So, there’s this thing. It’s a staff, and its freaking legendary.
You can get it by running the Firelands raid for, well, for like forever. And then a little after that.
You may or may not know that I’ve been running Firelands every single week on Monday night with battletag friends, proving I have an understanding of the meaning of work.
If you don’t know, the formula for work is the amount of force you exert times the distance the thingie traveled in the direction you wanted it to go.
In other words, if you use all your strength to push on a rock all day long and it doesn’t move so much as a single inch, you didn’t do any work.
By that definition, I don’t get any work done at my job. Ever. That fucking boulder goes nowhere.
I’m getting lots of work done in Firelands, though. Every week we move that rock just a little closer to my goal.
I honestly believe that I will be done with the legendary quest, oh, about a week before the pre-expansion patch comes out. We’ll see if I did the math right.
You’d think I know Firelands pretty well, right? I mean, we kill all the bosses in Firelands-10 heroic mode every single week. Sometimes with six or seven of us, sometimes with just two or three.
You’d think, right?
Last night we were doing a special style of Firelands, we ran it in normal mode and focused on getting Elynea through the Delegation questline for the Legendary, gathering and charging the fragments from the first four bosses.
We completed the collecting and killed the special bonus boss, but it might have taken us a few tries to get all the stones we needed from Alysrazor.
See, here’s the thing. No, really, it wasn’t my fault, I can explain everything.
The first time we tried Alysrazor, we were all set and Elynea was raring to get her pyreshell fragments from the eggs. It seemed like the easiest boss of all to complete, because all you needed to do was grab three of those fragments, and one dropped from each egg. There are two eggs per phase, so logically we only have to do two phases of fragment gathering before setting the thing and letting it eat an explosion.
Well, Elynea might have been a tad bit too eager. Maybe. Last boss and all, you know how it is. She was very… eggcited.
There she is, standing in the middle of the area waiting for eggs to fall from the sky, and when they do she is RIGHT on top of them, reaching for the fragments.
Couldn’t actually gather the fragments, though, because there were these damn hatchlings trying to eat her, chasing her all over the place, and she couldn’t lose aggro and my was she getting frustrated at those darn tanks.
Get some aggro tanks, what the heck, amiright?
Except, ha, the hatchlings focus on whoever is the first person they see/closest person to them. They fixate on you, and think you’re the mama. Or want to eat you, whatever.
By the time we realized Elynea was spending her time running around the whole area being pecked to death by big bird, the fragments despawned.
No problem, carry on, right?
Second pass with the hatchlings, everyone but the tanks stand well the heck away from the center, and she gets her two fragments. Only one more to go!
Third pass with the hatchlings, she gets her last fragment, gets all set, waits for Alysrazor to explode… and waits… and waits… and we took too long.
Bird never did blow up.
Apparently, you gotta close escrow on the fire crow before the end of the third cycle.
Too bad we found that out after she combined the fragments and dropped it. So we have to do the whole thing over including gathering three more fragments. And wipe, too, since there ain’t no enrage timer on the big bad bird.
We die creatively (and in some cases exhaustingly), run back in, and there we are waiting to get things started.
As I’m standing there, I’m exploring my surroundings as a bear is wont to do. I’m just lookin’ around at the ground.
I see something shiny there on the ground. It’s so pretty. So shiny.
I move closer to get a better look.
Sitting there on the ground is one of Alysrazor’s feathers!
I mean, look at it. It looks really cool, right?
I look at it, and my thought process goes exactly like this.
“Wow, that’s a molten feather.”
“It’s still sitting there on the ground.”
“It must not have despawned after the wipe.”
“I wonder if I can pick it up and run fast while we wait to start the fight.”
“I like to run fast.”
“What’s the worst that can happen?”
So, just so you know, and I’m saying this in the interests of performing a valuable public service, clicking on that feather is how you start the fight after a wipe.
Go figure, huh?
Who woulda thunk it.
Yeah… I suppose that does make more sense than that a molten feather just happened to still be lying there after the wipe.
Since some people (like Elynea) didn’t happen to be in range when I clicked on that pretty little feather, maybe we might possibly had to run like hell from Alysrazor all the way to the exit of the raid and run out.
Bonus points, who here knew the hatchlings would chase you all the way to the exit portal? Pretty cool, huh?
At least Elynea completed her Delegation quest and can now begin the glory that is gathering all those damn embers.
See, doesn’t that story just make you want to join me every Monday night at 7 central time? Don’t you just wanna LEAP into action?
Oh yeah, in a heartbeat. Sign my butt RIGHT up.
Grats, Elynea! You succeeded despite my very best efforts.