I have an announcement to make!
I have attained another level in my ‘adult’ base class by becoming a strong adopter of hot morning beverages.
In other words, I now drink coffee more than anything else, all morning long. Just like my parents, and my grandparents, and so forth.
Now, my beverage of choice is coffee, but I’m not going to be elitist about this. While I myself haven’t gone for one of the prestige classes built around Latte or Chai Tea, and I haven’t taken the disadvantage “Expensive Name Brand Vendor Only” in order to qualify for a higher social standing prestige class, I can appreciate what a delightfully diverse culture the hot morning beverage crowd has become.
Still. For me, it’s all about the coffee.
Coffee like you get in the generic can, with the color dot that says “not too strong, not too light, straight down the middle like a wuss afraid to fight”.
I’m interested in branching out, I keep an open mind. I’m not prejudiced, I like experimenting with the occasional Celestial Seasonings blend, a Mocha or a Latte, just for a taste of something different.
Seasonal coffees like Pumpkin Spice on a cold winter morning, mmmmm, yummy.
I found the Cinnamon-flavored coffee was amazing. It won my heart, yes it did.
I went back to get cases to stock up, only to find it gone without a trace. No location code, no shelf space, and the store has never carried it again.
It has become the Coffee That Must Not Be Named. Truly, it’s flavor was good, but now that I cannot have it, it has become that most exquisite of tastes, exotic and mysterious, never to be equalled.
I think, in fact, that the reason it was pulled was because it was too seductive.
It posed a threat to our modern American way of life. Homeland Security labeled cinnamon coffee a terrorist threat, and took it away, never to be seen again. If you listen close, you can hear the rubber hoses beat the beans and smell the grounds burn under the glare of the high-intensity lights.
Coffee that good? Too dangerous for mere mortals to comprehend or consume without terrifying effects.
I don’t like to think on the horrors that poor coffee may be suffering in a cell in Gitmo.
Instead, I like to think that the cinnamon coffee I sampled and now desire above all other blends was destined for the hallowed halls of Asgard, and it was a simple UPS sorting error that sent it to lowly Aldi’s Store #78545 instead.
A terrible fate may have been averted in the nick of time. Who could say what wonders or terrors my typing fingers may have bashed out under it’s divine influence?
The world will never know. The world was not MEANT to know!
Whew! Crisis averted.
Oh, right. Coffee.
I be drinking coffee, and by coffee I mean a hot brew. I do not drink chilled coffee. To me, chilled coffee is what happens when you’re writing a long blog post, bring the cup up to take a sip, and make a face. Blech! Cold coffee. Shudder.
Nothing for it then but to prove geek cred by applying microwave radiation directly on tepid liquid, infusing pure, raw power into my beverage, power born of SCIENCE!
This post is not meant to be a passionate statement about coffee. That’s a bonus.
No, this is meant to be a message for all those like me who delight in the drinking of a nice, hot drink now and then.
While my hero Jack Reacher has his own thoughts on the perfect vessel to drink coffee from, what I like is a heavy ceramic mug, thick walled and oversized.
When we visited Walt Disney World, I saw the perfect mug, and carefully carted it back intact to our home on the other side of the country.
I have now been testing this mug. I’m not gonna endorse a mug until I’ve put it through it’s paces.
Well, I’m here to tell you, this mug is the cats meow.
I happily present to you, the Tigger Coffee Mug.
Now, I understand your concern when you see the words “oversized”.
Yeah right, heard that one before. What, it can hold a whole extra teaspoon? I need the ounces to be weighty, I have typing to do!
Allow me to reassure you. It is, indeed, oversized.
Here is my mug next to my other beverage of choice for the purposes of comparison.
There. That sucker will EAT the mountain dew can. Step off, dew, You’ve been warned.
So there you have it, my friends. When you’ve got a payload as powerful as coffee, shouldn’t you have a delivery system that shows the world you are SERIOUS about what you do?
Of course you should.