What A Long, Strange Pet Battle It’s Been

This is a pet battling, wrasslin’ post, because that’s where most of my weekend went.

Well, that and healing on my newly leveled, newly geared Holy Priest.

I would talk about healing Mogu’shan Vaults on my Priest in LFR, but shit, you’ve heard it all before, there’s nothing new there.

People continue to stand in shit and blame healers if they die, tanks still chain pull whether healers have mana or not, people REALLY continue to stand in the bad stuff no I’m not kidding, wtf, FOUR PEOPLE dropped into the pit on Elegon? REALLY?

Yeah, been there, bitched about it, nothing new here.

Ooh, wait, there is something new!

One of the people in our guild I group with a lot, Monstre, is a Death Knight that does both DPS and tank. Insane DPS, regularly over 110k, especially in AoE situations.

Monstre has been supportive of my attempts to get my Priest geared up for healing, and has tanked for me to be my little guinea pig. It’s been fun.

Now, I don’t give with any bullshit backseat tanking, but I always watch how people do things, and I’m going to compliment good skills whenever I see them, and he’s very good.

But a compliment from a friend, that’s not a testimonial to put on your tagline. you expect your friends to be supportive. All you can really do is hope they’re not lying to make you feel good.

but a compliment from a stranger… ah, that’s gold.

Cut to normal dungeons.

My son is leveling his Death Knight almost exclusively by chain running normals as DPS. He was level 87 and he has been struggling with just amazingly shit groups.

He gets the joy of waiting 45 minutes for a group to pop, and then when it does, he consistently gets groups that go through tanks and healers dropping whenever they want and groups falling apart.

I have personally watched over his shoulder to see as his group went through four tanks and various DPS and healers, with no talking, just people coming in, flailing ignorantly for a few trash pulls, then dropping.

I started watching over his shoulder because I found it hard to believe he was getting this kind of group without his doing something wrong to cause it. He had to be pulling off the tank, or dying by standing in the bad, or attacking the wrong mobs, or basically making other people leave in frustration.

Nope. It’s really just that bad out there in the evenings in random normals.

To counteract this idiocy, I’ve wanted to get my Priest up there so I could spec as heals and get him fast queue times and a solid, reliable healer who won’t abandon the group, and who should be able to keep tanks alive in normals even when they’re total idiots.

For my very first shot at this plan, I asked Monstre if he’d tank a few normals with me healing, just to pass a little time and have fun with my son.

See, it can only be for fun. You CANNOT queue for random normal instances through LFR if you are level 90. Apparently, you should not be allowed to get Justice Points through running randoms. If you want JP, run a heroic and get the dribs and drabs from boss kills.

I’m SO GLAD you need massive amounts of Justice Points along with the original Heirloom item in order to get the upgraded Heirloom items. SO GLAD. Pfft.

Since Monstre is über with a low sense of humor, I expected him to go nuts on pulls. He can put out insane DPS, he’s got tons of gear as a tank, and we’re going into a normal? Yeah, hold on tight and mana up, you got two secs.

Monstre fulfilled expectations. The first one we hit was Mogu’shan Palace, and it was a case of Monstre running forward and pulling as much as he could before the first boss fight, AoEing it down and seeing what he could take.

So Monstre is intentionally TRYING to be a tool tank. He’s doing the chain pulling, no pause for drinking, ‘I can take it OH SHIT” style of go go go running.

Now, the funny part here is, even in all the chaos, we’re on the first full boss encounter and my son turns to me and says, “Wow, this tank is really good. He’s standing still in one place whenever he can and letting me settle in and hit the boss without having to run around chasing him like an idiot! He’s great!”


That right there says everything you need to know about what tanks are usually like in the normals, amiright?

I tell Monstre what my son said, and he replies, “Oh yeah, I used to play a Rogue, I know what it’s like when a tank goes running around like a dumbass.”


So, if you’re a tank, you know, TRY to stand in one place when possible, unless there is bad stuff under your OR THE MELEE DPS feet, so melee DPS can get it stuck in real good?

Imagine if you will that you are distracting a puissant and fell mage, and as you are holding his attention you’re giving a Rogue a chance to slip up behind and stick a dagger in his back, right between the ribs. If you insist on RUNNING AROUND LIKE A CROSSWIRED FURBY, that Rogue can’t get the perfect shot lined up. So stop it.

Um, so Pet Battles.

Lol, screw it, My next post will be about Pet Battles. And I think I’ll call it “A Day in the Life of a Holy Priest”.

12 thoughts on “What A Long, Strange Pet Battle It’s Been

  1. I have a faint idea about the tanks going all over the place with out standing at one spot , my guess is most of them are pvpers who just specced tank for quick queues and will never hit a dungeon again once they are 90. The anecdotal evidence is that I have rarely found tanks which run around like chickens with heads cut off at 90 , only in the leveling content.


  2. im not best tank in world. but I love instances. And i am gm of a very small family guild.
    I tank for alot of young kids. my familys kids. My lacerate also helps some rogues its bleed damage.
    Today i tanked for a 9 year old. who didnt do the los behind column. tho i told him too. i refused to let grp bitch at him. or name call.
    It easy run to me.
    if alex ever needs a tank and im not busy. ill pull it. It mostly what i do any way 🙂
    And i kinda miss the old runs. kinda sucks i cant que them. Just to help the up and comers


  3. Its great to see Alex picking up on all the nuances of MMO play. Its fun following you two’s journey – rediscovery through his eyes. 🙂

    BTW I intentionally ping pong all over the place if DPS keeps pulling for me. Then I try to make their lives miserable by waltzing all over the place and never letting the mobs group up. As a prot warrior, if I have solid threat, I’ll even fear bomb the mobs to make sure no cleaving occurs. 😉


    • MMO Champion is reporting that new Heirlooms are being released in patch 5.2 that are the same as the old ones, except they are still effective up to level 85. The cost? Full Justice Point price, PLUS trading in the old heirloom. So, if you don’t HAVE the old heirloom, you’d have to use the JP (or tokens or whatever) to buy that first.


      • This… this is not what I envisioned a JP sink to be. This just seems so in adequate and pointless for five levels. Now if they made heirlooms unlockable/usable x-realm, I’d be delighted to pay extra JP.


      • There is a flat out statement that heirlooms will NOT be able to be transferred cross realm this expansion. Period. You want your heirlooms on another server, put them on a character and pay to move him.


  4. I learned early on that I preferred tanks that grabbed a group, then stood still on the *far* side of the bunch and let the team blast the baddies’ backs. Turns out, that’s best for the tank, too, since melee DPS won’t trigger counters or blocks or something. It’s a simple mindset, one that I use whenever I pop Bear form and offtank. I learned that just by watching a Few Good Tanks in my very occasional dungeon run. It’s not rocket science.

    …that said, it’s really not taught by the game anywhere. That’s one thing I wish WoW did better; teach in-game. It *is* kinda intuitive, if you’re working with a tank trinity paradigm, and WoW does sorta teach that, a very little bit, but I maintain that they should have some tutorial dungeons that you play through with NPCs narrating the core basics of group play and trinity roles. That a tank can be at the level cap and still be that incompetent doesn’t speak well to the game design at some level.


  5. Monstre sounds like a fun tank. I would enjoy running with him.

    As far as “dumbass” tanks running around like chickens with their heads cut off, why is it they stop running around and always stand in the “bad” on the ground when it’s there? I’ve been running regulars a lot, healing on my druid, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this happen. On fights where there is no “bad” on the ground they keep running in circles. But, as soon as there is something to stand in you’re not supposed to they stop dead in their tracks. Very frustrating.


    • See, they think that every circle or patch under their feet is glue. So they just stand in it, because, you know, they don’t want to be known as the “glueless” tank.



    • I have a suspicion. It’s a dark, horrible suspicion that reveals how cynical I am.

      I think bad tanks are intentionally standing in the bad to spike up their stacks of Vengeance, so they get higher DPS.

      Yes, yes I do.


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