Beware the New Mage Order!

Those dang fool Mages are at it again!

First they went and figured out a way to make it easy to travel all over the world… cornering the market on fast transport. Want a ‘port? Ten dollah. You savvy ten dollah?

Of course, that was quickly followed by their secret cross-Azerothian furry porn ring.

What? You think they learn all those Polymorph spells for nothing? Why do you THINK Sheep is the FIRST one they all learn?

I’ve heard all about their parties… and the fact that BRK brings the beer each time says it all, doesn’t it? Yeah, we weren’t fooled by the recent, ahem, ‘controversy’, that’s one of them, whatdya call it, ‘beards’ dont’cha know. We hear he’s mighty close to Hobbes, is what I’m sayin’.

But that wasn’t enough. Then they went and teleported all that lime green jello into the Paladin swimming pool during the Argent Tournament, causing Jong to ruin his best thong.

Okay, that was pretty funny, I’ll give ’em that. I understand Jong didn’t even have anything else to put on for the party, since when he wears his plate, he goes commando, baby.

Not that the ladies were complaining, from what I understand. I wouldn’t know, I’ve been banned from that shindig ever since the infamous three week long marathon “All You Can Eat BLT” scandal during the ’09 Tournament.

Ahem. Moving on.

Now, THIS is the last straw!

Those dang Mages have gone and created their own secret communications network, dedicated to spreading their secret plans for world domination and recipes for jello shots!

Well, I ain’t standing by any longer, doing nothing while the New Mage Order works on overcoming the inherent Druid immunity to Polymorph. 

No, I won’t go silent into that terrible night! I’ll shout the news from the rooftops!

Go! Take yourself to their secret network, and read everything you may find. Make copies of their plans, and spread the news far and wide! Let it be obscured no longer!

Make sure EVERYONE knows about those Mages and where they go… our lives, our safety, even our sacred honor depend on it!

Just say NO to Bear Sheeps!