If I were the sort given to introspection, I might be worried at the direction my Warcraft gaming has taken.
I started this journey full of life and hope, an Elven Druid devoted to nature, given to the wild fury of the storm, a tiger to my foes, a stalwart bear to shield my allies.
Over the years, the journey found me seeking a companion to travel alongside, sharing each new vision we came across, me and my pet against the world, both of us excited to see what might lay on the far side of the mountains, under the cloudy skies.
But now… now, I just don’t know.
I’ve been exploring the darker side of life, playing with fire, taking my meals in the shady side of the streets. Hiding my light in the bushel of the Slaughtered Lamb, and isn’t that a creepy place to hang your hat and drink your draughts?
It’s hard to imagine sinking any lower than consorting with demons, even if your version of consorting involves some real consort-type action. What’s that? Nothing on the telly and 1-800-SUCCUBUS on the magnet by the fridge? Sounds like just another Warlock Saturday night.
Yeah, it’s hard to imagine sinking any lower than that.
It’s only hard until you’re faced with finding something to do on a Saturday night when you’re going to be a long time dead.
My Hunter looks forward to spending many a fine evening camped under the stars, massive dinosaur by his side. He will be there all summer long, a panda and his dino, toasting bacon, marshmallow and chocolate smores over the fire. The breeze feels mighty fine.
My Warlock is full of nervous energy, trying to claw and scrape her way towards power and wealth just as you’d expect. Always in sight is the need to deal death and destruction on an ever-larger scale, and when the Twin Emperors in old Ahn’Qiraj died in a millisecond this last weekend, all she could mutter was “Could’ve used a bit more oomph in the fire there. Could have cut a bit deeper. I can’t be having with any dilly-dallying on the fire.”
She’s never satisfied. Nothing is ever good enough, and a Valor Point left unearned in a week is simply unacceptable. There must always be more… more striving, more goals.
There can be no stopping until the stars themselves know what it is to wither and die beneath her crushing will.
But while she has the ambition and the will, she lacks the power to rain death and destruction on her foes at the scale she desires.
That might be a good thing, at least to everyone but her, but don’t tell HER that. She gets cranky.
As strong as her desires for destruction may be, even she pales beside the depths to which I have now sunk.
I’m dead, Jim.
I have spent the last week getting my undead groove on, aiding my sons Worgen Death Knight to take his first, fateful steps into LFR.
I say aiding, but it’s me on the reigns as he loses himself in Skylanders Giants and the new Luigi’s Mansion for the 3DS.
A dead Worgen, skeletal fleas nibbling on rotten ears, coated in a rime of frost, steeped in an unholy mixture of foul pestilence and rotting blood worms.
It doesn’t get any lower than six feet under. Does it?
Through this week, my playing has accelerated as a few horrifying truths have come clear.
Dear lord, Death Knights are so ridiculously overpowered I feel ashamed to log in.
No, wait, seriously now.
My Hunter has been on a few raids with lots of trash, and I don’t sit on my hands, mark you. I know Beastmasters are powerful on single targets, but I have still tried to support the team with the best AoE I could do.
I think my Hunter reached nearly to 99k once on the fourth boss in Heart of Fear. Once. At the peak of my iLevel 494 gear.
I ran Mogu’shan Vaults once all the way through a few weeks ago on the Death Knight, didn’t win any usable rewards. I ran it again this last week, and also worked hard to get enough Valor to purchase an iLevel 522 necklace. That finally qualified the DK to enter Heart of Fear.
Last night, I ran both halves of Heart of Fear for the first time ever, and capped the evening with the last three bosses of the Terrace.
First night even qualified to get into Heart of Fear, and that was with some crap gear cheating my way into the raid sitting unequipped in my bags.
I was worried, of course. Will my DPS be so poor that they boot me? I don’t want to be a drag on a team.
Let me put it this way.
On that fourth boss for Heart of Fear, Wind Lord Mel’jarak, I had 116K DPS, and fourth place on the chart.
That’s not a typo.
ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN THOUSAND FUCKING DEE PEE ESS.
And that is as UNHOLY. I keep hearing as to how Frost is so awesome, because y’know, Howling Blast means it has strong AoE.
That’s bullshit, that is.
It makes my power-mad Warlock weep bitter green tears, it does.
And for questing? I got Alex set up with a Blood spec, because the Dread Wastes were tough for him leveling as Unholy.
I fired the ol’ DK up as Blood and started rolling tide across the Isle of Thunder and, well, shit.
You know why I like questing as Blood DPS?
I like it because I can kill anything, I don’t have to pay attention, and I end every fight with full health.
I feel dirty.
Who knew the soil of the grave would leave me feeling so unclean?
Yeah, that’s what it is.
I was wondering aloud upon the incredibly bullshit OP nature of the Death Knight in guild chat last night, and Arrakeen remarked that there are few things in game quite as annoying as seeing a Blood Death Knight in the Brawler’s Guild, ignoring mechanics and gutting it out past the enrage timer.
I had to laugh. I think I saw the same fight.
“Oh no, you probably just saw one of many.”
You know, when a class is really overpowered, I always have just one thing to say.
Good on yer, and now let’s see some of that love spread around, all right then Blizz?
I’m sure it will last just as long as the next patch balancing, when somebody else will rise to new heights of WTFdom. It’s all good.
This trend of mine can’t continue. Where will it end?
For one thing, I can’t imagine what I would have to play to sink down any deeper than this.
I mean, I already HAVE a Hunter.
And no, I’m not race changing to Night Elf.
Or Blood Elf either, nice try.
And I absolutely draw the line at renaming him “Lolgalass”.