts of Snow White, Cindarella, Belle, Ariel, Mary Poppins or Alice.

But… they do exist. And isn’t the knowledge of their existing enough?

I think so.

Have a wonderful week, my friends, and enjoy imagining the kind of searches that will be bringing new readers to my door.

Just Because I Had A Great Week

You ever hear someone say that people are people all over, and talk about how our parents or grandparents got up to the exact same things we all seem to think we invented? But you don’t believe them. These are OLD PEOPLE, and heck, they must have been born old and dull, right? Just like the modern generation invented drugs, alcohol, gambling, tattoos, rebellious secret languages and wild sex.


Okay, my sarcasm is being noted, but you’re still not buying the premise.

How about this.

Youtube or social media used to rant in the community about the boss you hate or the job you’ve got that sucks.

We invented social media, right? Our generation owns that. It’s our invention, those old fogies our parents weren’t smart enough or cool enough or radically crazy enough to shout their frustration across the entire geographical area for all time like we do. They may have invented those other things, but we’re the ones that took them and ran with them. They just didn’t have the imagination.


Ahem. Bullshit.

Check this out. 🙂

Warning… turn speakers on, and NSFW!!!