Yeah, you know it. Uh huh, that’s right, you know it.
Just when everyone is choking down actual gameplay teasers being released in a flood, here I come with some non-informative post about a PUG run.
Hey, there’s only so much teaser BS a person can take in one day. You gotta have somewhere to go for a laugh, right?
Last night, I returned to the PUG for a turn or two on my Druid.
My lovely, beefy Tauren piece of awesomeness.
As a sidebar, I’d never really noticed how much I had grown to dislike the appearance of my very first, original female Night Elf character. When I started the game and chose my Druid, the male Night Elf options all looked terrible to me, and the Night Elf females looked pretty nice. I didn’t know about the whole “pole dancing” thing yet.
But the face I chose for the Druid just looked… well, vapid. Stupid. Irritatingly so. She looked like a valley girl, like, ya know?
Is it any wonder you hardly ever saw me in anything other than Bear, Cat or Tree?
But my Tauren… ah, my Tauren.
I love him so much, I want to heal in Tauren form. Screw going into Tree, I can’t see those horns!
Oops! First, let me make clear, there ARE Night Elf females I do like. I think my Nelf Hunter Windstar looks awesome. She looks both sensitive and badass at the same time. It’s not Night Elf females in general, it was the choice I made in face design for my Druid in specific. You can’t change faces in the Barbershop. Doing a faction change, for that alone, is almost worth it.
Okay, anyway, anyway. Again.
(You know I do that with my grammer just to torque Kestrel, right? Shh, don’t tell him. Oh, and now some dots, everyone loves my dots…)
((Love you, Kestrel!))
(((Damnit, I spelled Grammar right above… I better fix that… okay, fixed. Moar dots!)))
I’m in a cheerful mood, so watch out, I don’t know where I’ll be driving this bus next!
Right. Where the heck was I? Oh, yeah, right.
[Queue Keanu voice]: Woah.
So there I was last night, all horny and everything, and wanting to build up my stockpile of Emblems.
I created this Hawt Blood Elf Hunter Chick (Which is kinda like a Sexy Blood Elf Biker Chick, but with a reddish colored cat with great big fangs like this ;-<) and she’s got two Heirloom Trinkets, some sexy Heirloom PvE shoulders and a chestpiece, and this big honking double-barreled PvP Heirloom shotgun.
It’s all good, the cute off the shoulder armor with the little red vest is precious, but the shottie? That’s so, like, Dwarf, you know?
Now, if the Shotgun had some taste and refinement, if it had the finishing touches found in a nice Holland and Holland over/under combo, if it came in a fine handcrafted ebony wood case with a few bottles of Mont Blanc, well…
But no, it’s entirely too plebian. It simply will not do.
But I did see just the thing in the latest Tiffany’s collection catalog, this very well shaped Heirloom Bone Bow, that looked just the sort of thing for a Blood Elf with an eye towards style and sophistication. Perhaps with the 12 1/4″ shafted arrows with Northrend Shoveltusk ivory inlay, silver chased heads and rare black eagle feather fletching?
Yeah, those cost 65 Emblems, and my charge cards are all maxed out. And you don’t EVEN want to go there, but you know, it was Easter, all the stores had their new Spring collections out, what can you do, you know?
So anyway, that’s totally why I need Emblems right now.
Hey, let’s go on a pug!
I went into the LFD tool as a healer, because I pretty much have decided that I will only tank for friends from now on. I play for fun, or to achieve goals for other characters that are going to be fun, and being a tank for the groups I typically get just isn’t all that spiffy anymore.
I love tanking with friends, but strangers? Yeah, not so much.
On the flip side, I try to never be the person that does to other tanks what people do to drive ME to stop pugging as one. You pass it on, right?
I joined LFD, and right away got an Azjol-Nerub group. That’s a good thing, because AN is about as smooth and straightforward and fast as you can hope for in a pug, when it’s all about return on time invested. 5 Emblems, 15 minutes. Sweet!
You suspect it’s going to be one of those runs, when you don’t even have five in the group yet, and the tank has already pulled the first mobs.
You know it’s going to be one of those groups, when you just rounded the corner trying to catch up to “hopalong tankaday”, and you get a facefull of ignored Skirmisher all up in your roots.
So, yay, I self-heal through that, while tossing my HoTs around and begin getting down to serious healing. This group, tank included, are taking just a massive amount of fast damage.
Wow, what the heck?
I’m running the Gearscore addon these days, NOT to judge people’s worthiness to be in my groups, but for just this type of situation. By looking at each player’s portrait in the party, I quickly see I’ve got a Paladin tank with a 5600 Gearscore, I’ve got two players, Death Knight and Shadow Priest with 3K GS (or under, actually, both were like right on the edge of 3K) who are both in the same guild, and a Warlock at around 4K.
By way of comparison, my healing gear on my Druid is pretty solid from Emblems and Heroic PoS/FoS drops, and it’s gemmed and enchanted properly, and I’m at 4.8K GS. I’ve even got a Frost cloak. So 5600 tells me that’s someone in pretty good raiding gear, and 3K tells me a couple pretty new level 80s in mostly Blues and a few crafted Epics or drops, and 4K tells me the player is working their way up nicely.
Notice I make no judgments on skill at all here. I’m simply making assumptions on current gear level, where it may have come from, and set a few expectations on where they might be in terms of DPS and survivability.
It’s handy, as I said, specifically for situation like this. Because the tank actually says, while on the first boss, “C’mon DPS, wake up, you suck.”
Well, no, actually, considering the comparative levels of their gear, they’re doing pretty damn good. I’m very impressed with what the Shadow Priest is squeezing out of her gear, that’s a player spot on.
But okay, whatever, we’re moving too fast for me to type.
Boom, we get down to the next boss area, we’re flying along, killing, clearing, boss goes down, moving on.
We get to the two large mobs just before the last boss, and one of the players, the Shadow Priest I think, is back a ways. They haven’t caught up to us, and wonder of wonders, the tank didn’t just run ahead and pull without them.
But he DOES take the time to get bitchy in chat.
“Are you coming or what? We don’t have all day, get over here.”
I take the time to reply, “Since we’re sitting here waiting and you’re bored, how about buffing me with Kings, since you never gave anyone Paladin buffs yet?”
Yes, that’s right. A tank too lazy, too rushed or too ‘leet’ to bother buffing the group, not even doing the new standard “I’m too good to give you the buff you want, I’m giving everyone Kings” like you see most of the time these days.
I get my Kings, and he shuts up.
For now. Oh yes, for now. But there is still one more boss, and this pull will tell me something.
Gear or skill? Care or indifference? Phoning it in or in it to win it?
One pull. We’ll see.
We clear the two mobs, we all line up on the King, and the Paladin runs in to pull.
Here’s the test. How did he pull?
He ran straight forward to the boss and stopped dead right there, boss facing the entrance ramp, and stayed there.
This is the loser way to tank the final boss in Azjol-Nerub.
Whether you want to call it laziness, ignorance, or just-didn’t-give-a-shit, bad tanks run forward on the last boss and stop.
The last boss casts Pound. It has a long cast time, and when it goes off, he casts it in the direction he had originally been facing when he started casting. Well, most of the time. Sometimes he bugs and does whirl around if his main threat target is behind him, as the tank is supposed to be.
Oh, and Pound’s key characteristic is it does a shitload of damage to anyone standing within an area the shape of a cone in front of him. It’s a cone-shaped AoE.
It’s almost enough, sometimes it IS enough, to kill cloth or leather wearing players.
By running forward and stopping right there, the tank is leaving it to everyone else in the party to be aware of the mechanic, and run all the way the long way around the boss to get behind him, and during that time, of course, only instant cast spells and attacks are going off.
And if the other players aren’t aware of the mechanic, then when Pound goes off, guess what? Everyone standing somewhere in front of the damn bug king gets a big facefull of WHAM!
So, the tank ran in. Stood there. Kept the boss facing the ramp.
Not everyone ran around to the sides and back like I did. The Death Knight and Shadow Priest did, the Warlock didn’t.
The Warlock’s health plummeted to about 500, and my existing HoTs quickly pulled him back up.
The Paladin, who had run through the boss to get behind him when Pound started casting, lols in Party chat.
He did it on purpose, the worthless little prick, hoping to kill someone else.
Why? Why would someone do something like that?
The run had been smooth. The enemies all died. Nobody ran crazy. Everyone stayed on target. There was no chaos. My heals prevented sillyness and unnecessary deaths.
I tell the tank in party chat, “How about pulling the boss to face away from the party.”
He announces that you can’t move the boss after he casts Pound.
Well, he has managed to be technically accurate, while at the same time avoiding the fact I didn’t say shit about moving the boss DURING the Pound, I said move the boss to “face away from the party”.
On the second phase, sure as hell, he does it again, and the Warlock eats it again, and doesn’t die. Again, the “lol noob” rolls off the tanks’ lips.
I’m making sure that if nobody actually gets one shot, nobody dies.
Yes, not even the tank.
Phase three comes around, I’ve whispered the Warlock, and the only person that eats Pound is… the Tank. Who immediately throws a Party chat hissyfit.
He moved through the boss during the Pound cast, and the boss did his sometimes-seen bug and whirled around before it went off, nailing the tank.
Amusingly enough, the Shadow Priest, Warlock and Death Knight had all moved to the side during the cast, and didn’t eat it.
Oh, yeah, I was at the side too. Of course.
What? Hey, of course *I* know about the bug, I blogged about it a year ago. Or something like that. Back when it really hurt to get hit by Pound. Like, in Neolithic times, with the dinosaurs and shit.
The tank is hot. He ran through and got hit by Pound anyway, and that’s not fair.
Now, here is the question I have up to this point.
I’m the only one who has said a word, besides the tank, on the entire run. Not a peep out of anyone else while the tank has acted like an immature child.
Do you think the silence was due to not caring what an idiot thinks, or because they were afraid that if they said anything to show they didn’t appreciate the attitude, the tank would leave and the DPS would have a collapsed run on their hands?
Do YOU adjust your behavior, do you hold your tongue when insulted or ridiculed, so you don’t piss off your tank and maybe have him leave you in a fit of childish rage?
While you think of that, I’ll wrap the run up with a fun moment.
When the boss falls, the tank first rolls the Recount log of Damage done through Party chat, and then says, “God you all suck, I’ve got top DPS and I’m the tank.”
I immediately reply, having been primed for this bit of asshattery since the first boss, “You are a Paladin tank with a 5600 GS. The rest of the DPS has nowhere even close to your gear level, so what is your point?”
At the same time, the Death Knight says, “Well, if I was on my other character my DPS would be a little different, lol.”
The tank replies, “Well, the Warlock has 4K.”
To which I reply, “You are a complete moron. A MORON. Goodbye!”
The Warlock has 4K? This is your answer for being a dick about being a tank with the highest DPS? And a Paladin tank as well?
“Oooh, I only outgear you by 1600 gear score, how come I’m top DPS, you must all suck.”
Damnit, there are days, as I said in guild chat, where I just want to bitchslap the world.
Or, in this case, I’d like every tank with this kind of attitude to line up single file, perform a left face, and I’ll freaking ride down the line on a Harley doing 70 with my hand outstretched, to SLAP THEM ALL!!!
Do you do it? Do you eat your feelings and allow yourself to suffer indignities in silence just for the sake of not bruising a sensitive tanks’ ego, challenging his asshattedness, so that you get your run finished?
I now return you to your informative MMO Champion/Blues Tracker game announcements, still in progress.